Armilla

Chapter 42

It wasn't the most pleasant feeling to be woken up to the sound of Madam Rougier's voice, clapping her hands to get my attention.

"Up! Up! Up!" she commanded, dramatically clapping hard for each 'up.'

As groggy as my mind was, I still managed to bite back my "down! down! down!" retort.

Honestly, what kind of nitwit walked into a room clapping their hands at a sleeping person? Well, I supposed it was better than singing. Merle used to walk into my bedroom singing You are my sunshine, my only sunshine and the only reason I never threw my pillow at her was my love for the woman. I didn't like cheerful songs first thing in the morning. I would have to tell Docky that. I knew I wouldn't have to bother telling Snape that. I highly doubted that he knew that song. Actually, I highly doubted that Snape sang at all.

I groaned sleepily and rolled over, hoping against hope that all this was a dream, and I was actually at the Merrigan Estate.

That hope was short-lived however, for a moment later the blankets and sheet had been pulled off me so allow a rush of cold air to fly at me. I chewed on my tongue to stop myself cursing the evil hag.

"Get up," she said briskly. "We have a busy morning ahead of us, especially if we want to improve your appearance."

Improve my appearance? Humph! I didn't look that bad in the morning did I? Apparently I did.

"You look dreadful, girl," said Madam Rougier, shaking her head as she peered down at me. "Your hair is messy and you need makeup."

What? My hair was messy? No! Impossible! I had just woken up! How could my precious hair be messy first thing in the morning? Dear me, I would have to look for a pillowcase with a built in comb!

"If you're thinking something cheeky I will not be pleased," Madam Rougier said snidely, narrowing her eyes.

"I'm not, Madam," I said innocently. "I was just thinking how unfortunate it is that I am not beautiful enough to get by without makeup."

"Yes, it is unfortunate," she replied, smiling sweetly.

"It's interesting, because my father thinks I do have natural beauty. He might not like you telling me otherwise. He wouldn't want his daughter to be told that she has no natural beauty."

Madam Rougier's face turned a sickly shade of purple. "Fathers can be blind sometimes," she said, her face contorted with fury. "I daresay your traitor brother is even more so."

"No, not really," I said simply. "Looks don't seem to bother him so much."

"With that attitude, it would be my guess that he has no natural beauty either," she retorted. "I daresay that he must be quite unattractive."

Now there was an interesting thought. A few months ago I might have agreed with the woman. Snape certainly had never had a Lockhart-like fandom of girls after him. But in all honesty, I didn't find Snape unattractive at all now. And it bothered me that others did.

"No," I said, trying to show that I wasn't offended. I didn't want to hand the woman a weapon. "He's not unattractive at all."

"I doubt your word is reliable," Madam Rougier muttered. "Well, get up then. Go and take a shower and get dressed. And for heaven's sake, girl, moisturise and put on makeup."

It took me three goes to get to the bathroom. I was called back the first couple of times because stomping and trudging apparently weren't acceptable ways of walking. I would have to remember that.

When I emerged from the bathroom a while later, Madam Rougier was seated in an armchair waiting for me. My hair was super neat and I was hoping that I was wearing enough makeup to pass her expectations.

"Passable," she said, after she had gotten up to peer at my face. "Well get dressed then; we have to have breakfast before we leave."

I had put my dressing gown back on in the bathroom. I watched as Madam Rougier sat down in the armchair again. Ignoring her presence, I collected my clothes and made to walk back into the bathroom.

"Where are you going, girl?" she asked in voice one might use for a very small child.

"To the bathroom," I replied.

"With your clothes?"

"I'm not changing in front of you. That is invading my privacy."

Madam Rougier rolled her eyes. I wanted to tell her that eye-rolling was not at all lady-like in my opinion.

"Very well, you impertinent brat, I'll leave. But you are to meet me in the breakfast room in five minutes with your travelling cloak."

"I will, Madam," I said in a sweet voice. It was so unlike me to use such a voice, but being around someone like Rougier made me want to use it.

The governess glowered at me as she closed the door behind her. She knew I was purposely holding something over her. She didn't know if I was close to my father...or how quickly I could go running to him and complain that the governess had said I wasn't naturally beautiful. I had no intentions of telling my father anything of the sort, though I didn't think he would be happy to hear that a governess had been insulting his pureblood daughter. Imagine if word got round to the other pureblood families...Rougier's name would be mud for insulting the daughter of such a highly respected pureblood man.

I joined Madam Rougier in the breakfast room five minutes later. Father wasn't there and I wasn't bothered enough to ask where he might be.

I was careful to sit down properly and demonstrate all the lady-like qualities Rougier based her sad life around. I didn't hide my surprise so well when I looked down at my breakfast.

Sitting in the middle of my plate was one strawberry and two cherries. There was also a glass of water.

"Is this it?" I asked, indicating my plate.

"One is never so rude about whatever one is served," said Madame Rougier primly, tucking into her porridge.

"Shouldn't one be served a more nutritious breakfast?" I asked, keeping the mocking tone from my voice.

"You have a nutritious breakfast. You have to maintain your figure," she replied airily.

"Excuse my interference in regards to my own diet, but this will not maintain my figure, it will reduce it further."

"Do not speak again, unless I give you leave to," said Madam Rougier, looking anywhere but at me. "If you continue being rude to me I will leave discipline matters to your father."

Evil hag.

I ate my strawberry and cherries, feeling quite dour about the day ahead of me. I detested the thought of spending the day with such an airhead.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o

"Ah, Madam Rougier, long time, no see!" cried a stout witch when we entered Witchly Wonders Beauty Salon in Preston Parade forty minutes later. She had a platinum blonde perm and wore frilly mint and apricot robes. She looked like a Pavlova.

"Hesta! Lovely to see you, my dear!" said Rougier, planting a kiss on each of Hesta's cheeks.

"And who do we have here?" asked Hesta in a high voice, as though I was a small dim-witted child.

Rougier placed a hand on my shoulder. "This is my lovely young charge, Miss Armilla Snape, Hesta. I am fortunate to be serving Aurelius Snape, by being governess to his daughter."

"Oh how lovely!" exclaimed Hesta, clapping her hands together. "You are a very lucky young lady, Miss Snape, to be in the care of such a remarkable woman. Zita and I have been friends for years!"

"Yes, Ma'am," I replied quietly. I wanted to disagree, but beauty salons were one of the best places for overhearing gossip and I knew my father would hex me to an inch of my life if I was heard rubbishing someone in public. Automatically though, my esteem for Hesta had plummeted upon hearing that she was actually friends with the wretched woman beside me.

"Armilla needs to have her nails done," crooned Rougier, patting my head like I was some sort of doll.

"Certainly," said Hesta happily, indicating for me to follow her.

I sat down at a table holding numerous potions for manicures and many bottles of nail polish. It wasn't really my scene...I had always been feminine, but not to this extent. I didn't like being 'improved'.

The first ten minutes proved to be such a dreary affair. Rougier and Hesta ignored me completely as Hesta set about doing my nails. I just watched, bored out of my brain. Things only became slightly more interesting when the seat on the other side of me was suddenly occupied by another lady also intending to have her nails done. She seemed about the same age as Rougier. Her flaming red hair hung in a loose braid down her back and everything about her seemed the height of elegance. She fixed the three of us with a warm smile as she sat down.

Hesta returned the smile, as she would have to any of her customers, but Rougier merely nodded, clearly not knowing who this woman was.

"Dear me," the woman said, taking out her wand. "How lucky that I'm in a beauty salon. I just broke a nail as I sat down." She pointed her wand at her nail. "Reparo."

Hesta let out a high laugh and Rougier turned away, clearly thinking that such conversation was not to be permitted when introductions had not been made.

I felt something like a light breeze rush past me and I turned in surprise, only to find that it came from the woman sweeping her robes into position as she put her wand away.

Rougier turned back, staring at the woman, her face full of confusion.

"I know you," she said mildly. "But alas, I cannot place you."

"Of course you do," the woman replied politely. "I am Mary Donahey and you are Zita Rougier."

Slight comprehension dawned on Rougier's face.

"Mary Donahey?" she repeated. "I do know that name. From years ago..."

"Does Claude-Christian School of Dance ring a bell?"

Rougier's face broke into a wide smile.

"Of course! Of course! Oh Mary! Forgive me for not remembering right away. How could I have forgotten?" Rougier suddenly seemed delighted to be in Mary's company.

"Forgiven," said Mary at once. She turned to Hesta. "Zita and I learned dancing together in France when we were quite young."

"Mary was a champion dancer," Zita said, smiling fondly at Mary. "The best ballroom dancer there ever was!"

"Oh, no," said Mary, shaking her head, though there was a small smile on her pretty face.

"You're too modest, my dear," Zita chirped happily. "It's been so many years, my friend!"

"Indeed it has," Mary agreed, holding out her hands as a woman sat down opposite her to give her a manicure. "Tell me, Zita, what has been happening?"

"I am governess to this young lady beside me," said Rougier, nodding in my direction. "Armilla Snape."

"Snape?" repeated Mary, looking at me with the highest level of respect. "Do you mean that this is the daughter of Aurelius Snape?"

"She is," Rougier replied. "You know of the Snape family then?"

"Oh, of course! A well respected pureblood family. I had heard that Aurelius recently discovered that he had a daughter. What an honour for you Zita, to be serving Aurelius Snape!"

Well, there went my esteem for this woman too. She had seemed more promising to me than Hesta, but now she seemed just as much of a dolt.

"It is, it is," Rougier drawled, "But what about you, Mary?"

"I am still a dancer," said Mary, smiling again. "In fact, I teach ballroom dancing to girls just like Miss Snape here."

"How funny!" Rougier breathed, placing her hand over her heart. "That is exactly what I was going to be teaching Armilla this afternoon! Of course, I am no professional at dancing but..." She looked at Mary hopefully.

Mary suddenly looked very interested in me. "Can you dance?" she asked.

"Well enough," I said. I had learned to dance for the Yule Ball the year before.

"Excellent. I have time this afternoon, Zita," said Mary, directing her gaze back to my governess. "I would be happy to practise with Miss Snape."

"Oh, that would be wonderful!" Rougier exclaimed. "Mr. Snape will be so pleased to have his daughter taught by a professional dancer."

Yay for me. A professional dancer. Do fetch the Champagne, for I anticipate joyous celebration.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Over lunch that afternoon, Rougier barely contained her excitement as she told my father about my dance teacher.

"Excellent!" said Father happily. "How fortunate that you and your friend crossed paths, Zita."

The two continued discussing the joyous occasion and I kept my silence (which was expected of me) as I ate my small portion of pumpkin soup and brown bread.

"And you, Armilla," said Father, turning to address me instead. "I hope that you will express your gratitude to Miss Donahey for giving up her time at such short notice to teach you."

"Yes, Father," I replied quietly. I had been occluding constantly all day, but felt really down in the dumps anyway. I wanted to go home.

"And has Armilla been a good pupil to you, Zita?" Father inquired, turning back to the governess.

My eyes met Rougier's for a moment. She was dying to tell Father that I had been rude a couple of times. But my look must have told her that if she gave me away, I would make her name mud by telling Father how she had insulted me.

"Armilla is a delight to teach," she responded in a small, but nevertheless very clear voice.

"I am glad to hear it," said Father at once, turning slightly in his seat to give me a hard, warning look.

I occluded hard and looked back at him with a passive expression. "Madam Rougier is a good teacher, Father," I said. No, she's not actually. She's a horrid, ugly, old toerag.

That seemed to satisfy Father enough to stop paying me any attention. And so lunch went on once more with me practising my silence skills.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

At precisely three o'clock that afternoon, I was called from my 'remembering insane and utterly ridiculous facts from ludicrous, racist books' session to join Mary and Rougier in the ballroom. I hadn't even known there was a ballroom until Jiffy led me there.

"Ah, there you are, Armilla," said Rougier sweetly as I made my way into the room.

"Good afternoon, Miss Snape," said Mary brightly.

"Good afternoon," I replied. I didn't care how cheerful the woman was, it wasn't a good afternoon to me. I wanted to go home. Yes, I was in a bad mood. I didn't have a lot of right to complain. I had only been here a couple pf days, but I was sick and tired of being treated like a walking doll that needed a new brain.

"Come and stand here by me," said Mary, grinning broadly.

I complied, doing well not to drag my feet. I wouldn't have put it past Rougier to embarrass me by making me practise walking in front of Mary.

"Excellent," said Mary, as if I had just achieved an amazing feat. Really, I was quite an extraordinary doll. It was a shame that I didn't come with my own box.

As Rougier backed away to watch from afar, Mary suddenly became uncomfortable.

"What is it, Mary dear?" asked Rougier in a concerned voice.

"Well...I don't want to appear rude or anything..."

"No, no my dear friend!"

"Well, the thing is, Zita...I like to work alone."

"Alone?" Rougier raised an eyebrow.

"Well, forgive me, Zita, but I'm a bit temperamental when it comes to my art."

Rougier looked surprised. I just wanted to roll my eyes...but no, that wasn't lady-like.

"And so," Mary went on, taking out her wand and waving it around as she spoke. "I need to be able to concentrate on Armilla alone, without an audience if she is to reach her full potential."

Rougier suddenly looked a bit dazed. "Right you are, Mary," she said, inclining her head. "I will make myself scarce...be good, Armilla."

She backed out of the room, looking quite peaceful and happy.

As soon as she was gone, Mary waved her wand and muttered a locking spell and sound-proofing charm. Watching her, I became alarmed about this stranger. Why was she locking us in and sound-proofing the room?

Turning back to me, Mary sighed.

"Thank goodness she's gone," she breathed. "Quite unbearable isn't she?"

"Erm..." was all I said. Weren't the two women friends? Had I missed something?

"You know," Mary continued, "Severus was highly doubtful about letting me do this, but Albus convinced him."

My eyes widened in shock. "How...do you...?"

Mary laughed. "I must admit, I thought I might be a bit too clumsy for the role...Severus was quick to point that out, I must say."

Clumsy...hang on...comprehension had finally arrived.

"Tonks?" I whispered.

The woman smiled as she began to transform. A moment later I was standing in front of a very familiar face surrounded by a mass of brilliant pink hair.

"Wotcha, Armilla," she said brightly.

"Tonks," I said again, scarcely daring to believe it.

Tonks looked me up and down. "You're putting up with a great deal here I must say," she said. "I met your father when I arrived." She paused to pull a disgusted face.

"I know," I whispered. I was still occluding hard. "This has to be a dream."

"It's not a dream, Armilla," said Tonks, smiling sadly. "In fact, I'll prove that it is me you're talking to. Ask me a question that only I would know the answer to."

"Alright," I said. "What hair colour did you once recommend to Merle and where were we when you suggested it?"

"Hey, that's two!" said Tonks. "You're certainly Severus' sister. Well, let's see...I told Merle that she'd look great in violet...and we were standing in the kitchen of Merle's house when I suggested it."

I smiled. "Correct."

Tonks looked at me closely. "If you weren't occluding so hard I would say that you would have snapped by now."

"You can occlude?" I asked.

Tonks shook her head. "No, but Severus told me that you would be occluding."

"Oh," I said, looking away. For some reason, hearing his name put a pain in my stomach.

Tonks reached out and pulled me into a hug.

"You can stop occluding for me, you know," she said softly.

I shook my head. "No, I can't," I murmured. "I've gotten this far, I can't break it now."

"The stress from all this is making you exhausted, Armilla," said Tonks seriously as she released me. "I don't want to go back to Severus saying you look ill."

"Then don't," I said simply. "He knows I'm not enjoying this. There's no point in complaining even more...it's not his fault."

"No," said Tonks thoughtfully. "But you know what kind of man your brother is, Armilla. He can see through anyone. He'll want from information from me."

"Was this whole thing his idea?" I asked.

Tonks shook her head. "No. Actually, he contacted Albus about you leaving the manor with that stupid woman. He was furious about your father letting you out with her. Albus suggested that you be followed."

"Ah," I said, giving a small smile. "That's why we met you in the beauty salon this morning."

Tonks inclined her head. "I looked like a Mary Donahey, didn't I?"

I laughed. "So how did you make Rougier think you were friends?"

Tonks grinned. "Albus taught me a particularly complicated spell," she said. "With a subtle wave of my wand, Rougier was mine. I had never met the woman, but now she thinks we're best buds!"

I suddenly remembered feeling something like a breeze pass me in the salon that morning. It must have been Tonks' spell.

"And Severus didn't want you doing the job?" I asked. "A little too clumsy?"

Tonks poked her tongue out. "Severus wasn't keen at all for me to do the job," she admitted. "I am determined that nothing can happen to you while I am here, Armilla. Severus will have my head otherwise...he cares about you, you know."

I nodded, feeling the pain in my stomach again. "I know."

"But I haven't been too clumsy today, have I?" Tonks went on. "Quite passable in fact."

"Yes, certainly," I said smiling. I was so glad Snape had been talked into allowing Tonks to come. It was like having a little bit of another world in the house with me. Someone from my world.

"Now," said Tonks, looking serious again. "You do know how to dance, don't you?"

I nodded.

"Good," she said, looking thoroughly relieved. "Because I have two left feet and can't dance at all!"

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

I went to bed that night in a much happier mood. Father had invited Tonks to stay for dinner and he had been so impressed with 'Mary Donahey' that he invited her to the dinner party the following evening. Tonks had accepted his invitation with much enthusiasm, though I had just wanted to give her an apologetic look. Tonks had gone on to inform Father that she now considered dance a private artform, and so she would not dance the following evening - she would just take pride in my performance instead. Father had laughed at this and had assured Tonks that he was certain that I would be the best dancer there. Ha...no pressure then...

After dinner, while Tonks and Rougier had sat in one corner of the library drinking tea, I had sat in another, memorising a book again. I couldn't help being embarrassed when I was tested on everything by Rougier in front of Tonks. Tonks had looked politely interested the whole time, but secretly I knew she couldn't believe what I had to do.

Father had come in on the last question, which Rougier had deemed correct. He had decided that I hadn't given enough information on the last answer and commanded that I memorise two more chapters before bed as a result. He took out his wand and waved it to pick up another book, but I knew this was only in pretence. He had also subtly flicked his wand in my direction and I had felt something in my side quite similar to the pain that he had created on the back of my right hand two days earlier. This time it had been more intense though. He had been angrier this time. The sudden pain in my right side had made me grab onto the desk for support. Rougier and Father hadn't appeared to have noticed anything, but Tonks had been staring at me with a grim expression.

I had gotten through two more chapters with a bit of difficulty, because the pain had been much more severe this time. I knew Tonks had been watching me closely from her corner and it had made me all the more determined to succeed. Father hadn't returned and Rougier had considered all my answers to be correct. She had sent me to bed without another word.

I had said my goodnights and raced upstairs to heal myself. It had taken several attempts to heal it properly...it was hard to heal something you couldn't actually see. Father must have prided himself on his invisible injuries hexes. I wasn't even sure if I had healed it properly.

I remained happy though because I had seen Tonks. And I would see her again tomorrow. I had been dreading father's dinner party the following evening, but knowing Tonks would be there reduced my anxiety.

Though I was happy, I was terribly hungry. I had been given a small amount of tomato soup for dinner - different to what everyone else had eaten - and the taste had told me that it was very low fat. I had a small frame anyway - If Rougier was going to be my governess in the summer I was likely to fade away into nothing at this rate. I wanted food!

I stayed awake for many hours, paranoid that Rougier would come up to check that I was sleeping, like she had done the night before. Sure enough, around ten-thirty, she peered inside and I pretended to sleep.

I didn't contact Snape for another half hour, again out of paranoia. I was so tired though...and I didn't feel well. Tonks had been right - though I hadn't been here that long, I was already exhausted.

Four sleeps...I'm certainly ready to leave.

So I hear. I've just been speaking to Nymphadora Tonks.

Seeing her was a nice surprise.

I am glad to hear it. I was not so glad to hear about your current condition.

What's wrong with it?

Ah, you're going to play it that way I see. Apparently you look as if you are not sleeping well at all, you are not being given proper meals and Father attacked you in the library after dinner (not so subtly I might add, his age might be making him lose his touch).

...

Well, Armilla, do you have anything to say about any of this?

I have been sleeping alright.

Then it's probably stress.

I can't help what I'm given to eat. I'm not allowed to talk to Father unless he initiates a conversation. If I complain-

-Yes, I know what he'll do...something along the lines of what he did in the library.

...

Armilla?

...

Armilla, answer me at once.

I couldn't help it. Snape seemed annoyed about the entire situation and I was frustrated that I couldn't fix it. All the emotions I was feeling from the past few days were threatening to override my guard. I didn't feel well at all...and I wanted to go home. If Snape had walked into the room at that moment I would have cried in relief. So much for having felt happy only moments before. What a mood swing.

Yes?

What's the matter?

I can't fix any of this. I can't help when I sleep or what I eat. I don't know how to make things right-

-Armilla, listen to me. It is not up to you to make things right. All you need to concentrate on is getting through each day. You've done well so far. You'll have Tonks with you tomorrow night and after that it won't be long before you come back to Hogwarts.

He was right. I knew he was right. I occluded harder than ever to keep my emotions at bay. I still didn't reply. All I wanted to say was that I wanted to go home, but that seemed a bit pointless right now.

Did you heal yourself?

Yes.

I still didn't have much to say. I just wanted to cry that I wanted home more than anything else.

You're concentrating on occluding at the moment, aren't you?

He didn't miss a trick, that man. He knew that I was upset.

...Yes

...

...

If I could come and sit with you right now, I would.

That did it. I let a tear fall.

But I know you can get through this. If you could get through finding out that I was your brother then you can get through anything.

I muffled a small laugh. I put my guard back up again, feeling slightly happier.

And before long, you'll be back here and we can rubbish Father's name together.

I smiled.

I'll look forward to that.

Then that's settled. No need to set a date, I'm happy to abuse his character at any time of any day.

Including during Potions?

...Perhaps not...that's your time to concentrate and my time to lament the abysmal potion-making skills my other students possess.

I'll need to find some time to think about hexes to use on the governess.

I'll join you in that. I have many suggestions in fact. Tonks told me that Rougier complained to her that you weren't naturally beautiful...so I have a whole range of creative hexes I'd like to try out.