Confessions of a Death Eater

By the age of twelve, I hadn't gone out into the Muggle world very often, but that's where I found myself one day in the middle of summer vacation. Even for a witch, London is such a beautiful city to be in. Our parents, however, didn't feel that way. They took me and my sisters there to see what trouble the Muggles got themselves into.

My mother pointed at a cherry red telephone booth on the street. "Apparently, this is one way for them to communicate. They just speak into this device, and you can hear another's voice through it. Not exactly my cup of tea." We walked farther on to the Underground, where lines of cars transported the Muggles from place to place. The cars moved so fast, I could barely see them. In the right light, though, it reminded me of the Hogwarts Express, only without the beautiful scenery.

"Since they can't Apparate or fly or use the Floo network," my father explained, "they have to come up with contraptions like this to help them get around."

"How curious," I said. He gave me a glare. Once again, I'd said the wrong thing. "I just mean... how much harder it must be for the Muggles."

Narcissa came to my side. "Bella, do you actually feel sorry for them?"

I swallowed hard. "No, of course I don't mean that, Cissy. After all," I added for effect, "they deserved all their hardships."

"Too right they did!" my father agreed. All the while, Andromeda kept quiet.

Sometime during our London outing, I was given permission to wander about on my own. Outside one of the shops, a Muggle woman was on the ground, trying to pick up pieces of a broken plate. What I did next was perhaps the kindest act of my entire life. I came over to her and asked, "Can I help?"

"Oh, thank you, dearie!" she chimed. I pulled out my wand and whispered, "Reparo."

The woman looked at me strangely as the plate came back together. "How did you do that?"

I shrugged like it was no big deal. "I've known how to do that for a while now." There was my mistake, because the Ministry forbids us from performing magic around Muggles, much less telling them that you're a witch. And when you're twelve years old, you hardly think it matters.

"Well," the woman cried with an upturned nose, "In the future, you need to keep that freakish behavior to yourself."

I waited until we arrived back home, and I was safe in my room. Then I let the tears fall. From that moment on, it was personal. Nobody had ever spoken to me like that before, and it cut me deeply. I was so proud of being a witch. If you want to know why I hate Muggles and Muggle-borns, look no further than that terrible lady. I promised myself that I was never going to be as terrible as her.

A year later, Mum and Dad were beginning to show me the world of the Dark Arts. You shouldn't be surprised to find out that I began with the Unforgivable Curses. They led me into a small forest for some privacy.

"The first animal you see out here," my dad said, "will be the object of your lesson today."

I was astonished. "You want me to perform these spells on an innocent animal?"

"Well, don't act so stunned." Dad looked as though he was meeting me for the first time.

Mum interjected: "What did you think you'd be practicing on? A cabinet?" She laughed.

I didn't answer. In truth, I hadn't prepared myself for this. Moments later, a tawny cat came into view, the leaves crackling underneath his paws.

Dad put a hand on my shoulder. "Ok, Bella. It's time. Use the Body-Bind Curse to make him stay." I took a deep breath. At least they weren't asking me to kill the cat... yet.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

The cat froze where he stood and fell over.

"Next, we'll attempt the Imperius Curse," Mum said. "You know the spell already, and you know that it will cause the cat to come under your full control. The trick is to put all your focus on what you want it to do. Use your imagination."

I decided to make the cat jump. Once again, I pointed my wand at him. "Imperio." He actually did as I commanded. I saw how frightened the cat looked, but at the same time, for some reason, I enjoyed watching him being thrown into the air. Maybe I was more like my parents than I previously thought.

"That was incredible for your first try!" my father cheered. "Now, do you remember which Unforgivable Curse comes after that?"

"The Cruciatus Curse. Doesn't it cause your victim pain?"

He nodded. "And when you perform the curse... you really have to mean it."

"But the cat hasn't done anything to me. How can I hurt it?"

"Have you never been so angry or upset with someone that you wanted to cause them pain?" Mum asked incredulously. "Has nobody ever done wrong to you?"

I answered yes meekly, looking down at the forest ground. I hadn't been the same since my encounter with the Muggle woman, when I found out that Muggles really were as bad as Mum and Dad said they were. It was time for some payback.

Mum brought me back to the present. "Of course there is someone! You just have to pretend that this cat is that person."

With my anger boiling, I didn't hesitate a second longer, shouting, "Crucio!" He wriggled in agony. Before I knew was I was doing, I repeated the spell. How I loved to see that cat squirm. A sly grin spread upon my face. I was already thriving on the curse that would become my signature.

"You sure are learning fast," said Dad. "I don't believe I need to tell you the final Unforgivable Curse."

"No, sir," I replied. There was an edge to my voice, sharp as a razor. My wand arm shot up, and I cried, for the first time, "Avada Kedavra!" It struck the cat's heart, killing him instantly.

As of that moment, the old Bellatrix was gone. Soon, I'd think nothing of doing this every single day.