In Curves, Not Angles

Part 7

James was having a heated discussion over a map with Emmeline Vance when Frank Longbottom burst into the room, nearly out of breath from running, and panted, "Emergency flare just went up over Carver Street."

Everyone in the room stood ramrod straight, but James stared more sharply than anyone else when he said, "That's right near...."

Frank's expression was sober. "It's Lily's, from the color," he said. "James, I--"

He didn't finish the sentence. James had already nearly vaulted the table to go for the door.

Frank hurried after, still trying to talk as James pulled on his coat and pulled out his wand. "We can't Apparate there. Too many Muggles nearby. The safest way would be to Floo to your place and then to Lily...."

James half-heard Frank's sensible but intense declarations, already caught up in a whirl of panicked questions. What had happened? Was it Lily or Sirius? Was it Lily in Sirius? Or was it the other way around -- and if so, dear God... the baby....

"We've got to get there now," James said.

Frank nodded mutely, empathy clear in his eyes, and readied his own wand just as Emmeline said, "I'm coming too. You might need--"

James stared at her.

A Healer.

For a second, he couldn't say anything. Finally he turned away and grabbed for the Floo powder. "Come on, then," he said, his voice only shaking a fraction. "614 Bromley!"

In a swift series of green flashes, all three of them vanished.

---

When Lily saw the three silhouettes running down the street toward her, wands at the ready, she had to resist the urge to run -- and then, when she recognized them, the urge to fling herself into James' arms. Her husband was in the lead, face set in a worried but determined expression, and Frank and Emmeline were right behind, already casting diversionary charms to bolster her hasty, raggedly-cast ones from five minutes before. Some few Muggles were once again walking around nearby, but were too distracted by the charms to look on; as soon as Frank's spell glowed to life at the end of the street, an approaching car slowed, then took a casual turn down the next alley, leaving them alone.

The spells left them in an eerie sort of hollow. They weren't invisible, especially if they did anything flashy, but for Muggles who weren't paying attention, they were unremarkable enough not to notice... so they were completely ignored, despite the bodies sprawled on the pavement, and the fear-stricken man clutching the pregnant girl close.

Lily watched it all through a strange blur of detachment, still mostly only aware of her own hand clutched between Sirius' strong fingers. Everything felt so strange and inverted, so eerily wrong.

"James," she called desperately. "Hurry."

He arrived in a rush and dropped to his knees beside Sirius, brushing red hair back to see her face, his own breath coming too fast. "Are you-- is h- she--"

"She's breathing," Lily said. "But won't wake up."

"What hit her?" Frank asked.

Lily shook her head. "Nothing, but she cast a massive Expelliarmus at everyone -- knocked them flat...."

Emmeline glanced across Lily's shoulder to the Death Eaters on the pavement, who were under Lily's petrificus now, and motionless.

"She cast it and then fell," Lily finished, her voice breaking. "Hasn't woken up."

James gripped her hands -- one of Lily's, and one of Sirius' -- tightly. She cast a quick, desperate look at him, her thoughts still whirling, almost blocking out Emmeline murmuring, "Probably spell-shocked from the strain of the casting...."

Spell-shocked... too much to handle, with the pregnancy. Oh, God. I can't hear him while I'm in here. Either of them. Sirius, please wake up, let him be okay....

James took a deep breath and raised his head.

"Frank," James said, "you take care of... of them. We've got to get them in for questioning."

"Absolutely," Frank said grimly, getting up.

"And Emmeline, we're taking Lily to our house--"

She looked puzzled. "Wouldn't St. Mungo's be--"

"Predictable," James interrupted. "We need to get them somewhere safe, and quiet, and our home's as warded as we can get it. I want you on this -- you've done Healer's training, you know how to... to handle...."

She still paused, but nodded. James shot another look at Lily, and she immediately saw the real reason: If we go to St. Mungo's, they'll have mindhealers too, and they'll see that something isn't right here.....

Lily glanced at Emmeline, hoping she wouldn't see anything amiss either, but finally nodded, too.

"Are you all right?" James asked her, when she'd turned enough for him to really see her again. "You're -- the bruise...."

Lily put a hand to the mark across her face, wincing a little, but shook her head. "Don't worry about me. We just... need to go."

James nodded briskly and helped her lift Lily's unconscious body upright. Emmeline cast a quick levitation spell to aid them, and James steadied her while he pulled Lily close on the other side. "Can you keep us masked?" he asked Emmeline.

"Yes," she said, gathering the diversionary charms close to them as a kind of shield.

Lily watched them ripple into place, then squeezed her husband's hand. "Let's hurry."

With that, they made their way back to shelter as quickly as they could.

And in the street behind them, life went back to normal, as if it had never been anything but.

---

It was quiet in the Potters' house. Emmeline was tending to the-Lily-who-was-Sirius in the bedroom; she wasn't saying anything, just quietly casting charms and brewing restoratives. Lily saw, when she looked over her shoulder at the tall, composed woman for at least the ninth time, that she wasn't hurrying too much, but considering Emmeline's perpetual poise, that could mean anything --

James put a hand alongside Lily's chin, interrupting her thoughts, and gently turned her back toward him.

"Ow," she muttered, flinching at the pressure on her jaw. He drew back.

"Sorry," he said.

Lily shook her head, dismissing the need for his apology. James shrugged and sighed instead, looking at the livid mark across her face. In the bathroom mirror beside her, Lily could see the full extent of the damage: a huge purpling mark across her right cheek, and a split to her lower lip that had bloodied badly, and was just now scabbing over.

"Oh, dearie," said the mirror, sounding worried. "That looks painful."

"Want a crack across the glass to see how it feels?" Lily muttered. James let out a low, ironic laugh.

"Now that sounds like Sirius," he said. "Here, c'mere."

Lily glanced at him. He was lifting his wand slightly toward her chin. Guessing what he meant to do, she nodded and shut her eyes.

A series of soft words washed out over her; she could see the wand's glow even through her closed eyelids, in a smear of red-gold light. Tingling warmth spread under her skin, glowed in the joints of her jawbone, prickled out through bruised and broken capillaries. For a second or two, she had to clench her hands tightly against the pain, before the healing magic finished its work and faded into slow, soft relief. She sagged a little; this time when James' hand cupped her cheek, she felt no discomfort, only the urge to lean closer.

"Better?" he asked, ghosting one thumb over her skin.

"Much," she whispered.

After a second of that touch, she suddenly laughed. James, looking curious, stilled; she rubbed closer this time to prove her point, hearing the scratch of stubble across his fingertips as much as she felt it.

"Sirius said you should teach me how to shave," she said.

James cracked a smile. "I think we got distracted."

"Last night or this morning?" she asked wryly. James only shook his head and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. The touch was brief before Lily lifted her chin and guided him into a proper kiss.

"My goodness," the mirror said, sounding startled. "This is new...."

James broke away first, picking up the washcloth he'd used to clean Lily's wound and pitching it at the glass. Lily pressed one hand to her lips to suppress a laugh -- and only ended up wanting to laugh louder at her reflection, and Sirius' body making such a girlish gesture.

"I honestly don't know what's going on around here lately," the mirror muttered, sounding affronted.

It fell abruptly silent, however, when James and Lily's reflections were joined by Emmeline's.

"She's waking up," was all Emmeline said.

James and Lily looked at each other sharply, then hurried out the door to the adjoining room.

Sirius was just barely stirring, his eyes half-open and his fingers moving restlessly against the pillow where his hand had been curled. Emmeline went to stand beside him, retucking blankets where he'd disturbed them. "She'll be all right," Emmeline said. She glanced up. "As far as I can tell, the baby's just fine."

Lily sagged with relief against James' side; he breathed out just as she did, curling one arm around her shoulders. Emmeline looked at them, saying nothing. It took a long moment for Lily to realize they weren't embracing like best friends, and for her to move back a little, clearing her throat.

Emmeline stepped up to gently touch her elbow. "Let's leave James with her for a minute," she said. "Something I wanted to tell you. Won't be long."

"Of course," Lily said slowly, still distracted by watching Sirius. Finally she let Emmeline lead her out into the hallway.

She wasn't exactly worried until Emmeline put up a silencing charm to separate them from James. Lily saw it ripple across the open space of the doorway, then turned to Emmeline, frowning.

She hadn't noticed until just now how tall Emmeline was, but Lily was staring her directly in the eye now, seeing every detail: the regal pose and calm, almost sad eyes, and her utter composure when she said four very disturbing words: "They're not safe here."

Lily said nothing, but she could hear the blood roaring in her ears.

"You were the one they followed, but I'm sure once they saw Lily with you, they sent word back of her pregnancy," Emmeline said quietly. "You know what kind of vulnerabilities they target."

Lily, feeling sick, put a hand to her stomach.

"If you can stay with them tonight, I'll call for extra security here and at your flat. And when we hear back from Frank... well, then we'll know what to do next."

Lily nodded silently. Frank would be asking their attackers about everything they'd done, everywhere they'd been, what they'd seen, what their plans were -- and if they were anything like the other Death Eaters questioned before, they were under spells that would instantly kill them if the right questions were asked. Emmeline knew as well as she did that the questioning would likely be....

"Bloody useless," she muttered aloud,. She sounded in that moment exactly like Sirius. Emmeline made the slightest face... but didn't contradict her.

"It's all we can do for now," Emmeline said quietly. "But I'd appreciate it if you spoke to James. I think the safest thing would be relocation, but he'd take it better coming from you."

Lily looked back into the bedroom, where James was cradling one of Sirius-who-was-Lily's hands, and looking subtly relieved -- but exhausted. She thought of having to uproot him from the home they'd been building for themselves and their baby, and managed only a nod.

"Don't tell Lily anything until she's feeling better, of course," Emmeline said. "No sense in making things worse."

"Of course," Lily echoed wearily.

"I think she'll be all right if I go." Emmeline glanced into the bedroom, then turned back to her. "I'd best find Frank. If I know him, he's on his way home now, worrying about Alice...."

She sighed, rested a comforting hand on Lily's shoulder for a moment, and turned down the hallway.

Lily watched her go. Until she saw the faint green flash from below, signaling her Floo departure, she couldn't even move. Then she heard Emmeline's silencing charm dissipate in her absence. From the bedroom, her own voice was calling, "Lily?"

She sighed, braced herself, and went back inside.

---

James watched his wife and best friend sit together in the darkening bedroom, and thought as the seconds ticked on that there could be no real doubt anymore who was who.

Lily, certainly, was unmistakable. Her look of melancholy concern, and how gently she was touching Sirius' shoulder, made him expect to see green eyes in that face, and hear her voice when she murmured, "Are you okay?"

Sirius didn't say anything for a minute. He sniffed once, wiping inelegantly under his nose as if he were trying to do it too quickly for them to see. It failed utterly. Sirius to the core.

"Emmeline says the baby will be fine," James said. "No real harm done. Just a... a little excitement."

"That's good," Sirius said unsteadily.

"It's nothing to worry about," Lily added. She hesitated oddly on the word "worry," but didn't elaborate. "Just... I just think we all need some rest."

Sirius nodded, not looking at her.

James took a breath. "Listen, Sirius. It's...."

Sirius looked up at James, his eyes glistening. When he spoke it came out suddenly, and in a voice that trembled more than James had ever heard it do before. "God, James, I'm so sorry."

James opened his mouth to say something, but Sirius spoke too quickly for him to finish.

"I'm sorry. I am. I was trying to defend you" -- he looked at Lily then, his eyes wide, and almost fearful -- "and keep myself safe, so nothing would happen to him. I.... didn't mean to...."

"I know you didn't," Lily said, her voice almost too soft to hear.

James put his hand over Sirius', atop the blankets. "We both know. It's not your fault."

"But if anything had happened..." He sniffed again and pulled that hand away to wipe roughly at one cheek. "Damn this body anyway," he said, his voice choked with frustration. "It cries too easily."

James and Lily exchanged a look across the bed. Neither of them wanted to speak the obvious truth, which Sirius knew as well as they did -- Lily almost never cried.

"Emmeline's left some medicines... you'll feel better after you take those," James said. He very pointedly did not offer Sirius a tissue from the bedside table; Sirius would have refused. Cleaning that corner of the bedsheets, which he'd just used as an oversized handkerchief, could come later.

"And I'll stay with you," Lily added. "Maybe, if we just... spent some time...."

She trailed off, but Sirius nodded wordlessly. He pushed at the blankets beside him, making a spot for her. Lily glanced up at James before she took it, as if to ask, "is this okay?" -- but he immediately whispered, "Of course," and stood up.

"Just try to relax," James told them. "Everything's going to be fine."

They actually, James thought with a strange twist of guilt, looked somewhat reassured.

He watched them both for a minute before Lily whispered "Thank you," and James turned and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

He stayed there a long while just trying to breathe before moving away.

He'd meant to go straight downstairs and make a spot for himself on the sofa again. Instead he found his tired feet making a left-hand turn before he reached the stairs, and walking through an opened door. Beyond it was another room. It was half-finished, standing dark and unoccupied, and very quiet. James made his way a few steps in and shut that door too. He didn't touch the lightswitch. He just stared.

Before him was a mess of paint cans and brushes, samples of wallpaper, boxes of supplies. Irregular shadows, cast by the rising moon outside, slanted across the floor from the bars of the empty crib. James stepped up to it, resting uneasy hands on the railing, and looked at the folded baby blankets inside: gifts from his mother, before she'd died.

He glanced over his shoulder at the paint and assortment of rollers. The labels on the cans were unreadable in the darkness, but he knew that they read Prisma in magically-shifting colors. The paint would do the same thing on command. It's expensive, but it's worth it, James had told Lily, and popped a lid to show her. I mean, you won't tell me whether it's a boy or a girl, so I couldn't pick blue or pink....

You could have tried, say, green, Lily said. She softened the tease with a kiss before dipping one finger into the neutrally-colored paint, smudging it across his nose, and declaring it purple, orange, and then puce, in sequence.

James nudged one paint can with his foot, then glanced up, still hearing echoes of their shared laughter in his mind.

Atop the dresser they'd placed against one wall was a framed photo. They'd had it taken right after Lily's announcement. James took it down and stared, watching himself pick Lily up and swing her around, then gently, so gently, set her down, smiling into her hair, and holding her tightly as she beamed at the photographer, looking utterly radiant.

He watched, and remembered. Sirius had taken the photo.

Everything's going to be fine, he heard himself say, reassuring Sirius and Lily both, the two people he'd just had to rescue. But the thought stopped dead when he watched himself put a hand to Lily's stomach and grin at the camera, mouthing something at Sirius he couldn't quite read through the sudden blur in his vision.

It wasn't the two people he'd just had to rescue. It was the three of them. And he could just as easily have lost them all.

Everything's going to be fine....

James held the picture in both hands, his fingers trembling, and only realized after he'd already slid down the wall and bent his head against his folded knees that he was silently sobbing, and couldn't stop.

---

"That was a mess today," Sirius said quietly.

Lily, lying beside him, didn't say anything. She just settled in a little closer. Sirius couldn't deny it felt odd, being in bed with someone else -- someone who looked like him, of all things -- but somehow he just wanted to feel comforted, too, and only sighed a little when she put one hand on the curve of his belly.

"And I really didn't mean to get you hurt --"

"I know," Lily said.

"I just feel so responsible," he continued, feeling wretched.

She sighed again. "I know."

Sirius turned just enough that he could look at her, and see what kind of expression accompanied that sad acknowledgment. She only looked tired, really. He couldn't blame her. He'd never felt more exhausted in his life.

It took him a moment before he said anything else, and then it was a weary attempt at making her smile, somehow. It was the sort of thing he did. In the face of all this, there didn't seem to be anything else to be done.

"We lost all our groceries back there, too," he said. "And I'm quite sure I promised to come home with milk."

Lily's shoulders shook with a silent laugh -- a weak one, but a laugh nonetheless. She looked up, studying something apparently fascinating on the ceiling above. "I'm sure the fate of the world rests with those eggs I dropped."

"The world, I don't know. The fate of some chickens, maybe."

Lily turned back to him, rubbing one hand gently over his stomach, then going still. Sirius guessed what she was thinking of; he winced. Then he did the only thing he could think of to do, and covered her hand with his own.

"I could tell when I woke up that he was okay," he said softly. "You really can feel it, can't you?"

Lily nodded silently.

"And it is a boy." Sirius looked down at their clasped hands. "Somehow... I've known that ever since this happened."

"You always wanted it to be, didn't you," Lily murmured. "You and James both."

"I suppose." He looked at her. "But I'm right, aren't I?"

"Of course you are," she said softly. "Of course."

He waited a minute before asking the obvious question. "Then why did you never tell James?"

She thought before answering, too, but the reason was clear, and painfully simple. "We have so few welcome surprises anymore," she said. "I wanted at least to give him this."

Sirius blinked back what felt suspiciously like another tear. Lily, mercifully, pretended not to notice. After a minute, she said instead, "I even picked out a name for him."

"You did?"

She said it very softly. "Yes. It's Harry."

Something pricked in Sirius' memory, something James had said. "After his...."

"Yeah."

"Harry." Sirius thought of what James would think of it -- that name for this little life under his hands, waiting to meet him for the first time. "He'll like that."

Lily's answering mumble was a little less contemplative. "He better. I've already ordered the monogrammed baby clothes...."

Sirius laughed. "Well, if he doesn't, I guess there's other H names. Horace. Herb. Herman."

This time, she smiled too. "Sirius, you are cruel."

"I know another Herman who'd object."

"But ask him if he'd rather have been, say, Hugh."

He looked thoughtful. "That wouldn't be so bad a name, really...."

"I like Harry." Lily rubbed her own pregnant stomach again. "I think Harry will do quite well."

"I think Harry will do wonderfully, with such parents looking after him."

She fell silent again, but looked at him gratefully, and Sirius somehow didn't find it at all odd anymore when she put an arm around him and hugged him tightly. "I hope so," she murmured.

"I know so," he whispered back. His voice cracked a little. "You'll do better than me."

"Sirius." Lily pulled back, staring at him intently. "Don't. You didn't do anything I wouldn't have done. I trust you with him. Implicitly. I promise."

Sirius, hearing those words from Lily through his own mouth, felt stunned.

All he could do once of the weight of that sank in was to hug her again, mumbling "I'm sorry anyway" against her shoulder, and hearing her say "I'm sorry too" in return.

Not a word more was spoken. Eventually they fell asleep that way, tangled in each other's arms, breathing in each other's air, and blurring together their thoughts in a shared dream, with the baby waiting there between them for the two of them to wake.