In Curves, Not Angles

Part 2

James really didn't know much what to say, watching his wife and his best friend pace around Sirius' flat. And that was a literal phrasing, in a demented sort of way. His wife was doing the pacing, in Sirius' body. Sirius, on the other hand, was sitting very still in hers.

"How did this happen?" James finally asked.

At the question, Lily's green eyes rolled upwards in an expression so like Sirius' that James had no choice but to believe it was him in there. "We don't know, " Sirius said.

"Well, what was going on last night? Something must have started this!"

There was an awkward silence.

James sat back. The two of them looked at him; he raised his eyebrows. Finally Lily shot a sharp look at Sirius. "Well, we were fighting," she said eventually.

"What?"

Sirius sighed. "Just the usual, Prongs, keep your hat on--"

James bristled anyway. Sirius and Lily had never been best friends, but he still hated seeing them go at each other. "What about, this time?"

Sirius sat silent for a moment. Lily filled in the blanks. "He was drunk already," she said mildly, watching him all the while. "And said a few not particularly sensitive things."

James' voice went quiet and slightly dangerous. "Like what?"

Sirius tried to shrug it off, but he looked nervous. "Just... not about the sprog, but about Lily and the hormones and -- I wasn't thinking, James."

"You haven't been for months," Lily said, eyes blazing. "You have been the least considerate man ever, Sirius Black, when it comes to handling women."

James watched Sirius-as-Lily slouch into the chair, as if to disappear.

"Bloody hell," he muttered. "It's like watching my own conscience give me a lecture."

"Maybe you ought to listen to yourself for once, then," Lily said, and James thought he saw a flash of humor in her expression. Sirius either didn't see it or ignored it, and studied the ceiling instead.

"What I'm wondering," James said, "is if someone was listening to you last night."

"I don't think -- well, Peter might have heard us -- he came into the kitchen for some water," Lily said slowly.

"Remus followed him in," Sirius added. As he spoke, James turned to the fireplace and snatched up a handful of Floo powder.

Sirius turned to Lily, head tilting. "Did you hear anyone else?"

Before Lily could reply, James began shouting out names, and tossed the powder into the fire.

"Not wasting any time, I see," Lily murmured behind him.

"What, you'd rather wait to make sure everyone's awake before we call?" Sirius grumbled back. James glared over his shoulder. They both fell silent.

In the time it took that exchange to happen, both summons were received, and quickly answered. Peter stumbled through first, still adjusting the sleeve of his t-shirt (clearly just pulled on to replace his nightclothes), and then Remus stepped out, blinking around him at the state of Sirius' apartment but looking much more at ease in it than Peter did.

Hmph, James thought as Remus turned back to Sirius -- or at least Sirius' body -- and lingered there, studying him. Wonder if he'll notice the problem first.

"Moony," Sirius said from Lily's mouth. He sounded somewhere between relieved and nervous as hell. "Merlin. I don't know how to say this, but...."

He stared. "Lil?"

James tried not to flinch at Remus using affectionate nicknames; he concentrated instead on the uncertainty. Remus could clearly tell there was something amiss; his eyebrows were lowered, his mouth turned in a slight frown, and he had twitched slightly at the "Moony" -- as far as James knew, Lily had never called him that.

"I'm not quite Lily," Sirius replied, his voice strained.

Peter sat down next to him, asking, "Are you all right?"

"Not quite," Lily echoed, crossing Sirius' arms.

"We're trying to figure out exactly what happened at that party last night. Lil and Pads" -- James waved a hand between the two of them -- "seem to have... well...."

"What?" Remus asked, although the note of worry in his voice indicated he had a suspicion already.

"We got swapped," Lily explained at last. "We're trying to figure out why and by whom."

"Swapped," Remus repeated faintly.

"I'm not sure how it was even done," James said.

Peter grinned. "Must've worked perfectly. I've never heard Sirius use the word 'whom' in his life."

"Hey," Sirius grumbled, and then sat up as straight as he could manage. "Why do you not sound surprised?"

Peter cleared his throat. James shot a stare at him. "Peter Pettigrew, if you know anything about this...."

He looked like he was trying to suppress a smile, and ducked his head. "Well... actually...."

The whole room exploded at once with, "WHAT?!"

"Hey, hey!" Peter held up his hands, recoiling a bit. "It's harmless! I swear! Easily reversed! Just having a little fun...."

"Fun?" Sirius demanded. listing toward Peter as threateningly as he could -- which wasn't very, but he was trying. "You call this fun?"

"Not for you, necessarily," Peter said, a little put off. "But... well, yes, and it's also to prove a point."

James watched Remus sit forward a little. If Remus was going to play moderator as he usually did, James thought, he better leave Moony to it. James wasn't sure if he could talk, or move, or breathe, for that matter, without strangling Peter. His hands were twitching; he sat on them before he could reach for his wand.

Fortunately, Remus' saner voice was the first to speak. "What kind of point exactly were you trying to make?" he asked. He reached out as he spoke to stop Lily from walking forward any further. She muttered something incomprehensible, but stayed put.

Peter watched her, making a face. "The point -- well. I mean. You two were just...."

"Spit it out, Wormtail."

"You're just nasty," Peter said at last, directing it to Sirius in bitter reply. "Last night was too much. First you weren't talking, then you were all sarcastic at each other, then in the kitchen I heard you calling Lily a bossy, frigid bitch--"

"You called my wife what?"

"--and you snapped back at Sirius that he was just as bad as the rest of the Blacks after all, if not worse--"

"Oh, Lily," Remus whispered, disappointed.

"and I'm sick to death of listening to my friends fighting like this," Peter finished, shaking his head and looking at his hands. "It's too much. I had to... had to do something."

The outburst, unusual for Peter, made Sirius look away. Lily ducked her head a bit, but her lips were still twisted as she glanced the other direction. Remus watched her, murmuring, "So the point of all this, your reaction to them fighting... was to make them walk in each other's shoes for a while."

James folded his arms. "You figured they'd freak out and come to their senses."

Peter twitched, but nodded. "I hoped so."

Sirius was still staring at him. After a minute he whispered, "The bloody nerve--"

"It's harmless!" Peter insisted again. "Other than the nausea, which goes away, obviously, it doesn't do anything to you. Just sticks your mind" -- he pointed at Lily's body -- "in that body" -- he pointed at Sirius' -- "and vice versa 'til it's done."

"And how," said Lily with excruciating patience, "does it get done?"

Peter fidgeted again. "Well, if it had done what it was supposed to, it would be done already."

James felt a muscle twitch in his jaw. He stood up, ignoring Remus' murmured suggestion to stay seated, and glared down at Peter until he shrank back like the cornered rat he was. "Tell me," he said flatly, "what we have to do."

Peter waved his hands a little, almost helplessly. "It's so simple. Honestly. The charm's tied back into what they were fighting about, so if that's solved, so are they."

James twitched. "Give me simple directions, Peter, because I'm thinking of very simple, very painful one-word spells right about now."

Peter shrank back even further into the chair. He quickly gathered in a breath, though, and said, "All they have to do is apologize and mean it."

James stared at him a minute. "That's it?"

"That's it. Really, I promise."

The whole room fell silent as they stared at each other. James could hear birds chirping, the distant sound of people talking on the street, Sirius cracking Lily's knuckles --

"Stop that," James and Lily muttered simultaneously after two pops. Sirius reluctantly did.

"What are we waiting for, exactly?" James finally asked.

"Apologize." Sirius repeated slowly, as if he were thinking over the meaning of the word. "You just want us to apologize?"

Peter, his lips pressed tightly together, nodded.

Sirius looked up at Lily. "Really," he said.

"Uh-huh."

Another two heartbeats thudded by. Then all at once Sirius and Lily both burst out shouting, one over the other --

"Apologize. Are you insane?"

"To him?"

"To her?!"

James saw Remus gape at the face-off, then drop his head into his hands.

"This is not what I'd expected," Peter said nervously, as Sirius and Lily continued to bicker.

And "Fucking hell," was all James could manage, before he joined Remus in a hand-to-forehead slump of denial.

---

"This is absolutely ridiculous, you know that."

"Yes, I'd rather figured that out for myself."

"And Sirius would very much like to get back into his own body --"

"I'll bet he does."

"So why haven't you two at least started the conversation?"

Lily ignored James then; she was in the middle of a good, long stretch, popping joints and rolling shoulders and twisting at the waist, and feeling so good at the freedom of movement that all she could do was hum low in reply.

James slumped a little, exasperation fading down into something like defeat. "You're enjoying this entirely too much, you know."

She may have been the only one who was. After the disastrous conversation in Sirius' flat, they'd gone by Floo to the Order's private wizarding library, tucked away in an unobtrusive building in Bloomsbury. Once Sirius got through the transit with no ill effects, Lily relaxed a little, and searched the stacks with everyone else for hints of what else they might do to break this charm. But soon she realized how good it felt just to walk, and reach for the books, and climb ladders and perch on chairs and lift things....

Sirius did have a good, strong body, and she was having a wonderful time using it.

While James looked on, Lily smiled and bent to touch her toes. A full bend, she thought, feeling almost giddy. She let her fingertips brush Sirius' feet, touching the tip of his toe through the hole in the left sock, then stretched tall again, and sighed back down.

Across the room, Remus, who'd been trying to reason with Sirius (and had about as much effect as James had had on Lily), had obviously lost focus on both that and the books he was reading, and was beginning to stare.

"Stop distracting the werewolf," James muttered.

Lily, who was stretching her shoulders and flexing her arms, gave Remus a good, if perplexed, look. After a few seconds she realized just what kind of stare he was giving her....

"Um," she said, frozen mid-move. Remus blinked and blushed, then turned away. As Lily sheepishly pulled down her rucked-up shirt to cover her exposed stomach, Sirius glared at them both.

"Remember who it is you're ogling," Sirius muttered at Remus.

"You could consider it a compliment...." Peter ventured hesitantly.

They all stopped glaring at each other long enough to glare at him. He shut up.

"All right," James eventually sighed. "Making any progress over there, Pettigrew?"

Peter, seated at a table laden with spellbooks, shook his head and flipped a page. He didn't look happy. "I did it right the first time," he muttered under his breath, almost too quietly to be heard.

Lily decided it was time to join them, and sat, straddling a chair, across from Peter and beside Remus. Remus pushed a book toward her, open to a page headed by Spells of Transformation and Exchange. "There might be something useful here," he said.

Sirius glanced at it. "If it's the Keller, don't bother. I read that book way too many times. There's nothing we can use for this."

Lily looked at it anyway, reading down the page to see what all it covered. Transformation, exchange, and most prominently, despite the title, transfiguration....

The topic resonated somewhere in her mind, but without much detail -- then slowly, worryingly, it came clear, and she found herself looking at Sirius -- at herself -- across the table.

He was flicking through another book, glaring at page after page with sharp eyes. While Remus was studiously perusing each volume and Peter flipped from one to the other with a speed that bordered on the too-hasty -- and James tried to shepherd him around, then read bits by himself and frowned a lot, while chewing on his quill -- Sirius knew what he needed, and went after it exclusively, incisively, quickly discarding the rest.

But -- as she always wondered about him -- was he giving enough consideration to anything else?

"Sirius," she said slowly.

He didn't look up. "What?"

"Have -- you seen anything about, or tried, since...." She swallowed suddenly. "God, Sirius, you can't."

He finally raised his head, eyebrows drawn in confusion. Everyone quickly followed suit. Lily pushed herself upright, hands braced on either side of the book -- which seemed to be screaming at her to explain.

"Transfiguration," she said. "You -- know how, and I don't know if it would work when you're me, but right now, whatever you do... don't try."

James stared, then suddenly went pale. "Oh, Merlin."

Remus, glancing between the two of them, reached to another book on the table and flipped it open, slowly paging through until he reached one of the middle chapters. A rather sick look crossed his face, then after a deep breath, he read, "'Women who are aware they are pregnant must never attempt to transfigure themselves. In the earliest stages, the child is unformed enough to be carried harmlessly, but the more developed the baby becomes, the less control the mother has. Once the pregnancy is far enough along to be apparent, animagus transformations are no longer safe, and will almost always lead to miscarriage or death of both mother and child...."

He trailed off.

Sirius, his arms curling around his stomach, whispered, "I think I skimmed that chapter the first time... great Merlin."

"You hadn't honestly thought you'd try--"

"No," he said, shaking his head violently, "not like this. But..." He paused, looking up at Remus. "How many days?"

Remus didn't have to ask what Sirius meant. "Nine until," he murmured.

Sirius swore quietly.

Lily, her earlier good mood quickly draining away, rubbed her forehead and let out a long, long breath. She may have appreciated the break from her pregnancy, but this just wasn't safe, not for anyone --

Sirius was reaching, awkwardly, for another book and Peter had begun flipping faster when James joined the fray by stretching across the table in front of her. Lily quickly stopped him with a hand around his wrist. He shot a startled look at her; as she looked up, Lily wondered what he was seeing in Sirius' familiar face when he met her eyes. "Never mind that," she said. "We're just wasting time."

Peter peered at her across the table. "We can look a little longer--"

She shook her head. "No. Sirius and I just..." She glanced at him. "We'll need to talk."

She wondered at Sirius' expression if she always looked that transparent when she was feeling skeptical.

Sirius, though, clearly wasn't the only person who was having doubts. "You think it'll work?" James asked, ignoring Peter's flinch at the inherent distrust.

"I think we can at least try to be civilized," she said, a little dryly. "And we'll see what happens from there."

James kept looking her over, but finally sighed soundlessly and stood up straight again. "Then I think we better go home," he said. "You-- um, Sirius needs somewhere more comfortable to sit down. And I think," he added wearily, "I need a beer."

Sirius laboriously went about standing up, while muttering in agreement, "Make that a firewhiskey or two."

Lily's mouth dropped open in immediate shock. "Like hell you will!"

Sirius stared at her, then shut his eyes and sagged a little, with all that long red hair hiding his face. She thought she heard an "oh, bloody hell..." from under there somewhere, but it was hard to tell.

"You better think about that, actually," Lily told him, as she went around to give him a hand. "No drinks, no smokes, no sex you'd want to be having like this--"

"Me either," James muttered. Remus pinched the bridge of his nose and said nothing.

Lily ignored them both, telling Sirius instead, "And when it's this hard for you to get around, and all those little aches and pains you're feeling are going to be happening all the time--"

Sirius looked at her wearily and said, "I'm sorry for everything."

"I know," she said as she put an arm around him for support, and Peter stepped into the fireplace. "But I think it's going to take a little more work than that."

---

They all ended up sleeping at the Potters' that night. It was a small house, so they didn't have much room, but Lily and James tried to arrange space for everyone. James transfigured the sofa into a bed big enough for him and Lily; Peter, after a little less effort, was relegated to the armchair in their half-finished nursery upstairs. Sirius didn't feel much sympathy.

"Do you think you'll be able to sleep at all?" Remus asked him, as Sirius tried to settle into the bed. Sirius wriggled a little, searching for the best support and most comfortable spot, before giving into the inevitable -- there wasn't anything comfortable to be found. He shook his head.

"Maybe. Sort of. I don't know." He looked up at Remus, who was still sitting on the edge of the bed. "I don't know how she puts up with this, either. I hurt everywhere."

"Maybe that's why she gets irritable sometimes," Remus suggested mildly. Sirius shut his eyes, not yet in the mood for hearing reason -- even when it was obviously true. He'd been listening to enough truth from his own lips throughout dinner, and he'd had as much as he could take for one day.

Remus stayed silent a minute longer. Finally he said, "Here, turn on your side a little."

Sirius, wondering what he was up to, did -- Remus interrupted with, "no, not toward me, the other way... there" -- and only got as far as murmuring aloud, "So what are--" before Remus had slid one hand under the loose t-shirt Sirius was wearing instead of Lily's gown, and touched his back.

"Oh," Sirius said. A faint smile crossed his face. "Right."

Slowly, slowly, as Sirius listened to Remus' whisper, a gentle heat spread out under Remus' fingertips. Sirius sighed and relaxed while Remus massaged stiff muscles and let that heat pool in the small of his back.

"Mmm, that helps," Sirius murmured, adjusting a little. "You must have been paying attention all those times I did this for you...."

"Listened to the spell often enough," Remus said. His hand was moving up to touch his shoulders, ease the tension there and at the base of Sirius' neck. "It took you a while to get real finesse with it, but it was the one good thing I knew I'd get the day after moons."

Sirius hummed involuntarily as his aches faded down. "Lily'll want you around all the time if she knows you're this good at it."

Remus gave Sirius' back one more gentle rub before pulling the shirt back down and lying beside him. Sirius listened to his breathing even out, then said quietly, "You'll stay?"

Remus, fortunately, had learned long ago that the more Sirius needed something, the less he actually said about it. Remus replied to the short, heavy question with, "Of course."

Sirius nodded once and settled against the pillows as best he could. "I'm going to try to sleep," he mumbled.

Remus didn't say anything else. He just curled in behind Sirius, his cheek against Lily's hair and hand resting protectively on her stomach. Remus seemed so at ease that Sirius was almost surprised, but he was too tired to think about it much. The familiarity of Remus near him had melded with the lingering warmth of the spell, and he was comfortable enough at last to drift off.

It would, in fact, have been a very restful night, if it hadn't been for the two trips to the bathroom and a very good dream about his Moony getting interrupted by a foot to the kidneys.

"Gotta get this fixed soon," Sirius sighed when he woke.

Remus mumbled something sleepy in reply, and brushed Lily's hair back to kiss Sirius on the cheek before returning alone to his own dreams.