Letters

Chap. 2 His Justice...

The house was incredibly small and said to be shabby by others. But to the man who lived in it, it was perfectly fine. There was only one light glimmering within the house tonight, a small red candle burned dimly at the desk, as its inhabitant sat reading a rather tattered looking book.

A few of Remus Lupin's longish, sandy, brown hair tresses fell in his face as he turned a page, sighing in sadness. He closed the book, knowing that once again he would not be able to concentrate on reading tonight. He had held it together for the past few months, rarely crying, standing strong, doing the best he could to cope with the engulfing loneliness that was now upon him.

They were gone, all of them. His three best friends, his never ceasing strength, all gone. His eyes began to well up, he didn't want to hold it in any longer, but he had to. Perhaps if he held it in, it would make it less real, less painful.

Remus slowly laid his head in his arms on the desk, his eyes heavy and burning with unreleased tears.

"No..." he murmured, the memories taking over his mind once again. The memories, the unrelenting nightmares. The worst sort of nightmares, the ones that come true. Yes, his nightmares had surely come true. Not only did he lose one best friend, but all, all the love and happiness he ever knew was all taken. Gone for as long as he would live. Which desperately he hoped would not be much longer.

"Why...?" Remus whispered, his sadness now beginning to turn into anger. He could no longer hold back the tears. He was angry, he had trusted him, trusted him with his life. He had trusted him with everything. Lily and James had trusted him!! Trusted him with their lives as well as Harry's! How could he....

Suddenly there was a tapping at Remus's window. He half heartedly lifted his head to look at the suspected pane of glass. Much to his surprise he saw an owl, one which he did not recognize. Slowly he got up and walked over to the window, and then opening it quietly, he let the bird in. Staring at it for a moment, Remus pondered, then untied the letter from its leg.

He stared in horror at the handwriting that addressed the parchment. He knew it very well in fact, but it couldn't be.... He wouldn't dare have the nerve. The writing was indeed Sirius Black's.

Remus's eyes stung terribly as he stared at the rolled paper. He wiped them hastily, then took a deep breath, unrolled the parchment and began to read.

The expressions on his face were far from forgiving, the grief was finally starting to overtake the man he had once been. After he finished he folded the parchment and set it in his desk drawer, gripping his hand into a fist. So many emotions all at once, were surging through him. Doubt, sadness, betrayal, wonder, anger, hatred.

"Forgiveness! You dare to ask me for forgiveness Sirius!?" Remus said lowly, now sitting down in his chair, a quill and parchment at hand. He quickly began to write, his anger and vigor pouring onto the paper. Sirius Black had the nerve to write him, and now he would hear what needs to be said.

The will to live for Remus now, was miniscule, but there were things that kept him going, kept him alive to live another tormenting day.

Remus rolled up the piece of parchment and attached it to the owl's leg. He opened his window once more, letting the bird take flight.

Justice was his strength. His saving grace.