Forever Ago

Chapter 2: Lily

I've dreamed about meeting my parents for as long as I can remember. The way my mum would smile at me and then come up to hug me, just like Mrs. Weasley. I had not, however, imagined the first time I meet my mother to go like this.

She walked in through the door and started talking. There was no moment of recognition, no warm smile. I was just some student she had to escort up to the commons room. I was nothing more than a Head Girl duty. And then, the situation got worse...

"Are you even listening to me?" my mother snapped in a very irritated voice.

"Er... I...um...sorry...it's just the first time I've been to Hogwarts I get, er, distracted easily," I mumbled. Great, I've already annoyed my mum.

"Oh yes, Dumbledore mentioned you were home schooled and your parents only now let you transfer," Lily said still slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, and I'm Harry... Smith, that's me." It felt strange to say Smith. If only I could tell her who I really am. I could fix everything. My parents, this woman, wouldn't have to die. Sirius wouldn't ever go to Azkaban, and I wouldn't grow up with the Dursleys. If only I could tell her. If only...

"Yes, Dumbledore told me that and I presume he told you I'm Lily Evans the Head Girl this year. If you would follow me I will take you to the Gryffindor common room," Lily said importantly. She started walking away, and I trailed after her lost in thought. My mother--no I should think of her as Lily, I can't very well call her mum. Lily seems like a mixture of Percy and Hermione, except Lily wouldn't abandon her family for the ministry. No, she is going to die for me; she's nothing like Percy at all. Percy betrayed us and died for it; Lily died because of her loyalty to her family. I needed to get my thoughts away from such painful topics.

"So, er, what are the teachers like," I said. I couldn't believe one of the first things I asked my mum was about teachers. I began looking around the school, trying to keep busy. It looked basically the same. There were a couple different pictures here and there, but for the most part it hadn't changed.

"Oh, they're alright, Professor Flitwick has to be the best teacher though I love his charms class." Lily must have noticed I was looking around because she started explaining everything about the school. "You know, there are a hundred and forty-two staircases in Hogwarts, and watch out for when they move; it's a bit shocking. Oh, but you're probably already used to magic, since your parents are magical and all. The first time the stairs stated moving on me, I was terrified," Lily said smiling. It seemed as though she was willing to forgive me for not paying attention to her. Quick to anger and quicker to calm down.

"I can see how that would be a shock," I said as we started climbing the first stair case. I remember being amazed the first time I saw magic.

"You're going to get lost the first couple of weeks. Try to and make sure you find somebody you can follow to class. If we have similar timetables, I'll make sure you don't get lost," Lily offered.

"Thanks," I responded. Maybe this would be alright. Even though I'm just some kid to her, she is still willing to help me. Or maybe it will be worse seeing how nice she is, knowing that I'm the reason she died. No, she hasn't died yet, because I haven't been born yet. I haven't killed her yet. I wanted to say something, but I felt as though someone was choking me. My throat was tight. How am I going to face her day after day knowing what I'm going to do to her? I tried to look anywhere but at her.

"Are you alright?" Lily asked looking concerned. Immediately, I wiped all expression from my face. It was a trick I had learned after...never mind, best not to think about that right now.

"I'm fine," I answered mechanically. What else would have I said? I couldn't exactly tell her the truth.

"You looked upset. Are you scared to be leaving home?" Lily asked with sympathy. I felt like she just punched me in the stomach. I don't deserve her sympathy; I'm the reason she died.

"I'm not afraid," I said quietly and then chuckled to myself. Me, the Boy-Who-Lived, is afraid to leave home. It's not like the Dursleys would protect me. Although, it was strange to have been thrown into the past.

"Don't be ashamed, everybody's nervous the first time they leave home. Are you and your parents close?" Lily asked with concern in her familiar green eyes. She sure has a way to hit me where it hurts. I wanted to scream, and tell her just exactly how close I was with my parents. Instead I just looked down and played with my hands awkwardly. I couldn't meet her eyes. Those beautiful eyes I had inherited.

"I've always been close with my parents; they were thrilled when I got my Hogwarts letter. They always support me even though they're muggles. My parents are really good people. My sister, however...we haven't been able to get along with me, since she found out I was a witch." Lily looked at me to see if I was listening. I was, so she continued. "Petunia has never accepted me and I doubt we'll ever work it out. Especially if she keeps on seeing Vernon," Lily said with disgust.

"That's too bad," I said. I decided to add something else since she was making an effort to be friends. "I, er, I'm not exactly close with my family. I'm an only child, but I do see a lot of my cousin during the summer." That is an honest enough answer I decided. Lily was much more of an open person than I expected. I could hardly believe how much she was telling me even though she hardly knew me.

"Oh, I just assumed you'd be close with your parents since you lived at home with them for so long," Lily said quizzically. She doesn't know anything about me. She doesn't have any right to judge what my life has been like. She doesn't know I lived with her sister for the first ten years of my life, in a cupboard no less. She doesn't know nearly everyone I've ever cared about died. She doesn't know what it's like to look into somebody's eyes as they die. She doesn't no what it's like to kill somebody. She didn't know anything about me.

"My parents were busy people. When I'm not learning from them I don't see them. I am certainly not close with them," I stated defensively.

"Relax. Don't bit my head off," Lily said, her own temper flaring up. No! I can't have her dislike me. We were getting along fine a moment ago.

"Er, yeah, sorry, I don't really like to talk about it," I mumbled hoping we would hurry up and get to the common room. Lily's eyes softened and got her temper under control just as fast as it had flared up.

Then to our horror, we turned a corner and ran smack into Snape. I couldn't believe my eyes, here was a younger version of my greasy potions master. He was still pale, his nose was still too big for his face, and his scowl was nearly identical.

"Watch where you're going filthy mudblood," Snape spat. He put his hands inside his robes. At once my wand was out and I was ready to fight. The amount of battles I've been in has taught me to always be ready. I could barely restrain myself from hexing him on the spot. I was well trained to deal with his sort. He had no right to call my mother that word. He's not a teacher here! I won't let him get away with this, even if he will be a spy for the order, even if he has saved my life.

"Watch you're mouth Snape," Lily snapped back with a look of fury on her face.

"I think you need to be taught a lesson," Snape growled pulling out a bottle of potion from his robes. Instinct took hold of me, and I cursed him three times before he even had a chance to throw the potion (assuming that's what he was going to do). He fell flat to floor; the only movement was the twitching of his fingers.

"Wow, where did you learn to fight like that. I've never seen anybody curse so fast and I saw an Auror dueling demonstration once," Lily said giving me an appraising look with her intense green eyes.

"Well, I have had some private instructions, y'know, my parents," I said feeling slightly embarrassed, but pleased. It was the truth; Dumbledore and countless others had given me private instructions. Snape even gave me a few lessons. I know how he fights--dirty.

"Thanks for helping me with him. He's nasty to face in a duel. You wouldn't believe what his potions can do. Shall we leave him here like this?" she said with a mischievous glint in her brilliant greens eyes. The so-called fight against Snape had helped me earn her respect.

"We can't just leave him here like this all night, can we?" I said. I suppose I'm obligated to help Snape after all he will save my life. He will do so on countless occasions, not that I don't think he's a slimy git, but I guess I owe him.

"Prefects patrol these halls, someone will find him," Lily said, still angry with him.

"Fine by me, lets go." If it's alright with my mum, who am I to argue?

"Snape is horrible to anybody who isn't a pureblood..." Lily began. She spent a long time explaining all the horrible things he said and did. "He's always attacking me and any other muggleborns. He wasn't too bad until the end of fifth year, but since then he had been attacking me almost constantly." Then she proceeded to tell me about the house rivalry with the Slytherins and all about house points. I listened to her talk, not so much for the information, as I already knew most of it, but for the way she felt about everything. Judging by what she's said she has definitely read Hogwarts, a History. Hermione would like her. Finally, we came to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"This is the entrance to the Gryffindor tower. You will always need a password to get in. This month the password is Boggart," Lily said, back in Head Girl mode. The portrait swung open, and we walked through. It was late enough that the common room was empty nearly empty; a couple of the younger students were desperately trying to finish their homework. Nobody paid attention to me. She walked me up to the boy's dormitories and showed me my bed. None of the other seventh year's boys were there.

"Were is everybody else?" I asked looking disappointedly at the five empty beds.

"Probably wandering around the school breaking rules," Lily said in a disapproving voice. I found this funny. I didn't tell her that though.

"You should settle in while I try to find James and the rest of them to introduce all of you," Lily said. Lily walked toward the common room. I sat down on my bed and wondered which bed belonged to my father. I started emptying out my pockets wondering what I had brought with me. I had my wand, of course, and surprisingly a tiny model of my trunk. I wondered if I had shrunk my trunk so I could take it with me. But if that were the case that would mean I knew I was going to go to the past and had prepared for it... I started to examine the trunk more carefully. Just as I was reaching in my robes for my wand, Lily came back into the room.

"There not in the common room or the other dorms and I'll never find them if they're wandering around. I'll introduce the four of them to you in the morning. Goodnight," Lily said. And with that she walked from the room.

I began to examine the minuscule trunk again. Well, there was only one way to find out if it was my trunk with all stuff in it. I muttered an enlarging charmed and my trunk grew to full size. I said the password (firebolt) and an advanced charm to unlock the trunk; it popped open. Inside were all my things. My cloths, books, the invisibility cloak, and the Marauder's map were all there.

I lay down and tried to take my mother's advice but thoughts of Lily Evans, later Lily Potter, kept filling my head. Thoughts about my father kept me awake. Thousands of thoughts were racing through my head. Why am here? How am I going to get back? What will my parent be like? I had been sent back into the past, possibly by Hermione, and had no idea why or how, but somehow I didn't care. I would be seeing my dad for the first time. I will get to know my mum and have another chance to talk with Sirius. With these thoughts like these dancing through my head I finally fell asleep.