Armilla

Chapter 56

On Monday morning I awoke tired, but happy. I was exhausted from a weekend of Snape-style duelling and delving into magic I hadn't often used. I had gotten the impression that Snape was determined for me to reach as far as I could into the very depths of my magical ability. He didn't just want to teach me, he wanted me to explore my own magic.

And I certainly had been. The new Occlumency Shield charm I was currently working on was so taxing that I felt mentally and physically exhausted. But as Snape had pointed out, the demands of the charm would become less and less once my mind and body had become accustomed to using the charm, just like with Occlumency.

After talking to Mother about my brother the day before, I had been thinking about him a lot. Of course I could offer him love, something valuable that he might not have even realised that he was missing. Snape might have forgotten what it was to be loved...not that I was about to become the sentimental Hufflepuff and say it to his face. But I also wondered if he still felt alone in his life. I didn't feel alone, of course, because I could confide in him - and he had made it perfectly clear that he expected me to.

But what about him? Did he tell all his deepest worries and fears to Dumbledore? He had told me ages ago that he didn't keep everything inside. He couldn't really tell me all his worries and fears because it would mean revealing information that he would prefer I didn't know. But even if that wasn't the reason, Snape also had his pride - maybe he felt it a weakness to talk of his fears to his younger sister. He was after all, over twenty years older than me. I knew adults got scared; it was just that many of them wouldn't admit it to those a lot younger than them. I was sure that underneath Snape many magical layers obtained through Occlumency, he was scared.

Snape and I walked up to the Great Hall together for breakfast, and parted ways at the entrance. I made my way to the Ravenclaw table, while Snape chose to walk past his Slytherins. He was his usual Monday morning self (a bit grumpy like the rest of us, agitated because he had to teach Potter Occlumency that evening, and more sarcastic than usual. He was always more sarcastic on a Monday because he didn't get as much of a chance to be sarcastic on the weekend as he did during the week). I still hadn't asked for any details about the nature of his meeting with the Dark Lord the day before, and he hadn't offered any information at all. I was still inclined to believe at the moment that it was best that I didn't know.

"I got a new Lefties quill yesterday," I announced to my friends, as I sat down opposite them.

"A new Lefties quill?" Lisa pretended to look surprised. "Wow, Mill, you're lucky."

"Yep," I said airily, pouring some tea. "An anonymous present it would seem...strange that it came with your owl though, Terry."

Terry looked a bit guilty. "Well, Snape did tell us not to tell, Milly-,"

"Don't call me Mi-," I interrupted, but Terry continued talking as he sprinkled sugar over his porridge.

"-and I reckon that he would have put us in detention if we had told you."

"Yeah, alright," I said, grinning. "I daresay he would have."

"Did you guess who it was from straightaway?" Lisa asked, after swallowing a mouthful of cereal.

"No," I admitted. "I thought it was from you two at first, and then Severus pointed out that because it was wrapped separately and with no note, it must have been from a different person."

Terry laughed. "He didn't own up to it?"

I shook my head, glancing sideways at the people around me. They were all absorbed in their own conversations with their own friends, many of them chatting away about Valentine's Day in Hogsmeade. "He seemed happy to let me work it out for myself. He pretended that he didn't know who sent it either."

Lisa looked gave me an incredulous look. "Sounds like he was playing a game with you, Mill."

I nodded. "He was. He was happy to play it because he had the upper hand."

"So you worked out that Snape cornered us after Care of Magical Creatures?" Terry asked.

"Yeah, though he said he didn't corner you at all."

Terry shrugged. "Well, he didn't act as though we were in trouble or anything. But come on Mill, brother or not, this is Snape. If he approaches us for any reason at any time, we're going to feel cornered."

Lisa nodded. "We still found him intimidating even when he was talking about you."

"He still frowned and sneered and stuff," Terry went on, his face thoughtful as though he was reliving the memory.

"Well imagine what it would have looked like otherwise for the students walking by," I pointed out quietly. "Imagine seeing Snape talking animatedly with two Ravenclaw students."

"Yeah, yeah, good point." Terry grinned before shovelling a huge spoonful of porridge into his mouth.'

"It was really nice of him to think of doing something like that for you," Lisa said. "Maybe he felt guilty about not letting you go."

I shook my head. "No, nothing like that. I've been driving him mad with the way I take my wand out all the time in Potions to fix my smudges."

Terry rolled his eyes. "It's not only him then. That drives me crazy too."

I glared at him. "Well, problem solved, Boot. I've got a Lefties quill now."

He laughed. "Don't glare at me, Snape. You look like your brother when you do that."

I sighed, as if putting up with Terry's company was a great trial. "Anyway," I said, looking at Lisa. "How was Hogsmeade? Did you two have a good time?"

"Oh, it was great!" she exclaimed. "I won't say it was the best," she added, "because you weren't there to enjoy it with us. We missed having you there."

"Forget it," I said, laughing. "It was Valentine's Day after all. So what did you do?"

Lisa smiled. "Well there were all these couples inside the cafés and we didn't really want to join them in their snogging competition. So we did our shopping and just walked around together."

"We bought some Butterbeers and went up to visit the Shrieking Shack too," Terry added, after draining his teacup.

"Guess who we saw together?" Lisa went on, her eyes shining. "Though we had suspected this for ages."

"Who?"

"Harry Potter and Cho Chang!"

"Really?" I glanced down the table to where Cho Chang sat with her friend, Marietta Edgecombe. Cho looked far from happy. If anything, she looked irritated.

"I take it Cho's not happy about her dating arrangements?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lisa followed my gaze down the table. "Ah, well, I heard things ended badly for them in Madam Puddifoot's."

"Oh." Lovers quarrels indeed.

"And you might be interested to know," Terry piped up, "that Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy weren't together in Hogsmeade. I saw Pansy with her friends and Malfoy wasn't with them. I didn't see him at all actually."

"Oh, I did," Lisa said. "I saw him coming out of Honeydukes with Crabbe, Goyle, Nott and Zabini."

I shrugged. "I don't care really." In all honesty, I was starting to wish that Malfoy would go out with Pansy. It would hopefully end any expectations of Lucius Malfoy and my father. But then, I didn't know how much control Draco Malfoy had over who he dated. In any case, I was willing to change the subject.

"Thanks for the eucalyptus lollies and the chocolate stars."

"No problem," Terry yawned, leaning back to stretch. "Make sure you share them with your brother."

I smiled. I wasn't about to tell them about Snape's vendetta against chocolate stars. Not only did I find it amusing, I found it terribly endearing for a thirty-six year old man to look affronted every time he saw chocolate stars.

o o o o o o o o o o o

"Can you not see your mistake, Miss Abbott?" Snape demanded, during theory Potions on Friday. "The board clearly states that you are to stir the potion three times counter-clockwise after adding the dried figs and then just once clockwise when the potion becomes transparent."

Hannah Abbott was positively shaking as she stared down at her workbook, in which she had been copying (incorrectly it would seem) Snape's written instructions from the board.

"Well? What have you to say?" Snape stood in front of her, arms folded and his best scowl in place.

Hannah looked nervously towards the board. "Stir once counter-clockwise after adding the dried figs," she said timidly, "and then three times clockwise when the potion becomes transparent."

"Indeed," Snape said curtly. "Had I not pointed that out to you, Miss Abbott, you would have succeeded in ruining your potion and receiving a zero. I suggest you pay more attention. Five points from Hufflepuff."

Hannah looked as though she wanted to sink through the floor. The Hufflepuffs around her waited until Snape had turned and stalked away before casting her sympathetic glances. Smith was the only Hufflepuff who didn't; he was too busy glaring at me instead for daring to have such a brother. Oh well.

Even if I had wanted to return the glare, I couldn't have. Snape was now walking towards the left side of the classroom, where my friends and I sat. He didn't make eye contact with me; instead he glanced at the Lefties quill in my hand with a satisfied look. I had not known that I had been driving him crazy by taking my wand out to fix my smudges all the time. I didn't like to think about the type of comment I would have received had I not been his sister...perhaps something like: Miss Kemp, it would appear that you have not yet mastered the simple task of writing without leaving great splodges on your parchment. I suggest you improve the type of quill you are using or practise writing smudge-free with the quill you have in detention. Either way, I do not wish to see you take your wand out again in class unless it is to charm a potion. Understand?

It was a relief to be able to come to Potions now not dreading being made the centre of attention by Snape and his malicious remarks. I had had my share over the years - every student had. Admittedly, I still felt a different type of pressure in Potions that I didn't feel so much in my other classes.

I didn't like the thought of making mistakes in Potions, and not just because it would set everyone's tongues wagging about the Potions Master's sister being incompetent, which would inevitably get back to my father. More than anything else, I felt that I owed it to Snape to perform well in his class. I knew if I shared this view with him, he would sneer and tell me to stop putting so much pressure on myself and that Potions are simply fascinating. In fact, he would probably suggest that I talk it over with him while preparing another batch of ingredients for him. Not that I would mind. I had no issues about spending time with him.

Though I was certain that Snape's cutting remarks would not come my way during class, I was never comfortable hearing those remarks directed at others, unless it was particularly deserved, in cases like Zacharias Smith. I got three typical reactions from my classmates when Snape chose to intimidate a student. One was a look of annoyance, like it was partly my fault (due to family ties) that Snape was in a bullying mood. The second was indifference, meaning that I was ignored altogether while Snape was doing the intimidating, which was fair in my opinion because I also chose to adopt that expression during that particular time. And the third was a look of pity, as these students thought that I suffered similar treatment when I was alone with Snape.

"Now," said Snape, after everyone had finished copying out the potion. "Close your books." His black eyes swept the room. "That includes you, Macmillan," he added coldly, looking pointedly at Ernie, who hastily closed his book.

"Your OWLs will be upon you before you know it," Snape continued, moving to stand at the front of the room. Everyone followed his every move, not daring to be caught not paying attention. "It is therefore crucial that you are revising as much as possible. It astounds me that some of you still don't know all the properties of basic potion ingredients. This sort of knowledge should now come naturally to you." He glared around the room and a few people slouched slightly on their stools. "If it doesn't, you certainly have a lot of work to do, especially if you wish to return for Advanced Potions in your sixth year."

He began to walk between the workbenches. "Finch-Fletchley," he said sharply, fixing his gaze on Justin, who looked quite startled to be called upon since he had been paying attention. "How do Undetectable Potions live up to their name?"

Justin looked nervous as he answered. "um...they have no odour, taste, or colour...and they can be added to other substances without being noticed?"

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Is that a question or your answer?"

"My answer, sir."

Snape nodded curtly. "Correct." He addressed himself to the next student, sitting beside Justin. "Miss Bones, name two ingredients used in a Wit-Sharpening Potion."

Susan was silent for a moment, and I could tell she was trying not to panic. She couldn't look for support from her friends because Snape was standing right in front of her, staring coldly down at her.

"Ginger roots?"

"That's one, Miss Bones. I asked for two."

"...and...scarab beetles." Susan looked hopeful. Really, if students had no interest in potions, chances were that they were going to forget potions and how they were made.

Snape gave her a dubious look. "That is correct, but I am not entirely convinced that knowledge got you through that as much as luck."

Susan looked down at her hands. For her sake, I hoped Snape would just move on to the next student.

"Tell me how the ginger roots and scarab beetles are prepared for the potion, Miss Bones," he said softly, though his voice sounded dangerous.

Poor Susan now looked terrified. She clearly didn't remember doing the Wit-Sharpening Potion in fourth year, and from the looks on the many faces around her, not many others did either. Perhaps they had only been studying fifth year content so far.

"I'm waiting, Miss Bones."

"The scarab beetles are ground..."

"Oh, so you do know. And the ginger roots?"

"Shredded?"

"Incorrect," he answered coldly. "Would you care to enlighten her, Miss Abbott?"

Hannah was still looking stricken from earlier, but she took a shot at the answer. "Chop them?"

"Correct." Snape glared around the room, his eyes glittering menacingly. "How terribly tiresome this is. We shall go around the room, and before long you will know if you need to do further revision. If, in a couple of week's time when I do this exercise again, there is no improvement, those students will do detention until they do know. I don't want guesswork answers, I want informed answers."

Everyone now looked a bit edgy. I certainly felt nervous. I wondered if Snape would ask me a question he was certain I knew the answer to, just to save face. He went through the Hufflepuffs first, his expression becoming more forbidding as nerves got the better of them and they stuttered their way through the answers. A few of them, Zacharias Smith included, had been revising though, and they answered perfectly. When this happened, Snape just nodded curtly and moved on. It would have been a miracle if he had awarded House points to a House that wasn't his.

Not long after he had moved onto the Ravenclaws, he stopped in front of the bench where I was sitting with my friends.

"Miss Turpin, name the most powerful sleeping potion."

Lisa answered confidently. "The Draught of Living Death."

Snape nodded and turned to Terry. "Boot, what colour is a Strengthening Solution, if it has been prepared correctly?"

"Turquoise, sir." Terry looked relieved even before Snape said anything. We had revised that potion not long ago in the common room.

"Correct." Snape now turned to me, his expression indifferent. "How are lace-wing flies prepared if they are to be added to Polyjuice Potion?"

That was a tricky question...I knew the lace-wing flies had to be stewed for a certain number of days before being added to the potion...how many? I had to get this right. Snape had probably refrained from asking his sister an easy question so the other students wouldn't think that he was going easy on me.

"They have to be stewed," I answered quietly, "for twenty-one days."

"Correct." Without casting me another glance, he moved on to question Mandy Brocklehurst and Padma Patil. I felt so relieved.

o o o o o o o o o o o

"I'm not looking forward to another pop quiz from Snape," said Terry, as we made our way out of the dungeons after class. "The looks he was giving some people were venomous."

"I'm glad you got yours right, Mill." Lisa looked a bit pale. Even though she had gotten her question right, she had looked sick right up until the moment she had given her answer. "It wouldn't have looked good for either of you if you hadn't. I didn't know the answer to your question."

"Nor did I," Terry went on. "Snape certainly didn't go easy on you, that's for sure."

"I bet you get extra help anyway, Snape," said an angry voice from behind us. We turned around to see Zacharias Smith walking behind us. "I study for five hours everyday, but you'd probably still come out on top because of your connections. It wouldn't look good for you to get a low grade in Potions."

"I wasn't getting low grades in Potions when I was a Kemp," I retorted, as we kept walking. "It's not about connections, Smith, it's about brains. Are you familiar with the brain? It's this grey matter inside the head-" I paused, positively fuming. "Oh sorry, is this a sensitive issue? Can you follow simple conversation on that half a brain of yours?"

Smith sneered. "Oh, funny, Snape. You think you can say what you like?"

"I say what I think, Smith," I said airily, as we reached the Entrance Hall. "As do you. That's equal, isn't it?"

Smith opened his mouth to retort, but abruptly closed it again.

"Don't you have a class to get to, Smith?" Terry was looking at him as if he was some sort of insect.

"No, I have a free period now."

"Then obviously you have some studying to do?" Lisa said, giving him a bored look.

"Of course he does," Terry went on. "Better get started on that five-hour study period, Smith."

"I will," he snapped, glaring at all three of us. "I don't care what you say, Armilla Snape, you're going into the OWLs with an advantage over everyone else. You need-"

"What I need," I interrupted, "is your absence. I have long been desiring it."

Smith cast me one last look of contempt before turning on his heel. "I'm going to study," he said shortly, walking away.

"Yes, go study," Terry called after him. "A mouse studying to be a rat."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

After classes that day, I went down to the dungeons as usual. Snape wasn't there yet, so I went into my bedroom to visit Morag. She had been in a great mood since Tuesday night, when Snape had finally allowed me to give her some of the Morgan's food for good behaviour.

"Hello," I called, as I stepped into the room. Morag flew at once from her place on top of my armoire to my arm. She nipped affectionately at my finger. "Nice to see you too," I murmured, stroking her feathers.

When Snape still hadn't returned after another fifteen minutes, I pulled out my chocolate frog card and wasn't surprised that the wizard on the front was waving at me to indicate a message.

I'll be down there in time for dinner. Umbridge decided to call a last-minute staff meeting.

Lucky him. Probably a couple of hours of discussing new rules which meant handing over even more power to the Ministry.

I settled at my desk to work on that day's homework. After getting through my Ancient Runes and Arithmancy work, I turned to my Potions homework. Snape had set a particularly tricky essay on moonstone and venom antidotes. I searched through the books I had with me for extra information, but couldn't find all the information I was looking for. I needed to get the potions book that Snape had bought for me in Diagon Alley. I knew it contained more useful information.

"I'll be back in ten minutes," I said to Morag as I got up. I had to get the book from my trunk in my dorm. "Severus will be here shortly, so if you feel like doing any screeching or loud hooting, get it over with now."

Morag complied by letting out one almighty screech, turning bright yellow at the same time. A moment later, she was quiet again and back to her normal colour.

"Feel better?"

She blinked in response and hopped over to her water tray.

I hurried up to Ravenclaw Tower, knowing that I would not be detained long as most people would have made their way to the Great Hall for dinner by now. There was no strict time for dinner on a Friday night, and Snape and I generally chose to eat in the dungeons.

As I expected, the Ravenclaw common room was deserted. I retrieved the book, shrank it down to fit inside my pocket in case I ran into Umbridge, and a moment later I was on my way to the dungeons again.

My return trip wasn't as smooth. First I ran into the Weasley twins, who winked and slipped something called a Skiving Snackbox into my hand and kept walking. Terry had told me all about Skiving Snackboxes. I would have to keep it away from Snape. If he found it, he would conduct experiments on it to find out what it was for and I didn't want to be responsible for Fred and George being in trouble.

Slipping the Skiving Snackbox into my pocket, I got as far as the Entrance Hall before I ran into someone else. Hermione Granger was hurrying out of the Great Hall carrying her schoolbag, obviously on her way to the library.

"Oh, Armilla!" she said, beckoning me over to her. "I was wondering if you have Miraculous Moonstones or Potion Innovations. Someone has checked them out of the library and I wanted to borrow them too."

"No, sorry," I replied. "It wasn't me." I generally didn't need to go to the library for Potions related resources. That was one advantage that I had. Snape always let me use the books in the sitting room. I knew we had the books that Hermione was looking for in the sitting room, but I knew Snape would never allow one of his least-favourite Gryffindors to borrow them.

Hermione looked crestfallen. "Oh, that's a shame. I've been asking so many people if they know who has them. Madam Pince won't tell me who has them." She sighed. "I'm starting to think one of the Slytherins has borrowed them."

I nodded at her in understanding. "Well, I don't think many of them will be willing to help you out."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Not while Draco Malfoy is there anyway. I can't walk past their table without hearing him whisper Mudblood. Thanks anyway. I'll keep asking people."

"Wait!" I said suddenly, getting an idea. "What about the Room of Requirement? Think about the information you need and you might find the books that you want in there."

Hermione's eyes shined. "Ooh, good idea. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that. Thanks, Armilla."

I shrugged. "I hope it works."

"Oh, I'll let you know what I find," she said, beaming.

"Don't you have some studying to do, Miss Granger?" said a deep voice from behind me. I turned around to see Snape standing behind me, looking thoroughly irritated.

"Yes, sir," Hermione answered, her face expressionless. She had put up with a great deal from Snape over the years, and to stand there without hatred etched on her face was a remarkable feat for her.

"Then I suggest you move along," he said, his lip curling. "There are books waiting to be memorised and regurgitated on your part, and subsequently misconstrued later by Potter and Weasley."

Hermione opened her mouth and shut it again, pushing down whatever she had really wanted to say. "Yes, sir," she said again, and she left in the direction of the library.

Snape didn't bother looking at me as he swept off towards the dungeons. I hastily followed, not saying anything.

When we arrived back to our rooms, our dinner was already on the table, having been magically sent there by the house elves.

"I was most surprised to see you conversing with Miss Granger in the Entrance Hall," said Snape, as we sat down to eat. He fixed me with a harsh expression. "Not at all prudent, I must say, to be talking to a muggle-born where you can be viewed by certain Slytherins."

"I didn't approach her," I said defensively. "She approached me, and the conversation only lasted for a few seconds. What was I supposed to do?"

"If you must talk with Miss Granger, do so before or after the classes you have with her." He didn't look very happy. "That way you can disguise the contact as being for study related purposes."

"So if she ever approaches me in the Entrance Hall again I can't talk to her?"

Snape glared at me. "Don't be ridiculous. Limit the conversation and arrange to meet in the library, or as I said, before or after one of the classes you share."

"She'll want to know why," I murmured, poking at the chicken on my plate with my fork.

"Of course she will," he scoffed. "It's Miss Granger we're talking about."

"There are worse people I could talk to," I said quietly.

"Indeed," he said, sneering slightly. "You may tell her why, just don't go into detail. Miss Granger is not entirely stupid; she would know her place in the wizarding world is viewed as very low by some people. If she wants to maintain contact with you, she will have to accept the terms."

We ate for a few moments in silence. It was strange how the revelation of my true identity and change of name altered simple day-to-day things like talking to people in the Entrance Hall.

"I was glad you answered that question right in Potions today," Snape said suddenly, looking over at me. "For a moment I thought you weren't going to answer."

"No, I knew," I answered. "I had been wondering how hard you were going to make the question."

He smirked. "Go easy on you so you would get it right? Or make the question difficult to show that I don't go easy on you?"

I smiled. "Either way, Zacharias Smith thinks I have an advantage over everyone else. He thinks I get extra help."

"Zacharias Smith is not capable of rational thought, Armilla. He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career."

I laughed. "Cutting Remarks: Dealing with Dunderheads?"

"That book is too good."

"He thinks I only get good marks in Potions because I'm related to you."

"Your marks weren't bad when you were a Kemp."

"I told him that and it didn't make a difference."

"Well you don't need to make excuses or prove yourself to Smith. He's a fine one to talk. The fact that he is a Hufflepuff is evidence of some flaw of character."

We finished dinner not long after and Snape decided that he wanted to duel. I was tired, but I complied. After all, I couldn't stop an attacker on account of being tired.

Snape began to duel as soon as the furniture had been moved out of the way and it was all I could do to shield the hexes. I used the Occlumency Shield I had been working on, willing it to become stronger and stronger. It would shake slightly if my concentration wavered, so all my effort was put into maintaining it.

After ten minutes of firing hex after hex without getting through my shield, Snape stopped.

"You know, it's getting boring to have nothing fired back at me," he said. "I haven't managed to get through your shield so you may as well try multi-tasking with it now."

I wasn't entirely convinced. Maybe I just felt too content with concentrating on the shield alone.

"Give it a go, Armilla," he said seriously. "You have to try it sometime, or I may as well have not taught you this at all."

I nodded, feeling nervous. "Alright then." I put the shield up, preparing myself for whatever Snape cast.

"Rictusempra!"

The charm didn't get through, and I tried to throw something back, concentrating on the shield at the same time.

"Tarantallegra!" I said, trying to mentally hold on to the shield at the same time.

"Trebuchiero!"

"Ow!" I exclaimed, as I fell hard onto the floor. The shield had faltered with my concentration on the hex and had allowed Snape's own hex to get through.

"Well, I didn't expect you to get it the first time," he said, walking over to me. He held his hand out to pull me up. I took it and got up, feeling quite battered. "You haven't been working on that shield for very long. It may take many goes before it works while you cast a hex. Let's try again."

He walked over to the other side of the room again and raised his wand. I raised mine too, preparing myself again.

I fell again, and again, and again. And then once more.

"That was an improvement," said Snape, coming to stand over me from where I sat on the floor.

"How was it an improvement?" I asked crossly. "I still ended up on the floor." My tailbone was aching from landing on it too many times.

"Don't be so impatient. It was an improvement because you took a lot longer to fall that time, which means that it took longer for your shield to fail." He folded his arms. "That clearly points to you getting the hang of this."

"Oh."

"Oh, indeed," he scoffed, as I took his outstretched hand to pull myself up.

I was exhausted. Though I hadn't been successful, the use of such magical energy had worn me out.

"Have you done your homework?" Snape asked, as he sat down at the table with a pile of essays to mark.

"Most of it. I've just got Potions left to do."

"Well, you can work on that tomorrow morning," he said, reaching for the essay on top of the pile. "You're too tired to put proper effort into it tonight, though it is such a joy to read essays clearly written at two o'clock in the morning."

"How can you tell?"

"The essays have poorly constructed sentences and halfway through it is almost like the student has forgotten what the point of the essay was. Once I received half a poor Potions essay and half an essay on the Goblin Riots."

"What do you write back to them?"

Snape smirked, still looking down at the essay in front of him. "Well, I used to enquire when the student intended on learning Beginner's English. I have a new favourite at the moment, courtesy of you."

"Oh no." Maybe giving him that book wasn't the best idea.

He smiled at my troubled expression and then proceeded to quote. "I am returning this otherwise good writing parchment to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top"

I groaned. 'This is all my fault.'

He laughed as he picked up his quill. "Best present I ever received, Armilla."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

On Saturday, I joined Lisa and Terry in the Great Hall for lunch after finishing my Potions essay down in the dungeons. We were planning on going to the Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw Quidditch game that afternoon. We were certain that Ravenclaw would win, given that Harry and the Weasley twins were no longer on the team due to their ridiculous lifelong ban.

Having finished lunch early, Lisa persuaded Terry and I to go to the Charms classroom with her to retrieve a textbook that she had accidentally left in there the day before. Being the ever cautious person that she was, Lisa had gotten written permission from Professor Flitwick to retrieve the book in case Umbridge came along and found us alone in the room.

"I left it on my desk," said Lisa, as we stepped into the empty classroom. "But there were other classes after ours yesterday so it was probably moved somewhere else."

We went further in and spread out to look for the book.

"Well it's not on Flitwick's desk," Terry called from the front of the room.

"It's not in any of these cupboards either," Lisa said, as she and I rifled through the spare books and parchment in the cupboards running along the side of the room.

Terry pulled out his wand. "Accio Lisa's book!"

There was a loud clunk in the room, coming from the storeroom. The book must have hit the closed door. I supposed the door was magically guarded against the Accio charm.

"I'll get it," I said, moving to the other side of the room.

"Alohomora." The door creaked slightly as I pushed it open. I took out my wand to cast some light into the room. "Lumos."

I gasped in horror at the sight that met me.

Snape, clearly dead.

"No," I murmured, my heart thumping hard. A tingle ran through my body as I fought to breathe. Snape was sprawled on the floor, white as a ghost, his lips blue. There was not a mark on him. He was so still.

I crouched down beside him, feeling like I was going to be sick.

"Severus, you can't," I said softly. "You can't be..." He couldn't be. He just couldn't be. But why would his body be in a dark storeroom? I had seen him only an hour before, down in the dungeons. He couldn't be...

Realisation swept over me after logical thought had come screaming back. This wasn't Snape. It couldn't be. It had to be an unwelcome creature that liked to inhabit small, dark spaces. A creature that liked to take the form of what one feared most.

I got up hastily and left the room. I certainly couldn't think of anything humorous to use with the Riddikulus charm. I just didn't want to be in the room with the boggart any longer.

"Did you find-" Lisa broke off when she saw my face. "What's the matter?"

Terry gave me a strange look and moved cautiously into the room.

"Ahhhh!"

"What?" Lisa cried, looking stricken.

"There's a python in here! I gotta get out-"

"It's a boggart," I called, my voice shaking slightly.

"A boggart? Oh bloody hell..."

Lisa and I waited in silence for a moment.

"Riddikulus!"

The tension was broken by the sound of Terry's laughter. We moved into the storeroom behind Terry to see the python tied into a rather tricky knot. For awhile we watched it, as laughter weakened it. Not long after, it vanished with a puff of smoke.

"What's so terribly amusing in here? I do enjoy a good joke."

The three of us spun around in surprise. Dumbledore was standing right behind us, his eyes twinkling merrily.

"Professor," Lisa said, breathlessly. "Armilla found a boggart in here."

"Did she really?" Dumbledore looked at me, his face full of interest. I tried to look indifferent about it, but fooling the Headmaster was no easier than fooling Snape.

"Terry disposed of it, sir," I said, now feeling a bit guilty that I hadn't gotten rid of the boggart myself.

"Well done, Mr Boot. Twenty points to Ravenclaw." Dumbledore turned to me. "And twenty points to you, Miss Snape, for identifying it as a boggart." He gave me a significant look and I wondered if he had already guessed what I had seen. Though I had realised that it was a boggart, I couldn't rid my mind of the terrible image of Snape...dead.

"Ah, here it is!" said Lisa suddenly, bending down to pick her book up off the floor.

"Ah, you now have what you came for?" Dumbledore enquired, looking at the book in Lisa's hands.

"Yes, sir," she said. "Professor Flitwick gave us permission to be in here."

"Fine, fine," he said, waving a hand aside. "Well the Quidditch game is due to start in twenty-five minutes. I would think that you want good seats. Perhaps you should return your book to Ravenclaw Tower and head down to the pitch."

"Yes, sir," we said, following him out of the storeroom.

Once we were out in the corridor, and Dumbledore had sealed the classroom, we made to walk to Ravenclaw Tower.

"Armilla," Dumbledore called. "If you would stay a moment, I wish to speak with you."

I nodded at my friends to go and I moved back to Dumbledore.

"We'll go up to my office," he said. "If you don't mind, that is."

"No, sir. Not at all."

We passed many students on the way to Dumbledore's office, many carrying scarves and gloves, clearly on their way out to the Quidditch pitch.

"Chocolate Stars," Dumbledore said to the gargoyle. It sprang to life and before long I was sitting in one of the chairs opposite Dumbledore's desk.

"Lemon drop?"

"No thankyou, sir." The last thing I felt like was food.

"Well then, Armilla. I would like to talk to you about the boggart."

I felt sick. The image of Snape's ghostly face kept flashing in my mind. "Do you...know what I saw then?" I asked softly.

Dumbledore inclined his head. "I have an inkling. But I may be wrong of course."

"I saw him dead," I whispered.

Dumbledore didn't need to ask who. "Just as I thought," he said quietly. "You fear your brother's death more than anything else."

I nodded, biting my lip.

'Understandable."

"I have many things to fear,' I said slowly, "I fear my father...I fear seeing Shar again...I fear Severus being found out...but I fear being left alone by him...I don't want him to leave me."

Dumbledore looked grave. "I do understand that you have more reason to fear for Severus than the average student fearing for a guardian. I cannot deny that Severus has an extremely dangerous job. I will not lie to you, Armilla, I fear for him too."

I swallowed, beginning to occlude so that I wouldn't lose it in front of the Headmaster.

"But life can become terribly miserable if one constantly spends time contemplating potential dangers. Severus would go mad if he did that, as would you, and as would I."

I nodded, looking up to meet his gaze.

"The way the wizarding world is at the moment, Armilla, we have to take each day as it comes. I am sure you would be the first to say that life is full of unexpected twists and turns."

I gave a small smile. I certainly agreed with that. A year ago, I wouldn't have believed for a thousand galleons that I would discover that Snape was my brother.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Dumbledore called.

The door opened and to my surprise and...embarrassment, Snape came in. He stopped short upon seeing me there and fixed me with a suspicious expression. Seeing him made me feel even sicker. The image of his dead body in my mind seemed stronger than ever.

"Armilla, what are-"

"Sit down, Severus," Dumbledore interrupted. "Nothing is wrong. It was I who invited Armilla up here."

Snape stared from me to the Headmaster, still looking a bit apprehensive. Finally he relented, and sat down in the chair next to me.

"Lemon drop, Severus?"

Snape glared at Dumbledore. "No thankyou, Headmaster."

"Well, then," Dumbledore began, leaning back in his chair as he surveyed the two of us. "I was just talking to Armilla and her friends down in the Charms classroom, Severus, and I invited Armilla up here for a chat."

Snape narrowed his eyes as he turned to look at me. "What were you and your friends doing in the Charms classroom?"

"Lisa was getting a book," I explained. "We had permission to be there."

"I was coming along that corridor Severus, when I heard Mr Boot laughing," Dumbledore went on. "Always happy to hear a good joke, I wandered in to investigate. To my surprise, I found the three of them in the storeroom. Mr Boot had just vanished a boggart, you see, and his Riddikulus charm must have been quite humorous."

"Indeed," said Snape dryly.

"Armilla found the boggart, Severus."

Snape looked sharply at me. "Did she?"

I said nothing. I wasn't about to tell Snape that I had come across his dead body in the Charms storeroom.

"She did," Dumbledore replied softly.

Snape continued to look at me, his expression now unfathomable, but I offered no information.

"Did you know Armilla," said Dumbledore suddenly, "that Severus here found a boggart not long ago?"

"Headmaster," said Snape urgently, as he looked back at Dumbledore, his black eyes flashing with anger.

I also looked back at Dumbledore, at a loss for words. Snape had also found a boggart?

"You didn't know that, Armilla?" asked Dumbledore, quite calmly.

Snape's expression now looked venomous.

"No, sir," I said quietly.

"Why didn't you tell her about it, Severus?"

Snape glowered at Dumbledore. "We have spoken about this, Headmaster," he said through clenched teeth. I could almost feel the anger radiating from his body. "I have no wish to tell Armilla."

The Headmaster stared at him. "Well, I must say, that is interesting." He turned to face me again. "Severus' boggart changed Armilla, after having taken the same form for so many years."

"Headmaster!" Snape snapped, now getting to his feet. "I do not wish to discuss this."

Dumbledore did not look taken aback in the least. Instead he interlaced his hands on his desk and looked up at Snape.

"Very well, Severus. But in that case, I wouldn't expect Armilla to tell you about her boggart. That wouldn't be fair now, would it?"

Realising that he was being manipulated, and by a Gryffindor at that, Snape clenched his hands into fists, looking enraged.

"I suggest you either sit down, Severus, or take Armilla to the Quidditch game and say no more about any of this."

Snape glared at both of us, and the look on his face told me that he dearly wanted to hurl something at the Headmaster. Quite abruptly, he sat down again. So he did really want to know what my boggart was, enough to reveal what his own boggart was.

"Why don't you tell your sister what your boggart has been for many years, Severus?" said Dumbledore serenely, watching Snape closely.

Snape didn't say anything at first, and I wondered if he would answer at all. Finally he spoke. He stared straight ahead, not making eye contact with either of us. "The Dark Lord Triumphant."

Well, that was fair enough. That would have been an awful thing to see. Even through the years when the majority of the wizarding world had believed the Dark Lord to be finished, his triumph had still been Snape's boggart.

"But the boggart has changed now, Armilla," Dumbledore announced, still watching Snape, who seemed to be pretending that we weren't there in the room with him. He kept staring, or rather, glaring, straight ahead.

"Imagine, Armilla," Dumbledore went on, "what you saw, and then reverse it for your brother."

The reverse? If I had seen Snape dead, then he must have seen...me dead. He now feared my death more than You-Know-Who's triumph?

At Dumbledore's words, Snape broke out of his feigned indifference and looked sharply at me.

"You saw me dead?"

"You saw me dead?"

Neither of us answered. We just continued to stare at each other.

"Well," said Dumbledore cheerfully, clapping his hands together. "There's nothing like having boggarts prove your regard for each other." He stood up. "I'm off to the Quidditch match. I'll leave you two to it then."

A moment later he was gone, and my brother and I were still staring at each other.

"When did you find it?" I asked softly, feeling terribly sick. My mind kept replaying the moment I walked into the Charms storeroom.

He blinked as he looked away. "While you were at Father's house. I found it in a cupboard in the staffroom."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He cast me a dour look. "Would you have told me about the boggart you found today?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Well then, it would seem that we're both at fault."

I suddenly got up.

"Where are you going?"

"I've got to throw up," I said hastily. The nearest bathroom was several minutes away from Dumbledore's office.

Snape didn't seem at all surprised. "Come," he said. "Quickly." I followed him up the stairs and watched as he performed a strange wand movement. It seemed like nothing happened, but Snape suddenly took my hand and started walking quickly. "Hold it in," he muttered. We kept walking and we were suddenly in a corridor that I knew wasn't really in Dumbledore's office. I had been in this corridor before...ages and ages ago. It led to the Secret Wing, the place where I had discovered Mother's ring.

We walked very quickly and before long we were in the familiar corridor outside the room I had stayed in for several days the year before after Shar's attack.

I ran into the room and headed straight to the bathroom, where I was promptly violently sick. Trying to stop, I kept occluding in an attempt to push the memory of a dead Snape from my mind. After seeing such a horrific thing, it wasn't easy to do.

I had been sick in this bathroom before, after finding out about my parents. And Snape had come into my bedroom, demanding for me to get out of the bathroom. So much had happened since then, and yet here I was, being sick into the same toilet.

After I had stopped, Snape came in to find me sitting on the floor next to the toilet.

"I didn't mean to be so weak," I said, feeling guilty.

He sat down on the edge of the bath. "Well I certainly won't condemn it," he said quietly. "I did the same thing after I saw my boggart."

I stared up at him in shock. He was normally so collected. I couldn't imagine him rushing off to be sick, even on my account.

"I can't get the image out of my mind," I said softly, my eyes brimming with tears. I had stopped occluding for Snape's sake when he came in. He didn't like me occluding in front of him.

He shook his head, looking quite lost himself, a sight which was certainly unnerving. "No, it certainly lingers."

We were both silent for a moment.

I flushed the toilet and then waved my wand at it, casting a cleaning spell. Sitting back again, I wiped my eyes.

Again, we sat in silence. Both of us were in vulnerable positions, having found out what the other feared the most. And it made each of us uncomfortable to think that the other worried about living life without the other.

Finally, Snape stood up and held out a hand to pull me up as well. Getting up, I followed him back into the bedroom.

"This room brings back memories," I said, sitting on the bed.

Snape was also looking around the room. "It certainly does," he said softly. "You were the first child I ever baby-sat." He sneered suddenly, and I knew from that that he was becoming himself again. "And not the best behaved child, I might add."

I smiled. I couldn't argue with that. I had done things that had certainly made him angry at the time. "If I had been well-behaved, I would never have gone exploring and I would still be Armilla Kemp."

Snape looked thoughtful as he sat down on the bed next to me.

"You would not have had to put up with Father," he said.

I nodded. "But I would never have known you, either."

"You knew me before," he scoffed.

"No, I didn't," I said, looking up at him. "I didn't know you at all."

He stared at me for a moment before staring in front of him again. This seemed to be what he did when he felt uncomfortable. He had always comforted me when I felt uncomfortable. He always seemed too proud and collected to be in need of comfort himself.

I slipped my hand in his and squeezed it.

If he was surprised by this action, he didn't show it. But nor did he shake my hand away. He kept staring straight ahead.

"You know," he said quietly, after we had sat there like that for some time. "What the Headmaster said just now was incorrect. I didn't need a boggart to prove my regard for you."

"No," I said softly. "Nor did I."

He finally looked back at me, his black eyes like endless tunnels. "I'm not one for expressing such...Hufflepuff emotions, you know," he went on, his voice barely audible. "But you must know that I..." Love must have been such a foreign word for him to use.

I nodded as I looked back at him. "Yes," I whispered, "I know. And I..." I broke off too, and I had no idea why.

Snape moved his hand and placed it over my bracelet, and warmth shot through me in the same way it must have shot through him. 'Yes,' he whispered back, his face still unfathomable. "...I do know..." And he said no more. He didn't really need to.