Just One More Night

Just one more night. One more night until it was all over. Ginny had never felt so free, so calm. Usually her head was too crammed with thoughts for her to fill calm. Tonight, she was just remembering.

She remembered the Chamber of Secrets from when she was eleven. She remembered him on top of her, feeling her, thrusting into her, hurting her. No one ever knew about it but Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore. She didn't want anyone to know, didn't want them to know how dirty she was, what a little whore she was. How weak she was.

He wouldn't stay out of her head after that. How could he do that to her? Ginny loved him, and she thought he loved her too. But he used her. It was all a lie. The screams in her head wouldn't stop, and she cried so much. She never felt safe.

Then it happened again. She was sixteen, sipping a butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks. It was getting dark, so she decided to head back. As she turned down a side road, she was tackled. She was attacked, raped, again. She screamed and kicked and fought for all she was worth, but she couldn't do anything. Her wand snapped when she was tackled, so she couldn't cast any spells to protect herself. He pumped into her over and over, ripped her clothes, made her bleed. He left, and she curled up there, sobbing. She tried to get up, but it hurt so badly. No one found her until the next day.

A few months afterward, she went to the Astronomy Tower late one night and curled up into the darkest part she could find. An hour later, someone came up. Whoever it was, they didn't seem to notice her, and she wasn't about to make herself known. The person climbed over the railing. Ginny couldn't help but be curious.

He turned his face, and Ginny saw who it was: Draco Malfoy. She felt half-tempted to push him until she saw the look on his face. It was a horribly pained look, and tears were streaming down her cheeks. Ginny felt a sudden surge of emotion, and before she knew it, she rushed forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Stop!" she cried.

Draco gave a start. "Wha. . .? Weasley, what are you doing here?" He sounded angry, but Ginny could tell he was trying to hide how upset he was.

"I might ask you the same thing!" Ginny snapped. "What on earth are you thinking?"

"How could you possibly understand the pain I'm in?!" Draco shouted. "You have no idea!"

Ginny squeezed tighter. "I understand better than you could possibly imagine," she said softly, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "Just get down, okay?" She was confused as to why she could touch him without screaming.

Much to Ginny's surprise, Draco obeyed her. Ginny, feeling overcome for some reason, started sobbing on his shoulder.

"Let go of me!" Draco snarled, and shoved her off. "What's wrong with you?"

Ginny stared at him, tears streaking her flushed cheeks. She couldn't seem to stop crying, nor could she speak. Ginny was surprised when he spoke with such compassion in his voice as he repeated what he had just said. "What's wrong with you?"

Ginny started subconsciously backing away from him. "I can't tell you."

Draco reached to hold her. "You can tell me."

"STAY AWAY!" Ginny shrieked, and pushed him away. "Don't touch me!"

Draco blinked, shocked for a second, then shrugged. "Fine. See you." He turned to go.

Ginny's eyes widened. "W-wait!" She grabbed his wrist. "Don't leave me here all alone!" Draco turned to look at her, and Ginny looked at the ground. "I. . . I was. . . raped. Twice. In the Chamber of Secrets when I was eleven, and at Hogsmeade when I was sixteen. I. . . god! I hate this, I fucking hate this!" She started sobbing.

Draco's eyes softened, and he wrapped his arms around her. "Sh, it's alright. . . . I won't leave you alone here, and I won't hurt you. I promise."

A bright spot in her life. She and Draco started going out, but things got rocky after awhile, when the relationship got serious. He'd make a move on her, and she'd freeze. Sometimes she'd start to scream. And she always cried.

Thoughts of suicide went through her head constantly after the Chamber of Secrets incident, but she didn't actually decide to do it until one particularly bad day. She had found a cutting charm and had been using it on herself for awhile, and one day Draco saw them. He told Madam Pomfrey, and she told Ginny's parents. There was talk of sending her to St. Mungo's. Ginny couldn't take it. She wasn't crazy! She was fine! Why did Draco have to find out? Why'd he have to tell? Why was this happening?! She didn't know what to do. She thought of killing herself, but she told herself the same thing she always told herself. What about her family and friends? How would they feel? Then a thought came to her. Why did it matter? After she was dead, none of it would affect her. She couldn't feel guilty over hurting anyone. She wouldn't be in pain anymore. She had a way out.

Ginny sighed and turned over in her bed. It was her last night in this bed, and she wanted to enjoy it. She wanted to be awake for her last day alive.

It was late, and everyone was asleep. Ginny was in the prefect's bathroom, relaxing in a nice, hot bath, filled with perfumes. She wanted to look and feel perfect before she died, after all. She had picked out her nicest dressrobes, her best beauty potions and muggle makeup. She had planned it out so carefully. Nothing could go wrong.

After she was ready, she went to the Astronomy Tower. It was a beautiful night. The moon was full and casted a lovely glow on the grounds, the stars were twinkling, it wasn't too warm or too cool. A gentle breeze caressed her hair gently. It was the perfect night to end it.

She climbed over the railing and looked down. Her heart was pounding. She was about to die. No, she was about to free herself.

Ginny stared down and cursed herself for being so nervous. Why? She was about to be free. No one could hurt her anymore. So why was her heart beating so fast?

"Ginny!"

Ginny looked over her shoulder. "Draco," she whispered softly.

"Ginny, what are you doing?" Draco looked scared.

Ginny smiled. "I'm freeing myself, babe. Please don't stop me."

"Ginny, please. It doesn't have to be this way." He extended his hand to her.

She just stared. She couldn't speak. The moonlight illuminated her face, and Draco saw the pain hidden in it. She was so beautiful at that moment. Draco wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and stroke that lovely, fiery hair and tell her that everything would be okay, to kiss those soft lips until the pain faded away. "Ginny, please. You saved me once before. You were my savior, my reason to live. Let me do as much for you."

"I'm sorry, Draco. I'm so sorry. I love you. I always have, and I always will. But there's nothing left for me." She hesitated, as though there was something she wanted to say, but she couldn't quite get out. "I. . . I don't want our child to live in this horrible world. Please forgive me, love. Don't ever forget me."

And then she was gone into the darkness.