Shaded With Patience

"When my time comes,

Forget the wrong that I've done;

Help me leave behind some

Reasons to be missed;

Don't resent me;

And when you're feeling empty,

Keep me in your memory;

Leave out all the rest."
-Linkin Park

May 1998

The Room of Requirement was full of students on their way home through the entrance to Hogsmeade. There was panic in the faces of every one of them. These young witches and wizards were being sent home because they were sixteen years of age and under. Nobody wanted them to witness the horrors to come. As for the older students, they were given permission to stay. Lord Voldemort himself was making his way to Hogwarts, followed by a host of Death Eaters. The castle was preparing for battle. Every member of the Order, every Auror, every school professor, every student, was on hand in the Great Hall. Professor McGonagall, acting as Headmistress, stationed us in various places. Remus and I requested that we guard the same corridor, refusing to be separated. We'd spoken to my mother about Teddy. She agreed to take him, should anything happen tonight. When I left her, she was in tears. I was crying, too. One thing seemed inevitable: neither of us would make it out of this war alive.

Remus consulted with Kingsley. Minutes later, he joined me in waiting for the Death Eaters. I rushed into his arms and held him closer than I ever did before.

"Whatever you do, don't let go," I whispered.

"Wouldn't dream of it in a million years," he whispered back, running his fingers through my hair.

How do you say goodbye to the one you love? That's just it: You can't. At least, it wouldn't feel right to say that word aloud. Holding onto each other in silence was one way of exchanging farewells. Here, we were safe. We were home. I could've died right then and there and I would've been content.

In the distance, we heard screams.

"They're coming."

I moved my head to look up at Remus, fighting back tears. Those hazel eyes were just as arresting as when I looked into them for the first time.

"I love you, Tonks, more than you'll ever know," he said.

"I love you too, Remus."

There was no turning back now. We had to fight, for the likes of my father, Sirius, and Moody.

In our last kiss, I felt his agony at the dilemma he'd gone through when he fell in love with me. I hoped he felt my years of patiently waiting and caring for him, that he'd know it hadn't gone to waste.

After that came the most painful part: Remus walking farther down the corridor, to his patrol area. Away from me. As soon as he settled there, I smelled smoke. A fire had been set somewhere in Hogwarts. This meant serious warfare. My nerves were about ready to burst. Desperate for comfort, I turned to face Remus. He hadn't taken his gaze off of me. All we could do was reach out a hand out to each other, as if some way, they would meet again.

The two shadows on the wall interrupted our thoughts. Moving closer towards the light, we could see that it was a man and a woman. The man spoke.

"These are the two you were talking about?"

"Yes. Dolohov, you take the half-breed!" the woman shouted maliciously, nodding towards Remus. "I need to take care of my niece personally..."

That's the last voice I wanted to hear. My dear aunt, Bellatrix Lestrange! She had no other family members left to kill but me. I became so glad my mother wasn't here, otherwise she'd be next. Dolohov and Bellatrix went their separate ways, their shadows breaking apart. Within seconds, her shadow loomed over me. Then I came face to face with her.

"Why don't we skip the family introductions and just get to the part where I have some fun?" Bellatrix piped into my ear with a sadistic smile. Before I could react, she lifted her wand, and I was struck by a sudden onset of excruciating pain. The Cruciatus Curse.

"That was for your Mudblood father."

Another jolt of pain hit, knocking me to the ground.

"That was for caring about Mudbloods in the first place."

By the third time, my insides were throbbing.

"That was for marrying a vicious piece of filth." Her head was angled so that Remus could hear her as he fought Dolohov.

"You leave Remus out of this!" I winced, doubling over, trying anything to stop the hurt.

"This"-she shot another Cruciatus Curse at me- "is for having your child with him." Just KILL me already.

"Oh, look... your dearly beloved's going to lose!" Bellatrix said this in an infant's voice. She let out a wicked cackle. Anger welled up inside me, but she proved to be right. My eyes turned to watch Remus just as Dolohov gave voice to the cruelest words a wizard can utter:

"Avada Kedavra!"

"NO!"

But the cry was in vain. The spell hit Remus, and with that, my husband was gone.

Glancing at his dead body, I could see that time had never been on our side. We hadn't even made it to a year of marriage. Every moment we'd spent together was precious. Did I regret falling in love with him? Absolutely not.

I didn't notice the jet of green light directed at me until it was too late.