Taking Over Me

I remember the first time I picked you up, when I got home from Diagon Alley. You looked so unimportant but yet you fascinated me. I remember turning through your worn pages day after day, trying to piece together why I felt so drawn to you, and no matter what, the plain black cover, and yellowing pages gave away nothing.

I would carry you around with me everywhere I went, and I remember that Ron used to tease me and Fred and George would always steal you from me. I needed a friend I could talk to so bad, and maybe some how I knew all along it was you I could talk to and how to do it. And somewhere deep inside, I think you helped me too.

I remember the day when I finally gave up and wrote in you, hoping to do anything to feed my hunger for you, I knew I felt you even then. Oh, what I surprise I got the first time you wrote back, and how the second your poisonous words bled through the paper, I was ensnared by you.

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all of my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

Because your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

I remember all of my childish imbalances, and fears that I fed into you, and I never knew it only made you stronger. The things I wrote and felt that hurt me so bad were only a benefit to you, and you could never protect me like you said you would. You could never just shut out all the pain I felt, and yet I always went crawling back to you to tell you all of my innermost problems.

When I said I didn't want you anymore and I threw you away, I think I threw away a piece of me, as if a piece of my soul was throw into that toilet with you. It hurt so bad when you left, and it still does.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just to real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

And you never really loved me like you said you did. We would never go away together and I could never become your princess forever, you only lied like you always have. And it hurt so bad to believe you and to try to retreat into a false semblance of a world with you that was never there. I think I tried to collapse into myself just to be with you, and it only hurt me more.

Sometimes at night, I can hear your voice, and it haunts me, it tempts me, and it makes me want to come back to you. No matter how much time goes by, you'll always be there in the back of my mind, in the corner of my soul, and you'll never go away.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I've held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

You told me that you'd always be there for me, and that you'd never let anything happen to me. That if I did what you wanted I could some day feel your body, see your face, and be with you. You said when we were together you could wipe away all of the tears I had shed to you and for you. That you would protect me from everything that hurt me inside. I gave you all I had to give, and you took it so greedily, ripping it from me, and leaving me to bleed crimson regret and betrayal.

You used to captivate me

By your resonating light

But now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

I could never get rid of you, and I was bound by the life you left behind, even if it was nothing but a memory. And now it feels like your still there, looming out of the darkest recesses of my mind, driving me insane.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I've held your hand through all these years

But you still have all of me

The pain you inflicted on me won't go away, the scars on my soul are ever present, and every day seem to bleed with more sadness because your not here to make more. You tore into me, and those scars will never disappear. You said you'd protect me, hold me, and love me, but you never could, and you never did. But you still had all of me and you still do, you made sure of that.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

And though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

I hear your voice resonating in my head Tom, and I tell myself that your not there. But I know you are, your face is imprinted on the back of my eyelids, so beautiful and terrible at once. And you said you loved me, and that I would be your Princess forever, but you lied like you always have. You never loved me, not ever, you only used me, and broke me, and cut me, and bruised me for your own gain.

I remember so vaguely me dying so slowly, the life fading from me, and you bent over me in that cold, dark place, and I thought you were there to be my Prince to save me from this hell I made for myself. I remember as the dark clouded my vision, and the pain numbed my senses, you looking at me with a face of porcelain beauty , no pity even graced you features, you merely stared in disgust, and I finally knew you weren't my prince you were the evil I felt inside me all along, poisoning me inside. Your with me now like you always have been, but now I realize, like I should have on the floor of that cold dungeon that I was alone all along.