Brothers

They say that brothers are supposed to be close. They say that they're supposed to love and cherish each other, even if they don't shout it to the heavens.

We were neither close, nor did we cherish one another.

And we liked it that way.

***

He was older than me by three years, so naturally he thought that he knew everything before I did. He used to come home from Hogwarts, his eyes downcast as mother greeted him sourly, pulling me aside once she had run through her list of disappointments - all of which related to him somehow. And he always sported some new wonderous prize to entertain himself during the summer holidays.

"Dungbombs!" he once proclaimed gleefully, as soon as we were out of earshot.

"Dungbombs?" I asked, blinking in surprise. "Sirius! Mother will kill you if she catches you with them!"

"Pish posh," he muttered, waving his hand around like it didn't matter.

Truthfully, I was fascinated. Though you'd never see me telling Sirius that. What would Mother say if she ever found out? I merely shook my head, trying to pry my eyes off of the mysterious objects. We'd never been allowed near tools of such malevolence. Mother and Father strictly forbade anything of the like after one particular incident with Belch Powder.

"Sirius..." I'd said in warning, but that all too familiar smirk appeared.

"What?" he questioned.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't cause trouble!"I exclaimed. "Things are bad enough as it is. The last thing you need is mother breathing down your neck because the kitchen smells like rotten eggs!"

But naturally, there was no stopping my brother. You could practically see the wheels in his head turning as he thought of some new plot to torment my parents. And he knew that things wouldn't get any easier for him, though that's probably why he kept misbehaving. Mother and Father never truly forgave himfor being sorted into Gryffindor. From what Narcissa's told me, the hat chooses your house for you. That didn't, however, stop her from treating him like scum as well.

"Who says I'm going to cause trouble?"he asked, trying to sound innocent. Like hell. There wasn't an innocent bone in Sirius' body.

"I'm not stupid-"

"That's debatable."

"-I know you're going try something."

So it had been an endless cycle of argueing and insults, before we both sulked off for dinner. Still, I was impressed by his gall. Dungbombs were even more surprising than last years treat of Nose-Biting Teacups. And prayed that he might find something much more creative this year than setting them loose on Mother.

I thought that maybe I could help himthis time. Perhaps if I aided him, he wouldn't get caught and I wouldn't have to spend the rest of the holidays listening to my parents scolding him. Or, perhaps if I rid him of them all together, there wouldn't be a problem to begin with.

So when the oppurtunity presented itself, I grasped it.

It had been a week later, as Sirius sat in my father's study, grudgingly working through his summer homework. I'd known where he kept the Dungbombs. He never did have great places for hiding them, and even Bella knew of the hidden compartment in his closet. Perhaps he didn't care much for concealing his possessions, though I can only assume such answers.

Silently, I stole into my brothers room, glancing over my shoulder every two seconds. Never had I gone behind my brother's back and done anything of this sort. It had been exciting. Yes, exciting was the word. I bet Sirius hadn't even imagined me ever daring to touch his possessions.

So, I felt around in his closet, searching for that small groove in the wood that would aid me on my quest. It didn't take long to open the compartment and retrieve the prize within. I felt rather proud of myself at that moment. I don't know why, and thinking about it now, it was a rather trivial moment, wasn't it?

And I don't know what set them off, truthfully I don't. Maybe my grip had been too strong; that's what I figured in the end at least. Either way, the Dumgbombs had gone off, leaving behind the reeking stench of rotting fruit. Jumping back, I began fanning at the disgusting smell and ran out of the room at an alarming speed.

Down the stairs I ran, forgetting that I still held the silly gags in my hands. Behind me, I heard Sirius' voice emanate out of nowhere and in my surprise, I tripped over my own feet, rapidly tumbling down the last flight of steps and landing on my back with a resonating thud.

Three things happened rather quickly. I heard footsteps pound hurriedly down the stairs. I saw my brother standing over me, his face riddled with... could that be? Concern? And then, I heard a loud shriek issue from the living room.

"Regulus!"

Ah, it was Mother. My head felt heavy, and it was throbbing like never before. I couldn't seem to sit up at the time, though looking at Mother now would not be a bonus. No doubt she could smell the stench of Dungbombs which still lingered on his robes, or perhaps she'd spot the gags which had flown out of his hand upon my fall and construed themselves along the staircase.

"What is the meaning of this?" she roared, casting an accusing glance at Sirius.

Trouble. This would have no doubt equaled trouble. I tried to open my mouth to speak, to explain and pray to god that she didn't hate me for the mess I'd made. To my surprise though, I saw Sirius step away from me, his face passive and submissive.

"Regulus stole something of mine," he said nonchalantly, glancing down at his little brother once more. "I was merely trying to get it back."

I cringed.

'Sirius!' my mind screamed. 'You mad fool!'

I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. Laying there, I saw the look of fury that my Mother sported as she eyed the Dungbombs and her fallen son.

The row that followed that night was one of the loudest I'd ever heard. Mother was up for hours, yelling at the top of her lungs as to how Sirius could've 'killed' me. It wasn't her that Sirius had to worry about, but rather it was father; who had been out, busy on Ministry business and wouldn't be returning for days.

She'd of course, had both Sirius and Kreacher take me up to my bedroom, and she'd check in on me every hour, before returning to rant at her oldest son. I heard her muttering to herself whether to owl St. Mungos and summon a healer to check me over, though I'd managed to murmur that I would be fine and that I only wanted to sleep.

Even though sleep was the last thing on my mind.

But I did eventually drift off into the land of nod, and when I awoke, I found my brother sitting next to my bed. His eyes were closed and for a moment, I thought he may have slipped off as well. However, the moment I shuffled forward to touch his placid face, his brown eyes opened, staring back at me in an awkward sort of manner.

"You okay?" questioned Sirius.

"'Course I am," I croaked quickly, unsure of how to act. Should I thank him? Should I apologise? Should I hide under my sheets and wait until he goes away?

"Good," he said curtly, standing up and stretching before heading for the door.

"Sirius!" I called, surprising myself. "Wait a minute."

"What is it?" he asked, supressing a nonexistent yawn. "It's rather late, Regulus. I wouldn't mind going to bed right about now."

"You shouldn't have lied to Mother," I muttered with much hesitation.

Sirius seemed to contemplate this for a moment, before shaking his head brashly. "No, Regulus," he proclaimed gently, "I think I did the right thing."

"You lied to your mother! How is that right?" I demanded.

Yes, I demanded something of him. The first and last time I would ever demand anything from my brother. He folded his arms, black robes intertwining as he sat himself back down next to my bed.

"Tell me, would you rather that I told the truth to our dear old mum that you fell down the stairs while escaping the terror of Dungbombs you yourself let off?"

"It was an accident!"

"Answer the question."

I sighed in exhaustion as my head began to throb once more. I ruffled my hair, which was a sure sign that I was nervous and didn't wish to answering. Letting myself lay down once more, I shook my head slowly.

"No. Truth be told, it wasn't my intention to even use the Dungbombs; I just wanted to get rid of them. I hate to think what Mother would've done had she found me with them at the bottom of the staircase."

"So what's the problem?" he asked nonchalantly, and I wondered for a moment whether he was truly that ignorant.

"You shouldn't have taken the blame for something I did, Sirius. You're already in enough trouble as it is!"

To my surprise, his face slowly contorted into somewhat of an smile. And he laughed, oh so softly. I wasn't sure what to do, let alone begin to understand how my simple answer could seem so humorous.

"Since when did you become so noble and righteous?"

I didn't answer, but rather sat there in shock.

Sirius grinned and clapped me on the shoulder. "It doesn't suit you, Regulus. But look, I'm fine with how things are. Mother and Father can loathe me as much as they want, as I'm definitely not going to stop loathing them back. Just promise me one thing?"

"Okay," I answered, somewhat in relief.

"Promise me you'll never, and I mean never go near anything I bring home from Hogwarts. Ever."

And so I promised. And Sirius left me to a sleepless night of contemplation and confusion. It had been one of the few times ever in our lives wherein we hadn't acted like arrogant siblings, competeing to outdo each other. Of course, this bliss wasn't made to last. A small, singular event does not change the course of a person's life. Rather it makes for old memories which one lays awake at night, wondering how such a situation took place.

Even now, as a grown man, I think back to this tale and I become confused. The fact that Sirius ever cared for me, or held for me the slightest sense of concern at all, merely strikes me as foreign and unusual. We haven't seen each other in years, not that it matters.

But I can honestly say that I did have a brother, way back when. And he was alright, for a time. He was brave, strong and smart. And as time progressed, I came to hate that about him. I came to loathe everything concerning Sirius, from his attitude to his friends.

That was then and this is now. I no longer have a brother. I no longer have a family, as they've all left this world and continued on to 'the other side'. And here I am, alone and rotting in the ground. I'm nothing more than ashes, bone, dust and worms.

And I wonder when I'll wake up again...

~Fin