The Best of Me

THE BEST OF ME

(The unapproved, unrevised, unreleased, indirect love pamphlet by Draco Malfoy)

Title Page: The Best of Draco Malfoy (Insert a smirking picture underneath)

Credits: I would like to thank, well, Myself, really.

Editor's addition: And my wonderful editor for putting the truth into the light.

Blank Page. Oh, scratch that. Editor, put in another one of my dashing pictures here.

Editor's addition: Dashing it will be.

-The Best of Me-

"I'm Draco Malfoy."

Editor's addition:

Born on a frosty day unknown, son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, Draco Malfoy entered the world. He's a grey-eyed-six-foot-pure-blood who's got nothing pleasant in his mouth. Always burdened with the most expensive things and basking under undeserved attention, this little prince is about to be rudely awakened.

"I'm the bad boy."

Editor's addition:

Infamous around Hogwarts, Malfoy is often caught reviling Potter and Co. and trying to get Harry Potter in trouble.

"But I've never done anything honestly bad - really! I mean, besides trying to get Hagrid sacked and Buckbeak killed, I'm just a normal kid seeking attention."

Editor's addition:

Sir, I could not have put it in better words.

"I'm the one you love to hate. Well, there are some righteous little Mudbloods out there who strut around thinking they know right from wrong and that they'd rather die than admit their never-dying love for me, but that's alright. I'll get to her sooner or later."

Editor's addition:

I fear my employer has fallen for his worst enemy. How sad.

"Yes, I think I've correctly covered my reputation. Is there anything you'd like to add?"

Editor's addition:

Oh, am I glad you asked! You're a charming good-for-nothing boss who underpays his workers.

"Well, I would just like you to know, that that is not the real me."

Editor's addition:

How funny this man can be. Don't you think?

"I am really a generous, loving, fluffy teddy bear who wants to love and be loved."

Editor's addition:

No comment.

"I only say mean things to make myself feel better. You can't blame me for being one of those people who enjoy feeding off of other people's pain! It's a genetic disorder, I swear. Don't discriminate against us helpless few."

Editor's addition:

Oh no worries, we don't discriminate against "you helpless few", we simply discriminate against you - and the best part, we do it just because it's you!

"People always have the misconception that I am jealous of Harry Potter. *laugh* Oh such laughable suggestions. Why would I be jealous of him? He gets more attention than I do, he's permanently attached to the girl that I love, and he's better off in the guy department than I am (uh, not that I would know...)"

Editor's addition:

Reasons why I never go potty while Mr. Malfoy is in there.

"But now I think it is time to reveal myself. My true self. The part of me that no one sees; the part of me that is covered in layers of...layers of...Editor, find a fitting word to put here."

Editor's addition:

How about arrogance? No? Alright, we'll go with slime. Yes, I think that's a perfect word, it even adds some needed imagery!

"Anyway, it all started out with, well, a girl."

Editor's addition:

Oh boy, here we go, another fancy shmancy romance novel.

"She's an annoying little smart aleck who, thanks to me, has nice straight teeth and name brand clothes, not that I ever see her wear them."

Editor's addition:

Gee, I wonder why she's so quickly falling for you.

"She's my toilet paper when I have run out."

Editor's addition:

Is that supposed to be flattering?

"She's everything to me. But she doesn't know it."

Editor's addition:

Aww. That was almost sweet. *tear*

"The true purpose of this pamphlet is to let her know how I feel inside, for me to express things that I can only express to myself: complete admiration and honesty. Every time I approach her, I find myself at a loss for words, and before I can think of something to say, something foul falls out.

When I call her Mudblood, for example, it is actually a sign of love. Think about it, I have never called any other being a Mudblood. She's the only one. She's my Mudblood."

Editor's addition:

Sounds like a vampire going, "Grr, arg! That's my kill!" But hey, that's just me.

"I can't remember when I started to have these strange feelings for her. I positively hated her up to fourth year, yes, maybe that was when things had changed. When I saw her at the Yule Ball. How beautiful she shone that night, and there I was with Pansy clinging to my arm, nearly ripping it off when she too saw her.

Soon, I began to have dreams with her in it. Then they progressed to being dreams about her. It was quite disturbing. I took "Dream-free" for about a month, hoping that'd cure me, but it didn't. If I didn't think about her while I was asleep, I thought about her while I was awake. And naturally, that made me mad. That made me fall behind in my grades, but more importantly, it made me impotent when Pansy and I...well, when the two of us were having intimate moments.

I began to fathom the idea that maybe, just possibly, I was falling for her.

But then of course, I told myself to get real.

Not a week after my epiphany, I learned that she and Ronald Weasel broke up. I felt suddenly nervous every time I was around her, and became a jealous bastard every time I saw Potter walk her down the hall. I then thought that it was about time for me to begin expressing my love for her.

I religiously called her Mudblood at least five times a day and threw her one of my charming smirks every now and then. But she still didn't accept me. What more does she want?

Well, nice clothes would be a start. I began to buy her the most expensive robes and lingerie that was up for sale - only to have them thrown back at me. I even tried reasoning with her that no one would want her if she walked around looking like a little tomboy. That, I later realized, was a big mistake. I have sacrificed so much for her, I almost feel sorry for myself. Even Pansy, I lost Pansy because of her!

It happened after the fourth time that I had tried giving her clothes - I walked away, unsuccessful, and unaware that a red thong was stuck to my shoe. I do believe she noticed it, rather cruel of her not to tell me, don't you think? Pansy dumped me for infidelity after that.

So a couple more weeks passed. Not much happened. Then on that fateful Friday, Harry Potter asked her out. Oh the nerve of him. Even worse, she said yes! How could she do that to me?! How could she do that with what we had going on? I couldn't understand it...I went ballistic!

It broke my heart.

So here I am now, moping. Wishing she were here beside me. Wishing someway, somehow, I could be the one for her. I love her.

If she reads this, and is willing to give me a chance - 7:00 at the Great Lake, meet me there.

Yours truly,

D.M."

Editor's addition:

Even I feel something for him after that! Please go, for Merlin's sake. Don't you feel bad for the poor guy?