If You Love Him, You’ll Let Him Go

"If You Love Him, You'll Let Him Go"

He's so perfect, so forbidden. And it's taking all the power in my once strong mind to resist reaching for his touch.

"The Dark Lord will kill you."

She awoke from her dream like state, expecting the cautious voice to be his. But it was her loyal friend, Zacharias Smith.

He was right, she thought, he always is. The Dark Lord would kill me if he knew I remained clutching to one strand of my sickeningly good past.

She looked up at him, tears welling in her eyes.

"Where did we begin this road to becoming a Death Eater?" She sighed miserably.

"When we woke up and realised that we did not belong; that all that we were fighting for seemed pointless. And maybe because we crave the forbidden fruits that being a Death Eater offers."

But no, it doesn't offer all. She thought bitterly as she surveyed the small apartment where they had lived all our adult life. Carefully Zach put a warm hand on hers. He looked grim.

"Perhaps you want him because you know you can't. You love to torture yourself; I know what you're like."

She pulled her hand away, knowing he was probably right. "I love him." She murmured desperately.

"Then leave us. Let not another dark thought haunt that mind of yours and be forever at peace with Potter," he said coldly.

"Zach," she whispered in a hurt tone.

He looked at her apologetically. They both knew he did not mean to say this- out loud at least.

"You know I will never stand against the Dark Lord again."

He nodded, coupling it with an expression I couldn't understand.

The night moved on and they peacefully discussed seemingly unrelated topics in succession for the sole purpose of distracting her from Harry. It even included reflections of their first mission together and the way they had made that mudblood scream. And yet it seemed odd to her that all did not share their opinion in the purification of blood. It had unquestionable logic for sure, so did that mean that Harry Potter was unintelligent, stupid and idle? No. Not him. He was blinded, misguided by the half-truths he had been smothered in. And yet she loved him because of it. It made him gentle, at ease, and most of all, heroic. When asked why she loved him, however, she did not answer it honestly, but shrugged her shoulders and responded airily. "It's love. Love has no explanation." Zach simply nodded and smiled back

Hours later they sat in silence, comfortable in each others company until Zach said awkwardly, "I'm going to bed. I have a lot of work tomorrow."

Her eyes narrowed immediately at his sudden unease. "What is your task?" She hissed slowly and deliberately, each syllable laced with the sweetest threat.

He looked at her guiltily and sat back down, but this time on the floor beneath her. It was as if he felt unworthy to sit on a seat or that he had to sink as low as he could.

"Everything has come into action. Plans that have been acted upon so far have all lead to this point..." He trailed off, now no longer looking her in the eye.

"Zacharias," she said firmly.

"I--I--am going to kill him."

His head dropped. She ran over to him and dropped to the rug with him. There she roughly tilted his chin so his eyes could look into hers, which were pleading desperately with every aching wish in her soul. He shifted from her touch, got up and departed to his bedroom; closing the door unbelievably quietly for the speed it was shut. For a second she still dwelled on the coarse rug, thinking of all things in perspective. Then suddenly as if powered into a speedy haze she flung aside his bedroom door and approached him, sitting up uneasily in bed.

"It's been a while since you've been in here," he sneered.

"Shut up and get out, Smith."

"Get out of where: the bed or the flat?"

She almost snarled at her life long friend and former partner and gradually Zach's face softened.

"Don't ask me not to do it. We'll be no better than traitors," he said seriously.

At once, her aggressive stance weakened. She collapsed on the bed sobbing. Zach crawled out of the covers and stroked her hair caringly.

"I'm sorry, Zach. If only there was another way. If I could just tell him how I feel and make him see sense. If only he would join us." She stopped weeping the moment she'd finished speaking. "He could become a Death Eater!"

Zach looked at her pitifully. She was so blinded by love for Harry that she had lost all sense of reality. "This is the boy we fight. He's trouble for us for a reason. Because he truly believes in his addled cause! No, it can't be done."

And she looked so hurt, so insecure. And all night he held her in his arms knowing he caused this pain. And then he said something so raw and true, he had not thought it through. "You're a Death Eater. No matter who sends that final life draining curse, you will have killed him too."

Perhaps because she knew it was true was why she left that night. She left for Harry; she had to at least try and convince him, even if it could threaten her freedom. Zach tried to chase after her, but a freezing sensation flowed through his blood until he found that he could do no more than blink an eye.

Please come back to me safe, he wished.

She hurried through the cobbled streets, not knowing fully where she was going. All she knew was that she had to find Harry and everything would work out after that. She raced down a quiet alleyway, ignoring a vagrant nestled next to the wall. But she ignored it at her cost. With ease he jumped up; revealing himself not to be a vagrant in baggy clothes, but a masked Death Eater in a billowing stormy grey robe.

"Stand aside, fool," she snapped.

A smirk teased the masked Death Eater's lips. "Who are you?"

"You know full well who I am, Malfoy. Now let me pass."

She clutched her wand tightly, prepared to strike him out of the way. It was now Malfoy that stood between her and Harry.

"True." He laughed, deliberately biding time. "Why do you hurry without your mask?"

"Because I do not wish to advertise myself to Azkaban! Unlike your father," she added craftily. "5 years to the day he was caught. Excuse me if I do not follow his moronic example."

Draco instantly fired a curse at her, but it was met midway by another. As soon as they touched both froze to ice and shattered into the air.

"What are you playing at?" Barked an authoritative voice. "You were sent to escort her not fight her."

"Smith, you are not required 'till dawn." Draco said dismissively.

"I am here for a friend. And I'm glad I came." Zach replied.

Draco did not say anything, and then a large grin formed.

"How touching. You're here because you love her. I understand. You don't want to see your loved one die..."

"What?" She said, confused and frightened.

At that moment their attention was distracted by the entrance of three adolescents walking through the tunnel.

"That can't be part of the Death Eater plan. Snape clearly said that Draco would be the only one here!" One whispered in an urgent voice.

"Well. It's either a change of plan or a trick," announced a boy with a grim tone. It was Harry.

Zach looked at his friend immediately, sensing a change in the wind. He had to kill him now, whether she was there or not. With deadly precision he aimed his wand at Harry's heart. But at that moment, whether coincidental or not, Harry ducked.

"Fool," Draco hissed, "Now they will attack. We have to end this now!"

Zach mustered his will, thinking thoughts of only killing Harry. He wanted, yearned, and strived to do this.

"Put your wand down, Smith." Draco said. "She must do it."

Zach and his friend exchanged worried glances. She shakily raised her wand, the wood almost slipping away from her skaky grip.

"She won't do it," Ron said to Harry. "She loves you."

"I'm ready just incase." Harry whispered; wand clutched firmly in his hand.

"Just stun her!" Urged Hermione.

Zach had no idea what ran through her mind in this moment. But he knew whatever happened in this next second would determine his next move.

It is my life as well that is on the line here. I can have so much more. The world can finally see the truth. He must die. I must sacrifice him.

"If you love him, you'll let him go." Zach whispered.

She looked into Zach's eyes and turned back to Harry. The world around her was frozen with lack of movement. Her thoughts were stilled and she now finally believed in what she was to do. Smiling knowingly she raised her wand. Everyone stood tense. Draco grinned, and Zach looked up expectantly. "Avada Kedavra."

A green light issued from all three wands. All held their breath silently. But Harry did not hold his breath out of mere suspense. He clung helplessly to the last strand of breath, wishing it wasn't true. And that he hadn't been so foolhardy and reliant on love. Love does not conquer all. But evil destroys, decimates and smothers all in its path, which he should have known. However, Harry had been aligned for another fate, and this alone saved him. He truly was The Boy Who Lived. He had survived the curse once more, unlike the girl who lay opposite him...

There she lay, dead beyond all recovery. A slight smile on her face, but even her last expression had been a lie. Zach was the only one who could see this; he could read her face so well. He had spent so many years just gazing lovingly at it, studying the way a hint of a dimple on her left cheek appeared when she smiled, how she tried to smile ever so slightly when she was unhappy. She never wanted to make people sad. Not even now. But Zach wasn't like her. He couldn't hold back the tears when he saw her face.

"You knew?" he said hoarsely to Draco.

Draco nodded. Not an ounce of remorse showed on his face. But she was dead. She was gone! Can he not even shed a tear for her? And now Zach felt guilty. He was too slow to have jumped in front and blocked the curse. He truly would have done that. He never got to tell Ginny, but he loved her. And to him: Love does conquer all.