Secrets of the Past

Secrets of the Past-Chapter 7

Night was quickly dawning upon the small village as Lily and Terrence walked the streets towards Hogsmeade. A cold wind swept down on them and they quickened their pace towards the pub.

Terrence heard Lily shiver audibly. "Cold?" he asked.

"A little," she admitted and wrapped her arms around herself. He stopped her for a moment and started rubbing her arms to warm them up. The close contact between the two of them caused Lily to blush once more. Terrence could feel her reaction beneath him, and he could see the blush rising up in her cheeks. Nevertheless continued to rub her arms. Finally, he felt her loosening up, he asked, "Better?"

"Much. Thanks," she answered, but kept her eyes averted to the ground. Terrence looked at her for a moment before deciding to walk on. He couldn´t risk his anger coming out on her. That would only push her further away. As he continued walking, Terrence heard Lily pause for a moment before hurrying to catch up to him.

"Something wrong?" Lily asked him innocently enough.

Terrence halted. "Something wrong? Yes, something is wrong, Lily," he snapped. Lily crossed the short distance between them and stopped, eyes continuing to study the ground. He looked at her once more before running a hand through his hair. "Lily, a week ago, you would stand with me contently, my arms around you and we would sit close and just be with each other. Then, just a couple of days ago, you refuse me. Something happened to you. And I want to know what. I don´t like this, I don´t like what you´ve become."

"What I´ve become!" Lily retorted, finally looking up from the ground. "What about you? You´ve become all, I don´t know, possessive during these past few days. What´s up with that?"

"What, what´s wrong with wanting to be close to you?"

"You´re suffocating me, that´s what," she replied quickly, turning her back to him in the process. Already she could feel the moisture building up in her eyes. That´s the last thing she wanted to do this moment: show Terrence he could make her cry. That would mean she still had feelings for him if she cried over a silly situation such as this. Not that she had feelings for him, no, not at all.

When he saw Lily turn her back on him coldly, Terrence realized he made her upset in some way. He lightly put a hand on her back and gently turned her towards him. A light sniffle reached his ear. He hadn´t meant to snap at her; too many emotions were running through him at once to be controlled. Deciding to be unselfish, he pushed away his anger for a moment and replaced it with sympathy and compassion. He put a hand under her chin and tenderly lifted it so her eyes met his. "Suffocating you? How so?"

She hated the way his eyes looked at her. Like they could see her whole soul opened up to him. Everything there for him to see, her darkest secrets, her deepest fantasies. She drew away from him once more, "Always wanting to be near me. Always wanting to hold me and touch me and kiss me. I need room, Terrence!" She threw up her hands. He could see her eyes were rimmed with moisture and the end of her nose looked red. I can´t believe I´ve upset her like this... "Room to breathe for myself. Suffocation. Get it?"

"Ok, Lily, shh," he put his finger over her lips as she was about to say something else. Her shoulders slumped as she gave into him, let him fold his arms around her like a small child needing to comforted. "Let´s just go, enjoy the rest of our night here, have a few drinks, and forget about this, okay?" he asked, hoping he didn´t make her too upset with this conversation.

"The first sensible idea you´ve had all night. Come on," she pulled out of his embrace and roughly dragged him to the pub.

~*~*~*~

"James, why don´t you go down to the Great Hall and have some lunch?" Dumbledore suggested, hoping to take his mind off of the situation.

"How can you think of eating at a time like this?" James asked, sitting down on the couch looking out the window. The sun was high in the sky scarcely visible behind the gray clouds rolling in. What had started out as a nice autumn day quickly turned dreary towards noon.

"Well, it gets your mind off other things," Dumbledore crossed the room to where James was seated and proceeded to share the view.

"Do you remember?" James asked.

Dumbledore looked confused. "Remember what, exactly, James?"

"All of us here. Now those, those, were good times," a smiled played across his face.

"Oh yes, the Marauder´s days. How I do remember those. Don´t think I shall ever forget," he chuckled.

"Oh come off it, Headmaster," James waved his hand. Then stopped, a confused look replacing the smile. "Wait, how did you know about the Marauders?"

Dumbledore smiled, a twinkle in his eyes. "Don´t you know by now that hardly a thing goes by this school without my noticing?"

"Um, like what do you all know about the Marauders?" James gulped.

"Quite a few tidbits. Why, is there something else I need to know?"

"No!" James said quickly, hopping off the seat and holding up his hands. "No, nothing else, you probably know everything about us," James forced a laugh and went back to Dumbledore´s side. "Now, about lunch..." he changed the subject.

"Ah yes, lunch, are you ready now?"

"Yes, very hungry. Must be too many games of chess. Let´s go," James herded a smiling Dumbledore out of the room and towards the Great Hall for lunch.

~*~*~*~

"Well, I´ll go find a table. You order the drinks," Lily smiled playfully at Terrence.

"Who, me?" He asked, faking a look of astonishment.

Lily turned him where he was facing the bar. She stripped him of his jacket and gave him a light push. "Yes you. You´re the man here. Go, go!"

Laughing, Terrence set off towards the bar. It was set in the middle of the pub high above the tables and chairs surrounding it, so it could be easily viewed by all. At this time of night there were only a few stragglers hanging around. Most of those were sitting at the bar either passed out or still drinking waiting for the bartender to cut them off.

As Terrence approached the counter, a small woman came out from the back room. She wiped a spot clean on the bar and quickly threw the towel over her shoulder. Looking up at him from behind glasses, she asked in a petite voice, "Something to drink, m´dear?"

"Yes please. Two Butterbeers, and also," he paused, leaned closer towards her and whispered, "can you make them a bit stronger?"

She chuckled lightly, "Ah, yes of course, one minute, laddy."

Terrence watched her head off to the other side of the bar. He turned around so he could lean his back on the bar. Who knew a day of shopping could be this tiring! He couldn´t wait to go home, curl up in his covers, maybe with a certain someone beside him....

He looked over at her. From his position, he could view the profile of her face. Crouching over the table, she was looking intently at a handful of Knuts she had placed on the table. She was taking a larger Sickle and trying to flip the Knuts into a water cup that was leftover from the customers before. He couldn´t suppress a laugh as he watched her do this. Her green eyes focusing avidly on the Sickle and Knut combination, trying to get the right amount of force to send them flying into the cup.

A noise behind him startled Terrence out of watching her. The bartender was back, smiling lightly, with the two Butterbeers in her hand. "Anything else?" she asked.

Terrence tossed a couple of Sickles on the counter. "No, this is all, thank you." Still chuckling, he started heading off.

"That your girl over there?" he heard the woman call from behind him. Terrence stopped walking away and turned around to face her.

"No, why do you ask?" he questioned with raised eyebrow.

"Ah, she´s a beauty. I wouldn´t let her get away if I were you." She smiled like she held some kind of hidden secret.

Terrence raised an eyebrow at her. "What would you know?" he asked, quietly. By now he was looking over his shoulder at Lily who was continuing her little game.

The lady behind the bar picked up the towel and started walking in the backroom. "More than you think," she whispered, but her voice carried over to Terrence.

Terrence, puzzled, stared at the woman´s retreating back before turning around and walking towards Lily.

~*~*~*~

"Here you are!" Terrence slopped the Butterbeers with a flourish. "Two extra-special Butterbeers!"

Lily looked up from her game. In the cup, there sat a small pile of Knuts in the middle. There were at least ten in there, a new personal record. Suddenly realizing how very childish and immature this must look to Terrence, she quickly dumped the cup out in her hand, pocketed the Knuts, and cleared her throat. "Ah Butterbeer!" she exclaimed, in hopes to draw his attention away from her game.

He merely raised an eyebrow at her. Chuckling slightly, he slid the Butterbeer over to her and asked, "So what is this silly game you´ve been playing?"

Lily, blushing involuntarily, mumbled, "An old Muggle game, you wouldn´t know."

"Well teach me, it looks interesting," he replied, and flashed her a smile. She couldn´t help but return the smile as she set up the glass in the middle of the table and picked up a Sickle.

"First, spread the Knuts out on the table. Then, take one Sickle and try to flip as many of the Knuts in the cup as possible. Like the Muggle game Tiddlywinks," she positioned a Sickle over a Knut and expertly flipped it into the cup. "See, ta-da."

Terrence looked completely confused. Seeing the bemused expression on his face, Lily laughed out. He glanced her way and shot her a teasing glance before grabbing the Sickle from her hand. "Okay, let´s try this then," he said.

Lily leaned back in the flimsy chair and proceeded to watch what would be one of the most amusing events in her life. Periodically taking drinks, she watched him try to flip all of the Knuts into the cup. He refused her help every time she tried, his pride getting in the way. Lily saw the look of concentration in his cool blue eyes, but every time he tried to flip it, the Knut merely rolled.

Finally, Terrence got fed up and threw the sickle into the glass. Lily, a little tipsy by now, laughed. "Look, you made one!" she exclaimed before starting to laugh again.

Terrence looked at her giggling in the little wooden chair. She was long past drunk, considering she had three Butterbeers, spiked with a little more than usual. He, himself, had only consumed one and was in perfect condition. She, on the other hand, was laughing violently in her seat and as he looked over, almost fell.

"Whups!" she caught herself right as Terrence put his arms on her shoulders to steady her. Lily looked up to see him peering at her gently. He looked so good then to her, He looks so gentle, like he would never hurt anyone, she thought to herself. She saw his eyes flutter close for a moment and she could feel his head trying to tilt into hers. Uh-oh, she thought. "Oh my gosh! Look, it´s a Knut on the floor!" she exclaimed, while proceeding to dive into the floor at an alarming speed.

Terrence´s eyes fluttered open just in time to see her sprawl out at his feet. He couldn´t help but laugh at this scene that had just played out in front of him. She must be so drunk, he thought to himself. Her very loud and very amusing dive attracted the attention of the whole crowd at The Three Broomsticks. Though there weren´t many people there, they still slid amusing glances their way. Terrence cleared his throat, "Excuse me, yes, she´s maybe had a little too much to drink tonight. Right dear," he helped her off the floor as she was polishing the Knut she found.

"I am not drunk!" she replied, but slurred half the words in the sentence. She covered her mouth as she let out a slight giggle. "I think I need another one of these."

"Whatever you say," he replied and went to get her another one from the bar. Lily resumed with her game. Many of the Knuts missed this time, considering her current position. When Terrence returned, a good three-fourths of the Knuts we either in front or behind the glass. "Not so good now, eh?" he asked with a smile on his face.

"Oh, sheesh, I thought those went in," she tried flipping another Knut in the glass but it ended up going off the table. "Not that´s not where it was supposed to go huh?" she nodded, and bent down to pick the Knut back up. When she tried to go back up to the table, she hit her head on the side, covered it with a hand and said, "Ouch!" really loud.

People, again, were still starting.

Terrence started laughing as she kept her head covered. "That hurt! How can you laugh at me! You should be comforting me right now! Oh, ow, that hurt. Oh, headache, I can feel it," she said with a slight slur. Terrence decided to fight his urge to laugh and put on a semi-straight face.

"Oh, you baby, quit whining," he teased. Lily shot him a death glare as he picked up the sickle again. "Now, teach me how to play this."

"Oh, now you´re so willing to learn. Before," she waved a hand carelessly in front of her face, "you wouldn´t even let me talk to you! Now it´s `Lily, show me how to play. I want to learn from the best!´ Blah, blah, blah..." her voice was a bit louder than normal as she rambled.

Terrence chuckled, "Oh shush, just teach me already."

Lily made a humph sound but decided to teach him anyway.

"First," she said, "take the sickle. Now, put it on the very edge of the Knuts." She made elaborate hand gestures to accompany her instructions. "Then, just push down with the edge of the sickle," he pushed down, "and voíla," the Knut flew, "it sinks into the cup," and missed the cup.

Terrence just gave her a very exasperated look. Lily started giggling once again. Terrence just glared.

"Okay, so maybe it doesn´t work all the time," Lily said between laughs.

You could practically feel the heat rising out from Terrence by now.

"Oh fine, come here," she pushed her chair back, almost falling in the process, and leaned over him. She showed him where to position the sickle on the Knut so it would raise it in the air. Then she proceeded to show him how to aim. Finally after about five tries or so, he made one. "You did it!" she yelled, and threw her arms around him in a very sloppy hug. Terrence just smiled in his chair.

"Yeah, I did."

~*~*~*~

Terrence continued to look at her as she became more and more intoxicated. Almost, almost, he kept whispering over and over to himself. He had tried to kiss the silly little girl before, but she threw herself on the floor before he could reach her in attempts to reach a Knut. He smiled, still remembering the incident.

He looked over at her. Just before, he had asked her how to really play this cursed game. He couldn´t even manage to get the Knut off the table while she was expertly making them pile into the bottom of the glass. Lost in thought, he couldn´t remember what she was rambling about. So he just decided on saying, "Oh you baby, quite whining. Teach me how to play this." He picked up a Sickle and waited for her to come over to him.

"Oh, now you´re so willing to learn..." her voice trailed off to him as she neared his chair. All he could concentrate on were her movements across the table, getring closer and closer to him. Finally, she reached him and leaned over him, put her hands on his, and put them in the right position to hit the Knut.

"First..." she was explaining the directions to him, but he was listening. He just concentrated on where she moved his hands. She could feel her breath on the back of his neck, light, and smelling faintly of alcohol. Her hair, he could feel, was brushing his ear. Their close proximity was exciting him and he wanted to touch her, to feel her, to kiss her. He wanted to tangle his hands in her deep red hair, kiss her lips, her cheeks, her neck. She was still moving his hands around the table, every once and a while trying to send a Knut fly into the cup. His mind kept whispering almost, almost, almost, but he didn´t think he could take it any longer.

Finally, he saw one soar into the cup. Lily looked ecstatic. He looked up into her face and saw her slightly watery eyes, her flushed cheeks, all effects of the alcohol. She still looked beautiful. "You did it!" she yelled, throwing her arms around him. This move surprised him, but her felt himself lean in towards her. Normally, she wouldn´t have hugged him, she would have pat him on the back or some other friendly gesture. Even if this was meant to be a friendly gesture, he couldn´t distinguish. He could feel her breast pushing against his side, her hair draping across his face. She let her head rest in the crook of his shoulder.

"Yeah, I did," he said and finally, did what he had been waiting to do all night. He turned his head so it was facing her and captured her lips. He could see her eyes open in surprise as she tried to draw away. But he was stronger, and she was drunk. She let herself sink into him as he deepened the kiss. She moved in closer to him and sat in his lap. She was a little sloppy tonight; most likely because of the alcohol running thrrough her body. But he didn´t mind that part. He was actually kissing her. And she wasn´t a mile away from him by now. He broke off the kiss and breathed in deeply. She opened her eyes slightly and looked at his as he made a trail of kisses down her neck. "Terrence," he heard her whisper, but nothing mattered now. She was where he wanted her. Compliant, unresisting. He could feel her futile attempts at pushing him away but he could tell she wanted this just as much as he did.

Finally, he paused to look in her green eyes. She looked at him, but he couldn´t read her expression. Was it love? Betrayal? He couldn´t tell. Those soft green eyes just looked at him and he felt a stinging pain at what he just did to her. Forcing her to kiss him, holding her in place. He let his emotions get the better of him--

Just as he was doing with this situation. Letting his emotions take control. How could a mudblood witch turn me into this? He thought to himself. This was so unlike him, actually caring for someone for a change. This was all supposed to be an act. But somehow he got the feeling that it was turning into so much more...

Deciding he better apologize to continue the act (because that´s all it is, of course), he began, "Lily, I-- "

But he never made it after that. She swooped down and roughly kissed him, forcing his lips open beneath hers. He couldn´t believe this side of her, and he was right in saying that she had wanted this as much as he. Not feeling as bad for his actions before, he kissed her back, running his tongue over her lips. He pushed back with as much force as she greeted them with, and soon this kiss had become a battle to see who would win the other one over. He kept receiving her force, but returning it twice as much. He had wanted this much longer; more emotions were expressed with this kiss then hers. Finally she relented, letting him take her over completely.

They sat there, entwined, she on his lap letting him kiss her, still returning the favor though, and him, running his hands through her soft hair, pushing at her with pure, raw emotion.

"Terrence," she said abruptly, breaking him off in mid-kiss. "We shouldn´t be doing this..."

Terrence felt his heart contract with those words. So close once again. He could have had her for a moment. If this is what she wanted, fine, he thought, it´s what she´ll get.

He was just about to pull his arms away from her when he heard her whisper into his ear, "at least, not here."

He looked down at her and was greeted with a sly smile played across her face. He could see where she was coming from though. He really didn´t feel like having the whole pub watch him kiss her, but then he was slightly mad that they were the reason he had to stop. He could feel the bartenders gaze on him, probably mentally saying I told you so. "Er...I suppose you´re right," he said. Looking around for an exit, his eyes finally settled on the fire place. "Fine, we´ll Floo back to the manor," he said and kissed her on the lips before moving to let her slide off his lap. The manor, they would have the house alone, to do whatever, wherever. He was practically jumping with excitement, but he controlled himself as he held her hand and gently led her towards the fireplace.

"You remember what to say?" he asked, remembering the time when she had accidentally said the name wrong.

"Oh, stop," she smiled, playfully slapping him on the shoulder.

Still, wanting to be careful, Terrence said, "Okay, but you first."

She kind of gave him one of those glances that said Hey! I am a big girl now! But she took a handful of Floo anyway and threw it into the fire. "Apradium!" she yelled, and disappeared in a whoosh of green flame.

Terrence, eager to follow, quickly threw a handful in. The green flames sprout to life as he said the words that would transport him home.

~*~*~*~

Lily tightly closed her eyes and she quickly traveled passed numerous grates. Having alcohol in your system while traveling with Floo was not the best combination one could think of. Finally, when she though she couldn´t take the whirling motion any longer, she was thrown out onto a hearth at the mansion.

Quickly brushing the soot off her clothes, she did a mental recap of what just happened. He kissed me, she though, and I let him.

You also kissed him back too.

All thoughts of James were completely erased. She had one thing on her mind right now, smooth black hair and deep blue eyes. Terrence.

She heard the fire come to life beside her as he gracefully stepped out of the fire. He had little soot on his clothes and she had long since wondered how he could do that so gracefully. Everyone she saw usually tumbled out of the fireplace, or were thrown several feet covered head to toe in soot. He had a little soot on his face and back, but other than that he was clean.

She walked over to him and started dusting off his back, "Just a little soot," she said hesitantly and gave a weak smile. But really, she couldn´t wait to be back in his arms. His touch sent the hair on her body flying upwards and goosebumps broke out on her skin. His kiss was torture, always wanting more, but knowing she shouldn´t.

She crossed over in front of him and stood up on tiptoes to reach his face. "Just a little more," she said, and she gently brushed the remaining soot off of his cheek as he looked down on her. She could feel those blue eyes piercing her, reading her thoughts. She hoped she didn´t seem too desperate, her ruffled hair and flushed cheeks. But she was eager for his touch, anticipating his next move.

She felt his hand slide around her back, finally, and her eyes close. She felt his breath on her face and she opened her eyes back up and saw him leaning over her.

"Lily," he whispered, "only if you want me to."

Only if you want me to...

How could she not want him to? Every muscle, every fiber in her body wanted him, wanted to be touched and kissed by him. He made her shiver with excitement by merely looking at her with those blue eyes. Oh, the way he stared before, knowing that look on his face. He was waiting for her to okay it, to make sure he wasn´t crossing boundaries that shouldn´t be crossed.

Only if you want me to...

But she felt a nagging sensation at the back of her mind. Something trying to tell her to stop. But right now, she didn´t think she could stop, even if she had too. Already tasting him once that night, waiting to do it again. How could she resist? And why would she want to stop?

Only if you want me to...

She nodded slightly, giving him the okay to continue. He leaned down gently and brushed his lips with hers. So lightly, she didn´t even know if they were really there or not. For all she knew, he could be standing over her still. Maybe this was her imagination, some sick fantasy her mind was playing on her. But no, she could feel him now, gently applying more pressure into the kiss. This was real. There was no denying that.

She felt him moving her towards the couch and gently laying her down on top of it. He kissed her again and again, making all rational thought vanish from her mind. She could only think of Terrence, this night, this kiss, so perfect...

Still she had a feeling that she shouldn´t be doing this. The one thought that would not easily disappear with the kiss. But why shouldn´t she? That´s the point she was trying to get through to herself. Give me a good reason not to.

Deciding not to think too long on the subject, she brought herself back to the moment. Terrence had broken their kiss only to kiss her cheeks and necks. Lily could feel the weight of him on top of her and it was strangely exciting. She wanted to run her hands on his skin; she wanted to see if he felt as soft as she thought...

"Wait," his voice slammed her back to reality. He quickly got off of her and straightened his shirt. "Nelly, I almost forgot, let´s go upstairs," he smiled at her and grabbed her hand.

Oh how funny that would be. She could see the elf now, stumbling in on them heavily making out on the couch. Isa sorry sir! She would squeak, then quickly run out of the room. Lily giggled in her hand and Terrence caught her eye and laughed as he headed up stairs.

They went down an unfamiliar corridor she presumed led to his room. She had yet to see this part of the house and was excited when they finally reached a smooth wooded door leading to the master bedroom.

"Welcome," he said with a flourish, as he held the door open for her.

She giggled again and walked into the room. It was big, bigger than hers, but not enormous, like she thought it would be. It was furnished similarly to hers also, except there were black satin sheets on the bed and there was no canopy. On one wall, she could see a wooden armoire, painted black, to match to décor. There was a white fur rug on the carpet, much like hers, and sheer black drapes covering the two large windows.

Lily walked over to the windows and peered outside. Thousands of starts dotted the sky. It was beautiful. She was lost in the beauty of it until she felt his hands on her back.

"Lily," he murmured and kissed her neck. A shiver went down her spine. It felt so good. She never wanted him to stop.

Turning around to face him she kissed him once more. He ran his arms up and down her arms. Varying pressure in the kiss, he made her shiver with excitement even more. She loved this, is felt so right, so perfect to be with him.

She could feel him lightly pulling her towards the bed. Lily obliged, keeping in step with him so as not to break the kiss. She was eager, ecstatic, wanting him to touch her. She could feel him gently slide her onto the bed. All thought lost, she let him lead and she felt that the night couldn´t get any better than this.

~*~*~*~

Terrence led her up the stairs to his room. She was giggling behind him. Still drunk, good. He smiled and let go of her hand as he reached his door, opened it and said, "Welcome," and bowed to accompany the act. She seemed to like it because she continued to snigger.

As he walked in, he could feel her eyeing the room. He let her get used to her surroundings, but he couldn´t get her out of his head. Lily, it´s all he thought about. Nothing else could take over that one thought, that obsession. He kept his hands off her now, but he didn´t know for how long.

He saw her cross over to the window and look up. She looked unearthly standing there, the black drapes and the moonshine complimenting her. She had a pensive look about her face, but it was gone the next second he blinked. He couldn´t take this torture any longer as he crossed the short distance between them and placed his hands on her back. "Lily," he said quietly, kissing her neck. He felt her go rigid for an instance than relax back into his touch.

She turned her body to face him. The perfect figure, he grinned. He bent down to kiss her, to kiss all her thoughts away once again. He started moving her subtly over towards to bed and she went with him, submitting herself, keeping in step with himself. He was surprised at her eagerness in this situation.

They reached the bed and he pushed her down softly, wrinkling the black satin sheets in the process. He broke the kiss for an instant and looked into her eyes. He felt her moan softly as he severed their connection and he finally agreed with himself. She´s ready, he thought to himself, and he began kissing her again. She fell back into him once again, consumed. She couldn´t get enough of him, and he inwardly laughed to himself.

He started undoing her blouse and he was sure it was going to be an interesting night...