Armilla

Chapter 21

I went straight to bed that night without talking to anyone. I pretended not to see Lisa and Terry in the corner of the common room as I passed through on the way to my dormitory. I was overtired, but I knew I wouldn't sleep. I had loads of neglected homework and so I drew the curtains around my bed and worked by candlelight.

It was 12:30 am when I finished my Transfiguration essay. Pushing all my work to the foot of the bed I laid down on top of the sheets, staring at the canopy above me, but not really seeing it. Again, thoughts were crashing into each other in my mind. I kept trying to convince myself that it was pointless to let fear for my father build up inside me because that would make it worse. But then I kept thinking of the concerned faces of Dumbledore and Snape and I got that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I wanted Merle back. I was missing her so much it was making me feel sick. When I had problems, she always had a way of making things better. We always shared our deepest thoughts and feelings with each other, things I wouldn't even share with my friends. Like Snape said, keeping things inside and bottling them up only made them seem bigger. But I couldn't imagine going to Snape and confiding in him all my fears and worries over a cup of cocoa in the middle of the night. The thought of that happening was laughable. Merle had been my mum, though I had never used that name for her. My real mother's spirit was currently residing in a magical ring in Dumbledore's office and I knew Dumbledore wanted to have everything finalised before I went to her again.

I had never been the weepy sort of person to lay awake feeling sorry for myself. But with everything as it was at the moment, I found it extremely hard to drift off. Sleepless nights seemed to be common with me now and I couldn't ask for a sleeping potion from Madam Pomfrey because Umbridge would have to know about it. If I went to Snape for a sleeping potion he would demand to know what was going on in my head that was preventing me from sleep. And so the hours slowly drifted by, and by the time 7:00 am came I had only gotten about three hours restless sleep.

Though feeling groggy again, I got up in a very determined mood. The sooner things were done the better. I told Lisa and Terry at breakfast time to keep their lunch hour free so we could go for a walk through the grounds. They both looked surprised, but didn't ask questions. I believed they thought I had been quiet because I was still grieving for Merle.

All the way through double Charms, Transfiguration and Defence against the Dark Arts I kept rehearsing the conversation I would have with my friends in my head. Terry would make a joke, and then I would laugh and say "Hey, speaking of funny, would you believe Snape is my brother? Ha!" or I could say "Behold, fair friends! I will now be the most feared student at Hogwarts, for I am sister of Snape." Erm...no...that wouldn't do at all.

When lunch finally came, the three of us dropped off our books in our dorms, got some sandwiches from the Great Hall and went outside.

At first, Lisa and I listened as Terry recounted the story of Harry Potter's latest run-in with Umbridge. Then we laughed as the Giant Squid attempted to scoff bits of a sandwich that Lisa threw to it. We walked along for a while finishing our lunch, occasionally making remarks about the lessons we just had and stupid things other students had said, or something about the professor. Finally we settled under a tree by the lake and Lisa spoke first.

"Armilla," she said, staring at me fixedly. "You know you can talk to Terry and I about anything you know."

"Anything," said Terry.

"I know," I said, looking at each of them.

"We understand that you've been through an awful lot in the past few weeks and it will be awhile before things...get better." Lisa looked uncomfortable.

"What we're trying to say," said Terry, smiling, "is that at any moment of the day, we're here for you whether you want us or not."

I laughed. "Well, that is encouraging."

"You've been really quiet since you've come back and we put that down to Merle," Lisa continued. "Do you want to talk?"

I regarded them both. Lisa looked earnest, leaning forward slightly to look at me. Terry was sprawled on the grass, but was still gazing at me seriously.

"I do want to talk," I said.

Both looked relieved straightaway and Lisa leaned forward further.

"Not about Merle though. I mean, she is still on my mind constantly, but there is something else that has been occupying most of my thoughts for the past few days."

"What is it?" asked Terry, sitting up.

"Well...I wasn't staying with Matilda while I was away. I was in another place that I can't tell you about because Dumbledore has forbidden me to."

I told them about the events after Merle's death with Shar and the attack and Snape finding me.

"Oh!" said Lisa, looking stricken, "of all the people to find you it had to be Snape. Oh Mill, you poor thing!"

"I hope that Shar guy was dealt with though," said Terry anxiously, "and you're alright now, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am." I said distractedly. "Shar was dealt with, but that isn't what I was leading to. That's only a small part of what I have to tell you."

Lisa and Terry and Lisa exchanged worried looks.

"In the place where I was, I found this magic ring that had the spirit of a dead woman in it, Hazel Merrigan."

"Never heard of her," said Terry.

"Neither had I," I said. "But as I found out, Merrigan is a pureblood wizarding name."

I told them the story Mother had told me.

"Interesting," said Terry, lightly. "Her circumstances kind of connect to yours when you were a baby."

"Exactly," I said, giving him a significant look.

Terry and Lisa's eyes widened.

"You...you found your mother?" Lisa whispered.

I nodded. Lisa moved forward and pulled me into a hug.

"But she's a spirit," said Terry, softly.

I let go of Lisa, nodding. "Yep, she's dead."

"Oh Mill," said Lisa, taking my hand. Terry took my other hand.

"Does Dumbledore know? I mean, were you able to prove you were mother and daughter?"

I gave a small bitter laugh. "Oh yes, we proved it eventually. As it turned out, only a blood relative could open up the locket on my bracelet with a simple Alohomora spell. When opened, all the names of the women in my family who have worn the bracelet appear and my name was on the list, as well as Hazel Merrigan's." I paused.

"But that means," said Terry slowly, "for you to know that, a blood relative must have opened it for you. So you do have a relative who is alive."

"I do," I said.

"Well? Who is it? How did you find him or her?" said Terry, earnestly.

"I think my mother would have told me, but Snape caught me at that point."

"Snape? God, you do seem to have bad luck being caught by him all the time," said Lisa, gruffly.

"Did he confiscate the ring?" asked Terry, looking grim. "Or did he give a cheery hello to your mother?"

"The latter," I said. "But I wouldn't call it a cheery hello. It was a more surprised hello Mother". I waited for the ball to drop.

Lisa started coughing and Terry stared at the air in front of him.

Finally, Terry spoke. "I think I misheard. I thought you said that Snape said hello to his mother."

"That is correct." I said, staring at him.

"But," Lisa piped up, having got over her coughing fit, "I thought you said she was your mother."

"Also correct," I said.

Both gaped at me. "Snape's my brother," I said simply.

"No," they said in unison.

"Yes," I said, "and we proved it too. He opened my bracelet and my real name appeared on the list."

"Your real name?" Lisa repeated, "meaning Snape?"

"Yeah. Lucia Snape."

"Whoa!" Terry jumped up. "This is huge. This is...Mill, I can still call you Armilla right?"

"Yes, well that is my name," I said defensively.

"Snape? Snape?" Terry repeated, looking positively appalled at the thought.

"You're Snape's sister..." muttered Lisa, more to herself than anyone else.

"The Head of Slytherin's sister...Geezes, Armilla!" exclaimed Terry, turning around to face me. "I mean, man, you're Professor Snape's sister."

"How did Snape take all this?" asked Lisa softly.

"Well, he was...shocked to put it lightly, as was I though."

"So is he going to be your guardian or something?" asked Terry, looking anxious. "That's a creepy thought."

Lisa looked at me silently, waiting for me to speak.

"Well, Dumbledore got involved and at first it was agreed upon that I would live with another family, but Snape would still have some responsibility."

"What sort of responsibilities?" said Terry sharply, as if the idea offended him. "Ha! Responsible for making you're life hell, Mill?"

"No, of course not. Actually I think Snape will be trying to stop my life from being hell."

"How is that possible?" asked Lisa, looking sceptical.

"You mean he's promised not to give you a T in Potions so he doesn't look bad?" said Terry sarcastically, punching the air.

"No," I said heatedly. "He will be helping me survive living with my father."

They both froze.

Terry opened his mouth and then closed it again, apparently at a loss for words. Lisa's eyes had widened.

"Your father?" she said. "I didn't even think that he might be still alive."

"I certainly didn't," I muttered. "But Dumbledore's been attending meetings at the ministry to fight for a joint custody between Snape and my father so that I wouldn't have to suffer him all the time. From what Dumbledore and Snape say, he isn't the nicest man...to put it lightly."

"Oh that's terrible!" exclaimed Lisa, taking my hand again. "Of course you'll need Snape then. He might not be that supportive of you though...but we're here for that, aren't we Terry?"

"Sure," Terry replied. "Your Snape's sister, Mill. You'll need all the help you can get."

I punched him lightly. I didn't really feel in the position to defend Snape too much - I didn't know him that well either. But I certainly didn't run him down to my friends.

"I think I will need your support over the next few months," I said nervously, playing with the grass in front of me. "Everything will be finalised on Saturday and Snape's taking me to meet my father on Sunday."

Terry groaned. "Oh Mill," he said. "I'll never complain again..."

"Oh yeah, and as of Saturday, my name will be Armilla Lucia Kemp Snape," I added with a resigned smile.

Lisa groaned, looking positively appalled.

"No, not the git's name too!" Terry slapped his forehead dramatically.

"Terry!"

"What? Do think it has a good ring to it, Lisa?"

"I dunno. Armilla Snape. Terry, our best friend is a Snape!"

"Yeah, I am," I laughed, pushing them away. "And if you two don't watch it I'll use my Snape name to make your lives hell!"

Lisa stuck her tongue out and Terry gave a deep bow saying "Your Royal Snapeness."

We spent the rest of the hour laughing and joking about school again. The subject of Snape kept finding its way back in, but I felt so relieved at my friends support and acceptance. I smiled all afternoon, and it was a real smile. It was a bit of happiness that I hadn't felt in a long time. I kept smiling all the way to the dungeons that night, only faltering when the subject of Snape's talk came into my mind.