Seamus is Seamus and You are Yourself

SEAMUS IS SEAMUS AND YOU ARE YOUSELF 15:

I woke Harry up the next morning with a beautifully-prepared breakfast that I had made myself. In a crystal vase on the tray there was a single rose, still fresh with the morning dew. The red of its petals and the green of its stem represented the perfect merging of our two houses.

Harry opened his eyes- so green, so perfectly, emerald-green!- and when he saw me, his lips curled up into a beautiful grin. He looked like a debauched angel.

"Good morning, my darling," I said, setting down the tray and moving in for a languorous kiss, which Harry readily accepted. After I pulled away, Harry's eyes drifted towards the tray.

"Oh, Draco!" he said, eyes filling with tears. "You- you brought me breakfast in bed! Nobody's ever been this kind to me before!"

"Well, they should have been," I said, gazing into his forest-green eyes. "You're perfect, body and soul... you deserve nothing but the best, and I intend to give it to you!"

"Draco, I have something to tell you..."

"Yes, dear one?"

"Draco, I- I love you..."

I gasped, and my eyes filled with tears too. "Harry- do you mean it? Because- because I'm desperately, hopelessly in love with you. I wish to be with you forever. You are ingrained on my very soul!"

"Oh, Draco- I shall never part from you! Let us make a true-love pact, and let our souls be entwined as one!"

"There is nothing I would want more on earth, my love."

"But Draco..." here Harry looked slightly worried, but still as gorgeous as ever, "what about your cruel and wicked father?"

"I shall never go over to the Dark Side! I will go against everything- nay, my very nature, and completely change my entire personality just for you, dear one! I will apologise to Hermione and Ronald for my terrible behaviour over the past six years, and just pray that they will be able to forgive me!"

Harry gasped rapturously and fell into my arms, just as several dozen little fluffy bunny rabbits came inexplicably to our bedside, noses twitching in an incredibly sweet way...

YAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

I sat up in bed, my heart thub-thumping at about a hundred times a second. Dear Lord, what a horrible, terrible nightmare! Flowers! Love pacts! Debauched angels! Little fluffy bunny rabbits!! Christ, where had such an awful fucking dream come from?! It sounded like the worst trashy romance novel I had ever heard of!

I gave an involuntary shudder before freezing again, realising that there really was something terribly, terribly wrong.

There was somebody in my bed. Snuggling me.

I slowly turned my head to the left, and was greeted by the sight of Harry Potter.

Harry Potter. Really in my bed. Naked, in my bed. Naked in my bed with his hair all mussed up and snuffling quietly into one of my specially-made pillows. And then it all came flooding back.

Harry! Turning up in my room! The mantra! The kissing! The... the other stuff that followed!!!

I felt all squadgy and happy yet again, and this didn't even change when I noticed that Harry was dribbling on my pillow. My specially-made pillow, remember.

He just looked so sweet!

Then another problem struck me.

What was I supposed to do?

I had never woken up with somebody before. Every single one of my previous experiences had been slightly rushed in deserted classrooms, or with people I certainly didn't want to snuggle up to (not that I wanted to snuggle up to Harry, or anything... ahem) but this was Harry. It had been his first time! What was the proper etiquette for this type of situation? Would I be expected to act all disgustingly soppy when he woke up, and... and admit my feelings?! I simply could not do that.

It was then I realised that we were in the Slytherin dorms. It was about 11pm, the door was locked, and my fellow dorm-mates knew better than to mess with one of my spells, but still. Anybody could just walk in!

What had I been thinking?!

The fact of the matter was that I hadn't been. I'd been so caught up in the sappiness of Harry coming to seem me and then the whole lauching-himself-at-me thing that I had left half my brain somewhere along the way. It was scary.

And how could Harry still look so sweet when he was still dribbling on my special pillow?!

Very, very quietly, I slid out of Harry's loose embrace, and felt around for my clothes. I put them on and stood up, looking down at Harry.

I couldn't stay there, even if it was my room. When Harry woke up... he would ask for assurances, I just knew he would... and what was I supposed to bloody say? That I'd never felt this way about anyone before in my life? Malfoys just don't admit to things like that, you know, even if they're true...

He'd- he'd understand why I didn't stay. Why I couldn't.

I slipped out of the room, quietly locking it behind me.

The next time I saw Harry, my stomach dropped to my shoes, and not in a good way.

It was the following day, at about eleven, as it happened. I hadn't returned to the dorms until about five in the morning, just to make sure that Harry wasn't still there- and to my enormous relief, he hadn't been. I had missed breakfast as well, because- I'm a Slytherin. I don't bode well with confrontation when I don't have anything to say in my defence.

But Harry had managed to corner me at last. He looked absolutely livid. His eyes were blazing and sparking furiously.

"Harry," I said uneasily. "Er- how are you today?"

"I can't believe that you just left me there," Harry said in a fierce angry whisper, coming very close to me and grabbing the front of my robes with one hand. "I woke up and you were just- just gone. And you knew I'd never done... I had to sneak out of there all by myself, it was just lucky I had my cloak with me! How could you do that? How could you?"

I couldn't think of a thing to say. Probably because I didn't have a leg to stand on. If it was anybody else but Harry... I could have made up something, put a spin on things. But- it was Harry.

"I can't believe you'd be so cruel," Harry continued, choked-up emotion in his voice. "I thought you were different. I though you actually cared about me! When all the time you were just like the others- you were just after one thing. Tell me I'm wrong- go on!"

I stared at Harry in slack-jawed shock. What could I say? It was either tell him the truth- and lose any power I had left, any control I had over the situation- or lose him completely.

"Er-" I began. My mouth wouldn't work.

"I thought so," said Harry, stepping away from me. His eyes looked very wet. "You bloody bastard. Just... just leave me alone."

He turned on his heel, and then he was gone.

It- it wouldn't have worked out, anyway. Harry Potter, Golden Boy, with a Sarcastic Future Death Eater? We're ... just too different. It's- it's really better this way.

I don't need him. He made me do stupid things, anyway. He made me lose control. It was wrong to feel like that.

Even if it made me happy.

***