Moments of Love

Chapter 8: Of Mucus Plugs and Gigantic Sausages

'Oh, come on, Ron!' Hermione tugged at the strings of Ron's pyjama trousers.

'I can't!' Ron hissed and shoved her hand aside. 'The baby'll see it!'

'No, it won't!'

'I'm not going to scar our baby for life!'

Hermione groaned and whisked a pillow on the floor. Ron was staring stubbornly at the ceiling, his hands clamped tightly on the front of his trousers. Hermione took a deep breath. Obviously, a different approach was needed -one that usually worked every time. She turned her head to Ron and smiled as naughtily as she could, brushing gently at his bare tummy.

'You want to...I know you do...'

'Of course I do,' Ron grunted and pushed Hermione's hand aside. 'I've been lashing out on Harry at work all the time because I'm so frustrated, but I can't. It'd be wrong and weird, and...just wrong!'

'Ron, trust me, I've read a million books and they all say that there's nothing wrong with it. It relaxes the mother, and when the mother feels good, the baby feels good.'

'How do they know the baby won't be freaked out?' Ron retorted. 'Have they asked a fetus?'

Hermione bit her lip, but a snort escaped her anyway. It seemed to annoy Ron, who turned on his side.

'Excuse me, but if I was a fetus in a nice, warm womb, I'd be scared out of my wits to see a big slimy thing poke in!'

That was it. Hermione burst out laughing so hard that a few drops of pee squirted out. She wrenched herself up, fanning herself with her hand, and dashed to the bathroom. Ron followed her and leaned against the wall as she changed into clean knickers.

'I don't see the fun in this. Come on, it's a person.'

'Ron, it doesn't have complex mental processes yet, and it can't see outside the womb. Besides, there's a mucus plug that seals the womb, so you couldn't possibly "hit" it.'

'Mucus plug? Way to turn your husband on.'

'Don't try that with me. You are turned on,' Hermione said and pressed herself against Ron. 'Oh yes, no doubt about that.'

Ron seized her hands and tried to get away, but Hermione caught a hold of the waist of his pyjama trousers.

'Come on, big boy,' she whispered and slid her hand on his back. 'It's been such a long time...'

'Hermione!' Ron wriggled furiously, but Hermione continued caressing him so that his eyes grew unfocused. 'Yes, come on, Ron...we've done this numerous times when I've been pregnant...'

'Yes, but that was before you showed me that Muggle ultimatum you had done with your Mum,' Ron muttered, his eyes closed.

'Ultrasound,' Hermione corrected.

'Whatever. It was a real human being in that picture, with eyes and everything. Don't you see how wrong and mentally scarring it would be for the tot?' With that, Ron struggled away and fled to the bedroom. Hermione drew a deep breath and followed him. He had gone back to bed, and Hermione stopped by his side, her hands on her hips.

'Stop mucking around and do it, Ronald Weasley! The baby won't be aware of it in any other way than a nice, rocking movement. It will be good.'

'Hermione,' Ron said in a dignified voice. 'What will you say if the kid starts having frequent nightmares of a gigantic sausage? What explanation do you have for that, eh? "Sorry, darling, it's just that Dad couldn't keep his hands off me while I was pregnant. Hope you develop a healthy sense of body, sweetie!"'

Hermione ground her teeth and whirled around. She strode to the living room and started rummaging through the shelf that was full of pregnancy-related books. After a minute or so, she found what she was looking for and took the book to the bedroom. Before Ron could say a thing, she sat on him and opened the book.

'Don't you dare push me away! You're listening now.'

Ron shot her a suspicious look and pulled the hem of her nightgown further down towards her knees.

'See, here.' Hermione turned the book around and tapped at a passage. 'Read that...yes, what does it say? "Extensive studies have confirmed that normal marital functions have no negative effects on the baby, quite the contrary." And Muggle studies say the very same thing!'

Ron opened his mouth to speak, but Hermione pressed her finger on his lips.

'And if it caused children nightmares of gigantic sausages, then ninety-nine percent of the population would suffer of them. Do you really think your Mum and Dad didn't -'

'Don't!' Ron said with a suffering look. 'Don't go there.'

'Ever had a sausage-related nightmare?'

Ron said nothing, but his lips twitched, and they stared at each other for a while in silence. Then Hermione put away the book and leaned to kiss Ron. He responded hesitantly and slid his hands in her hair.

'But what if I hurt it?' he whispered against her mouth. 'What we get a baby with a hole in the head?'

'Two words: mucus plug. Come on, now, Daddy...'

x--x--x

'You okay, Hermione?' Ron brushed the hair anxiously from Hermione's face. 'Is the baby okay?' He pressed his ear on Hermione's tummy and listened for a while.

'I'm fine,' Hermione said lazily. 'We're both fine, very relaxed and snug.'

'Good,' Ron said, caressing Hermione's tummy. 'It just feels a bit odd when it's your own kid in there.'

'It's a wonderful bonding moment, Ron, and there's nothing wrong with it. It was meant to be that way,' Hermione said, yawning. 'The whole miracle of pregnancy and birth is beautiful.'

Ron reached to press a kiss on her lips.

'Fine, we'll keep at it, but if the kid ever brings up sausages, you're on your own.'

Hermione grinned sleepily.

'I'll accept the challenge, Ronald Weasley.'