Nowhere Man

Nowhere Man

(Lennon/McCartney)

He's a real nowhere man,
Sitting in his nowhere land

Making all his nowhere plans for nobody.

Ron missed the Burrow. There was no getting around it, living in creepy, Dark-magic infested houses that reek with the memories of your best friend's late godfather just do not equate with the simple peace you can feel at home.

The Burrow was, as implied by the name, a place you could hide in, a million nooks and crannies that existed solely for the purpose of being burrowed into, feeling, to put it quite bluntly, like you belonged there, whether it was his room, with the creaking pipes and the howling ghoul, the garden, all croaking frogs and twittering gnomes, or the kitchen, with the tiny scrubbed and the assorted plates that did not match any specific pattern.

Not in Grimmauld Place. In Grimmauld Place if you found a little nook or cranny it's likely something in it will decide to strangle you.

He still got shivers about that day, when the robes had leapt up like a huge silk bat, suffocating him, making him sure for a second that he was going to die, and that Heaven smelled like cheap whiskey, because the scent of it was full in his nostrils. He didn't realize until after the robes were gone that it was just Dung rescuing him.

A year later and here he was, back again with the house that had tried to kill him. Back with his mother, who was cooking now for the whole Order with an almost demonic zealotry, most likely to hide from her own fears; his father, who tried to look positive but you could tell he was almost worried to death, he hadn't been the same since the encounter with the snake; various Order members, like Lupin and Tonks and Moody, who seemed to have aged considerably since he saw them last; and Ginny, his dumb little sister he didn't want anything to do with. And here he thought after that night in the Ministry he would be happy for the summer hols to begin. He had forgotten that they had to return to Headquarters to live almost at once.

That didn't mean they would be kept idle, goodness no, Ron's mum would probably go mad if anyone in the house remained stationery for even one second. So she cooked as much as was humanly possible (and then some) and sent the two children still living with their parents to work in the garden. The inside of the house was fairly well cleaned out, but the garden was quite honestly a jungle with a bad temper (and here Ron had never even thought gardens could have temperaments. But then, he had never thought robes could have an urge to strangle people, so what did he know?) So he and Ginny were attacking it, all alone, because Harry was still at the Dursleys,' Hermione was visiting her grandparents in Edinburgh, Bill was off in France (supposedly to speak with foreign diplomats on Order business, but the fact that the meetings were between him, the French wizards, and a certain translator named Fleur Delacour must've had something to do with his enthusiasm), and the summer business at Weasley Wizards' Wheezes in Diagon Alley was such that Fred and George could not be convinced to leave the shop (and the argument they had gotten into with their mother about the shop itself probably also had to do with their evasion of the house). Just Ron and Ginny, the babies of the family, though Ron had been trying very hard since they'd left school not to be left alone with her, perhaps because he knew what she would want to speak about if they were.

She started right in on the topic as soon as they were out in the garden. "So, Ron, do you know how it happened?"

Doesn't have a point of view,

He knew what she meant, but decided to feign ignorance. "What happened?"

"You know what happened, I mean how he died. Did they tell you what happened, or did they just say 'he's dead, happy hols'?"

Ron said that no one had told him exactly how, "mostly because I didn't ask."

Ginny stared at him wide-eyed. "You didn't? You had no urge to find out how it happened? Good lord, Ron, why not?"

Ron took in a deep breath and stabbed at the roots of a weed vehemently with his trowel. "Listen, it's bad enough that it happened at all, you don't need to ogle over every detail of it as if it's some really exciting book that you can't wait to find the end of."

"I wasn't ogling," she said, sounding very harassed. "I just need to know, is that so bad? That I want to know so I'll remember."

He stabbed at the roots again. "Remember?" he asked fiercely. "Why do you want to remember any of that night at all?"

She fixed him with a stare that disconcerted him so much he started pulling at the vicious weed so as to have an excuse to keep his eyes off her.

"It's just that I don't want to forget. That's all. I couldn't stand it if I forgot."

Knows not where he's going to,

Ron snorted derisively and pulled the weed free. They did not speak for a few more minutes, hacking away at the garden with all their might, which took most of their strength and gave them little time for talking, until Ginny said suddenly, "It was Bellatrix Lestrange. The one that did Neville's mum and dad in. She Stunned him and he went through that veil. You remember that veil? The one Harry said he could hear whispering behind? Well, he fell behind that and...and...didn't come back out. Harry was screaming and made to go after him, so Lupin had to hold him back. I heard him telling Tonks about it this morning." Through her whole speech Ginny's voice had been getting progressively quieter, and by the time she said the last sentence it was little more than a whisper.

Ron shot straight up like a bolt of lightning had gone through him and he grabbed his sister by her collar, shaking with rage. "I don't ever want to hear about that night again, you understand that, Ginny? I don't ever, ever, ever want to hear about it!"

Isn't he a bit like you and me?

He let go of her, and she crumpled to the ground, staring at him fearfully. Her eyes filled with water like tiny little reservoirs. She'd never seen him this angry before.

Nowhere man, please listen,

"What's wrong with you, Ron?" she sobbed, and added in a small voice, "what's wrong with all of us?"

You don't know what you're missin,

Ron would've given quite a bit to know the answer to that question.

Nowhere man, the world is at your command.

He's as blind as he can be,
Just sees what he wants to see.
Nowhere man, can you see me at all?

Ron and Ginny avoided each other after that, something the other habitants of the house couldn't fail to notice. Such as the morning a few days after their fight. Ron had been up early for once, something he supposed everyone would be surprised at.

Indeed they were, well, one person at least.

Lupin looked up from the Daily Prophet and his tea. "You're up early," he observed rather unnecessarily.

Nowhere man, don't worry,
Take your time, don't hurry,

Ron gave an agreeing sort of grunt. The sun was too low in the eastern sky to say any fully formed words.

"Your mother's not even awake yet."

That, thought Ron, might actually been a blessing. His mother liked to force-feed him every form of food known to wizardkind, and in the morning it had always been particularly bad. (Because breakfast, of course, is a very important meal.

"There's some cereal in the cupboard I think, should you want any," said Lupin, turning back to his paper. They both did not speak until after the door opened a crack. The red-haired figure that appeared briefly in the frame let out a small yip and closed the door again. Both Ron and Lupin could hear the small footsteps scurrying back up the stairs. Lupin glanced over his paper, his eyebrows raised, looking first at the closed door then Ron.

"Do you mind if I ask what you and Ginny are bickering about?"

"Bickering?" asked Ron incredulously. "No offense, Professor, but what just happened was not bickering. Me and Ginny are having a full-out Dad-and-Percy-reminiscent row."

"I see. Do you mind if I ask what about?"

Leave it all till somebody else lends you a hand.

Ron hesitated, not sure if he wanted Professor Lupin to know how bent out of shape he'd gotten at Ginny in the garden. Looking back on it now it seemed a bit of an extreme thing to do.

"Just normal brother and sister stuff, Professor. You'd find it pretty laughable."

"Oh go on, I could use a laugh."

"It's just that, she, she...doesn't get it. You know what I mean?"

Lupin's brow knit. "I'm afraid I don't."

"She thinks everything's just a game or something to entertain her. It's annoying, that's all. And then in the garden the other day we got in a bit of a row, and I just got mad at her. That's all. It'll blow over soon. Whenever we fought before, you know, we always had Fred and George to, well, you know, lighten the mood a bit but now it's...a bit different."

"Quite."

Ron sat later in the garden again leaning against the exterior of the house. Ginny's footsteps announced her arrival, he could hear them coming around the corner. (Hers were the softest in the house.) Before he could get a chance to get up, she spoke.

"Don't leave, Ron, I've got to show you something."

He growled at her and made an honest attempt to look menacing.

"Shut up and follow me."

Ron was never one to submit to the orders of his little sister, but perhaps the fact that Harry, Hermione, and the twins not around and not speaking to Ginny was making him very, very bored. So he followed her into the house, at the top of the kitchen stairs. She placed a finger over her lips and pointed to the two long flesh-colored strings laying on the stairs.

"You didn't..."

"Owled Fred and George the other day. They sent them over. Free of charge, they said, since we're family and all. As if that wasn't a given..."

"You borrowed Pig? Without asking me? Again?"

"Stuff it, Ron. The meeting's about to start."

He did, and they both inserted an end of the string into their ears. The other end snaked under doorway, as the Impenetrable Charm had long since been removed. (Ginny had been informed of this the previous morning by Tonks, who whispered it into her ear.)

At first all that could be heard was general murmurs and nothing specific, but eventually everyone quieted down and a voice that belonged (they assumed) to Dumbledore spoke up.

"Before we hear our reports, I'd like to address an even more depressing issue, if only to see if the rest of the meeting can improve from this opening statement." There were a few tepid bits of laughter. "I spoke to Fudge this morning. He's saying that there is, quote, no way in hell they'd let Black into the St. Mungo's Graveyard. They don't, he continued, allow mass murderers into our graveyards. He won't believe that Black was innocent, apparently, as we have no...no body to confirm anything." Dumbledore paused and Ginny could almost see his eyes blazing in anger. "So we'll have to have the tombstone in the family plot. There's going to be a service on Wednesday. Harry's coming and it'll take place in the garden, I suspect."

Ron stood up, taking the string out of his ear. "That's all right Ginny. I'm going to bed."

Doesn't have a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Ginny had been quite immersed in what was going on the other side of the string, but when she heard her brother's loud footsteps (so different from her own) leaving she ran after him. He was at the landing with all the house-elves' heads by the time she caught up with him.

Nowhere man, please listen,

"Ron! This isn't...I mean, this is a prime opportunity! What would Fred and George say? A literal treasure trove of information at our feet! Literally!"

You don't know what you're missing,

He stopped but did not turn around. "I, I'm just tired. Go away, Ginny."

"No, no, Ron. This isn't about me anymore, is it? This is something else. You're...you're utterly refusing to witness anything. You just...you can't stand what's happening? Is that it? You just don't want to face it anymore? You'd just rather look the other way?" Her voice, to her dismay, was reaching a very terrible accusatory pitch that she didn't like at all. "What about what's happened to Harry, Ron? To Sirius? To Neville's parents? You should look at it, Ron! It's the only way you can stop it from happening again. You should know that! We should know that!"

Nowhere man, the world is at your command.

Ron turned around now, but didn't say anything, his face as pale as milk.

"And, and I think we should be down there snooping for all we're worth! That's--," she faltered. "We should know what's going on.. What's to happen. It's like I said. I couldn't stand not knowing."

He's a real nowhere man,

Ron was hard-pressed to say what he thought after that. One part of him seemed to be, specifically his stomach, seemed to be simmering and bubbling like those horrible potions he always brewed (or usually failed at brewing) in school, though with what kind of emotion he couldn't be sure. Silently, he stared at his sister, who looked like she was pouting suddenly, he almost expected her to stomp her foot and threaten to tell Mum like she used to. In times like that you just can't help but remember the times that your sister acted like a baby and your brothers could get into fights with your parents without leaving your own home for good.

Sitting in his nowhere land,

Things like that just didn't seem to exist anymore.

Making all his nowhere plans for nobody.

They really didn't seem to care. No one seemed to remember, it seemed to him, how those things were.

A/N: I really didn't like how this ended, but please review and tell me what you think.