Secrets of the Past

Secrets of the Past-Chapter 5

A blond woman sat at a table in the Three Broomsticks with James. They were drinking butterbeer and chatting together nonchalantly, like they had known each other for years. She wasn´t stunningly beautiful, but she was quite pretty, a face you wouldn´t forget. James looked older somehow; more mature then his 20-year-old self. They both laughed at something the woman had said, and James reached out and took her hand. He quietly slipped a ring around it and she saw him form two simple words: Marry me?

The woman was astonished, and then she looked up at him and smiled warmly. Of course, she replied, and he grabbed her out of the chair and kissed her. Picking her up out of the chair, he spun her around while hugging her tightly. His face was bright like a child´s. Lily had never seen him this happy before. The woman was still smiling.

The scene changed. They were outside in what looked like a park. There was a priest and a crowd. James was waiting nervously at the altar; he was in a tuxedo. White flowers surrounded it and the people were facing the back of the aisle, expectantly. Then the same woman who was with James in the Three Broomsticks was there, in a beautiful white dress. She had a veil over her face and pearls around her neck and in her ears. She looked overjoyed and was beaming at anyone who looked her way. Everyone who looked at her smiled in return, like the smile was contagious, being passed from person to person. She held a bouquet of white roses in her hand.

She took her place at the altar. Lily was dumbstruck. She was there, in the dream, in her green robe she always wore. No one seemed to notice her, though. She walked up the aisle as the priest started the ceremony and cautiously approached James. He, like everyone else, ignored her presence completely. She reached out a gentle hand to touch his face. But at that moment, he stepped towards the blonde and lifted the veil off of her face. She saw him look in her eyes the moment before James gently kissed the other woman. Lily tore her hand back in surprise and looked at him. James took the woman´s hand and laughed as he picked her up and carried her down the aisle, to the crowd´s amusement. Lily was left standing alone at the altar.

Once again, the scene changed. She was in the same park, but the wedding party was not there. James and the same woman were sitting on a bench. Next to the bench was a stroller and in the stroller was a dark haired girl with her mother´s eyes. James had his arm around the woman and they were both looking at the child with love in their eyes. Lily was at some distance seeing this, and she walked over to where they sat. On her way, she saw James pointing to the spot where she presumed there wedding was once held. The woman smiled in return and nodded her head. James laughed and took her in his hands and kissed her once more. As Lily moved closer she saw the child who was flailing her arms happily. She stepped over the baby and looked down at it. The infant seemed to look right at he, and smile. Lily was surprised, but she leaned in closer to the her. The babe giggled as Lily held out her hand to its face. On closer inspection, the child had James dark hair and face. The baby reached up a hand to Lily´s and latched on to it, laughing once more. James then pulled away from the woman and they got up. They walked down the path, the woman pushing the stroller and James´ arm around her waist. But as they were leaving, the infant waved as if saying goodbye.

Lily sat there, once again alone, with a single tear gliding down her cheek.

*************

Lily sat up in her bed. It was the first time she was able to wake up on her own accord without Nelly bobbing somewhere beneath her elbows telling her to get up. She started to wonder why she woke up so early when she remembered the dream.

She had dreamt that James had gone off, married another woman, and started a family with her. He was smiling in the dream, as if he was really actually happy to be with the woman. Did he completely forget about me? The thought struck her hard, there is no way he would forget about me, ever. He is probably worried sick about me, even now!

Lily let all of these thoughts run across her head. She didn´t know what to do, she wanted to go back, but could she just forget Terrence completely? When all of this started, she had never dreamt it would be this hard to go away. After all, she was just using this place as the Portkey charged.

The Portkey! Of course, how could I be so stupid? She threw off the green bedspread and slipped onto the fur rug beneath her feet. She then tore over to the wardrobe and threw open the doors. She had to find the Portkey, surely it must be recharged right now, after all it had been two weeks, it should be ready. But where the hell did I put it? She started throwing the shoes out of the wardrobe floor, trying to find the Portkey still. Wait! She remembered now. She put the Portkey in her pocket when she was in Diagon alley. How could she forget? Rummaging through the jacket she wore that day, she soon found the small ball. Yes! She couldn´t wait to get back to James. He must be waiting for me right now. There is no way he could forget about me.

Taking the Portkey in her hand, she went and stood on the rug. She waited for the familiar tug behind her naval, but it never came. Do I have to use a spell? She wondered to herself. Racking her brain she couldn´t think of any that enabled Portkeys, you usually just had to clasp onto them and they would take you back to your destination. Could this one be any different?

Wait, he might have wards surrounding his house. That must be it. She quickly put on her emerald slippers and ran over to the wood door. As she threw it open, she stumbled back in surprise.

"Lily?" Terrence asked, startled. "What are you doing?"

~*~*~*~

Richards woke up to sunlight streaming through his window.

"Master needs to wake up, master has things to do today!" a high-pitched voice squeaked below his canopy be. "Up, get up, master!" He felt the covers being torn off of him.

"Ug, Nelly, what is there to do today?" Terrence asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Sir has a meeting with Gavan Malfoy about the ball coming up!" Nelly piped below him still. "I have breakfast going now, wake up soon master, or you'll be late!" She scurried out of the room.

"The ball, how could I forget?" Sitting up in his bed, Terrence walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out a robe for today. It was simple, navy blue with gold trimming on it, nothing fancy for the meeting. After laying out the clothes, he decided to take a quick shower, and then he would go talk to Lily. He grabbed a fluffy towel and walked towards his bathroom.

Taking off his pajamas, he slipped in, the water already running warm. He let the water run over his body, lazily, letting it massage him. His thoughts drifted and he soon came to Lily. My Lily, he thought to himself.

As soon as he met the girl, he suddenly took a liking to her. Hence why he invited her over so quickly and why he had kissed her numerous times. She was so beautiful to him. From her emerald eyes, to her long, red hair, then her body. Oh he could never wait to get his hands on her slender waist and just wrap her up in another kiss.

His goal all this time was to make her forget about the other man she left behind. He wanted her to stay here with him, needed her to stay here with him. She was everything and more, but she always seemed to be having second thoughts about him. Like when they kissed, he would pour his whole heart and soul into it, but she always seemed reluctant, as if second guessing her actions. She just could not forget about his Potter character.

Of course, after he got out of the shower, he was going over to her room to retrieve the Portkey. He did not want her to have a way back. He wanted her to stay here, and what he wanted, he usually received.

After washing himself over, he stopped the water and dried off. He performed some simple drying spells that would enable his hair to dry instantly. After that, he stepped into his navy robes and checked himself in the mirror. Nice, he said to himself, running his hand as if smoothing out a section of his crisp robe. Chuckling at himself, he stepped outside of his room and made his way down the hall to Lily´s room. He walked past the painting and tapestries to her wooden door. He raised his hand to knock, but then the door was yanked violently open and a very flushed looking Lily stumbled back.

"Lily," he said. "What are you doing?"

She had her mouth open, gaping at him. She opened and shut it a few times, like she couldn´t form the right words to respond to him. He looked down and saw she was in her slippers.

"Oh, you´re up early. Usually it takes a heard of manticores to go by until you wake," he smiled, but she was still gaping at her.

"Er, Terrence! What a surprise, I was, er, just making my way outside. You know, fresh air in the morning, helps you wake up sooner!" She put on a cheerful smile in spite of the situation.

"Er, right. I´ve never known you to be the early riser," he could sense something was wrong with her. She was keeping something from him and he didn´t like it. He looked her over carefully and saw her fists were clenched. "What´s in your hand?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"Oh!" her face flushed again. "Nothing! It´s nothing, don´t worry about it," she bowed her head and tried to walk out of the door through the empty space beside him. But as she walked through, he grabbed her hand. It opened in his own, like it was shocked by his touch. A small ball slid out in his hand. Ah, he thought, this must be the Portkey! What was she doing with it? He looked at her.

"What were you trying to do?" he asked, trying to keep the anger in his voice down to a minimum.

"Terrence," she said defeated, "you know I can´t stay here forever. I need to get back to James." She held out her hand as if expecting him to give the Portkey back.

"But, you don´t know where this could take you! I refuse to let you try to transport back with this until I have spelled it so you go back to specifically your time," he lied, right to her face. He just didn´t want her leaving him.

"Terrence, really, I need to get back. Everyone is going to miss me," she looked back up at him.

"And after all I´ve done for you, you were just ready to waltz on out of here, without saying goodbye!" he yelled the last bit, making her jump slightly. "I can´t believe you would do that to me Lily," he reached up a hand to stroke her cheek. "I thought you loved me Lily."

"Terrence, I never said I loved you. I like you, yes, but I do not love you. I love James, and I have to get back to him," she grabbed his hand and tried to get the Portkey out of it.

"Lily, no!" he yanked his hand back. "I will allow you to go, but I-I want to spell it, so it will take you back to your time. I want you to be safe, I care about you Lily, don´t forget that." He ran his fingers through her hair and she closed her eyes, as if lulled by his touch. "I have to go somewhere today, just stay around the house, I´ll be back later." She nodded in understanding and he slid the Portkey in his pocket. As soon as he got back, he was going to destroy it.

~*~*~*~

"Check."

James looked at all the possibilities of moving his king. He looked at the wooden chess board, property of Hogwarts, and decided to move forward one.

Dumbledore moved his castle forward. "Check."

James sighed and put his chin in his hand. He grabbed his king and twirled it in his fingers absentmindedly. He looked at all of the outcomes if he moved his king. He could move it back, but he would still be in check. If he moved it side-to-side he would also be in check. The game was quickly slipping between his fingers as he found he only had one more move to make. He reluctantly let his king fall there.

Dumbledore moved his bishop. "Checkmate," he said simply and smiled at James. James preceded to knock down his king.

"I hate this game," James said.

"I don´t think you hate it. I just think you haven´t had enough practice with it. You must think of the whole game, instead of just one or two key pieced," Dumbledore folded his hands in his lap and looked back up at James.

James buried his head in his arms and mumbled something inaudible.

"What?" Dumbledore asked.

James took his head out. "I asked, `how much longer do you think until she comes home? It´s already been 3 hours.´"

"Well, James, you know we can´t be sure," Dumbledore reached for the teapot and poured himself a cup. "It is all up to her you know."

"I know that, it´s just that..."

"It´s just what?" Dumbledore asked, a smile on his face.

"I miss her," James replied, and buried his head in his arms once again.

Albus reached across the table and patted him on the back. "I know, James, I do too."

~*~*~*~

Terrence walked into a room with a man sitting at a desk. He presumed this to be Gavan´s study, though he didn´t know for sure. The man had white blonde hair and was writing something on a scroll when Terrence walked in.

Terrence cleared his throat expectantly.

Gavan Malfoy looked up, surprised. "Terrence! I didn´t expect you until later today, is something wrong?"

"No, nothing is wrong. I just came a little sooner than planned. And stop with the alias here, you don´t need it." Terrence waved his hand impatiently.

"I´m sorry, my Lord," Gavan stepped forward and bowed to Terrence. "You will excuse me, Tom Riddle?" he sneered at Terrence´s face.

In one abrupt movement, Terrence seized hold of the man´s front, pushed him up against the desk, and held his wand hand up over his should. "You. Do. Not. Call. Me. By. That. Name." Every other word he would jerk him harder and harder into the oak desk.

"I´m sorry, Lord, please, forgive me!" Gavan yelped, his blonde hair becoming dishevelled.

"Lord what?" Terrence asked, wand still held high.

"Lord...Lord...Voldemort," Gavan finally spat the name out.

"Now sit down and tell me what news you have," Voldemort sat in the chair in front of his desk while Gavan straightened up his robes and walked quickly over to the desk.

"There were the attacks last night that we organized, though nothing of value was uncovered. We held the meeting like you asked and familiarized everyone with your, er, situation at the manor, and we are almost prepared for the ball." Gavan ruffled through the parchment.

"What do you mean, almost prepared?" Voldemort asked menacingly.

"Well, you are familiar with the spell," Malfoy shifted.

"No, why don´t you familiarize me with the spell this time," Voldemort folded his arms across his chest.

"Well, it calls for a certain, er, sacrifice," Gavan sneered.

"So get a lamb. Or a sheep. Or a goat for Grindelwald´s sake I don´t care what you bloody use, get me a sacrifice," he turned to look out the window.

"That is harder than it looks, my Lord," Gavan bowed his head once more in reverence of his name.

"Why, may I ask?" Riddle asked unkindly.

"In order for you to become immortal, you need a mortal life to give you immortal life. They need to give their life source for you will have both life sources, and will become immortal. You need a human sacrifice."

"Let me ask you something, Malfoy," Voldemort spat. "You are really dense aren´t you? Almost like Crabbe and Goyle. How many people do we kill a day?"

"Er...around 5, maybe 10, it depends on what the assignment is," he once again shifted.

"So, let´s put two and two together. Why can´t we just bring one of those in for the ritual?"

"Well, Lord, we figured you know with her around, you might not want to do that," he raised his eyebrows and attempted a smile.

Voldemort was still looking out the window, but his brow was furrowed in concentration. Gavan watched him hopefully, waiting to see some kind of reacting from his shielded face.

"What if I told you I was going to ask her to marry me?" Voldemort asked quietly.

"But, my Lord, she´s, she´s a-a Mudblood!" Gavan spat.

"Do you what she told me?" he asked again, just as quietly.

"No, my Lord. I do not."

"Well, my dear Gavan," the Dark Lord sneered, "she told me. She told me that one day, the wizarding world would fear to speak my name. The name of Voldemort. She told me that all lived in fear of my servants and me. She said it was horrible. She described it with a lot of horrid names, but each meaning the same thing. Evil. That´s what I am like in the future. Everyone fears me, Gavan, it was meant to be."

"This is great news, my Lord," Gavan bowed again before the Lord.

"Now, do you see why it is so important we get this sacrifice?"

"Yes, my Lord."

"Well done. When you find the sacrifice, keep them in your dungeons. I think I have a back-up plan though. But do not rely on me." Lord Voldemort took his feet off the desk.

"Yes, my Lord."

"Now go, leave me. I am going to sit here for a while," Terrence shooed the man out with a wave. He loved this, loved having power over people twice his age. Maybe that is why I do this, for the power, like Lily said.

Lily...

At once his thoughts traced back to her. He thought of how much he wanted to kiss her, to hold her all the time. He had never felt that way about any of his other girlfriends before. He just wanted to be with her all the time. He hated leaving her. He wanted her to have everything.

But will she accept who I am? He let that thought drift lazily across his mind.

Finally, he stood from the chair and walked out of the room.

~*~*~*~

He stood on the threshold to his house. He had a bouquet of roses in his hand, a dozen read roses for her, for Lily, his love.

He stepped inside. He considered calling out Honey, I´m home, but he didn´t think she would like that too much. Instead he set his cloak down and went upstairs to her room.

The door was closed when he reached it. He knocked softly on it first, calling her name. No one answered still. He knocked a little bit harder, more urgent, but still, nothing was there. He felt in his pocket for the Portkey and found it still there. She couldn´t have gone home...

"Nelly!" he called throughout the castle.

At once the house-elf came to his call, bowing in front of him. "Yes master?" she asked.

"Where did Lily go?" Terrence asked.

"Miss is outside in the garden, looking at the landscape. Nelly let her out there, Miss seemed bored inside, please do not be mad master," Nelly hung her head before him.

Terrence smiled a little. "No, I´m not mad. Just make sure you have dinner prepared outside, come get us when it´s ready, we´ll be in the garden."

"Yes master, of course master," Nelly bowed and quickly walked away.

Terrence watched as Nelly walked away and silently laughed to himself. It amazed him still how much power he had over something, what he could make them do. After all, he was a wizard; he could make people bend to his will by using one simple curse. That thought made him smile a bit more as he walked out to the garden to find Lily.

Lily was looking up at the rapidly darkening sky, watching the starts appear. It was a clear night, so they shone brightly on the midnight blue sky. She hadn´t heard him walk out of the door, so he walked up behind her and put his arms around her slim waist. She was wearing the emerald green robe. Must like that, Terrence decided.

She visibly jumped when he slid his arms around her. "Oh don´t do that to me! You scared me!"

"Sorry, dear, didn´t mean to startle you," he apologized quickly. "Nelly´s inside getting supper ready, it should be finished shortly."

"Ok," she replied simply.

"What´s on your mind?" he asked. He could tell without looking at her that something was wrong. She was sitting on the grass, him behind her with his arms still around her. But when he talked to her, her gaze was far away, she wasn´t responding as she normally would. She must be thinking of something else.

"Nothing. Why? What makes you think that?" she looked at him over her shoulder and he saw her emerald green eyes.

At once, she captivated him all over again. This was the first time he ever felt this way about somebody. Though he was only 21 years old, he still felt like this was the woman he wanted to be with, forever. He never wanted to leave his side.

But this also gave him something he didn´t know. Bitter and resentment to the one she still loved, the one she left behind. James Potter, he spat inside his head. He had to make her forget about him. Obviously that is what she was after this morning when he saw her in her room. She was clutching the Portkey, trying to be transported back. And after all I´ve done for her; I can´t believe she would do that to me.

So after thinking about what he was going to say, he finally formulated it all into words, "You seem distant tonight. Do you have that Potter on your mind again?" He asked it sincerely enough, but inside his head, he kept all of his bitterness and jealousy he felt towards the man.

"Oh my God, how did you know that?" she asked amazed. "Is it that obvious?"

"Well, no, I just know you well enough don´t I?" he chuckled a bit.

"I miss him, Terrence. I mean, yeah, I thought that this was only just a crush, but you know, after spending seven years with him, then going to virtually living with him and still seeing him everyday, I guess it has developed into something more. But I miss him so much, you have no idea. Have you ever felt that way about somebody? Like every day you spend away from them it eats your soul out?" she looked up at him, tears in her eyes.

He thought for a moment then replied, "Well, I didn´t use to think that way about anybody. But then, I found you didn´t I?" he smiled at her and gave her a playful little nudge. She smiled, but she just bent her head. "Listen, Lily, anything I can do to make you feel better, you just say the word and I´ll to it. You know I´ll do anything for you."

Lily kept her head down for a while. He presumed she was just thinking about the whole situation and what her possibilities were. After a while, when her head was still down, he just figured that she wasn´t going to answer him. By this time, the moon had risen clearly in the sky and the stars shone against it like fireflies in the night. So, instead of prying her for more information, he just brought her closer to him and put her against his chest and held her there. He felt her shaking and realized that she was crying. "Shh, Lily, don´t cry, it´s ok, you don´t have to answer me if you don´t want to."

She still didn´t answer him, just continued to bury her head into her arms and cry. She sat like that for a good 15 minutes and just let it all out; everything that has happened to her in the past couple of weeks came out with her tears.

And then Terrence understood. Right then, he realized that she didn´t love him; she would never love him as much as she loved James. No one could take that place. So he said to her, "You miss him."

"Yes," she sobbed into his chest.

"So what are you going to do?" he replied, still holding her.

"I want to go home, Terrence, I want to go home."

Terrence thought about this. He didn´t want Lily to leave him; she was the best thing that ever happened to him. He couldn´t just let her walk out of his life this simple. So he had to formulate a plan. Had to keep her near him, try to convince her that she really loved him. He realized how selfish this sounded, but he didn´t care. He was a selfish man after all, and if he couldn´t have her, he would make sure no one else did either. "I know Lily, but I still haven´t made sure the Portkey is safe yet. As soon as I make sure it´s all right to travel with, I´ll let you go. I have only one thing to ask of you."

She stopped crying and looked up at him. She had tear streaks gliding down her cheeks and her eyes were all red and puffy from crying. But still, he thought she looked amazing. She would be his own if he could make is happen, and he already knew what he had to do. "What´s that?" she asked, her voice sounding muffled.

"I want you to attend this ball I´m having. It´s nothing special, I just want it to be considered a goodbye thing I guess, for the both of us," he smiled at her again, but this was eating him up inside, her wanting to be with another man.

"Okay," she replied with a smile. She actually thinks I´m going to let her go? No, I don´t think so.

"Great! We´ll go shopping together for robes tomorrow, oh this is so exciting Lily!" he picked her up from the grass and scooped her into a hug. Before he knew what he was doing, he started kissing her again. And Lily did not like that idea. She pushed him back and wiped her mouth. "What are you doing?!" she yelled at him.

"Oh, I´m sorry, Lily-just before-you know-" he trailed off.

"Before was an accident, I shouldn´t have let that happen," she glared at him, her brow furrowing. "And if you don´t respect that I want to be with another man, then you can just give me the Portkey now."

"No! Lily, I´m sorry! Really, it won´t happen again. I promise," he was upset at her behavior towards him; usually she would bend into the kiss, now she was refusing him. This was worse than her though. So he held out his hand, "Friends?" he asked.

Lily looked at his hand, but then reluctantly put out her own, "Friends," she mumbled, and they shook hands.

"Now, let´s go eat! I´m starving," he put on a smile, but he was surprised he could even force that on. After she was so cold to him, nothing hurt worse than that.

"Ok," she brushed past him and walked to the door. "I´m going to wash up before dinner," she threw over her should.

"Er-right, I´ll see you down there, love," he said as she went inside. He stood there a moment afterwards and checked his pocket for the Portkey. Touching the cold metal, he realized it was still there, and he decided to go upstairs to hide it before he went to dinner. She will not get a hold of this, he thought to himself, then, he walked inside.

~*~*~*~