Under the Moonlight

Under The Moonlight: Chapter 2

The next two weeks buzzed by. He was very curious about the part of the job that she hadn't told him about. Although he loved books and could spend all day in a bookstore sifting through them, he was hoping she had something more interesting in mind than stocking shelves and directing customers to different areas of the store.

As he opened the package containing the robes that morning, he'd found she'd also included a box of chocolates. A small smile spread across his face. He put on one of the black robes which fit him surprisingly well. He caught the morning paper in the Leaky Cauldron; not much news today either. As he stepped out into the morning sun, he found it ironic that he had accepted a job at Flourish and Blotts. He'd always found the place clean and well lit, but the help seemed a bit stuffy, at least when he was back in school. Perhaps he'd see them differently as an adult. He walked in the back door as she had instructed and found the staff already gathered. She casually introduced him to everyone and set about giving people their tasks for the morning. After sending them on their way, she hung back with Remus.

"I'm so glad you could join us. I do hope you like it here. The staff are really nice and helpful, don't hesitate to ask them if you have any questions." She continued on telling him about lunch breaks and where the restrooms were, but he was more focused on her eyes--deep brown, honest, open. "Do you have any questions?"

"Ahh-" he said awkwardly, drawn back to the moment. "No, no, not yet. Please continue," he cleared his throat. Had she caught him staring at her?

His assignment for the day was to stack shelves with incoming book (she had given him a couple of books for practically each section of the bookstore--so he could learn his way around he was sure), get familiar with their cataloging system, and

have at least one conversation with all of the staff members.

"Does that include you?" he kidded.

"Indeed," she had said, "Be in my office at noon for lunch."

He laughed at her forwardness, not sure if she was serious or not.

The staff members were indeed easy to talk to and were helpful in showing him where all of the books went. By noon, he had done as she had asked and stopped by her office.

"Ready for lunch?" Her ready smile caught him off guard.

"I didn't think you were serious."

"Of course I was serious."

Her smile was infectious and he found himself returning it. He liked to see her brown eyes light up with laughter, her warm smile coaxing out one of his own. It suddenly dawned on him that the world didn't seem like such a lonely place with someone like Raiyna in it.

***

The following Monday morning, she cornered him after the staff meeting. "So how do you feel about your first week at Flourish and Blotts?"

"Couldn't be better," he said nonchalantly.

She glanced at him skeptically, "You're not bored out of your mind yet?"

"Well, truth be known, I do feel a bit underutilized."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it."

The laughter in her voice brought a bemused expression to his face.

"Meet me at noon in my office, there's something I want to show you."

The mysterious ring to her voice left him with a sense of anticipation. After sorting and shelving books, magazines, and newspapers all morning, he was glad to see noon roll around.

She led him from her office to a stack of boring, old books about Muggle lifestyles. Arthur Weasley would have loved this section, he thought sadly to himself. But instead of stopping there, she led him behind the shelves. He had now thoroughly learned every nook and cranny of the store, or so he thought. There was a narrow passageway that led, quite unexpectedly, to a curtained off area.

"With me so far?" she called back.

There was only room enough to transverse this alley single file. "Still here."

She pulled back the curtain and led him into a quite spacious room with comfy-looking, overstuffed chairs, small round tables, and bookshelves and posters lining the walls.

"Welcome to The Library," she said, sweeping her arm around the room in a dramatic gesture that spoke of pride.

To his surprise, everything in the room was about werewolves. Books lined the walls: The History of Werewolves, Myths About Werewolves, The Wizarding Community and Its Prejudice Against Werewolves, How to Cope with Lycanthropy, Lycanthropy in the Wizard World, Where the Ministry Went Wrong: Anti-Werewolf Legislation and Registration, Werewolves Past and Present. Posters hung like banners from the ceiling; posters on the signs and symptoms of transformation, the phases of the moon, helpful herbs and home remedies. He couldn't believe his eyes.

Raiyna pulled a small silver book with a picture of the full moon on the cover from one of the shelves. "My aunt wrote this shortly after Ben got bit." She flipped through the pages so he could see the pictures: a full transformation from boy to wolf and back. "It's a bit out of date now, but we are working on updating it." She placed the book back on the shelf. "Over here," she pointed to a shelf full of small boxes, trinkets, glass bottles, and food mixes, "is Aunt Ameranda's collection of items she's developed." She pointed out the Lemon-AID mix and the Morning After Rejuvenation Stew. "Along with the old standbys like the Wolfsbane Potion and Lunar-Ease tea of course."

Remus scanned the shelves amazed. "I had no idea all of this stuff existed."

"Well, we keep it pretty hush-hush. There's just not a lot of support out there for the werewolf community and my aunt used to catch a lot of flack for helping people with this medical condition."

It was one of the few times that he had heard lycanthropy referred to as a medical condition. He was more used to things like "dangerous creature," "monster," "half-breed," or other more derogatory terms.

"Emily, who you haven't met yet, works this room around the full moon. Ben, of course, had your schedule."

Remus caught the tentative, questioning look on her face but he was too stunned by what he saw to respond.

"Please, have a seat. I've brought lunch so we can talk."

He sat in one of the overstuffed chairs and picked up a sandwich from the platter.

"Florean Fortescue's finest," Raiyna added.

"I thought they only sold ice cream."

"Oh, they've branched out, but I couldn't pass up the ice cream drinks to go with our sandwiches," she smiled. "One is strawberry, one is chocolate. Take your pick. I like them both."

He reached for the chocolate one; it tasted as good as he remembered from his school days.

"So, what I really wanted to hire you for was this. You see, word travels fast, and people come here from all over the wizarding world to check out our supplies. We have owl-order as well. Aunt Ameranda isn't making a fortune on any of this, she sells it just above cost, but it's her life's calling she says," she paused, chewing a bit of sandwich. "And she's more committed now than ever since Ben's passed on. She reckons she might have been able to save him with a spirit-lifting potion or something if she'd had more time."

Remus watched her intently. The more he got to know her, the more amazed and intrigued he was by her.

"Anyway, that's neither here nor there. The real reason I brought you in is this. Plenty of bite victims don't have anywhere to go. The information they get from the Ministry is very negative and hopeless."

"Downright harmful if you ask me," Remus said, a touch of anger in his voice.

She nodded in agreement. "As I'm sure you are aware," she said gravely, "the suicide rate among werewolves is outpaced only by Azkaban inmates. However, in the last five years or so, Barney Mingstrom has been covertly working from within the Ministry to direct anyone requesting information on lycanthropy to "The Community"--a network of witches and wizards who are tied in with better, more up-to-date information. In the end, many of those bite victims end up here, looking for hope, understanding, support, and most of all, solace. Many of them are children whose parents are frightened. Some are adults who grew up with the negative images so prevalent in the wizarding world. All of them are in need of good, accurate information."

Remus looked on in awe at how much things had changed since he had been bitten so long ago.

"My hope is," she continued, now looking at him both intently and with anticipation, "that you will be willing to work with these people and see them through this difficult time. You have all the resources here at your fingertips, and any others you can find I'd be more than happy to stock. If you are up to the challenge, I'd like you to spend this week learning everything you can about what's in this room--reading the books, studying the potions, learning which concoctions are used for what, reading owl mail order so you get a feel for our clientele. Emily, the woman who works this room during the full moon, is very nice. You'll like her, she's the motherly type. She'll be in on Monday and Tuesday to show you the ropes. I haven't told her anything about you; I leave that to your discretion."

After a short while, Remus found his voice. "Raiyna, this is incredible! I wish there had been resources like this when I was a child--it would have made things so much easier..." He looked into her eager brown eyes, and said with determination, "I would be honored to carry on the tradition." Raiyna's smile was radiant. If he didn't know better, he'd have thought she'd lit up her eyes with her wand.

"Oh, I forgot to mention. Take any of the potions or food and try it, free of charge. I want you to be knowledgeable about our products so you can describe their effects to our customers, tell them what works best for you, things like that."

The second week passed much quicker than the first as he immersed himself in all of the literature and concoctions filling the shelves. I definitely have to meet this Aunt Ameranda woman, he thought to himself.

At the end of the day on Friday she swept into what she affectionately called "The Library." Remus was intently studying a potion that was supposed to relieve muscle aches after transformation. "Are you free tonight?" she asked. "There's someone I'd like you to meet."

Remus was a bit apprehensive about dinner that evening. He wasn't keen on spending time with people he didn't know. To make matters worse, Raiyna wouldn't tell him who they were meeting. A surprise and you'll be pleased were the only hints she would give him.

They wound their way up the cobblestone path of a tiny cottage. Raiyna knocked gently on the door, and let herself in. A small witch with white curly hair came bounding out of the kitchen, "Wonderful, dears, you're here! I was so excited when you owled to let me know you were coming for dinner. You must be Mr. Lupin. I'm Ameranda. It is a pleasure to meet you!" Remus extended his hand to the woman who was practically bouncing up and down when she shook it. "Please, please, come in! Sit down! Have some tea!"

Remus watched the woman buzz around the kitchen, singing merrily and charming the china to fill themselves with tea. She must have been at least seventy years old, but she acted like an energetic teenager.

Raiyna leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Isn't she great?"

He nodded, a smile involuntarily crossing his face as he watched her.

"I think she's developed some secret energizing potion for herself, but she'd never admit it."

They both laughed.

After spending the evening with Raiyna's energetic aunt, Remus had an idea where Raiyna got her vivaciousness from. As they left the cottage together, he was still laughing at Ameranda's antics. If he didn't know better, he'd have sworn she was trying to play matchmaker between the two of them. He had the urge to put his arm around Raiyna as they walked, but he resisted. As they turned to go their separate ways, there eyes met for a moment as they bid each other farewell.

Her and Remus, together, alone. Her heart was racing.

"I think we better get you to the hospital wing. That wrist looks sprained if not broken."

His words were warm and comforting and he was talking to her of all people. She was still gazing speechlessly into his eyes.

Just then Peeves appeared out of nowhere, "Skipping class, skipping class, I'm going to tell."

"Peeves, we are NOT skipping class. Why don't you go tell Madam Pomfrey we're on our way to see her."

"Ooohh... somebody's hurt. That's always jolly good fun!"

Remus rolled his eyes as Peeves zoomed off, and not in the direction of the hospital wing either.

She watched in awe as he picked up her books and parchment, packed them back into her bag, and swung it over his shoulder.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" she finally asked.

"Yes and no. I was on my way to see Madam Pomfrey as well."

She noticed for the first time just how tired and ill he looked. "For what?" she asked.

"Oh, just to pick something up."

He put his hand on her back to motion her toward the hospital wing. His touch, although brief, sent shivers up and down her spine. The weakness in her knees returned.

***

When Remus arrived for work on Monday, he was surprised to find a plump, older woman dressed in hot pink robes in the werewolf section. "Can I help you?" he asked as he walked in.

"Oh! Goodness gracious you startled me, child!" She looked at him for a moment and then stuck out her hand. "You must be Mr. Lupin, it's very nice to meet you. I'm Emily Eaton. I was just tidying up. Have you had a chance to look through our collection?" she smiled proudly.

"Indeed, it's excellent," he said with sincerity.

"Thank you!" Her eyes beamed as if he'd given her a direct complement, "I do think so myself."

Raiyna was right, she was quite motherly. She fussed over the cuff of Remus's robes which had turned upward; he would never have noticed. She insisted he try some of the mulberry muffins she'd made, after all, a skinny boy like him needed to eat more! She blushed easily and never stopped talking, not because she liked to hear herself talk, but because she was so friendly and bubbly she couldn't stand to see another person looking uncomfortable. After listening to her most of the morning, he decided she was perfect for this job. She could put anyone's mind at easy, even a horror-struck mother bringing in a child who'd just been bitten.

They had lunch together and Remus asked casually, "So, how is it that you came to work here?" For the first time, he saw a glint of sadness in her eyes. He suddenly realized what an intrusive question he'd just asked. "Mrs. Eaton, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking--"

Emily regained her composure with record speed, "Oh, dear child, don't be sorry! I just thought Raiyna would have told you. But I should have known better, she is very respectful of people's privacy. And please, call me Emily."

Remus watched as Emily sat back and closed her eyes a minute as if remembering. When she leaned forward again, she looked eager to tell her story. "Well, my son and his son, my grandson, were hiking in the woods near dusk. Little Billy, my grandson, was at that age where he liked to play hide and seek in the woods. He'd run just slightly off the trail and Bill, my son, would chase him. Billy ran behind some trees to hide when Bill heard him scream. He ran after him, and found Billy crouched down holding his bloody arm and crying. 'I tried to pet the doggy.' 'What doggy?' 'That doggy,' he said, pointing to a wolf that had slunk up behind Bill and had started growling. Bill grabbed Billy and tried to run, but the wolf lunged at him and sank his teeth into Bill's shoulder. Luckily, they were able to get out of the forest after that."

"They outran the wolf?" Remus asked in disbelief.

"No, it turns out the wolf had taken ill. If he hadn't been, I dare say my son and grandson probably wouldn't be here today. Sadly, they found the wolf, then man, dead the next morning. They think he was attacked by another animal due to his weakened state."

Sadly? he thought to himself. She was sad that the werewolf had died?

"It was a frightful state of affairs. The information they got from the Ministry was terrifying and very discouraging. His wife stayed for awhile, but I think she just couldn't stand to see them in such pain. It is very painful, transformation that is, and I think it drove her slightly mad to see what her husband and son went through each month. I think she was scared too. At any rate, she left. So now it's just the two of them."

Remus watched her intently. He sat perfectly still, his hands clasped in his lap, trying to maintain his composure, trying not to give anything away. He was paying particular attention to his breathing, willing it to stay even and calm.

"You know," she remarked, looking thoughtful, "It's a good thing it happened to both of them."

A good thing? Is this woman insane? Remus was relieved that she hadn't seemed to notice the appalled look that crossed his face at this comment.

"It is remarkable, actually. They have each other. Each month they transform together, their own little pack of sorts. They play and frolic together. And like the rest of the month, father still protects son. In the early morning hours before sunrise, they curl up together and sleep, awaiting their transformation back."

That he understood. He remembered running wild with Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail. He remembered bounding through the Forbidden Forest, playing under the full moon, Prongs and Padfoot keeping him in order, keeping him safe. There had been no greater feeling of companionship and acceptance than having his friends with him when he was a wolf.

"How do you know all of this?" he asked cautiously. "Surely you can't be with them when they transform."

"Oh, no, but Bill charmed a crystal ball to record one of their transformations. They wanted to see it for themselves. They wanted to see what happened to their bodies and how they acted as wolves. Especially little Billy. You know, boys his age are so curious, so full of wonder. Afterwards, they showed me some of the parts of them together as wolves. It was incredible to see them like that, so close, so bonded."

Emily went on to tell him how it had become her goal in life to educate people about werewolves and to disseminate positive, enlightened information to the werewolf community in hopes of making the world a better place for people like her son and grandson.

Remus sat back amazed. This was the first time he'd ever heard anyone speak about his kind in such a generous and loving way. She found their condition intriguing and remarkable, not monstrous and horrifying. She accepted her son and grandson for who and what they were, and remained a part of their lives, every party of their lives, including the wolf parts.

Under The Moonlight: Chapter 3

There were still three days to go before the full moon. Spring was fast approaching and Remus was working in his garden. Ameranda had given him a list of plants to grow for making herbal teas. She promised it would help him feel even better during the new moon phase of the month. As he sat on the stone wall surrounding his garden intently studying a seed packet for Moonflowers, a sweet, familiar scent filled his nose. His senses were always heightened before the full moon. He looked up in time to see her walking towards him. A familiar warmth always seemed to spread through him whenever she was near.

"Hi Remus."

"Well, hello, I wasn't expecting you," he said, slightly surprised but happy to see her nonetheless.

"I was going to send these by owl," she said, handing him a package, "but I needed to get out, so I thought I'd deliver them in person."

He opened the velvet sack to see an assortment of items that Ameranda had put together for him.

"We thought you might want to try some of these with this transformation."

Remus pulled them out of the bag one by one, studying each in turn. "Very interesting," he muttered. "I think I'll try these two."

"Remus."

He looked into her now uncomfortable eyes. "What is it Raiyna?"

She was fidgeting with her robes and avoiding his eyes. "Would you mind if I checked in on you after the full moon? Not that you aren't perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, of course. But, I'd just feel better knowing you were all right if you are going to try some of these new things."

"Are you telling me these might not be safe?" He raised his eyebrows in a mocking way.

"No, of course not. I'm sure they are fine. My aunt has been doing this for years."

He looked at her curiously. Why couldn't women just say what was on their mind?

"Suit yourself," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't recall you asking last time." She recoiled slightly, but he shot her a mischievous glance and she laughed.

"Ooh," she said, looking at the Moonflower package. "Have you grown these before?"

He shook his head.

"They are absolutely beautiful! They open to their fullest with the new moon, and sleep through the full moon. They make a wonderful tea as well, especially with a little mint and catnip."

"Well you'll have to make it for me sometime."

"I'd be delighted," she smiled. She hesitated a minute as if lost in thought.

When she didn't say anything Remus asked, "Would you like to join me for lunch?"

He made sandwiches and tea and they sat together in the garden, enjoying their lunch and wriggling their toes in the warming earth below.

"It's very peaceful here, you've done a nice job with the place."

"Well, I haven't had much money to fix up the inside, but I like to spend as much time out here as I can--weather and moon permitting, of course."

She caught his eye again. He forgot about the sandwich growing cold in his hand. For a moment they were locked in the same space and time, connected in a way he hadn't been with a woman in a very long time.

This was her only chance. She had to ask him. They were almost to the hospital wing. If she didn't do it now, she never would. "Remus, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

She noticed that he was trying very hard to match her uneven stride. "Well, I was just thinking-- I mean, I was just wondering-- well-- if-- if you were planning on going to the-- ah-- Yule Ball-- with anyone, of course." Her face was burning. She felt him staring at her but she didn't dare look up.

"Uhhh..." he stammered.

"Oh, I'm sorry, it was silly of me to ask, I'm sure you've already got a date." She was so embarrassed she wanted to run away. She hung her head even lower and started walking faster. She couldn't believe what a fool she'd made of herself.

Suddenly she felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

"Raiyna, wait."

She stopped, her face red and hot.

He stepped in front of her and lifted her chin to look into her eyes. "Raiyna, I can't go to the Yule Ball."

She looked away quickly, tears of embarrassment filling her eyes.

"But if I could go, I'd have been more than happy to go with you."

She stared at him in awe. He, Remus Lupin, would go the Yule Ball with her, Dotty Blotty, if he could. She wished he could. He was still smiling at her. She felt light all of a sudden, like she might just float away. His eyes were so alluring, and for the first time, she noticed his lips. Soft, pink. What would it be like to...

"Dear child, what happened to your wrist?" Madam Pomfrey's voice bellowed. "Remus, you'll find what your looking for in my office, help yourself."

Remus handed Raiyna her schoolbag and walked in the direction Madam Pomfrey had pointed. Raiyna looked after him helplessly as Madam Pomfrey led her away.

"Well," she said abruptly, "I'd best be getting back. They'll be wondering where I disappeared to." She brushed his shoulder with her hand as she left the garden, "I'll see you soon."

He smiled and leaned back against the rock wall, letting the sun warm his face. For once in his life, he was actually looking forward to this transformation, because he'd see Raiyna shortly thereafter.

***

He wasn't feeling particularly well on the eve of the full moon so he decided to forgo trying anything new just yet, other than the chocolate drops which he'd been taking every day since she'd visited him after his last transformation. He felt the pull of the moon as strong as ever, and instead of focusing on the prickling sensation in his skin and the painful tearing and stretching in his muscles and joints, he tried to focus on Raiyna. As the wolf emerged, he lost all conscious thought.

In the morning he felt groggy and stiff. His limbs felt as though they'd been twisted into positions they didn't belong. It occurred to him that the morning after a transformation felt quite like getting the tar beat out of you the night before. To make matters worse, he was sure he was spiking a fever. He felt cold and shaky. Although he'd managed to pull his robes on for warmth, he was too tired to get off the couch and make the Morning After Stew. By the time the afternoon sun was shining through his window, he'd completely forgotten that Raiyna was even coming. He was alone again--the man and the wolf. He was running in the forest, his legs pushing him faster, his paws dancing agilely over the ground as he went. Suddenly he stopped. Something wasn't right. Trees were cracking and crashing to the ground all around him. The earth was shaking, he was shaking.

"Remus, REMUS, wake up!"

The haze lifted slowly as he looked groggily into frightened brown eyes. Raiyna was kneeling in front of him, one hand on his shoulder, the other hand resting on his forehead.

"Remus, what did you take?!?"

He didn't know what she was talking about.

"What did you take, Remus, please, it's important that you remember. Did you take the Wolf-eez?"

Oh, that, he remembered. "No, I- I didn't take anything. I wasn't feeling very well--like maybe I was coming down with the flu or something. So I didn't take anything."

"Well that was smart. Even so, you're burning up. We need to get your temperature down." She conjured up a small basin of cool water and a stack of towels, sponging his face and forehead. "Have you eaten?"

He shook his head. His eyes were burning and the world was spinning again.

"I will fetch you some stew, can yoouuuuuu doooooly laaa looouuuliii..."

Her voice sounded desperate but he could no longer understand what she was saying.

He was in the forest again, the trees were crashing down, pinning him to the forest floor. He couldn't get out from under them. He thrashed around, trying to fight them off. "NO!" he shouted, his eyes were open and wild.

"Remus, please, wake up. It's okay. No one is going to hurt you."

When he finally awoke, he realized that his fists were clenched around her robes. She looked frightened. Had he been shaking her, fighting her?

She must have seen the stricken realization of his actions cross his face because she put her hands over his then and held them there, "It's okay Remus, you didn't hurt me."

He looked away, knowing that he very easily could have. His breath was coming in short, shallow bursts as he struggled to remain conscious.

She sponged his face with a cool cloth. "What were you dreaming about?"

He just shook his head, too weary to speak and not quite sure he remembered anyways.

"You need to eat, Remus," she coaxed gently as she scooped bubbling stew into his mouth.

He was so tired he just wanted to sleep. He tried waving her away, but she was persistent. "You know, I think I'll be fine if you just let me sleep it off, really."

"You do, do you," she said, her voice betraying that she didn't put much faith in his proclamation.

"Do you mind if I use your fireplace?"

He shook his head. Through half open eyes, he could see her leaning into the flames, talking to someone.

"Do you have any Mertlap syrup?"

He considered this. If he did, he wasn't sure where it was. He shook his head.

"What about onion juice?"

He nodded. "In the kitchen."

She promptly got up and came back with a pink colored drink. "Aunt Ameranda says this should help bring down your temperature."

Although it tasted bitter, he drank it graciously, squinting only when he was finished.

"Sorry, no time to improve the flavor," she smiled weakly.

She took the glass from him and just looked at him, waiting he supposed. He closed his eyes again and felt her hand gently stroking his hair.

He was in forest. It was clam and quiet. The earth had stopped shaking and the trees stood tall and strong again. And he wasn't alone anymore. A feeling of serene contentedness washed over him as he curled up under the moonlight, Padfoot and Prongs lying on either side of him.

He didn't wake again until morning. He was in his bed. He remembered only vague bits and pieces of the night before. Raiyna had come, hadn't see? Or was that just a dream? He slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room. On the bedside table he saw a large glass of Lemon-AID and a cauldron full of bubbling stew. And there was a note.

Remus,

I hope you are feeling better when you awake. Your fever broke around 4am. I had a meeting first thing this morning. I will be back to check on you as soon as I can.

Raiyna

Remus lay back on his bed, his hands clasped behind his head. A smile stole across his lips before he could stop it. The sun was filtering through his bedroom window.

When Raiyna returned, he was sitting at the kitchen table with a pot of tea brewing on the stove.

"Good morning."

He took in the relief that washed over her face at the sight of him.

"Thank you for last night. Honestly, I don't remember much of it. I- er- hope I didn't do anything too embarrassing," he said, with a bit more sincerity in his voice than he had intended.

"Well, you'll just never know, will you?" She flashed him that brilliant smile, the one that always sent an odd tingling sensation through his body. That warm feeling was brewing in his stomach. Perhaps it was just the tea.

As he looked at her in the morning light he wondered if she had any idea how beautiful she was. He decided she mustn't have a clue. "Are you free for dinner this Saturday? I'll make you my specialty."

"Hmmm.... And what exactly is your specialty?" she said, raising her eyebrows in a way that made her look like she was thinking naughty thoughts.

He smiled, "Well, you'll have to wait and see, won't you?"

***

Now that he was finally receiving a regular paycheck, he was able to afford more than the menial staples he was barely getting by on. After thinking carefully about what he would prepare for dinner, he bought some budget gourmet foods and managed to find some raspberry swirl cheesecake in a Muggle bakery for dessert, which, he had found out quite by accident, was her favorite. He also stopped by Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions and picked up a midnight blue robe that fit him perfectly on the Only Worn Once rack.

This was, after all, just a friendly dinner, he kept reminding himself as he conjured up a table with floating candles in the garden and arranged a fresh bouquet of Moonflowers he'd just picked from his garden. He was nervous and his stomach seemed to be doing something strange of its own accord. I'm losing my mind, he thought.

Raiyna arrived wearing emerald green robes that made her appear even more beautiful to him than usual. She sauntered over to him, carrying a strangely shaped bottle.

"It's Muggle-wine, it's surprisingly good!" She conjured up two crystal goblets as he led her away from the kitchen and back to the gardens.

"Oh! This is beautiful!" her voice echoed in the warm evening air. As their eyes met, his heart skipped a beat.

"The food smells wonderful!"

"I cooked it myself, I mean, without magic."

She looked at him admiringly. If he wasn't mistaken, she seemed to be trying not to laugh.

"You'd be surprised how much work that is! I don't know how they do it."

She laughed, nodding, "Yeah, I tried it once and your right, too much work!"

For the first time in as long as he could remember, he felt at peace with the world. When he was with Raiyna, nothing else seemed to matter. The stars revolved around her. Her beautiful eyes and her radiant smile were all that seemed to matter. He found himself smiling more, laughing at her playfulness, and just generally relaxing around her. He shook his head at the oddity of it all.

He pulled out her chair for her before sitting down beside her.

"It is a lovely evening, isn't it?" she said, staring off into the stars.

She complimented him on the food all throughout dinner. He tried the wine and was pleasantly surprised.

"I have something for you."

"You do?" she looked at him curiously.

He brought out the cheesecake,

"Oh you found some!" the look in her eyes and the smile on her face caused a wave of warmth to sweep over him, even though a cool breezed had started blowing through the gardens. "How did you know?!?"

He smiled warmly again, "Hmmm... wouldn't you like to know?"

After dinner, they lay on their backs in the grass and watched the stars. As the breeze grew colder, she snuggled closer to him. Instinctively, he put his arm around her. He couldn't remember a time when he felt so contended, so serene.

"Can I ask you a question?" she inquired.

"Of course."

"The other night, when you were with fever, you said something strange to me."

"Oh, did I now?" he said, trying to sound casual but feeling a bit of fear steal over him.

"You said, 'Are you sure you're not an Animagus?'"

A bittersweet smile spread across his lips as he closed his eyes, his body sinking farther into the ground.

She propped herself up on her elbow to see his face more clearly.

"Well, are you?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"No, did you think I was?"

"I must have been reminiscing about my past. He looked into her brown eyes again and felt the compassion they exuded lighten his load. He looked back at the stars before continuing. "It's a long story, but I made some very close friends at Hogwarts. They couldn't understand why I disappeared once a month. They were pretty smart, though, and it didn't take them long to figure it out," a laugh crept up on him that he wasn't expecting. "Anyway, they knew they couldn't be with me as humans when I transformed, so they learned to be Animagi so that they could accompany me on my journey and keep me safe."

She seemed riveted by his words. "So, what happened to them?"

He looked at her briefly, then took his eyes from hers and stared at the sky again. It seemed so long ago now that the tears didn't even come to his eyes. "Oh- well- they were all killed."

He saw the shock of comprehension spread across her face, but before she could tell him how sorry she was, he'd placed his hand gently on the back of her neck and pulled her towards him. When her lips touched his, he felt a jolt of energy surge through his body as if someone had stunned him momentarily and then enervated him again. He pulled away long enough to look into her eyes for reassurance--but there had been no need.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this," she murmured before leaning back into his kiss.

He wrapped his arms around her and felt the smooth material of her robes slipping beneath his fingers. He inhaled her torturous scent and thought for sure he would drown in it. As they kissed under the moonlight, he felt desire swelling inside of him. A desire he had not known in many years--a desire he had not let himself know. He wanted her more than anything and it frightened him. The only other desire he'd felt this strongly was his uncontrollably draw to the moon.

He was falling, fast. He had to get control of himself. He couldn't let this go any further. What was he thinking? It was too dangerous; he couldn't risk it.

As if sensing the change in him, she pulled away slowly. He wasn't sure what his face looked like, but she looked quite shocked by it. She slid off him and straightened her robes.

"Remus?" Her breath danced on his face. "What just happened? Everything was going wonderfully, and then, you pulled away from me. I felt it." She looked like a shy schoolgirl to him just then, looking at him nervously and biting her lower lip.

He sat up and pulled his knees to his chest, willing the strong desire to abate so he could pull himself together. He couldn't look at her any longer.

"Remus, I'm sorry--"

"Oh, it's not you," he said, but she looked even more worried by this statement. He touched her face and felt himself slipping away, promptly pulling his hand back. "Or rather, it is you. I feel very drawn to you right now. I just feel like if we go any further..." he trailed off, not looking at her.

"That you wouldn't want to stop?"

He nodded, feeling a bit foolish.

"And, of course, that would be just terrible, wouldn't it?" Her voice was teasing.

He looked at her and frowned. He couldn't bear to see the look in her eyes when she saw him, saw his body, saw him for what he really was. He looked into her willing eyes longingly. Then, he shook his head as if to break the spell and said,

"Would you like another glass of wine-Muggle, I mean, Muggle-wine?" She looked disappointed for only a moment, and then, much to his relief, took him up on his offer.

"I had a wonderful time tonight, Remus. I do hope you invite me over again soon."

He sat in front of the fire later that evening thinking. He had been so close to making love to her he could taste it. And he wanted that more than anything. He shook his head. Who was he kidding? What kind of life could they have together? But a small voice was whispering in the back of his mind, You of all people need to set an example so that others like you know there's hope. He chased the thoughts from his mind and headed to bed.