The Weight of the World

Chapter 4 - The Quidditch Field

Harry made his way down to the Great Hall to find the mood a bit lighter than he expected. The Weasleys were all sitting next to one another talking as though they were back at the Burrow. Harry couldn't help but smile when he saw them this way. They had become his only family over the past few years and when he was around them it was the closest thing he had to real brothers, sisters and parents. They all smiled at him and waived him over immediately when he entered the Hall.

"Harry come over here and drink some punch," Ron's mom said and she handed him a large glass. "Have a cookie too."

Harry could see a few small groups had formed. Other than the Weasleys, Lupin, Fletcher and Mrs. Figg were gathered at another table. They were all smiling while Mr. Fletcher was told a story. He was making gestures with his hands imitating himself being strangled. Up at the staff table Harry could see Dumbledore in deep conversation with Mr. Archer and Mad-eye Moody. None of them were smiling and Harry could tell that the conversation was a serious one.

Harry began to sip his punch and was listening to a story Charlie was telling about a dragon that went on a rampage in Romania, when Ron kicked him lightly under the table.

"How did it go with Snape?" Ron whispered to Harry.

"Oh. Good I guess. We didn't say much. I'll tell you more about it later. I have something else to tell you as well, but it will have to wait," Harry said.

"You didn't kill him did you? I noticed he didn't come down after you?" Ron said smiling.

Harry just shook his head and grinned. But the grin went away in a hurry. Despite the comfort of the Weasleys in their family conversations, Harry began to feel depression creeping back into his head. He hadn't been back at school for more than a few hours, and he guessed that the fact that he had attended the meeting and now seeing Ron and his family had delayed the inevitable. Cedric came into his head. Harry realized he and everyone else were sitting at the Hufflepuff table; Cedric's house table. He couldn't help but think about all of the times he had eaten meals in here and glanced over at this table seeing Cedric and his friends sharing stories and have a good time. He suddenly felt sick to his stomach and stood up quickly hoping to make the feeling go away. Charlie stopped talking and everyone turned to Harry.

"You okay mate?" Bill said.

"Harry you don't look well dear. You need some more punch?" Ron's mom said quickly.

"Umm, no I'm fine. I think I just might need some air. I'll be back in a bit," Harry said.

He then turned and walked out of the Hall, past the main entrance hall, and out the front door.

"Mom, I am going to catch up to Harry and see what's wrong," Ron said.

"Give the lad some space son. He's been through a lot lately you know," Ron's dad added.

Ron found Harry under a tree in the courtyard. At first he stopped and just watched him a bit. He wanted to make sure he wasn't throwing up or, even worse, crying. It's not that Ron didn't want to be there for his best friend, he did. It was just the fact that there are some things that he didn't think he could help Harry with. He could be a great listener, if that's what Harry needed. But Harry hadn't talked much about what happened at the last task of the tournament. He had heard his parents talk about it. He had read about the events in the paper and had heard Dumbledore's speech at the end of last year. But he still didn't know many of the details, and he wasn't going to pressure Harry into trying to get him to talk about it. He just wanted to be there for him. He wanted to try to get his best friend's mind off of the problems he and everyone else were now facing.

He slowly made his way to the tree that Harry was sitting under. Harry had an almost blank look on his face and he was staring down at the Quidditch field. It was a countenance that Ron wasn't able to read.

"You okay Harry?" Ron said softly.

"I'm fine Ron. I just felt sick all of a sudden. I needed some air. I'm feeling better already."

"Harry, I asked mom and dad, and they asked Dumbledore and he said that it would be okay if I stayed here this summer. If you don't mind that is. I figured we could work on our Quidditch. There is an empty spot on the roster this year and I figured you could help me a bit. Maybe I can fill it."

Harry just kept staring down at the Quidditch field for a second before he spoke.

"Ron, don't feel like you have to stay here because of me. You hardly get to see your family and I'd feel really bad if you stayed here just to keep me company. I do appreciate it, but please don't."

"Harry, I do like seeing my family, but you don't know how it is at my house now. Bill and Charlie aren't there anymore and Fred and George are starting work during the summer too, and dad and Percy are gone even more than last summer. That leaves me at home alone with Ginny and mom all day. You think that's going to be a fun summer?"

"Ron, please. If you do it just make sure you really want to. I have enough to feel guilty about right now and I don't want to add that to my list."

"Harry look, it was supposed to be a surprise, but, well... Hermione is coming too. We talked about it yesterday and we are going to be here with you. Hermione is excited at the fact that she can work on her OWL studies here at the library anyway. She and her parents aren't going on their vacation this summer. They just opened a private practice and told her that they needed time to get their business in order. She is really excited about coming here, but she asked me not to tell you. She is getting in tonight and wanted to surprise you."

Ron was worried because Harry didn't show any emotion the entire time he talked about Hermione and himself staying with him for the summer.

"I can't ask you guys to do this Ron, it's just not....."

Ron interrupted him.

"Look, you didn't ask us Harry, we just wanted to be here. And I can damn well tell you that we are both worried about you mate. Harry there have been times in my life when I needed someone to be there, and you and Hermione have always done so. Even if you didn't know things were bothering me, even if we didn't talk about it. It was just you guys being there that helped me out. As a friend I expect you to keep being there for me if I ever need you, and so I am going to do the same. Besides, I am serious about the quidditch thing. I am trying out for the team."

Harry was still staring down at the field. All of a sudden he looked up at Ron, then back down to the quidditch field.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back down there Ron. I am scared to death of that place. How can..." Harry's voice cracked for a second and he stopped speaking.

"How can I play quidditch if I can't even go down to the field?"

Ron didn't know what to say. He was frustrated with himself. He had been thinking for the past several days about what he could say, or what he could do to help Harry feel better. His face started getting red and he clutched his fists tightly not realizing he was doing so.

"Harry, what can I do? And don't give me this crap about doing nothing. If it were me down there you would be kicking yourself trying to help me. Put yourself in my shoes for a second. I feel like shit Harry. I feel useless to you as a friend right now. I have to help you through this Harry; even if it's just a little bit. What can I do?"

"Ron, you are like a brother to me. Your parents are like my parents. I understand that you want to help me but listen to me for a second. You being here is all I need. That's all I can accept from you right now without making myself feel worse. You have done more for me already than anyone in my whole life. You and Hermione have kept me together."

Harry stood up and gave Ron a quick hug and then a quick pat on the side of his shoulder.

"Thanks for coming here. Thanks for staying. Wait till you see our new dorms. They are a bit bigger than last years. I already took the best bed by the window though, I guess you get second pick. Let's get back inside."

Ron quickly grabbed his arm before he could get away.

"Oh yeah, you forgot to tell me about Snape, and you said you had something else to tell me as well."

"Oh yeah right," Harry said. "Well since Hermione is coming, I'll just wait and tell both of you later. Its kind of a long story and I really don't want to tell it twice."

Ron just nodded, but was very anxious now to hear what he had to say. He hoped that maybe Harry was ready to open up to him a bit more. He guessed he would just have to wait until later.

With this Ron smiled. He suddenly felt a bit better about everything. He felt like he was doing some good and hearing Harry talk about he and his family that way gave him an undeniable lump in his throat. He and Harry made their way back into the Great Hall and continued their conversations with the Weasley bunch.