Astronomy Tower
Draco Malfoy Harry Potter Seamus Finnigan
Slash Romance
Multiple Eras
Published: 05/11/2003
Updated: 07/03/2003
Words: 31,199
Chapters: 17
Hits: 154,034

Seamus is Seamus and You are Yourself

Ari Munami

Story Summary:
Harry goes through some er... changes in his Sixth Year and everyone, including Draco Malfoy, sits up and takes notice.

Chapter 16

Chapter Summary:
Harry returns to Hogwarts in his Sixth Year slightly, er... changed. Everyone, including Draco Malfoy, sits up and takes notice.
Author's Note:
Completed before OotP.



I was just reading a suitably thick book in the Common Room when Ron came rushing up to me, looking very worried.

"'Mione!" he said. "We need your help- Harry's really upset! He's crying! We need a girl up there!"

I didn't even bother to put the book down properly so the spine wouldn't be damaged. I just threw it down and raced for the boy's dorms.

Most of Harry's dorm-mates were sort of standing in the doorway, looking horrified and frightened in the way boys do when they don't know what the hell to do in a situation. Seamus, however, was sitting on Harry's rumpled bed, patting Harry's back. Harry was lying on his stomach with his head in the pillows and was sobbing his little heart out.

"Harry!" I gasped, coming into the room. "What's- what's wrong?!"

"He was looking really down the whole day," Dean whispered to me. "And then we came back up here, Ron asked him what was wrong, and he just- he just started crying..."

I turned to glare at Ron.

"Well, I didn't know he was going to start to- you know!" said Ron, turning a bit red. Then he called over to Harry in a rather wavering voice, "hey, Harry- y'all right, mate?"

BOYS. Honestly.

I went over to Harry and sat gingerly on the corner of the bed. "Harry," I whispered, "do you want to talk about it?"

Harry was quiet for a minute, hiccoughed slightly and then said in a muffled tone, "make them all go away, first."

Dean, Neville and Ron, although worried, looked incredibly grateful that they had been relieved of comforting duty. They filed down the staircase, shutting the door behind them.

Seamus, however, wouldn't budge. We started giving each other Death Glares.

"It's alright, 'Mione," said Harry after a minute, sitting up on the bed and taking a deep breath. "He can stay if he likes."

"Harry," I said again. "Please tell me- us- what is it? Is it your scar again?"

Harry sniffed. "Nothing like that- it's just- that, well... I've been seeing someone. For a few weeks."

"What?" I said. "You've certainly kept that quiet!"

"Yeah. But- anyway, last night we- you know..." here Harry turned an absolutely brilliant shade of pink.

"Yeah?" Seamus prompted, looking incredibly interested. I sent him another Death Glare.

"And- and- god, this is so embarrassing- when I woke up, he'd gone. He'd just left! And I really thought he liked me! But now I know that he'd just been trying to seduce me the entire time! I feel- so stupid. I just wanted it- to be special. And now I just feel used."

Both Seamus and I were no longer sending Death Glares at each other, but instead at this anonymous boy who had even dared to mess about with our Harry.

"Bastard," we hissed at exactly the same moment.

Harry was looking at us worriedly. Well, it did look as if we were both about to go off on a killing spree.

"Sorry," he whispered. "You must think I'm a complete idiot..."

"Of course not, Harry!" I said forcefully, while Seamus nodded in agreement. "It's not your fault."

"And Harry," added Seamus, "at least- at least you're not a virgin anymore!"

I was just about to kill Seamus for his utterly unhinged and insensitive comment. But Harry suddenly looked incredibly surprised, stared at Seamus for a moment, and then let out a startled laugh.

"I suppose that's true," he said. "Thanks, Seamus..." then the laugh dissolved back into a sob. But he did look slightly better.

My goodness. Seamus had actually helped.

But there was only one course of action I could even consider. Find this mystery son of a bitch and kill him. KILL him!!!


Harry won't look at me. He won't speak to me. He won't- he won't do anything.

It's been several weeks since he broke up with me. Harry's looking pale and all the Slytherins are slightly relieved as I've gone back to acting my usual and frightening self.

I can't believe I thought he'd understand. I can't believe I left without leaving anything. I've realised now that I knew he wouldn't understand. I did it on purpose, however unconsciously. Because I knew how hard it would be. Because I am, deep-down, a coward. No matter how much of a front I put up.

It's the Magical Art and Painting show tomorrow. Everyone's put up their work on display. I went past the classroom, pretending I wasn't interested, just so I could have a glance of Harry. Harry, who's looking happy and smiling in the pictures, and not looking at me in that cold, angry and hurt way he has done every time I've seen him for the last several weeks.

Goyle, who is also taking the class, told me that everyone was extraordinarily jealous that Thomas managed to bag Harry Potter for his model. Apparently just about everyone in the class wanted to paint him, (who wouldn't?) but Thomas got in there first.

I'm glad, in a way. Because I must admit- though if you tell anyone else this I'll deny it all before hanging you for all eternity by your toes- for a mudblood, Thomas paints very well. Alright- he's the best artist in the whole bloody class. There's Harry everywhere on his display- his face, just an eye, profile; all of him. The largest one is of Harry bare-chested, looking slightly embarrassed. I wonder how long it took Thomas to persuade Harry to sit for that picture.

I only went to have a brief look, honestly. Just because I wasn't going to go the show tomorrow, because then I would be in close proximity to Harry, and it's bad enough as it is, quite frankly- and I wouldn't be able to see it otherwise... it was only going to be a little glance.

But then I looked at them, and Harry looked- so lovely... and I thought, nobody's here, nobody will notice if I take a few of the sketches... it won't matter.

Just as I had snuck three of them into my bag, there was a voice behind me.

"What are you doing, Malfoy?"

Fuck! Fucking Granger!


Harry wouldn't tell me who is his ex-secret-boyfriend was.

And I had to know, because of course I had to kill him.

I don't know why Harry was so secretive about it. I mean, it couldn't be that bad, could it? All I knew was that this boy wasn't in our House, and was most probably in our year or above. Oh, and he was a complete and utter bastard. But that goes without saying.

I think Seamus knows. I think he knew all along and never said a thing about it. Harry told him ages ago that he was seeing someone, so Seamus has had weeks longer than I have had to suss out who mystery lover boy was. But Seamus is just not telling.

At first I started sending Death Glares at any boy who looked at Harry, hoping to catch one of them looking guilty, or smug, or- something. But the unfortunate truth of the matter is, about a hundred boys look at Harry every day, and my Death Glare was losing some of its power because it had to be applied so many times. And several people were becoming quite afraid of me.

So, I abandoned that plan and waited for another clue to present itself. And now it has.

I had left my DADA book in the library. I was just going to get it when, on impulse, I decided to visit the Arts classroom on the way there to have a sneaky peek at all the displays before it was completely crowded when it officially opened.

And who should I find in there when I arrive? Draco bloody Malfoy. Standing in front of Dean's display. Looking... wistful. And it all clicked.

This was Harry's secret boyfriend! Draco Malfoy!! No wonder Harry was so embarrassed!! And hadn't Malfoy stopped really taunting us months ago?? And these last few weeks- when I thought about it, Harry had gone out of his way to avoid Malfoy wherever possible. It all made sense! Except, of course, for the whole thing of it being Draco Malfoy. I mean, I could certainly see where Harry was coming from from an aesthetic point of view. But- in case you didn't get it, it was MALFOY!!

He must have used a spell.

The... utter BASTARD!!


I'll let you in on a little secret. Granger packs an incredibly mean punch. Oh, she may look all sweetness and light on the outside, but don't let that deceive you. She actually punched me three years ago! She's vicious! She floored me! She properly bruised me! And the first time she did it wasn't even for a very good reason! It was over some stupid bird-thing. An ugly bird. But Harry's very pretty. And human. And happens to be her best friend. Which is why I'm slightly concerned with the fact that she's looking like she's about to explode. And it also explains why I'm backing as far away from her as is humanly possible.

Her eyes are narrowing. Oh dear.

"I'm going to kill you, Malfoy!" I think she actually means it.

"Granger!" I shout, and my voice suddenly comes out at a very high pitch indeed. I swing my bag at her to try and fend her off. It's not working.



"How could you do that to Harry? Just leave him there??"

Another WACK!

"Ack!! Goddam, Granger!"


"Jesus, Granger! Are you trying to kill me??"

"YES!" she shrieked, taking yet another swing at me. Well, that made me feel a whole lot better.

Since I was using my bag as a weapon, Granger, always good on tactics, tries to get rid of it. She stopped hitting me for a minute (and for this I was eternally grateful) and grabbed my bag. I, obviously, not wanting to lose my only guard against a psychotic mad-woman, held onto the strap. We grappled with it for several seconds until it was tipped over and all of its contents spilled onto the floor. Including the sketches I had borrowed- well, alright, stolen from Thomas's display.


I made a dive for them, but Granger was too quick for me. She aimed a hard kick at my ankle and snatched them from my hands. I'm telling you, if this is what the so-called prissy Light Side's offering, I have absolutely no plans to join the Death Eaters now. Even if they do have the cooler uniforms.

Granger's staring at the sketches.

"You came in here just to steal these..." she mutters.

Then suddenly her eyes open wide and she jerks her head up to meet my eyes.

"Oh my god," she says, and you could just about see the little wheels in her brain turning. "You're completely and utterly in love with Harry, aren't you. That's why you followed us on Harry's date with Seamus. That's why you've been walking around in an incredibly strange way a couple of weeks ago, with that frightening look on your face. You were happy. And I'll bet you chucked it all away because you have some sort of commitment phobia, or some weird hang-ups about sex."

Fucking Granger! Must she always be right?? I really can't think of an answer, so instead I just look down at my carefully polished shoes.

"Malfoy, you sad little bastard," she continues, shaking her head.

"I don't need your pity," I sneer.

"You don't have my pity," she snapped back. "You're an evil little ferret who needs to be put out of its misery, if you ask me."


"I bet you have a little shrine to him," she went on. "And these pictures were going to be the finishing touch. I'll bet it's got candles and everything."

That really isn't such a bad idea. Pity bloody Granger had to come up with it, though. Now I can't implement it.

And she's left marks. All over me! I bet she's quite frisky in the bedroom. I wonder if Weasley quite knows what he's let himself in for. I come to the conclusion that I don't particularly care. In case you don't quite realise, I'm in bloody PAIN!!

"Now you'll never get near him again," Granger went on. "Now he's got a new boyfriend. Someone who can actually be nice to him."


It's got to be...

Seamus fucking Finnigan.