Lazy, Hazy College Days

Hannah Abbott - works full time at library and shares accommodation with Hermione, who she loves but annoys the hell out of her, is easily bored, and got kicked out of college for arguing with her tutor. Says she had 'legitimate' reasons for arguing with him. No one believes her. Hangs about with Lavender.

Terry Boot - Intelligent and sturdy roommate of Michael Corner. Taking 5 AS levels. Always there with his famous logic when things go completely mad. Which is good for Michael.

Lavender Brown - Taking a course in Hair and Beauty. Always doing strange things to her looks. Is good friends with Hannah, Ginny and Eloise. Puts up wit Pansy for Eloise's sake. Refuses to pose for Dean's paintings, whether it's 'for the good of human art' or not. Works part time at the local hairdressers with Eloise, and shares college accommodation with her. Is rather dotty and blond. Even though half the time she isn't actually blond.

Michael Corner - Feels he is the token Ravenclaw. Even though they're not actually at Hogwarts any more. Honest and hardworking and... completely mad. Loses his point much of the time and needs Terry to put him back on track. Shares chef duties at 'The Hidaway' with Ernie, which accounts for the inconsistent standards of the food. Is failing an engineering course. Badly.

Seamus Finnegan - Eccentric Bass guitarist for the 'Saints and Sinners'. Works part time at 'The Hidaway.' Shares a room with Neville and is always trying to get him to live a little. Taking three AS levels, including one in performing arts. Is usually hyper and must be kept away from blue Smarties, coke, sugar, anything with E numbers in, and especially banana milkshake. For his own good. And everyone else's.

Hermione Granger - Taking 6 A levels a year early, works part time at the local library. Shares accommodation with Hannah Abbott, who she thinks is a bit of a rebel and secretly envies. Is completely oblivious to Blaise's affections.

Neville Longbottom - Works at local pet store. Taking GNVQ course in animal management. Timid, which is unfortunate as he shares college accommodation with Seamus.

Luna Lovegood - Lied about her age to get into college. Is taking 3 AS levels, Psychology, Greek mythology and Philosophy. Shares college accommodation with Ginny. Vaguely thinks that her philosophy teacher may be an alien. That doesn't bother her in the slightest. Is trying to hold a waitressing job down at 'Dana's'. Has slight crush on Ron but knows it will never amount to anything.

Ernie Macmillan - Is a bit of a mystery, and the envy of many boys on campus, for he has half the female population lusting after him. Shares chef duties at 'The Hidaway' with Michael. His cooking is considerably better, although no one likes to tell Michael. Is taking an advanced course in Food and Beverages. Is passing with honours.

Draco Malfoy - Taking 5 AS levels. Has off premises accommodation. Is still in contact with his father, and yes, he's still a malicious sod. Is jealous of Hermione for her intelligence. Not that he'd ever say anything. His challenge nowadays is trying to rile a seriously more chilled out Ron.

Eloise Midgen - Taking the same Hair and Beauty course as Lavender. Usually to be found in her room with something alcoholic. Spends her free time at 'Dana's'. Works part time at the local hairdressers with Lavender, and shares college accommodation with her. Is good friends with Luna and Ginny as well as Pansy, who she has known since childhood and convinced Lavender to let her stay on their couch.

Theodore Nott - Shares college accommodation with long time friend Blaise Zabini and is beginning to become slightly worried about how much time he is spending in the library. Is taking the same course in engineering as Michael, and is the main reason that he's not been kicked out yet. Affable to his friends, not to anyone else, and does not sodding fancy Seamus Finnegan. Not one bit. Not at all.

Pansy Parkinson - Is currently kipping on Lavender and Eloise's sofa. Trying to find a place of her own in the near future, although she'd never admit it, she actually likes living with the girls. Is also friends with Luna, although not so much Ginny. Taking 3 AS levels in mathematics, media studies and photography. Has her eye on Draco, not that he knows it.

Harry Potter - Ron and Hermiones best friend, is currently taking AS levels in English language, English literature, business studies and sociology. Is still worried about Voldemort and the wizarding world. Shares college accommodation with Dean Thomas, who in truth, he thinks is a bit of an arty weirdo. Is an amateur writer in his spare time, which makes him just about enough money to live.

Zacharias Smith - Ron's obnoxious room mate. Is taking a critical thinking course, along with 2 AS levels. Works as part time bar staff at 'Dana's'. Always bringing home girls and then buggering off, usually leaving Ron behind to pick up the pieces and console the girl. Refuses to give up his magic and mainly uses it to get Ron into awkward situations.

Dean Thomas - Taking A levels in art and design, ceramics and the history of art one year early. Has serious disagreements with his art lecturers, mainly about the subjects of his projects. Is very much into contemporary art and football. Mostly mixed together. Shares college accommodation with Harry, who in truth, he thinks is a bit of a nerdy weirdo. A typical teenage arty boy. Always trying to convince Lavender to pose for his paintings, which she quite rightly always refuses.

Bill Weasley - Has come back from Egypt to work in Gringotts. Comes over occasionally on orders from Mrs Weasley to check that Ron and Ginny are all right. Usually brings food for Ron and a howler for Ginny.

Charlie Weasley - Is doing a two-year in depth study on the types and numbers of wild and captured dragons in Britain. Seems to find himself becoming more and more like the 'Saints and Sinners' band manager in his spare time every day. Will soon ask Ron for pay if it continues. Currently living at Grimmauld Place with Tonks.

Fred Weasley - Comes round occasionally to take the mickey out of Ron and generally annoy Zacharias, the latter of which suits Ron fine. Also manages to pick up a different college girl each time, which manages to annoy George. The business is doing well.

Ginny Weasley - Lied about her age to get into college. Is currently doing an advanced course in Fashion and Design. Does not like her tutor one bit. Thinks that she is a show off. Shares college accommodation with Luna. Also has a part time waitressing job at 'Dana's' and is fed up with having to convince Dana that Luna is a good worker just a bit, well... loony sometimes. Is also fed up with the weekly howlers from her mother about leaving home and lying to get into college. Thinks that the drummer for her brother's band is hot but he has warned her off him. She has no idea why. He is also forever trying to set her up with Neville.

George Weasley - Always showing up at Ron's or Ginny's to annoy them. Has a slight crush on Luna but would never tell her, because he knows that she likes Ron. Is fed up with Fred's obsession with college girls. Deals with financial side of 'Weasleys Wizarding Wheezes' and doesn't like to tell Fred that business isn't doing as well as he thinks it is.

Percy Weasley - Also comes over occasionally, usually to give Ron advice or help him with his subjects. Also tries to convince him that being in a rock band is not a good idea. Is currently working for the Ministry of Magic and living in a flat in Diagon Alley with Oliver Wood.

Ron Weasley - Lead singer and guitarist for the 'Saints and Sinners'. Is taking AS levels in music, chemistry, history, physical education and resistant materials. Three of which he has to share with Draco. Which annoys him. A lot. Is fed up with Percy trying to give him advice on girls, as both Percy and he are gay. He has only told Harry, Hermione, Zach and the guys in his band this so far. What he doesn't know is that that means Hannah, Terry, Lavender, Michael, Neville, Luna, Ernie, Draco, Eloise, Theodore, Pansy, Charlie, Bill, Fred, George, and Ginny know. Is slightly apprehensive about asking Charlie for so much help with the band. Knows that Luna has a crush on him and that he should really stop her, but it's too nice to have someone liking him. Has warned Ginny off Blaise because he knows Blaise likes Hermione. Works at 'The Hidaway' and feels more and more like he is running it as Roger puts in more time at his other cafes. Is too apprehensive to sack Michael even though Roger has asked him to. Seems to be responsible for accidental outbursts of magic, and cannot control it.

Blaise Zabini - Drummer for 'Saints and Sinners'. Long time friend and roommate of Theodore. Or 'Theo' as he calls him. Works as bar staff at 'Dana's' with Zacharias Smith, who he doesn't generally mind, but is forever chastising him about his womanising. Taking 3 AS levels. Has dropped out of one. Has a slightly worrying obsession with Hermione and is forever visiting the library.

Dana Alistair - Owner of 'Dana's' the coolest club in town, where several students work, and 'Saints and Sinners' has been trying to get a gig at forever.

Roger Hudson - Owner of 'The Hidaway' - café where most of the student population work and hang.

Ron - Should've, would've, could've.

We should've seen it coming. When we got that letter from Dumbledore asking us to come to Hogwarts two weeks before term started, we might've guessed something was up. But we didn't, and we happily trotted off to school wondering if it was over how many NEWTs Hermione had tried to take, or how couldn't find anyone teach DADA and would rather have Harry teach than Snape. Ok so I was responsible for the last one, but we still didn't have a clue. When we walked into the great hall to see the whole of fifth and sixth year in there though, most of our theories went straight out of the window. I can still remember the speech Dumbledore gave us.

~ Begin Flashback ~ The Great Hall.

"I wonder what all this is about. Any ideas Harry?"

"Nope, none Ron, but we'd better shut up, Dumbledore looks like he's about to talk."

"Ahem, Ladies and Gentlemen? I'm sure you're all wondering about why you are here? Well, I have somewhat of a proposition for you all. Those of you who are from muggle families, and those of you taking Muggle Studies, will know that when muggles get to the age of 15 or 16 they leave school and may start out on a new venture called college. Now these colleges are basically the same idea as school, but they have much more leniency and treat the students more as adults than children. My idea is that we send all fifth and sixth years to college for two years, as somewhat of an extended field trip for those studying Muggle Studies, and just as a general trip for those who aren't."

Immediately the hall was filled with furious murmuring and yelling, thousands of questions being asked at the same time. Dumbledore raised his hand until there was something that people would vaguely recognise as quiet.

"Now if you may let me, I think my next few points will answer any questions, and those that I do not answer may be asked at the end. All the preliminary planning and organising will be settled for you. Your OWL results will be transferred into the relevant muggle exam results, and any queries that the colleges have will be addressed to me. We will be placing you in several colleges across the country, but we will try and keep friend groups together. You will need to attend the enrolment to choose the courses you wish to study, which will be in roughly seven to ten days, depending upon the college. You will get an owl in approximately two to three days telling you which college you will be placed in and when the enrolment is, when the college starts etc. Those of you in fifth year who are not sixteen by the end of this year will be given a false ID, which will include basically the same details as your normal one, except your birth date will be a year earlier. Those of you who wish for us to find you jobs in the nearby area; there is a list here for you to place your names on. Those of you who do not wish for us to find you a job will need to find one by other means, for you will need to pay for things. Which brings me, incidentally, to accommodation. Those of you who wish the college to provide accommodation; there is also a list, which Professor McGonagall has. I will warn you however, if you choose this route, you will be expected to share a room with another student of the same sex. If you do not, you will need to find accommodation elsewhere, as apparation will not be tolerated. Which reminds me, NO MAGIC is to be used in the two years you are there. Anyone who breaks this rule will be dealt with by the Ministry, which is something I have no say in, and they will not be lenient. You will be living as muggles for two years. Those of you who are worried about NEWTs, I can assure that whatever qualifications you get during your stay will be converted back into the appropriate NEWTs. Of course, some of you may wish to stay and work in a muggle profession, in which case I wish you all the luck in the world. The maximum number of subjects you may enrol for is five, although four is the generally accepted amount, and there is no shame in taking three. Sometimes one course will account for three subjects, such as vocational courses in engineering etc. Anyone wishing to discuss their subjects will have to talk to their tutors on enrolment day. You may have contact with your families during this period, but by non magical means only, so some of you with wizarding families may wish to take the next two weeks to teach your parents how to use a telephone, muggle postal system etc. Any questions? Yes Mr. Malfoy?"

"What if we refuse to go?"

Dumbledores face hardened. "You have no choice in the subject, Mr. Malfoy. I wrote letters to the parents of all the students involved and I have all their consent. And as every child here is under seventeen, your parents are still the people with the final say. Any other questions? No? Good. Now before you go, I will need to see Mr. Weasley, Mr. Potter and Miss Granger. Do not forget to sign up for accommodation or jobs; Professor McGonagall has both lists. Expect your letters in two to three days and if within four days you still have no letter, do not hesitate to owl me. Now I wish you all well, and hope that you do well in your exams; A levels I think the muggles call them. Do not work too hard; remember that this trip is also for the experience, not only the grades. Enjoy yourselves and I will see you all on graduation day, in two years time. Good luck to you all."

"Did you believe that Hermione?" Harry asked her as she bustled over to us through the crowd.

"Not a word," she replied, shaking her head. "Why would the ministry put in so much effort for a simple school trip? And plus, it's never happened before, the furthest we've been in muggle studies so far is Edinburgh. There must be another reason."

"And I will be glad to tell you if you'll just step this way Miss Granger." God, I hate it when Dumbledore does that. "But before we go, will any of you require accommodation or jobs for the trip?" Me and Harry nodded, Hermione muttered, "Just the accommodation please Professor, and I'll find my own job."

"Very well, your names will be added to the list. Now if you'll kindly follow me?"

He led us to a quieter corner of the hall that the students were beginning to filter away from, walking instead towards the end that contained both forms and Portkeys.

"The main reason for this trip," Dumbledore was saying, "is that the Professors and I think, to be quite frank, that these years have had to cope with far too much already, and they need a well deserved break. However, it also has several other benefits. One of them being that it will teach the students how to interact with muggles much more closely and more easily. Another desired effect is to get the two major target years away from the school and spread out, in case of an attack."

"But what about Voldemort?" Harry asked as I flinched. Bloody hell, I wish he wouldn't say his name.

"Well I'm glad you asked me that Harry. We will give you your two years at college, and then summon you back to the wizarding world. Any time after that without an attack will be looked upon as a blessing and used as tutorage time. Understand?"

We nodded. "Good, well I suggest you get back home to begin packing and other such things. I bid you farewell and the best of luck."

And with that, he was gone, striding quickly to the other end of the hall, leaving us in silence.

~ End flashback ~

So that's how I came to be stuck in this tiny dump of a flat, with possibly the most annoying flat mate in history, save for Draco Malfoy. Of course Harry was at the Burrow when we got our letters, so we were overjoyed when we were all at Kings College. I just presumed that I'd be sharing a room with him. He's currently fifteen doors down the hall, sharing an equally tiny flat with Dean Thomas.

It's not that it's a bad college, in fact it's really nice, almost new and set in the small seaside town of St. Austell in Cornwall. It overlooks a really sandy beach, and when the summer comes it's going to be great. The trouble is that not only do I have to share my room with the completely obnoxious Zacharias Smith (you remember, the really annoying one from the DA meetings?), I also have to share my history, chemistry and music lessons with Draco Malfoy. Absolute nightmare. Even though he doesn't get on my nerves that much any more, even though he tries to. No, really, he doesn't.

The enrolment was funny enough. It was a really hot, sunny day at the end of August and none of us actually wanted to be there. The list of subjects issued out to us was a laugh in itself. I had no idea what any of them were, and went mainly on luck. History, well I knew what that was, and if we didn't have Binns teaching us I thought that it might actually have been interesting. Music, well very few people know but I can actually play an instrument. Not many people choose to continue at Hogwarts, and I think Seamus is the only other Gryffindor who actually plays any sort of instrument. Chemistry, I hate to admit it but it sounded a little like potions, and anything recognisable was good. PE, well, Dean had taught me enough about football and I played Quidditch enough to make that a breeze. Resistant Materials, I went on the basis that I've always been good with my hands. And voila, you get five subjects.

The band, well that came about through accident and pure Seamus-ness. He, of course, got the number of his room wrong whilst I was helping him move in, and we walked in to find Zabini lugging a great heavy drum kit into his bedroom. Me and Seamus had always wanted to start a band, but couldn't find anyone to play the drums. We asked Zabini, he said yes, we eventually found the right room and Saints & Sinners were practising the very next evening. We've been trying to get a gig at Dana's, the local club, for weeks now, but so far Luna, Ginny's and even Blaise's careful persuasion hasn't helped. We will keep trying though.

I think everyone's settled in quite well actually. Hermione's loving it of course and surprisingly so are Neville, Ginny and Dean. Hermione is working at the library all the hours that god sends, and I feel pretty much that way as well. Which reminds me, I really should sack Mike. The trouble is, until Ernie can work full time, or until we can find someone else, he's the best we've got. Roger doesn't seem to realise this though, and in fact he also doesn't seem to realise that Mikes cooking is getting better. Slowly. If you haven't realised by now, Dumbledore managed to get most of us lot jobs at 'The Hidaway' which is our local café and place to hang. If we're not working that is. The evenings are spent at 'Dana's' either chilling, or in the case of Blaise, Zach, Ginny and Luna, working. God only knows how they managed to get jobs there, most of them didn't know what muggle money was until they got there, let alone how to add it up.

So I think that's about it for our predicament at the moment, which is good because Zach's yelling to me whether I want jam or butter on my toast. He can be all right. Sometimes.

Ron - Zach is still a complete and utter arse.

So I stumble into our matchbox-sized kitchen, probably looking like I've had less sleep than I should have, which is true. Zach's sat at the breakfast bar with two plates with toast on and two cups of coffee sat in front of him, those big dark brown eyes staring up at me, lost under a sea of straw coloured hair. Damn if he wasn't my room mate, an obnoxious prat and, most importantly, completely straight, I'd jump him right then and there. Unfortunately he's all of the above and more, so I just smile and say, "Jam please, and did you make me coffee that's drinkable?" as I curl my leg round a barstool and pull it up to perch on.

"You mean coffee that's drinkable to a normal person, or coffee that's drinkable to you?" he replies, waving the jam covered knife about dangerously.

"Drinkable to me, and watch that damn knife, you'll take someone's eye out with it."

"Yes, it's drinkable to you, black, no sugar, and no milk. Although how you can drink it like that bugger knows." He places my toast in front of me as he gets up. "Now eat up like a good boy; I'm going to go have a shower before you use it and the water goes cold. Oh and by the way," he calls as he grabs his wash bag and towel and walks to the bathroom door, "if a pretty looking, dark haired girl shambles out of my room any time soon, give her something to eat and tell her I'm not in. Cheers."

"Not again Zach! You little..." The bathroom door slams. Bugger the fact that we have a lock on our bathroom. And bugger the fact that all Zach's conquests so far have been so mild. If he ever finds a girl with a temper half as bad as mine she'll kick his damn arse. And I'll stand there and watch and laugh. Or perhaps I'll join in.

I'm just entertaining the thought of standing by the sidelines yelling, "Fight, fight, fight!" when I hear someone walk towards the doorway. I turn around, curious as to what 'Zachs latest' looks like. She's pretty, like he said, but then they always are. Tanned skin, dark curls and dark eyes, I'd say that she had some Spanish in her blood somewhere. She's wearing a shirt that falls halfway down her thighs, she must've got it from the ironing pile, it's red, one of mine. She yawns, raising her arms above her head in a stretch.

"What time is it?" she asks, grabbing both a stool and Zach's half eaten toast. "Eurgh, Marmite."

"Half eight," I reply through a mouthful of jam.

"Too early," she mutters. "And where's, erm... Zach?"

"He's gone out." I continue quickly, just in case this one does have an explodable temper. "But look, I don't really think he's ready for a relationship now, he said that he's just looking for some fun right now, you get me?"

She snorts. "You've done this before haven't you?"

I nod wisely. "Just a few times. But I must say you're probably the prettiest out of them so far." The bathroom door opens. Thank god I said that before Zach came out.

"Cheers. Hey, I don't suppose you fancy going out some time do you? I mean if you don't have a girlfriend or anything?" She smiles. Damn she's pretty, you know, if you like that sort.

"Oh, no, I don't have a girlfriend," She smiles again, "but no, I erm... I don't... I... oh bugger." I take a deep breath. "Oh no, I'm not -"

"He's a pouf," Zach calls form his bedroom. I'm going to kill him.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Zacharias Smith," I mutter and she giggles. "But unfortunately I'm afraid he's right, I prefer dates with a little less chest and hair than you have, no offence."

"None taken," she replies affably. "But if I'm not very much mistaken you take Music up at Kings' right?"

"I thought I recognised you!" I say, nodding. "I'll tell you what, how about some breakfast? I work up at the Hidaway up on City road and I'm due in for my shift in twenty minutes. I'm sure I could get Michael to rustle you up some of his famous pancakes, although you'll need to nick some of Zach's jeans, mine would be too big. So what do you say?"

She looks apprehensive and I sigh. Bloody girls. I won't bite. "Look, I'm still starving, you're still sitting there with no trousers on and Zach's still a complete and utter arse. You'll get some of the strangest pancakes this side of the country, and I'll even let you keep my shirt. It looks better on you anyway. Deal?"

She smiles and nods, although that may be from the "Oi! I heard that!" that just came from Zach's bedroom than the lure of pancakes. But still, it was a nod.

Thank god for that.

Seamus - Pancakes, Timing and Crushes.

So I was standing behind the counter when Ron shambled in, having just opened up, cleaning the counter. I watched as he took a pretty Spanish-y looking girl through to the kitchen, and listened to him asking Mike if he'd make her his famous pancakes as a favour to him. Mike's pancakes were actually pretty good, apart from the fact you never knew what they were going to have on them. Mike seemed to go with whatever his mood moved him to use. He won't be giving me olive and chocolate ones again any time soon though, I can tell you.

Ron wondered in through the back entrance to the kitchen, tying his green coloured apron behind his back as he went.

"You are," I looked at the clock, "exactly seven minutes late Mr. Weasley," I reprimanded. "What 'appened to your punctuality?"

"I was consoling Roana." He pointed out to the kitchen where the girl was eating her... unusual pancakes.

"'The arsehole's' latest conquest?" I don't much like Zach, as you can tell. He treats girls like they're not human.

"Uh-huh. Lovely girl, the nicest so far. In my music classes. Gotta bit of a temper on her, this one. Zach's lucky I got her out when I did. In fact, I'd do her myself if I weren't ever so slightly bent."

"Agreeing with ya whole-heartedly there mate. Although if I were straigh' I'd treat her a hell of 'lot better than Zach 'arse of the century' Smith. It must be hell only those closest to you knowin'; you must 'ave to be so careful." He nods. If only he knew just how many people actually did know about his sexual orientation he'd fall off his chair with shock. Well he told Blaise didn't he? And Zach, which is a death sentence in itself.

"She's unlucky to have met Zach though, although I hardly think he'll break someone as sensible as her."

"He most definitely ain't broken 'er, if the way she's gettin' on with Mike is any indication." I nod towards the hatch, where I can see her laughing loudly at a joke Mike's just told and eating her, erm, cheese and chocolate syrup flavoured pancakes with what looks suspiciously like enthusiasm. Eurgh. Ron turns to look and then grins. I suddenly notice the time and motion towards the clock to Ron. "Hermione's late. Wha' the 'ell 'appened?"

"She's not actually," Ron says, eyes diverted to his watch. "Your clock is actually fifty seconds fast. Five, four, three, two, one-"

The bell jingles and Hermione walks in. I smile. Nine fifteen on the dot, every Saturday and Sunday. Leaves at nine twenty-five exactly, work at exactly nine twenty-eight, starting at nine thirty. If you can't rely on Hermione being punctual, you can't rely on anything.

"It's too quiet in here," Ron mutters into my ear, waving at Hermione. "I'm going to go sort out the music. Be back in a tick." I nod.

"Hi, Sea."

"Hey 'Mione."

"Two slices of toast with jam and-"

"A cappuccino, one sugar, no milk," I finished for her, grinning at the shock on her face. "Come on Mione, you've ordered the same thing for two month now, if I didn't know wha' you wanted by now, what sorta staff would I be?"

She giggled as I handed her her cappuccino. "Not a very good one! Oh, hi Ron!"

"Hey Mione, how're you?" It's only then that I notice the music blazing out of the speakers. Eurgh, it's too early in the morning to hear Ron sing, even if it does help sell records. I leave them to their small talk as I serve until Hermione leaves, exactly nine twenty-five. I don't even bother to look round as I call "Bye Mione!" across the counter and get a similar response.

Five minutes later I'm just finishing the first bout of washing up for the day when the bell jangles and Blaise walks in closely followed by Charlie, one of Ron's brothers. Can't remember where he comes in the age order. He's one of the older ones I think. Doesn't really matter.

"All right Zabini?" I ask Blaise. We've never really call him by his first name; we don't see him that much. He's always off with his roommate, Theodore or some other pansy-like name. Which is saying something coming from someone called Seamus.

"Fine. You, Finnegan? Weasley?" We both nod and then look at each other. Blaise is acting weirdly, hopping form one foot to the other. Kind of like I get when I'm within ten metres of banana milkshake. Which is unfortunate seeing as I work with it. "You'll never guess what," Blaise spurts out suddenly. We look at him questionably. "We managed to get Dana to agree to giving us a gig at her place!"

"No kidding!" yells Ron, childish excitement as abound as Blaises. I feel like the only sober one here, and that is a very, very rare occurrence. "How in the name of buggery did you manage that?"

"Got Charlie to ask. Seems Dana has quite a crush on your brother here." He gives us a devilish grin. "So you owe him one."

"Of course," Ron mutters nodding at Charlie who grins. "But if we're talking about crushes Zabini, you just missed Hermione."

I blink. I blink again. I blink several times. "Hold on, am I missing summink here. Zabini has a crush on our Mione?" Ron nods happily. "You're kidding? That's so great!" I go off into raucous peals of laughter.

"I happen to think she's very mysterious," Blaise mutters, looking murderously at Ron.

"Aye, that she is," I snort.

"Shut the fuck up Finnegan. If you lot are quite finished, I'm going now, seeing as I don't have to work today unlike some people."

And with that he stormed out of the café, Charlie following closely with a huge grin and a wave.

"Was it something I said?" Ron asks, a look of innocent shock on his face, although the grin totally gives him away.

"Don't take it personally mate," I splutter through bursts of laughter. "But I think it was."

He has the complete nerve to look offended.