In Curves, Not Angles

Casira

Story Summary:
Sirius and Lily aren't feeling quite themselves. In fact, they're feeling rather like... each other... (bodyswap, J/L, R/S, and all sorts of things in between.)

Chapter 05 - Chapter 5

Chapter Summary:
Wherein everyone gets home to the people they love... and to very, very different results.
Posted:
03/25/2006
Hits:
1,832

Part 5

When Lily's visitor found her, she was still sitting in the hospital corridor, drumming the fingers of her left hand against the gauze bandages on the other, her eyes closed, still waiting. She'd been treated and released, but couldn't go -- not yet. The healers there were busy and had promised her word....

She'd tilted her head back against the wall and shut her eyes when she felt someone standing over her.

"Mr. Black--"

It took a moment to remember to respond, but the familiar voice, long obeyed, made her squint upwards and then, startled, sit straight.

"Professor," she said.

"Just Dumbledore will do for now, Mr. Black," he said, sounding amused. The old wizard settled himself into place, tilting his head and watching her. Or him. Lily wondered what Dumbledore was actually seeing.

But soon the moment passed. He looked down, straightened a fold of his voluminous robes and said -- apparently to the robes, rather than her -- "I've just spoken with the healers tending to Miss Cove, and they say she will very soon be physically recovered. Miss Anstey will be staying with her. I understand she's doing very well already."

"Yes," Lily said quietly. "She seemed to have borne it well."

"Remarkably so, given the severity of their treatment." Dumbledore, somber now, looked up at her at last. "Their captors seem to have had a peculiarly morbid sense of humor. But there's no helping that now, I'm afraid. I must indeed thank you, in fact, for your handling of the case. Alastor's report was quite positive, and both Mary and Lindy seem very grateful to you."

Lily (who heard the nickname and wondered who'd used it first) flushed, embarrassed. Dumbledore obviously recognized this in her expression and said, "They wanted to assure you all was as well as it could be."

"I just had to be sure --"

"Of course." Dumbledore gave her a kindly smile. "But your duty is discharged now, and as for you -- how are you feeling?"

Lily blinked, then looked at her hand and made a face as she experimentally flexed her fingers. The skin was almost fully mended, but it still tingled uncomfortably. "Passing fair," she said. "But I hope this heals soon."

Dumbledore bent closer, giving her bound hand a good look. "Ward burns," he said, frowning as he closed his hand gently over hers. "They do take time. But it will improve."

"Fully, I hope?"

Her voice sounded anxious even to her. Lily sighed. It's one thing if the wound's mine, she thought, but another if it's his --

Dumbledore gave it a speculative look, then glanced up.

"Perhaps just a bit to help it along," he said, his tone of voice unreadable. Lily watched as he murmured a more complex version of the spell placed on her earlier, and hissed in a breath -- for just a second it had burned again, more fiercely than before. But when the flare of pain faded, it faded cleanly, into a simpler, duller ache. Whatever lingering bits of magic had been left were now all burned away.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

He let go of her hand. "Not a common spell, that one, but handy to know." He gently clapped a hand to her shoulder. "Now if I were you, I'd be getting home. Your husband is waiting for you."

The sentence was so casual that it took a few seconds to sink in. When it did, she stared up at Dumbledore in abject shock.

"My--" she repeated, uselessly.

Dumbledore said nothing; he merely smiled, waved, and turned to make his way down the corridor, pausing only to offer a sweet to a child clutching a nurse's hand. Lily kept watching, astounded, until he was out the ward door and out of sight.

While she was staring, she felt someone walk up behind her. "All right," came a familiar voice. "I've heard a lot of people joke about Sirius and James, but I never expected it from him."

Lily turned and gave Peter a suspicious look. There were a thousand possible things she could have cracked back in reply, but instead she heard herself asking, "Heard who?"

He gave her an impish grin. "Only joking." He put a hand on her shoulder. "Let's get you home."

---

Sirius was asleep, which made things seem almost normal.

Lily's body lost Sirius' pose, attitude and mannerisms as soon as he slipped under -- except when dreams made him twitch and mumble something in an undertone almost low enough to sound like his normal voice. But otherwise James just saw his wife, curled up into one corner of the sofa, with one hand resting on the curve of her belly. The pose looked relaxed, but protective....

And so like Lily.

James slipped down beside her, unable for that moment to think of anything but "her", and sighed. The letter from Dumbledore, who'd owled from St. Mungo's to say Lily was fine, was still in his left hand; his right reached up to gently brush a lock of hair off her forehead.

She was all right, she was all right, but he just wanted her home--

As if in answer, a soft musical chime began to ring out from the door. James looked up. It wasn't a doorbell, but a passive ward they'd placed around the edge of the property. Anyone who approached on foot -- it didn't screen the Floo, for that was already protected -- would trip one of a set of tones. Anyone unknown played a neutral pulse; known friends played major chords; known enemies, broken chords. Lily's idea.

James had adjusted the spell when she wasn't looking. Whenever Lily got near the house, it played one of their favorite songs.

"I've seen love go by my door," he sang along, leaning in close against his almost-Lily. "It's never been this close before...."

Lily's shoulder shifted a little. "God, James," he heard her voice mumble. "There's a reason McGonagall was relieved when we quit the choir."

And there was Sirius again.

James pulled back from where he'd been nestled into the curve of Lily's neck, and very lightly cuffed the back of her head instead. "At least I wasn't the one who charmed all the sopranos to sing like basses that one time...."

Sirius snorted out a laugh. His smirk looked supremely ironic on Lily's face, who hadn't been terribly amused at the time.

James watched it a moment, pondering, before the door opened.

"Hi, honey," Lily drawled in Sirius' voice. "I'm home."

James smiled and got up. Peter, behind them, smiled a little in greeting, while James and Lily gave each other a long, relieved hug. "Hey," Peter said.

"Hey," James heard Sirius reply. "You're back. You're okay-- your hand. Wait. No one said anything about your hand. What's wrong with your hand?"

Lily unwound her arms from around James' back, looking with brief sheepishness at it. James hadn't even seen the bandages -- he stared just as intently as Sirius was doing. "I... burned it a little, but it's been thoroughly treated--" she began.

"Burned?"

James looked up at her. "Are you all right?"

Sirius' voice raised up a notch. "Is she all right? It's my hand!"

"It's all right, Sirius," Lily said, just a bit impatiently. "The healers saw to it, Dumbledore saw to it... it's fine." She tugged at the gauze, unwinding it quickly and holding up her hand, palm outward. The skin looked slightly reddened, but whole.

"There, see?" James said, glancing over his shoulder at Sirius. He took Lily's hand and kissed it lightly. "No harm done."

Lily made a pleased little noise and hugged him tighter. Sirius laughed at the sight. "Better watch out how cuddly you're getting there, James," he said. "You might end up a bloody shirt-lifter."

James grinned back. "You don't seem that displeased that it's you I'm molesting."

"It's not like I mind that sort of thing," Sirius said with a shrug. "Just don't get too attached. By the way, where's my boyfriend?"

"Still at work," Peter said. "I stopped by after I left. He's getting held late. He's going to your flat as soon as he gets off, though...."

Sirius peered at him. "Mine? Not here?"

Peter shrugged. "I thought after all this you'd feel better being at home for a little while."

Sirius made a half-smile. "Sometimes, Wormtail, you're downright perceptive."

Peter made the sort of expression James had seen on his face many times: the one somewhere between being pleased and wondering if he was meant to be. Sirius, James thought, really can be an ass with him.

"It's a good idea, Peter," James said, in some attempt at softening things. "Remus can keep an eye on him there, then. And we can actually have a night in our own bed --" He paused and coughed, looking almost guiltily at Lily in Sirius' body. "I mean to sleep."

"That's okay," Lily said, suppressing a laugh. "Sleep is good...."

No one, James noticed, commented on the fact that he still had his arm tightly around her. James, though, made sure he disengaged before anyone could say anything.

"I'll just... go home, then," Peter said, waving a little distractedly. "But I can stop in again before work..."

"Thanks, Peter," Lily said. "You shouldn't feel obligated, though."

"I just want to help," Peter said. His voice was even, but quiet. "I got you into this -- I want to help get you out. Or be sure you're okay until it happens."

"It's all right," James said. "You're always welcome, you know that."

Peter nodded slightly, murmuring a thanks.

With that, there was a faint grunt from the sofa. "Well. I better Floo my way back home -- I've got someone waiting for me," Sirius said, slowly and carefully standing up. He grinned at James. "Don't have too much fun while I'm gone."

James made a wry smile back at him. "You either."

Sirius chortled. "Not that it wouldn't be interesting, but..." He spread his hands and looked down.

"It's not like it's impossible," Lily said, arching one eyebrow.

"No, but I'm putting it on my 'I don't really want to find out' list," Sirius said, leaning over to brush an airy kiss across her cheek. "And for God's sake, get James to show you how to shave. Carefully."

He waved, grabbed a handful of Floo powder from the small bucket beside the fireplace, and stepped in, calling out, "360 Martin, 3A."

The spell, recognizing the address as one on their approved list, flared bright green, and Sirius vanished.

"I better go, too," Peter said, when the air had stopped audibly rushing into the space Sirius had occupied. When James gestured toward the fireplace too, Peter shook his head. "I think I'll go on foot. Could still use the fresh air...."

Lily smiled. "What, the walk back wasn't enough?"

"That was for you," Peter said, smiling too as he shrugged his coat tighter over his shoulders. "This one's for me. I'll see you later."

When he went out, James could hear the door lock itself behind him.

All at once the room was very quiet. As conscious of the emptiness of the space as he now was, James had to notice just how close he was standing to Lily. He cleared his throat and stepped a few inches sideways.

Then he thought of where they were going.

"Merlin," Lily sighed, sounding like she was trying not to yawn. "I will be so glad to just get into that bed...."

James coughed again.

She glanced at him. "Got something in your throat?"

"Nothing in particular," he said weakly. "Let's go upstairs."

---

When Remus got to 360 Martin, he was exhausted, and didn't wait for Sirius to come to the door. Instead of knocking, he tapped his wand to the door and listened to the latch unhook.

It swung open to reveal a dimly lit room -- Sirius' usual evening light level, low for comfort, spot lights only for reading or preparing drinks or smokes. Everything felt so familiar, felt so right, that he felt his throat seize up when he looked toward the bed and saw Lily lying there.

Lily. Pregnant. So, no to the drinks or smokes, obviously. Remus glanced around; the only book in sight was turned face-down on the bedstand, but the table lamp was on anyway. Remus carefully shut the door behind him.

Sirius, hearing the click, sat up a little. "Moony," he said.

He still couldn't get used to that. Lily had never called him Moony, not even when he'd told her the story, that time some days after the prank, after he'd learned Sirius betrayed him and he needed someone to talk to --

He was so tired that past and present blurred before his eyes for a moment, and it hurt again, and then seeing Lily in Sirius' bed just didn't make sense....

"Moony," Sirius said, more softly. "What's wrong?"

Remus dropped his old, battered bag, rubbed his eyes, and blinked at something else entirely, trying not to think. "I'm just tired," he said. "Not... the best day ever."

"I know the feeling," Sirius said wryly. Remus managed to crack a smile, and went to sit beside him. Her. It still didn't quite connect.

"You all right?" Remus said. Sirius shrugged and shifted against the pillows. Remus helped arrange them behind him, making it more comfortable.

"Better, now that she's back." Sirius glanced up at Remus. "Do you have any idea how nerve-wracking it is, knowing someone in your body is roaming around with it, doing things totally out of your control?"

Remus' lip twitched. "In a very twisted sort of way, yes."

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut and slumped back on the pillows. His voice sounded worn at the edges. "Sorry. I'm an idiot."

"Of course you are," Remus said softly. "And I'm here to steer you right."

Sirius let out a low chuckle. "Just as long as I don't steer you straight."

Remus, looking down at Lily's body, tried not to say anything.

"But you're tired," Sirius said, shifting over a little to make room. "Here. What happened at work?"

Remus stretched out on the bed -- the one Sirius had bought so it would be long enough for Remus' legs. He closed his eyes. "Nothing important. Absolutely nothing. Just hours and hours of...."

"Nothing?" Sirius suggested, in a whisper directly into his ear.

Remus let out one wry laugh and nodded. "Approximately two-hundred and forty-six metric tons of bugger-all."

"As tired as you are I'd have thought it would be at least three hundred," Sirius teased.

"I get the rest of it tomorrow," Remus said sleepily. "Along with another four hundred or so...."

Sirius kissed his cheek. That felt familiar too... gentle, slow, and that long hair brushing his cheek, smelling like--

-- spring days and the flower that was her namesake, sweet and fragile -- not that Lily was at all fragile. "You know I'm here if you need me," she said, her hand still resting on his shoulder, thumb brushing his neck.

Remus shivered at the memory, feeling suddenly uncomfortable and out of place. "I think I need a glass of water," he said, swinging one leg over the edge of the bed.

"No," Sirius murmured, tugging back on his arm. "Stay with me."

Remus fell back into place, turned slightly toward Sirius, who gave him a look so much like Lily's that day that it spun him -- a gentle entreaty, something meant for the both of them. He sighed.

"I know it's been a few days," Remus said, guessing at what he actually wanted. "I wish we... but...."

"I'm not asking anything," Sirius said. "Not... Merlin, not like this -- would be bloody strange. But I can't sleep without you here."

Remus swallowed the strangeness of the situation when he heard the undercurrents weakening Sirius' voice. He reached up to brush back Lily's hair, massage gently down her neck... Sirius' neck, that was, and Sirius' sigh at the touch. "I'm sorry," Remus murmured.

"We gotta get this fixed," Sirius whispered back. "I need me back. I need you...."

"Ssh," Remus said, shaking his head. And for lack of anything else he could possibly have done, he kissed him.

For a moment Sirius didn't respond. Then he sighed, and Remus parted his lips to draw it in. They kissed slowly, warmly, and Remus felt himself melting into it -- only hampered by trying to forget the shape of her lips, the smoother skin he felt when he lifted his hand to hold her steady --

Sirius broke off first, laughing. "This... is seriously fucked."

At any other time, Remus might have made the inevitable pun -- no, you're about to get seriously fucked -- but he didn't quite manage it. He was too tired for puns, and too confused to make intentional muddles when everything was... well, muddled already.

"Should we be doing this?" Remus murmured.

Unbidden, something else flashed through his mind:

"This isn't a good idea," he said, his voice full of regret.

Lily nodded slowly, her fingers still resting on his collarbones. "I know...."


Remus pulled back farther, breathing roughly. The memory was from a few weeks after the prank, that awful full moon when Sirius had sent Snape after him in the Shack -- it was so clear, so damned clear. Fresher, Remus thought, than it should have been.

For a moment it was quiet, until he opened his eyes again and Sirius looked back, confused. "Remus?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

"You can tell me," Lily whispered. "I promise I won't tell anyone else."

"I was just..." He stopped, shaking his head. "Doesn't matter."

Sirius crept forward again. "I know it's confusing," he said, smiling faintly. "But even if I'm not -- exactly me -- you're still just the same as you always were...."

Sirius kissed him again, deeper this time. Remus moaned into his mouth, giving in.

Just the same as you always were--

But before it had been different.

Lily was with James, almost, or at least starting to honestly like him, and Remus maybe wasn't with Sirius anymore He still liked other boys, desired them, wanted Sirius more than anything he could think of. Even now that he thought having Sirius was impossible he still felt his blood pound every time they saw each other, passed in the halls, brushed together accidentally. So why--

--why, Merlin, why was he kissing Lily, feeling her mould against his body and twine her fingers into his hair, whispering something against his lips, doing this behind James' back when James was the only reason Snape wasn't dead at Remus' hands, when James saved Remus from getting thrown out or killed or worse, why was Lily holding him and letting him cry --


"Lily," he whispered desperately, pulling her close.

...but he knew underneath it all he was there because there was nowhere else to go until he could find out the most important why -- or learn not to let it matter anymore....

There was a strange feeling of shock that passed from Lily's body into his, and it startled Remus' eyes open.

"What?" Sirius said, staring at him.

The question, quiet and awkward, stirred Remus the rest of the way from the memory. "Sirius?" he whispered.

He kept staring. "What did you just say?"

Remus blinked, feeling confused. He'd never seen quite that look on Lily's face -- or Sirius' face -- before. "Your name," he answered.

Sirius laid very still for a minute, his eyes going cold.

"What?" Remus asked this time.

Sirius' voice was dark. "Before that you used the wrong one."

Remus stared, thought back a few sentences, then suddenly gulped. "God." He took in another deep breath. "Sirius, I didn't mean--"

"I know this is totally fucked up, but you could at least remember who it is you're really kissing."

"Sirius."

He sat up sharply -- or as sharply as he could manage around a six-month pregnancy. Remus sat up with him. "God damn it, Remus, do I want to know why you moaned her name the same way you moan mine?"

Remus felt like screaming, or maybe crying. He was so tired, and this wasn't -- wasn't....

"It was so long ago," Remus said, trying to get Sirius to meet his eyes. "It was in school -- it was after...." Something in his voice hardened. "You know what after. It happened and was over. It doesn't matter now. But God, Sirius, you look just like her and I'm so tired and I still can remember it all when you kiss me like that, and it's too much." He realized he was bending half-over, his head in his hands. "I'm sorry. But I'm so damn tired."

Sirius looked away, the silence sharp and cold for a long moment. "You never said."

Remus gave an awkward shrug, whether Sirius was watching him or not. "I wanted things to be back to normal. I wanted it done. Saying would've... made it worse. And I guess... part of me didn't really want to be fair."

It felt strangely cathartic saying that, as horrible as Remus knew it was. Sirius had deserved something after all that, and keeping that affair, such as it was, as a secret was the only revenge Remus could have and still get Sirius back.

Again there was silence for a minute before Sirius rubbed a hand over his face, looking exhausted. "What about James?"

"It was before, a little," Remus said. "They weren't exactly dating yet. They only started talking after James -- well, the prank. You know."

Sirius looked back over his shoulder, and when he spoke his voice was brittle. "Don't start throwing that back at me now."

"It's ancient history, yes," Remus said, his throat tightening. "That's my entire point."

Sirius, for his part, pointed at the pillows. "That kiss was not ancient history."

"Oh, hell...."

Sirius stared, his eyes hard. "Are you still in love with her?"

"Sirius --"

"Just answer the fucking question!"

Remus raised his head. Lily's face was all he could see: red hair tousled and tumbling all around her, cheeks burning with the heat of her anger, green eyes so brilliant they overwhelmed him.

The last time he'd had to answer this question, she hadn't been furious.

"Tell me if you love me, and tell me now, because I think I might -- might love James. Really." She was laughing, somehow, although tears were streaking down her face. "I don't know why, but I do. And it might be real, might mean something, but I'm not going to turn away from you if... I mean, you were first, and --"

Remus could remember every breath, every fracture of his heart as it threatened to break. Caught in the middle, bound to lose at least one person, and the only way to not lose everything else was to let her go....

"I don't love Lily," he said again, not breaking contact with those beautiful green eyes. It was only a little easier this time.

Sirius didn't say anything. Finally he sagged back down onto the bed, not looking at Remus. "Maybe you don't." His fingers fidgeted with the edge of the blankets, then gripped tightly. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, Moony, I'm so, so sorry, I wasn't thinking -- I just wanted... give me another chance. I'll make it worth it, I swear."

Remus felt his hands shake. "I know," he whispered.

"But maybe I need to sleep alone tonight," Sirius finished softly, his face half-turned into the pillow.

Remus looked down, seeing Lily's hair spilling out across Sirius' pillow, seeing Sirius' hunched-in, leave-me-alone pose curling Lily's body away from him. He looked, then shook his head and got up, pressing one hand to his mouth for a minute before he let it helplessly fall.

"Fine," he whispered. "Fine."

"Moony...."

Sirius sounded tired, regretful... and in pain, Remus knew. For a split second he didn't care. When it ended, he looked down and saw Lily just as she'd looked when Remus had given in and walked away -- leaving her to James and him to whatever he could manage with Sirius... and with whatever he and Lily had, gone.

"Goodnight, Sirius," Remus said quietly, and flicked off the bedside lamp so he wouldn't have to see her anymore.

---

Lily got into the bedroom first, breathing a faint sigh of relief at the familiar surroundings. Sirius and Remus had slept here last night, and although she hadn't begrudged them this -- she wanted Sirius to be comfortable -- after all the strangeness of the day, she had to admit she wanted something normal.

She also had to admit she wanted something else, but that seemed impractical, even with James standing so close beside her.

"I'm so glad you're home safe," James whispered again as he shut the door. When he turned back, he was looking at her hand. "Are you sure that's all right? I know warding-off spells can be vicious..."

She nodded. "I'm good enough." She wiggled her fingers. "Dumbledore healed the worst of it."

"Clearly you've got all your mobility...."

"'Course." She made a fist, released it, turned it around and flipped him off, ducked his swinging hand in retaliation....

"Hah," she laughed. "Not fast enough."

"Oh, yeah?" James lunged forward, grinning, and reached like he was going to tickle her -- then his laugh got a little nervous, and he stopped, standing back just a bit. "I... could get you any time I want, you know that."

Lily arched an eyebrow at him. Don't turn your attempts at a dodge into a double entendre, Potter, was what she wanted to say, but he'd clearly gotten there all on his own, for his face had turned bright red.

It was still altogether too adorable when he blushed.

"Oh, James," she said with a long sigh. "I'm just... glad to be home."

He nodded, looking down at the letter he was still holding. "You can stay home, too, with me. Dumbledore's promised to keep you off active duty until you and Sirius can straighten this thing out."

"Does anyone else know?"

"I doubt it." James smiled a little. "I think we can publicly just call this time off in reward for a job well-done."

Lily nodded back at him, watching as he set the letter on the bedside table, and drummed his fingers on it. In that moment he looked unsure of what to do, exactly. Lily all at once felt the same, and glanced at the window, watching the tree branches outside sway against the dark window.

"James," she said, sounding uneasy, "I'm... really not sure how long this is going to take."

He looked at her. "You'll talk with him. Really talk with him. Tomorrow. And... if all else fails we will find something else."

James was standing very close now, his hands reaching up to rest comfortably on her shoulders. Lily breathed in deeply, just feeling that for a moment, letting James soothe her. As the seconds passed, they both moved infinitesimally closer, until they were standing almost too close not to embrace. Finally Lily just gave in and let him hold her.

She decided not to worry about whose form she was taking, because even if they fit together differently, it still felt so good to be in James' arms again that she buried her face in his hair (she couldn't tuck herself against his shoulder; she was too tall this way) and almost cried. He sighed and tightened his arms around her, murmuring, "It's all right."

"I hope so," she whispered back, muffled against his hair.

It was easy, perhaps too easy, to touch him the way she was used to, sliding her hands up and down his back in simple, comfortable patterns. It did feel different, like this -- they were maybe a little closer, flatter against each other's bodies -- but he was still so warm, his breathing so familiar, that she felt right here, for the first time in days. So she held on, softly relaxing into his arms. It felt good.

Perhaps, she slowly realized, a little too good.

She tried not to let that tight, intense feeling escalate, but it was a challenge, and it was a moment before she felt that James was getting tense as well, and almost trying to back away.

"James?" she asked.

James coughed, drawing back to arms' length. "I... think after a day like this, you... really ought to rest. I could get you some cocoa or something...."

Lily looked at the color in his cheeks, heard the stammer in his voice, and realized all at once this was happening to them both.

"James," she said, smiling gently, "It's just me."

He immediately went redder. Obviously, she thought, he knows I know.

"It isn't just you," he said awkwardly, running a hand through his hair. "It's not you, too, and I don't know what to do when I'm feeling like this."

Lily gave him a long, scrutinizing look. That sentence could have been read any number of ways... and she had to admit she was curious. "You don't know because it's not just me, or don't know because it's me in Sirius and you're still attracted?"

James' eyes went wider. Lily, shrewdly, kept going.

"Or because it's Sirius," she murmured, "and not just me?"

James sputtered something that Lily shushed with a hand over his mouth. James gulped. Lily watched him there for a few seconds; he looked so stunned, did poor James, like he'd finally been caught at a massive prank and was about to have to confess everything. He does, she thought, with some amount of wonder. He does want Sirius. Or at least he wants to know....

She stepped a little closer, still muffling him, and gave him the exact I'm-up-to-something smile he always said made him nervous -- and was sure to be worse from Sirius' face.

"It's okay to say yes, you know," she said, very patiently. "I'd rather know than not."

She felt, more than heard, James try to reply. "Bwut yurrr my wff."

"And you've never done anything with Sirius before, have you?"

He paused just long enough before shaking his head that Lily had to wonder -- but it couldn't have been much, or he wouldn't have been wanting.

"So," she said. She tried to arch an eyebrow, but it didn't quite work on Sirius' face. She settled for curving both. "Why be nervous about wanting both of us?"

His eyes nearly bugged out. "Mrff!"

"James, you're slobbering."

"Wrstfrgle."

Not knowing what that word was meant to be, she finally dropped her hand, and moved back enough to give him a good, long look. "James," she said, her voice a little ragged, "I could have died today. I haven't kissed my husband in over two days. I haven't had any decent sex in weeks, either -- which is my own body's fault, not yours." She forestalled the blow to his ego as quickly as she could, and lifted her slightly-dampened hand so he'd clamp his mouth shut before she could help. "And now I'm in this new body that is, well, very... susceptible, and you're curious, and it's still us, James. It's not cheating. Exactly." She gave him a stern look. "As long as you still know it's me in here."

"Of course -- and God, Lily, I can't believe it's you suggesting this."

Which meant he'd thought of it, too. Lily gave him a slightly twisted smile.

"I always thought Sirius was a horny bastard," she said. "I think I'm getting punished for being right." She stepped forward, closer to James, who wasn't moving away. "And I have got..." One more step. She could feel his heat from here. "...to get these hormones of his to shut up."

James was breathing hard, his glasses slipping halfway down his nose. "Lily. I. Lil, are you sure--"

In what felt almost like Sirius' move rather than hers, she snaked a hand down between his legs -- and oh, yes, she thought, as he gasped raggedly, he was definitely already hard.

"I think you are," she said.

He gaped. "Oh, God. Lily."

She let him feel that for a moment, almost lost in the delicious strangeness of touching him with different hands. Then, utterly without warning, she moved, took his hand, and slid it over her own erection.

"So how about me?" she whispered, around a jolt of heightened desire.

James made a strangled sound not unlike the one he'd just made beneath her hand. He looked overwhelmed, dazed, like nothing in the world was going to make him give a coherent reply....

But he was slowly beginning to respond.

Feeling her arousal build into a much deeper, hotter fire, Lily pressed forward. And his mouth was open and waiting when she kissed him.

Much later, after they'd rediscovered each other in ways Lily had never thought would be possible, she let out a quiet, pleasure-filled moan and sagged down, slipping away from James as carefully as she could manage. They'd never even made it to the bed. She barely cared. She just sprawled out, breathed deep, then carefully rolled over to face her husband. James looked exhausted when she could focus on him again -- utterly shagged out in the best possible way. He blinked nearsightedly at her, then smiled, slowly, and curled closer.

"You're fucking incredible," he murmured, running fingers through her long hair. It may have been black, and straighter than her own, but this felt familiar, and she sighed a little, still shivering as she tried to come down.

"Me or Sirius?" she asked sleepily.

James kissed her quiet. "Both of you," he said, his voice soft. "But especially you."

She smiled a little, letting her eyes drift shut under his touch.

James whispered something else, some other spell, that softened the rug they were lying on until it felt almost as comfortable as a mattress. She sighed with the feel of that, and the cleaning charm that washed over her skin, and James' hands on her -- which in any body at all felt wonderful beyond measure....

Even though she had to say so, had to, and tried to mumble at least some of it while he stroked her hair, she was feeling just as exhausted as he looked. It was only a minute or two before he'd lulled her almost asleep. The last thing she remembered was James kissing her softly and saying, "And next time, I want you...."

"Me too," she whispered, or thought she did... but by then everything had gone quiet, and she'd slid into real sleep at last.