From the Damage

-3 years after the defeat of Voldemort-

The wizarding world is back to normal. At least, as normal as everyone one shows on the outside. There's underlying pain everywhere, even three years later. After I defeated Voldemort, I decided to live as a muggle. I don't want anything to do with magic. I don't even use it for trivial things. I lost so many people I know-- or to be more accurate, knew. It tears me up every day. I lost the only person I ever loved. He was my everything, and I miss him every day.

-Flashback to the night before the final battle-

"Draco, I'm sorry. We just can't do this anymore," I say, trying to fight back tears. I don't want to hurt him, but if I lose him out there, at least this way it'll be easier.

Draco looks at me in hurt and confusion. I feel my heart break as his silver eyes brim with tears, but it's better this way. I know it. Right?

"Harry, please, don't do this. I know you're nervous about the final battle, but you don't need to do this. You don't need to push me away."

I close my eyes against the overwhelming pain that wells up inside my body. "Yes, I do. I have to do this. For us." I open my eyes and leave him without another word. I have to.

-End of flashback-

That hurt him, I know it did. I think it hurt me worse, because I was wrong. It didn't make the pain of losing him any less worse. If anything, it made it ten times as bad.

My arms are hurting so bad from being so empty

My heart weighs like a ton cause it feels so heavy

I never told him how much I loved him. He told me plenty of times, but I just never told him. I had other things to worry about. Now, I wish I would have taken two seconds out of my life to say those three words.

I know now that it's my fault. I was the selfish one in the relationship.

Cause losing you has made me see

I've gotta change

Gotta blame it

All on me

I find myself thinking about the final battle all the time. Even after three years it's still so vivid in my memory. I wish it wasn't, but that's my price to pay. I have to live with it. I have to move on with my life. For Draco.

And I've been acting so pathetic

Knocking around like a ball on a string

It's taking time for me to get it

I'm ready and willing to do anything to make it up to you

-3 years ago: After the final battle-

I thought last night, leaving Draco with tears in his eyes, was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Now, this is. I'm walking amidst the wreckage of the final battle, looking for him. I've lost so many people I care for. Everyone has, I think. The Weasleys lost Percy, Fred and George, and Ron. I lost Ron. I lost Hermione, too. I can only hope that I didn't lose Draco. I'm still looking for him. As I do, I see many other people I know that I lost. Professor McGonagall, Professor Sprout, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Tonks, and Dumbledore. Dumbledore hits me hardest. Lucuis Malfoy shot Avada Kedavra at me, and Dumbledore saved me by taking the hit. I killed Lucius with his own curse. But then, I killed alot of deatheaters. Bellatrix Lestrange died by my hand. I avenged Siruis' death.

I'm still looking for Draco. I'm so numb that I'm pushing bodies out of the way without the urge to vomit. I expect to see him, all grimy and dirty with cuts all over his perfect body, running towards me with a broken leg or something. I don't see that. Instead, I see a crop of platinum-blonde hair lying a little ways away, matted with blood. I run to it, and my numb heart springs to life with fresh pain. Draco's silver eyes, once so full of life and love, stare up at me lifelessly. I collapse against him and cradle his broken body to me as I cry for him. I gently close his eyes with my trembling fingertips. "I love you," I whisper as I kiss his cold lips for the last time.

The ministry officials are gathering all the bodies. There are now only a few left, including Draco's. After they take him from me, I stand shakily. I stay and watch as they carry his limp body away. I should've told him sooner. He deserved to know.

I'm standing here all alone

Wishing that I could've known

You just can't walk away

From the damage