Breaking the Spell

Breaking the Spell

I thought she was dead.

Every time I have a second alone where nobody is talking to me and nothing is occupying my mind, my memory flashes back to that moment; that dreadful moment when my world almost came crashing down around me.

I thought she was dead.

Even just thinking that makes me feel, momentarily, exactly how I felt at the time. It was only a couple of weeks ago but it seems like just an hour or two have passed since. And yet other times it feels like it all happened a whole lifetime ago. I suppose in a situation like that, time has little meaning. Nothing mattered except her; nothing at all, which must seem crazy to anyone else because her and I were only tiny pieces of the complex jigsaw that made up that night in the Ministry.

I haven't told anyone but every time I fall asleep the scene unfolds again. I burst into the cold stone room in a panic, knowing what I'll find but refusing to believe it. She's lying there at the bottom of the steps; I try to run to her but my legs won't move fast enough. Professor Moody gets to her before me. He bends over her, pauses, then turns to me, shaking his head.

"There's nothing you can do, Ginny, she's dead...."

He tries to hold me back but I break out of his grasp and throw myself down onto the floor beside her. I don't want to believe him but as I take her in my arms her body is limp, her eyes half open; her lifeless face wears a trace of a faint, tragic smile....

I throw my head back and scream. I scream because there is nothing else I can do; nothing else that could possibly express what I'm feeling inside.

And then I wake up. For a moment I think it's real before my true-life memories return and I sink back into my pillow, brushing the beads of cold sweat off my forehead. She isn't dead. We survived. It wasn't real.

It must be so much worse for Harry. Sirius really was dead; there was no reprieve for him, no waking up from that nightmare, but mine seems just as real at the time. And yet he still behaves so normally, he seems so determined not to let anyone know how he really feels. I know he exploded at Ron and Hermione a bit last year when he first came to Grimmauld Place, but since Sirius died he's been almost too calm. He's playing chess with Ron at the moment, and losing by the look of it, though that's nothing out of the ordinary. Hermione's reading The Daily Prophet; Neville's in a daydream fiddling with his Mimbulus Mimbletonia and I'm pretending to be concentrating on a quiz in The Quibbler, though in reality I've read the same article about six times; I just can't be bothered to turn the page; I'm too lost in my thoughts. The quiz is one of those "which celebrity boy is your ideal match?" type of things which I really can't be bothered with any more. I've done a lot of growing up this year and at least now I know that fancying another girl doesn't make me weird or a freak, it just means I'm different to the majority which is fine; I'm happy being an individual, though I confess haven't told anyone about it yet.

I did make one last attempt to be 'normal' this year though. I found out from a friend that Michael Corner fancied me so I decided I might as well have a go and asked him out. I don't know where that came from; a year ago I'd never have had the bottle. He looked pretty surprised but burbled a reply to the effect of "yes" so we gave it a go for a couple of months. He's not bad looking and I guess he's quite nice, but truthfully I can't say I ever really fancied him or felt there was any kind of spark between us; the kind of spark where you know you're totally on someone else's wavelength ... the spark I felt with her ...

At Christmas when we were all at the burrow, I realised that Michael and I were never going to work as a couple. Having not seen Tonks for three and a half months I wondered if maybe the whole fancying thing would have gone away, but nothing like it. She came with Mum and Professor Lupin to meet us from the train on the last day of term (Dad was still at St Mungo's, of course). I'd hoped she would be there, of course, but doubted she really would be and when I saw her it was as if a firework inside me had exploded. I ran to them as fast as my suitcase would let me and hugged Mum, but really (and I do feel a bit guilty about this) the highlight of the whole Christmas break was turning to Tonks, seeing that gorgeous purple hair and huge grin and suddenly finding myself enveloped in her arms, just the way I was that night in August.

Leaving again after the Christmas break was harder than I thought and after I'd hugged her (and Mum and Dad) goodbye and got on the train, I needed ten minutes alone in the bathroom before I was confident I wouldn't cry in front of everyone. Even then, I was pretty quiet all the way back to school and had to make up something about feeling travel sick when a couple of people asked if I was okay. Really, all I could think about was the fact that I wouldn't see her again for the best part of six months and realising that no matter how much I didn't want to admit it, either to anyone else or myself, I was crazy about her.

I'd had a word with Michael a few days later and said that I'd had a good time and I'd like to stay friends but I didn't think we really suited each other as a couple. What I told Ron and the others just now was partly true; he did get a bit sulky when Gryffindor beat Ravenclaw at Quidditch, and he is now going out with Cho Chang as far as I know. I've learned from experience that it tends to be a better idea to omit details rather than tell blatant lies; you get into less trouble if you get found out. Well, actually I admit that bit about Dean Thomas was pretty close to a blatant lie - I don't fancy him but he is good looking and I'd rather pretend I fancy him than admit it's her....

School went on as normal for quite a long time after that. Not having a boyfriend wasn't a problem because it had suddenly become very cool to be single, or at least in my group of friends, and our favourite pastime for ages seemed to be gathering around the fire on chilly nights to discuss what rats most boys were. That suited me fine even if I don't agree because it was the perfect cover. I don't dislike boys in general; Harry's ok and most are fine on their own, I just can't think of them in the romantic sense any more, not after she came on the scene. I used to; I used to think about going on dates and kissing boys, but it's as if once I've felt what it's like to be totally crazy about a girl or woman, no boy could ever compare.

That cold stone room...I thought she was dead.....

And then before I know it I'm clinging to an invisible horse which is flying over London and cramming into a phone box with Harry, Hermione, Neville and Luna. I do remember what happened that night, I don't think I'll ever forget it, but whenever I find myself thinking back, my mind seems to fast-forward itself, skipping everything else before stopping suddenly at that moment. The deserted reception area, the spinning room, the Death Eaters, the prophecy ... I always bypass that, to the few minutes in that room when I thought I had lost her forever.

I opened my eyes and found myself still in the room with the eerie floating brains. The last thing I remembered was shouting to Harry about the brains trying to suffocate Ron, but a flash of red light which must have been a curse had come out of nowhere and knocked me out.

I looked around to see Luna who was beginning to come round, Ron who was giggling unnervingly and Hermione who was still unconscious. I shuffled over to Luna to make sure she was all right but wondered where Harry and Neville could have got to. That was, until I realise that angry voices and, every so often, what sounded like a small explosion were coming from the room off to the side. I couldn't make out any words but there was a scream and suddenly that female Death Eater who had been so desperate to get Harry's Prophecy came sprinting through the door. For a second I thought she was going to attack us again but she ran straight past us and through another door on the opposite wall, closely followed by Harry. The angry voices seemed to have stopped but things still weren't making much sense.

Until Neville appeared at the door and stumbled over to us. His nose was still bleeding quite badly and he was obviously out of breath but at least his expression wasn't one of panic any more.

"Neville," I gasped, "What the hell....?"

He knelt down on the floor, beside me and Luna - who was now fully conscious and amazingly didn't seem to be any the worse for wear - dabbing at his nose with a tissue.

"I don't dough," he said, shaking his head confusedly. "I dort we were dud for, but these people cabe id, I don't dough who dey were but dey were on our side - dere was Professor Lupid, the real Professor Boody and a couple of udders."

I think my heart missed several beats at that point. The Order....

"Was there a young woman with..." I paused. She could have looked like anything today. Never mind, I'd risk it anyway. "...with pink ... or purple hair?"

Neville nodded.

"Yeh, she was doig well but she god hit wid a curse, I thik, and fell dowd da steps. Professor Boody's tryig to help but to be hodest I dink she's dead."

I don't think I will ever be able to describe that feeling. It was as if someone had reached inside me, pulled out my heart and snapped it in half. Neville looked apologetic, but of course he and Luna had no idea who she, or any of the other Order members were.

"Are ... are you sure?" I asked Neville, though it didn't sound like it came from me.

"I really don't dough," Neville shrugged. "Do you dough her or subthig?"

I didn't reply. I felt so numb inside that for a moment I really thought I might be dreaming and that none of this was real. It was such a surreal setting, such crazy happenings it just couldn't be real ... could it...?

There was a noise at the door again and Professor Lupin appeared looking worse than I'd ever seen him before. The expression on his face was one of a man who had just lost everything and I genuinely thought he was about to tell me she was dead. Instead he looked wildly around, then stepped quickly over to us.

"Which way did they go?" he panted desperately. "Are you all okay?"

"That way," Luna answered, pointing to the door Harry and the Death Eater had run through just moments before. "I don't know who you are, but I do believe Harry's in danger." She sounded so ridiculously calm I could have hit her.

"What's going on?" I gasped, near to hysteria, trying to see past into the stone room behind him. "Why's Harry chasing that woman? What's happened to Tonks?"

"No time to explain right now," Lupin stood up and shook his head. Suffice to say that Sirius is dead and Harry's gone after Bellatrix. You lot just stay put, Madame Pomfrey should be here any minute." He turned and ran back into the stone room.

I couldn't believe it. Sirius was dead? But all I could think about, all that seemed to matter despite everything around me was Tonks. Why hadn't Professor Lupin told me? Maybe she wasn't dead ... or maybe he felt that she wasn't as important as Sirius.

Then, suddenly, Dumbledore appeared in the doorway. He also looked shaken and much less cool and calm than he usually does which scared me. If Dumbledore was shaken and upset, it must be really bad.

"Professor Dumbledore!" I called, frantically, but before I could say anything else there was a blinding flash of light and two ladies appeared beside him holding onto what looked like a small spade. A portkey. One of the ladies I recognised instantly as Madame Pomfrey but before I could figure out who the other was, she had been ushered through the door by Professor Lupin.

Dumbledore whispered something to Madame Pomfrey which made her gasp, but then she nodded in a businesslike way, seemed to gather herself together and walked over towards us as Dumbledore, quite literally, vanished. "Be with you in just one second, dears," she said briskly but not unkindly, and headed over to Hermione.

I knew she wouldn't be any more knowledgeable than me as to what had happened to Tonks so there was no point hurrying her. Plus, Hermione was still unconscious and of course I was worried about her. But she wasn't dead. She could be.

I couldn't think. I still felt that awful numbness inside that wouldn't let me react, as if someone had frozen me in time. I knew I wasn't be able to walk, but I even if I had been physically capable of doing so I still wouldn't have been able to move.

"She's out cold but no major damage done," Madame Pomfrey said as she turned to us. "Now, how are you all?" She took out her wand and surveyed us concernedly.

"I'm fine, but Ron's still under the effects of this curious curse that won't let him stop laughing," Luna informed her, somewhat dubiously, "Neville ... oh, he seems to have got his nosebleed under control now, and Ginny's broken her ankle." Who was that other woman, Madame Pomfrey?

"That was my sister, Rose," she answered, as she straightened my leg out gently and narrowed her eyes in concentration. "Professor Dumbledore requested our presence immediately, said there were several injured and at least one dead..." she paused, with a look that said 'I shouldn't have said that'. "No lasting damage here though," she added quickly, with an optimistic smile.

"Flying brains! Hee hee!" Ron giggled from behind me. Madame Pomfrey raised an eyebrow, then pointed her wand at him and muttered "Finite!" His foolish giggles ceased immediately and he looked around in surprise.

"Ginny ... Luna ... wha...?"

"Professor Lupin just said that Sirius died," I ventured. "I don't know if...."

Madame Pomfrey looked rather relieved that she hadn't said anything that we weren't supposed to know. She gave a small, shuddering sigh, then nodded briefly.

"That is what I have been told, yes," she confessed, tapping my leg with her wand and muttering something else. "And that dear girl with the, em, pink hair, Rose is more experienced with curse damage than I am so she's gone to see if there's anything that can be done for her."

A brief tingling sensation whizzed through my leg and the pain vanished instantly. To be honest I hadn't noticed it that much before; it had seemed rather insignificant, but suddenly my thoughts were flying together. The person I was in love with was possibly dead or dying in the room next to me and I could now walk. I was going to be with her and I didn't care what anyone thought.

"There, now," Madame Pomfrey smiled at me. "It'll probably be a bit sore for a while and it's probably best that you don't do too much walking for a day or so, but...."

I didn't wait for her to finish. I knew she meant well and was probably right, but this was more important. Before anyone had time to protest (apart from a "Dear...?" from Madame Pomfrey) I had jumped up and was running through the doorway, a huge lump forming in my throat and tears starting to prick the backs of my eyes.

As soon as I was through the doorway I could see her at the bottom of the steps; that pink hair always did stand out a mile. But this time it wasn't moving. Professor Moody and Madame Pomfrey's sister were kneeling either side of her and appeared to be performing some kind of spell, though whatever it was didn't seem to be working. And although I wanted to be optimistic and think positive, deep in my heart I honestly believed she was dead.

I must have been frozen to the spot for a few seconds before I managed to snap out of it and head down the steps. They were so steep and wide they reminded me of a colosseum in ancient Rome and I couldn't run down them, much as my instincts told me to; I had to go slow and sit down on each one before pushing myself down to the next. By the time I was halfway down I had abandoned all efforts to stop myself crying; my eyes were so blurred with tears I couldn't see clearly, I felt sick and dizzy, but nothing on earth was going to stop me getting to her.

I jumped the last step; time wasn't going to wait for me. My leg hurt as I landed and I fell hard on the cold stone floor but I got up again straight away and flung myself towards where she lay. Before I could get to her, Professor Moody stood up and held me back, gripping my shoulders firmly. His cloak was stained with blood and he looked decidedly ill himself.

"Please!" I sobbed, "Let me...."

"There's nothing you can do, Ginny," he said. Like his grip, his voice was firm but not unkind.

"Is she...?"

"She's alive," he said, his voice trembling slightly. "We just have to let Rose get on with her job now." He put an arm around me as my tears flowed freely and I fought to compose myself enough to speak.

"What's ... what's wrong with her? Is she going to be ok?"

Rose Pomfrey looked up at me and smiled uneasily. "I don't think the curse actually hit her; just knocked her over - it looks like the fall did the most damage. It's not good, but she's breathing; that's a good start."

"Can I do anything?" I knew I wouldn't be able to help, but I had to stay, I just had to.

"Not really, dear," Miss Pomfrey said kindly. "It would probably be best to get you and the others back to Hogwarts soon; make sure you're all alright. Alastor, would you go and fetch my sister, please? This young lady needs help right now; I'd rather not wait any longer.

Professor Moody nodded quickly and gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze before turning around and making his way up the steps, leaving me standing there alone and helpless. I knelt down beside Miss Pomfrey and wiped my eyes on my sleeve, wishing I could turn my tears off, just long enough to look at Tonks for possibly the last time.

"Madame Pomfrey," I choked, "she will live, won't she?"

There came no reply. As fresh tears filled my eyes I gazed down at the almost lifeless body of the young Auror before me. The pinkness of her hair had faded; her skin was the palest I have ever seen it and she made no movement except for the shallow rising and falling of her chest every few seconds. She looked so peaceful and still quite incredibly beautiful. It seemed impossible that at any moment the flame inside her could be put out.

"If I have anything to do with it she will," Miss Pomfrey's voice came at last, somewhat shakily. "You know her, dear? I don't think I've met her before - I think I would remember hair like that," she added with a small smile.

I nodded. "She's a Metamorphmagus. She and the rest of the Order spent a lot of time with our family over last summer and Christmas at Grimmauld Place. She's so lovely ... like the older sister I never had," I added quickly.

I heard hurried footsteps behind me and the other Madame Pomfrey appeared at my side.

"I thought you might be down here," she commented, looking at me sympathetically. "Best get back to the others now, dear - they're almost ready to take a Portkey back to Hogwarts."

"Please let me stay," I begged, my voice cracking. "Just until I know she's going to be all right, please, please!"

The two sisters looked at each other. "Very well," Madame Pomfrey conceded. "Actually, you might be able to help; we need both hands free to perform this primary healing spell and we need someone to keep her head still. It can sometimes make the body give a little jolt and we can't risk that before we've ruled out spinal damage."

I nodded and shivered slightly; I didn't feel quite so helpless any more but it also dawned on me that if the spell did not work there was always the possibility that she would die then and there, in front of me. I won't even try to describe what that felt like; it was beyond words, but I did know that given the choice I would have swapped places with her and died in her place. Anything, anything, if it would save her.

Madame Pomfrey ushered me around to the side so I wouldn't get in their way, then took my hands and showed me where to place them. She cupped them around Tonks' face, one each side with my thumbs just under her jawbone either side. My fingers were trembling, my heart was racing, but I had to keep her head still; I knew her life might depend on it.

"Okay," Rose Pomfrey began. "I've tried enervate three times. The second got her breathing again but she still won't regain consciousness. I suspect a cracked rib may have punctured her right lung ... I mended the rib but the damage it caused may still be present."

"We need to wake her up," her sister agreed. "For a witch or wizard," she said seriously, glancing at me, "being determined to survive can often work better than the most powerful of spells. If she is conscious she might be able to fight from within."

"Enervate!" she uttered, concentrating hard.

Nothing.

"Enervate!"

Nothing.

"Her breathing is slowing," Madame Pomfrey said suddenly, looking worried. "We're losing her."

"Together, Poppy," said Rose, and they joined hands.

"Enervate!"

Nothing.

Holding her head, feeling her soft but cool skin under my fingers, I screwed my eyes shut and prayed for a miracle. She could not die. Not here; not this night. When another "enervate" did not come I opened them, thinking it must have worked.

Rose Pomfrey held Tonks' wrist, feeling for a pulse.

"It's very slow," she sighed, shaking her head sadly. "I'm sorry, Ginny ... I don't think this is going to do any good."

I didn't relinquish my hold. My whole body had gone numb; even my tears had stopped. I couldn't move or speak; just stared at her face, willing her eyes to open.

"There is one last thing we can try," Madame Pomfrey said slowly. "Ginny, would you join us? The power of three might just have a greater effect. And since you know her, that may also work in our favour."

Me? I could make a difference? I nodded frantically.

"Yes. Anything!" I reached into my robes and pulled out my wand which was thankfully still intact despite all of the evening's events.

"You can't go wrong," Rose said gently. "Just let it come from inside. Ready? One, two, three...."

"Enervate!" we uttered simultaneously; my wand gave a soft flick.

Nothing.

From the heart, Ginny, said a little voice inside me.

"Enervate!" I repeated, summoning every drop of energy, power and love within me, imagining them bursting out of the end of my wand and filling her body with life once more.

It took me a second to realise I was the only one who had spoken the second time.

Then, from below my eyes, a sound came. The sound of a breath being taken. Something moved beneath my hands. My mouth fell open as her body stirred slightly and as I stared, dumbstruck at her face, her eyelids fluttered, then opened slowly.

"By Merlin!" Rose exclaimed, breathily.

"Don't move, Nymph ... I mean, Tonks," Madame Pomfrey said suddenly, looking somewhat stunned herself. "You're going to be fine, it's just important that you don't make any sudden movements. Ginny, you keep a hold there, love, until I say so."

"Gin...?" she whispered.

"It's okay," I said quickly, as tears spilled down my cheeks, one landing on hers. "You're going to be fine, it's all over. Everything's going to be fine."

Even as I said the words I knew I wasn't being honest. Sirius was dead, Harry was in mortal danger, as was Professor Dumbledore and possibly Professor Lupin. But she was alive. To me that was all that mattered.

She gave a slight murmur and slowly moved a hand up to her face to rub her eyes.

"Is everyone ... is everyone all right?"

"Just you concentrate on keeping still," Madame Pomfrey interjected suddenly, flashing me a look that I understood to mean 'don't tell her about Sirius'. I gave a slight nod and wondered if Tonks would believe me if I had to lie to her.

"Right," said Rose Pomfrey slowly, moving her wand back and forth in waves about a metre above us. "There's no spinal injuries. Excellent. Ginny, dear, you can let go now, just slowly, okay?"

I felt almost sorry to relinquish my hold, but as I did, Tonks reached up again and took my hand in her own. Her grip was very tight, and told me more than words could have at that moment; she was frightened and traumatised. In other circumstances I would have felt on top of the world feeling her hand in mine, but I would never have wished for this.

"I'm here," I choked; I could feel her pain.

She squeezed my hand tighter and tried to move but flinched, uttering a small cry.

"Okay, okay, don't go moving just yet," Madame Pomfrey said quickly. "Dear, does your breathing feel normal? Any difficulty?"

Tonks shook her head very slightly and raised an eyebrow, the faintest trace of a smile playing on her lips. "No. Just about everything else hurts but breathing's just tickety-boo."

I allowed myself a small smile. Her sense of humour was still intact. Madame Pomfrey and her sister still looked somewhat confused, though.

"Curious ... very unusual," Rose murmured.

"What is?" I asked.

"Nothing you need to worry about now," she said busily, and I knew from her tone of voice I wasn't going to be told any more for a while. "Let's get a Portkey going; we need to get you to St Mungo's. Let me see, who's got mine? Ah yes, I gave it to Alastor. Rose, could you...?"

"Of course," her sister replied, and headed off in search of Professor Moody.

"Madame Pomfrey waved her wand around a bit more, and I noticed it twitching a few times. I had relaxed a bit and was half sitting, half lying on the floor, still holding Tonks' hand and absent-mindedly stroking her hair. I hadn't realised how tired I was; I had no idea what time it could be; time no longer seemed to be relative.

"Right," said Madame Pomfrey. "It looks like you've cracked your collarbone slightly; this leg has at least two fractures, possibly even three; you've got more than your fair share of bruises and a few areas of tissue damage."

"Didn't you say a broken rib as well?" I asked. "You said that was why...."

Madame Pomfrey shook her head briefly and I could tell she was holding something back. "No. Not any more, anyway. I see no reason why you shouldn't make a full recovery, Nymphadora."

Those words were like music to me; I don't think I have ever felt so relieved. And after such a whirlwind of emotions all night it was the last straw for me and I promptly burst into tears. I quite surprised myself; I didn't think I had any tears left.

"Hey!" Tonks reached up and touched my cheek. "It's okay! You heard, I'm not gonna pop my clogs just yet!"

I couldn't help giving a small laugh. She was right, it was over. And though I knew that Sirius was dead and Harry could be in trouble, it was as if I'd shut that out as soon as I knew she was hurt and she was the only person that mattered in the world. I knew it wasn't as simple as that really, and the full consequences of the night's events were bound to be serious, but at least this part would have a happy ending.

After that, Madame Pomfrey insisted that we go back to the others and take the Portkey back to Hogwarts while Rose went with Tonks to St Mungo's. Half an hour earlier, nothing on earth would have made me leave her, but now I had calmed down and knew she would live I reluctantly agreed. It wouldn't be long until the end of term and I would see her again, after all.

"Take care of yourself, yeah?" I said, swallowing hard as I stood up.

"Don't worry," she smiled. "I'll be fine. Ginny...?"

"Mm?"

"Thankyou," she whispered, and I could see moisture in her eyes.

There was no need for words, which was just as well really because I couldn't think of any. I just gave a brief smile and turned away, wiping my eyes on my sleeve and climbed the steps back to the others. They seemed pretty much okay; they asked me what had happened but I played it down as much as possible, saying Tonks was a friend of the family and yes, she was going to be all right. They didn't ask for the details but that was fine; I didn't want to give them. Hermione had already been taken back by a different portkey so she didn't know what was going on at the time.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. Soon after arriving back to Hogwarts we got news that Harry was all right, which was a great relief to all of us - we'd never have got to sleep without knowing. But even after we were all in bed, tucked up in the hospital wing I couldn't sleep. I didn't even feel tired even though it was the middle, heading towards the end of the night. I lay awake for ages. My mind was so full of 'what if's and most of them were in the negative. It wasn't doing me any good but I couldn't help it; my brain had gone into overdrive.

After what seemed like hours I sat up and wiped troubled tears from my eyes with a tissue. She could have died. She could have died without knowing I love her.

I heard soft footsteps nearby and looked up to see Madame Pomfrey walking across the hospital wing towards me. She looked as exhausted as I felt, with her hair in a bit of a mess and wearing just her nightdress, dressing gown and slippers. She smiled wearily and sat down on the bed beside me.

"Can't sleep?" she asked, simply.

I shook my head and dabbed at my eyes again.

"Me neither," she confessed, stifling a yawn. "I'm tired, but far too awake, if you know what I mean. My goodness, what a night. Would you fancy a hot chocolate, dear? I could certainly do with one."

That sounded like a pretty good idea; anything was better than lying alone in the dark. So the next thing I knew, Madame Pomfrey and I were sitting at a small table in her office just off the hospital dormitory sipping at hot chocolate while trying to either wake up or nod off; it was hard to tell which. She might be getting on a bit and seem a little set in her ways at times but she's a genuinely nice person really; just the kind you want with you in a crisis.

Suddenly a thought came into my head which I hadn't remembered until that moment. I was wary of asking at first, but I had to know and she was as good a person as any to ask....

"Madame Pomfrey," I began, perhaps a little too out of the blue for she jumped slightly, as if I'd woken her from a catnap.

"Yes, Ginny?"

"I didn't ask before because I got the idea that ... that maybe it wasn't the right time. But back in the Ministry, when you thought Tonks was ... in trouble. Your sister said she had a punctured lung or something at first; she told you when you first arrived. But then after we'd done that spell ..."

"Ah ..." Madame Pomfrey smiled but looked a little awkward.

"Did we mend it or something? Because you didn't mention it again, even after you said she was going to be okay, and I just wondered how that had happened?"

Madame Pomfrey set her mug down and was obviously thinking hard. I was on edge myself; I always get a bit nervy when I talk about Tonks to anyone, but I couldn't help feeling that I was about to be told something that I might not want to hear.

"You know that her injuries were indeed life threatening; you don't need me to tell you that."

"You mean they still could be!?" I gasped, a surge of panic flooding through me.

"No, no," Madame Pomfrey said quickly. "No, I assure you her life is no longer in danger and I wouldn't expect there to be any long term damage. But the fact is, she was in serious trouble before you performed the enervate spell."

"You and your sister did it too," I pointed out.

"Not the second time. You did that alone. And that's what woke her up and, I believe, repaired her cracked rib and punctured lung, which were the most life-threatening of her injuries."

"But that can't be right," I blurted out. "You and your sister are trained healers with ... with years of experience. I'm a fourth year student, I've never learned anything like that! How could I save her on my own?"

Madame Pomfrey picked up her mug and took a long drink. She then put it down and looked at me quizzically.

"Can you think of no reason?"

I thought for a moment and genuinely could not think of one. Then, slowly, one entered my mind. But I couldn't tell her that! Could I...?

The look on my face must have given it away, because suddenly Madame Pomfrey was smiling. "Got it?"

"Um ..." I stuttered, completely unable to think of any excuses. "Um, well ... maybe, sort of ...."

"There's no need to be embarrassed, dear," Madame Pomfrey said, sounding almost surprised as she scooped her empty mug off the table and into the sink. "There should never be any shame or embarrassment in loving someone."

I could have died on the spot. Was it written across my face? How did she know? But however she knew, I was well aware that there would be no denying it; digging myself into a hole would only make things worse. But maybe I could spare my blushes and pretend it was purely platonic? Yes, I had to. Otherwise I'd just end up sitting here turning a violent shade of red while her imagination ran riot. Healers may well give the impression of being indifferent and non-judgemental but they must think about stuff; they're only human.

"Well, like I said," I began, slowly as so not to trip myself up. "I've ... we've ... the whole family have spent a lot of time with the Order over the past year ...."

Madame Pomfrey sat back down, looking genuinely interested.

"And ... well, you know I've got five brothers and am used to being the only girl ... and she's not really that much older than me ... and Hermione ... and she's such a laugh and a really nice person, it's been like having an older sister; an older sister I never had."

The healer nodded, smiling. "I can understand that."

"And with being fifteen and everything ... well, growing up, puberty and stuff can make you crazy sometimes and since she's managed to get out the other side, not all that long ago, she's been able to help me, you know, with a few things I was ... confused about. Things that you sometimes ... maybe ... wouldn't really want to talk to your mum or family about." I said all of that with increasing speed; I must have been keen to get it over with. But it was true, all of it was true and I felt secretly quite proud of myself for saying it.

"She sounds like a wonderful person," Madame Pomfrey smiled, "and I hope I will get to know her in the future. She was no doubt very lucky that you were there tonight. Like I said, I am in very little doubt that it was you who saved her life."

"And ..." I began, still not entirely convinced. "And ... love ... love alone, can it really do that?"

"I suspect that you are developing a natural gift for healing," Madame Pomfrey said thoughtfully. "But yes, I believe that in this case it was indeed your love for her that saved her."

"You mean like when Harry, in his first year, had that, uh, incident with Professor Quirrel and Vol...I mean, you know who, and when Harry touched him ... because of his mother's love for him, he..."

"That's right," Madame Pomfrey nodded, smiling. Love comes in all shapes and forms, Ginny. Its power is immeasurable. It can break down barriers, overcome the most treacherous obstacles ... and even, as you have seen tonight, save lives."

Another thought struck me. "Does she know? About what ... what I did?"

"Yes, of course. As soon as you had gone she asked me if you'd done what she thought you'd done and naturally I told her the truth. She seemed ... I don't know, quite overcome. But in a good way," she added quickly.

Oh my god. Tonks knows I love her.

"You and she will always have a close bond, I can tell," Madame Pomfrey smiled. "And that's something nobody can ever take away."

I smiled. She was right, of course she was right. I yawned and rubbed my eyes.

"Think you could sleep now?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I think I could. Thanks for this. It helped."

"Any time, love," said Madame Pomfrey, kindly, as we left the office. "Gosh, I think I could do with a couple more hours myself!"

I finally felt at peace as I tiptoed back to my bed and slipped between the sheets. It wasn't all going to be forgotten in the morning, but for now there were no more wars to fight and I could sleep at last.

~

And that's what happened. That's what happened that fateful night that changed so many lives forever. And now I find myself stretching and putting my magazine away as Platform nine and three quarters approaches. I realise that if Mum and Dad are there, maybe some of the Order are too. Don't get too excited, Ginny, I tell myself, she's probably got much more important things to be doing. But if she is there, she might know ... no, she WILL know ...

Ron asks about my 'boyfriend' again so I spin him a yarn about Dean Thomas; that should keep him quiet for a while. Well, maybe not quiet, judging by his roar of "WHAT?" but it might stop him asking too many questions in future. We all get our stuff together and finally step out onto the platform, breathing in that familiar smell of London. Suddenly Mum throws herself towards me and I find myself struggling for breath as I am smothered in a thick woolly hug. God knows why she's wearing a woolly jumper in the middle of summer ... I guess she's trying to look inconspicuous for the Muggles. Then Dad repeats the process; it's great to see them again, I do miss them while I'm away. Yes, even Fred and George; it's been funny not having them around at Hogwarts.

And then they're hugging Ron and Harry and I realise I've temporarily forgotten to look around for her. For a second I think she isn't there, that maybe she isn't well enough yet or simply isn't fussed about meeting us, after all we're not family or anything ....

Then I see a flash of pink hair, a purple t-shirt and suddenly her arms are around me, just like I dreamed they would be. She is alive, well, cheerful, beautiful, and I know at last that what I'm feeling isn't some stupid schoolgirl crush that will go away; it is love. I love this woman and I'm proud of it. She doesn't let go but holds me, makes a soft noise which sounds suspiciously like someone who is repressing tears and gives me a gentle squeeze ... she knows I love her. Maybe not to the full extent, but she must know; she must be aware there is no other explanation for what I did. And yet I'm not embarrassed or terrified any more; I'm standing here in her arms holding her tight ... and for the first time I know for sure that I love her ... and never want to let her go.