Imprisoned

Dumbledore came for him, after all. They were awoken, not by one another or a hungry Dementor after a small bit of their souls, but by an auror who was not very pleased to be there. He shook Severus, who in sleep was leaning heavily against Sirius's shoulder. His eyes flung wide open, Severus Snape grasped for a wand that wasn't there -- only to have his grip meet tightly with the auror's forearm.

"Severus Snape?" the man asked, rather irritated. "You have a visitor."

By now, Sirius was wide awake too, and he cast a concerned look at Severus. "Who?" he asked, his eyes wide. Severus looked down to see Sirius was clutching at his sleeve. He gently withdrew himself from both men, and stood as gracefully as he could, his legs screaming in protest. They hadn't had any reason to stand in a long while -- they were unused to such movement.

"Albus Dumbledore," the auror replied, and Severus knew that this wasn't the answer Sirius expected. His gray eyes got even larger, but he didn't get up with Severus. The auror had said only Severus Snape, after all. Severus could feel Sirius's eyes on him as he left with the auror, the hot white light touching him much more directly now. He refused to glance back, knowing that the gray eyes would soon be darkening with understanding as the irony of it all hit.
-----
It was not a long conversation. He was back within an hour. Sirius hadn't moved from the place Severus had left him, and Severus hadn't really expected him to. He remained standing there after the auror let him in and closed the bars behind him, the key's slide against the metal lock echoing more heavily than it had the right to.

For a moment, he stood there silently, caught between laughter and tears. Fate was cruel, wasn't it? He was finally resigned to die here, here with Sirius. He was becoming used to his destiny, and had even started to admit to himself he could have come to love tolerate it with time. And now he was leaving the closed off existence that had been his and Sirius's alone for a lifetime more than three months. Had it only been three months?

"Say it, Snape," Sirius rasped, his voice darker than Severus had ever heard it. "We both know what it is you're going to say, so why don't you stop wasting my goddamn time?" So this was it then. He didn't tell Sirius what they both already knew: that Sirius had nothing, if not time.

"I am to be released into Dumbledore's custody." And you will be left behind -- here -- to die, alone. Without me.

Sirius chuckled, and Severus felt his heart -- because this was undoubtedly what it was -- clench within him, the dull pain eliciting a deep, slow intake of breath from him. He was starting to love the way Sirius chuckled as if they weren't in Azkaban waiting to die, as if they weren't enemies, as if Sirius hadn't tried to kill him in their faraway youth. But Sirius's chuckles were warmer before, not at all the dried, brittle, and bitter sounds that now crashed and crackled against his ears. "Snape, spy to the side of Light," he drawled, then he looked straight into Severus's eyes, the gray smoldering in a way that gray wasn't supposed to be able to do. "You lied," he whispered.

Severus felt cold wash over him. The Dementors were coming again. His fingers itched to grab onto any part of Sirius, to erase the freeze with another body's Sirius's heat. He closed his eyes briefly before answering. "You believed what you wished to believe," he said softly.

Sirius exploded. "YOU MADE ME BELIEVE IT, YOU FUCKING LIAR!" Sirius was still sitting on the ground, but he seized a handful of dirt and threw it at the man in front of him. Severus didn't even bother to brush it off. "YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE A DEATH EATER! YOU--" He gasped, the air whooshing out of him as tears starting a downward slide down his face, wiping away the soot, creating light skin-colored tracks that made Severus's heart ache more. His eyes were still glaring daggers, as wet as they were. "Y-You..." he continued, softer, "I would have never..." Never given myself to a free man, never plead my innocence, never let go of my dark side.

"I thought you'd be happy," Severus whispered, not really sure if he heard himself or not. "To know that you haven't been sleeping with the enemy." He needed to remind Sirius of himself. He could at least do that for him. He knew, though, that it wouldn't really matter. Not here. Here, it was easier for Sirius to believe that Severus was evil, and so was he -- that they deserved this.

"No. You're the one who's been doing that, haven't you?" Sirius bit out. "I wish you were dead."

Suddenly, Severus was down on the ground again. He scarcely knew how he got there, or how his hands were suddenly clutching the back of Sirius's head, or how his lips were suddenly pressing tightly against Sirius's lips. The kiss was hard, and messy, and it hurt. It hurt when Sirius's teeth grazed his tongue, when they bit forcefully down on his bottom lip; he would be bruised from the sheer force of their joining. He hurt back, hoping that this pain was enough so that Sirius would be distracted from the Dementors' cold for days later. It was his parting gift to the man who had kept him alive these few lifetimes months.

When they broke apart, Sirius's face was screwed up in pain and madness, and his eyes were shut. Severus pressed their foreheads together, and murmured, "I wish I were, too," and they remained that way until their breaths calmed and Sirius could reach up and take Severus's hands where they had come to rest on his shoulders.

"But you're living," he said softly. He looked at Severus, and there was urgency there. "Protect him for me. Protect Harry. He's my son."

"I have more important things to do than play at babysitter, Black," he growled. He wasn't sure he could keep a promise like that, because that was exactly what it was: a promise.

Sirius kissed him again, and he looked angry, and a little desperate. "Protect him, if only because he is my godson and you will remember me when you see him." Oh...

"We shall see." He really is nothing like Regulus. "It'll take more than Potter's baby to make me remember you, Black." It will take everything that is inside of me now, that I cannot even begin to rid myself of.

He left without a backward glance.