Shaded With Patience

August 1997

I started to feel sad again after Mad-Eye Moody died. When we moved Harry to a safe-house, using brooms and thestrals, he was hit by a Killing Curse. If the strongest among us couldn't evade death, what hope was there for the rest of us? People were dying every day. But I regained hope when I reminded myself, you're a Lupin now. Nymphadora Tonks Lupin. Has a nice ring to it. My name didn't sound so bad anymore. And there was more reason to celebrate: I discovered that I'd become pregnant. I couldn't wait to see my child and teach him or her everything I knew. To watch them go off to Hogwarts for the first time. To be at their wedding. Remus was going to be an amazing father. Giving Remus the news was another story. He'd probably worry that the baby would end up being a werewolf as well. I could understand that. However, werewolf or not, I couldn't keep my excitement from him forever.

One day, I came home from the Ministry, ready to tell him. When he welcomed me with a hug and a kiss, I sat him down.

"Remus, I don't mean to alarm you, but I've been getting nauseous in the morning for a few weeks now. I'm always a tad light-headed, too."

"I'm sorry about that, dear. Can I help you at all?" Says the man who's constantly ill after each full moon.

"I don't know that it can be helped, actually," I replied. "All of a sudden, though, I've got a craving for pickles..."

He put two and two together. "You're with child! How did this happen?"

Before he could get angry, I tried calming him down. "I realize you weren't expecting this. I wasn't either. Yes, there's a chance that he or she will be a werewolf. But until the baby's born, we have no way of being sure."

"Either way, I'm sure that I've just doomed our child to a miserable life," Remus said gloomily.

"No, you haven't!" I protested. "You had no say in the matter when you were bitten. If anything, they will be proud of you for standing up for werewolf rights, for ensuring that one day you can fit in. Your child won't love you any less. I should know."

"That's easy for you to say when you're not one of my kind!" he snapped. "You've always had a better life than me, and they won't be fitting werewolves in anytime soon." There was a long pause.

"I need to mull this over somewhere else." He headed towards the door without another word and left.

Not again!

***

February 1998

Foolish of me to think anyone in my family was safe. As of October, my father was now, sadly, among the dead. Remus still hadn't returned home. Then came winter. Still no sign of Remus. I couldn't go a day without bursting into tears. Mum was taking care of me while my stomach grew. I leaned on her when I was little, and I still leaned on her now.

"I know it really isn't my business," she inquired on a late afternoon, "but how could Remus leave you this way?"

"I'll tell you how: Because he's a victim of circumstance, who's always been deathly afraid of hurting anything in his path. You have to give him some credit. Not every werewolf is as kind as him." I meant every word. Believe it or not, I was ready to forgive him. After all, everyone messes up. What's any relationship worth without forgiveness?

A knock on the door was answered by my mother. Almost as if he'd been listening, Remus appeared in the living room, where I was on bed rest.

"I'll just be going," Mum mumbled, hastening to the outdoors.

Remus looked worse than usual, with fresh cuts on his face. Was there a full moon last night?

He strolled over to my side and took a deep breath. "I don't suppose 'I'm sorry' is a good place to begin."

I grasped his hand."Actually, it is. I'm sorry if my werewolf comment offended you. I was trying to boost your morale, because I could see how much you've been through."

"How?"

"It's in your eyes. Years of being mistreated, outcast, and misunderstood."

Remus smiled in bewilderment. "What do you know? I leave my expectant wife for months, yet my wife says she's sorry. And she sees right through me." He sure knew how to make me blush.

"Why don't you put a hand on my stomach?" I encouraged. My due date was nearing, and like other mothers, I wanted to brag. "The baby's been moving inside me. Can you feel it?"

He nodded, unable to contain his emotions. "That's our child," he cried.

Teddy Lupin was born in late April. He turned out to be a Metamorphmagus like myself, with no trace of a werewolf in him whatsoever. It would be fun to see what he did when he got older, since he's the only other Metamorphmagus I've ever known. He was already changing hair and eye colors non-stop! But our life with Teddy would be cut short.