Moments of Love

Chapter 6: Hey, Where's My Sausage?

'What's wrong with Ron?' Ginny asked and settled on the sofa with a bowl of honey snacks. 'He looks like he's about to lose his meal.'

'Oh, he's just reading a book I gave him,' Hermione said and popped a piece of chocolate in her mouth. 'The Book of Labour.'

Harry propped baby James higher on his shoulder and went to take a look. Ron made a whinging noise as Harry leaned over him.

'Oh dear, Hermione.' Harry wrinkled his nose. 'This has wide open photos of the whole, er, event.'

Ron let out another moan.

'Of course,' Hermione said and cut herself a slice from the cake Ginny had brought along. 'I thought it's best that he knows all of what's coming.'

A woman's shrill cry echoed from the book, and Ron winced. Ginny stood up and went to peek over Ron's other shoulder. She jumped as a painful groan shook the whole book.

'I think a softer approach might have been better,' Harry said. 'This thing shows, well, everything and in full colour photos.'

'With a voice to go,' Ron whispered, his cheeks deadly pale.

'Poor Ron.' Ginny brushed at Ron's mop of hair. 'See Hermione, now you've scared him so badly that this baby may be the only one he'll ever want to have.'

'Nay, once he gets to hold the baby, he'll forget everything about labour,' Hermione said matter-of-factly and ate a banana. 'Male Responses to Childbirth says it's the most common scenario.'

Ginny exchanged a look with Harry, who bit his lip and went to deposit the sleeping James in his pram.

'You know, Hermione, Harry never saw any of that.' Ginny indicated the book. 'He was on my side, holding my hand. Hey, where's my pie?'

'Oh, sorry, I thought you didn't want it, so I ate it,' Hermione said, licking her fingers. 'Harry, you want those honey snacks?'

'Yes!' Harry hurried over and rescued his plate from Hermione's hands that had already stretched towards it. 'Come on, Ron, let the book be and have something to eat.'

Ron raised his wide eyes, and his mouth opened and closed a few times. He put the book carefully on the side table and stood up, his eyes still round and his face ashen. Hermione patted the chair beside her and pushed a glass of Butterbeer towards Ron.

'How can you...' Ron swallowed. 'How can you eat after just looking at that stuff?'

'It's the most natural thing in the world,' Hermione said brightly. 'Childbirth is a wonderful yet complicated thing, and it's good to be fully prepared. Did you notice the section about possible complications? It has the most fascinating photos of a breech birth. It means that the baby's born with the buttocks first -'

'Hermione, please,' Ron said weakly and downed the Butterbeer. 'You've already made sure that we'll sleep in separate beds from now on until we die.'

Harry coughed into his Butterbeer and slapped Ron gently on the back.

'Come on, mate, it's not that bad. You'll stand on her side, holding her hand and humbly agreeing to all the accusations she's screaming at you for putting her in this situation. You won't be seeing any of the scary stuff unless you absolutely want to.'

Ron grunted and re-filled his glass. Hermione plopped a roasted sausage on Ron's plate, and Ron picked it up looking at it as if it had been a decaying snake.

'Why don't we talk about something else,' Ginny suggested. 'Have you bought anything new for the baby?'

'Oh yes!' Hermione said through a mouthful of sausage and went to a cupboard by the window. 'I bought some socks and this hat, and Ron got these fur booties and the nicest bib, look. It lets out a tinkle every time food drops on it.'

Ginny cleared her throat.

'That's nice. Bet you'll be hearing lots of tinkles.'

'I kind of miss all the fuss,' Harry said wistfully. 'It seems that we don't hassle half as much now as with James. We already have all the basics and more, and Ginny's been doing really well, too.'

'Yes, I haven't even had any morning sickness or strange urges,' Ginny said, watching Hermione return to the table and spear a piece of sausage and a piece of pie with her fork.

'You eating that, Ron?' Hermione nodded to the sausage in Ron's hand.

'What?' Ron startled.

'Never mind,' Hermione said, and before Ron could blink, she had popped the sausage in her mouth. Ron didn't seem to care; he was flicking his eyes from his glass to baby James's pram and the mountains of baby stuff on a table near the corner. His expression softened as his eyes caught a heap of plush toys squished between a padded bouncer and a bunny mobile.

'You know, your baby will probably be the world's only baby dressed in a pink, frilly dress one day and an army-green sleepsuit the next day,' Harry said. 'I understand you wanted the cutesy stuff, right, Ron? What if it's a boy?'

'I'm sure we'll have a girl at some point,' Ron said with a shrug. 'Hey, where's my sausage?'

'Sorry, they're all gone,' Hermione said, licking her knife. 'Here, have the last piece of chocolate. I can't understand how we can be almost out of everything when I went to the grocers only the day before yesterday.'

'Yes, it's a real mystery,' Ginny said mischievously and went to browse through the piles of baby clothes. 'You sure have a lot of clothes already. I hope the poor baby won't be completely confused by the clashing colours and styles.'

'We can always mix; put on a pink hat with a grey playsuit,' Ron said, more like his usual self. 'I think the tot's going to be a perfect blend of Hermione's brains and sense and my sportiness and fabulous sense of humour. Completely mental, of course.'

'I have no doubt that our baby will be entirely normal,' Hermione said, her eyes scanning the table feverishly. 'I thought I saw one more of those nut rolls...'

'Nah, mental's good,' Ron said fondly and caressed Hermione's knee. 'I like mental.'

Harry snorted into his glass, and Hermione's mouth twitched. She took the last slice of pie and looked at Ginny and Harry, cocking her head.

'By the way, did I tell you that I've started reciting Arithmancy to the baby every night?'