Seamus is Seamus and You are Yourself

SEAMUS IS SEAMUS AND YOU ARE YOURSELF 13:

DRACO.

I've discovered twice as many plots planning to seduce Harry/ get him absolutely naked since I've been going out with him. Perhaps it's because I spend so much more time with him than I did before. Or maybe that now I've got him, I'm making doubly sure that nobody else nabs him off of me.

Whatever the reason, it doesn't really matter. Because Harry doesn't notice it. He just doesn't see it! It's completely and utterly the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my entire life. The other day he had ten girls following him down the corridor and he asked them if they'd gotten lost.

Honestly.

So, of course, I've taken up the role of his Chief Protector. Well, one of them, at least. Loath though I am to admit it, Granger unknowingly shares in this title with me. It's not in a Malfoy to actually share a Position (or anything at all, for that matter) with someone else, but after mulling it over I've decided that I won't kill her. At least not yet.

I uncovered another Plot this morning. I'd noticed all these Third and Fourth-Year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws sneaking around with furtive looks on their faces, and trying (unsuccessfully) to hide lumpy packages behind their backs.

It definitely warranted further investigation.

I followed one of the silly little chits. A Hufflepuff, of course. Just who else would not even know the meaning of the word stealthy?

And she led me directly to the Quidditch locker rooms.

Listening in the doorway, I heard various immature little 14-year-olds saying breathlessly:

"No! Not that big! He's sure to notice it then!"

"Here, put a concealing charm on it... where's Vi? I'm sure she'd now how..."

"She's sorting out all the chairs and benches, remember?"

"Have you duplicated more of the tickets yet?"

My god! Just what were these... harpies planning to do to MY Harry?! I decided it was time to make my presence known. I stepped smoothly into sight with all the dramatic presence (and posture) a Malfoy must always have when entering any room. They all froze, and a few shrieked with alarm.

"Just what exactly do you think you are doing?" I said in icy tones.

They all stared at me, horror-struck. Then one of them accidentally let go of a piece of parchment she was holding and it skimmed across the floor.

I looked down, and read:

"See the Boy-Who-Lived in ALL his Glory! 1 Galleon!"

People only had to pay ONE Galleon? Did they think my Harry was only worth ONE GALLEON?!

I looked around, and, despite being completely pissed off, I was rather impressed.

The girls had actually made an entire wall of the changing room completely invisible. They could see out, but nobody could see in. AND they had chosen the wall directly across from the showers.

Unfortunately, my right to kill them on the spot was no longer valid. Can you imagine, Prefects aren't even allowed to cripple misbehaving students anymore? Not even slightly?! No. It was banned in 1664.

Father said that was when Hogwarts started going completely to the dogs.

I quite agree. All I could give them was a month's detention each! And these supposed 'punishments' usually contained cleaning! I mean, what happened to using them as target practise? Or as testers for experimental charms? Or the shackles, at least...?

But I digress. I simply gave them detention with Professor Snape (heh heh heh) and just about managed to stop myself going on a killing spree when I remembered that Harry probably wouldn't like that at all.

Well, of course after all their hard work, I couldn't just let it all go to waste. And Harry has Quidditch practice in ten minutes.

And I had a front-row seat...

HARRY.

Seamus came to discuss our 'situation' with me today.

I must admit that I've sort of been avoiding him since the Hogsmeade trip. Well, alright. If I have to be honest, every time I see him I sort of jump up in the air, give off a little "yip" noise and run off in the opposite direction.

Well, he did try to grope me. Publicly, I might add!!

The strange thing is, Seamus just isn't acting like... well, like Seamus at all. It's really starting to freak me out now. He doesn't try to feel me up. He doesn't make loud and public comments about how I look every day.

And, the strangest thing is: he doesn't flirt with anyone else either.

I know!! It's completely unheard of! Seamus's flirting is... it's simply a school institution. He always flirts. He always has done. And until recently, it's been quite certain that he always will.

He flirts with the Seventh Years, who roll their eyes at him but are secretly rather amused. He flirts with the First Years, making them all blush madly, not sure what to do with themselves. He flirts with the Staff. He even flirts with Snape, even though he's received hundreds of detentions over it. It's just the way he is.

But this week, he hasn't done any of the above. Instead he's been really, really quiet and watched me continuously. It's starting to scare everyone.

And it's really starting to scare me. I can't help but wonder what outlet he's going to use to get rid of all his sexual tension.

So when he came softly up to me (he didn't even bounce! Seamus always bounces!) I really didn't know what to expect.

"Harry," he said, leaning over the back of the chair and whispering in my ear, "could I have a bit of a word with you?"

Of course, I jumped ten feet into the air and nearly smashed the top of my head into his face. At least I didn't squeak, however.

"Er... what about?" I managed to get out.

He looked me up and down pointedly, before smirking in that bright way of his, "you, of course!"

Uh-oh.

We sat down in a secluded corner of the Common Room. I was slightly assured by this- at least I wasn't completely alone with him. Because you never know about Seamus.

But when I looked at him, I saw that (for once) he seemed to have no plans for attacking me. In actual fact, he looked rather nervous.

Seamus? Nervous?

Nah!

"So, Harry," said Seamus in a voice that definitely was not its usual perky self, "have you given any more thought to what happened on the Hogsmeade weekend?"

"Do you mean... the groping?" I asked after a minute, confused.

"Er, no, Harry. I'm talking about the actual date itself," Seamus said, looking slightly disconcerted.

"Oh. Oh!" I flushed bright red. How embarrassing! Of course it would be about the date! Even Seamus wouldn't just sit me down to talk about the groping. I'm such an idiot!

"Erm..." I said eloquently.

"If you hadn't had time to think about it..." Seamus continued.

I just came out with it. "The thing is, Seamus... I'msortofseeingsomeoneelse," I said in a rush.

Seamus didn't say anything.

"I'm really sorry!" I continued hurriedly. "I should have told you! I've been an idiot, I shouldn't have messed you about, I should have-"

"Harry. HARRY!" he interrupted me, "don't worry yourself about it. It wasn't like we were going out properly or anything like that. It's alright. So, who are you seeing?"

"It's sort of a secret," I muttered.

"Aye, alright Harry, I won't pry," said Seamus, edging ever closer. "But just keep in mind, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on... or just a bit of fun, remember you wouldn't be using me, I'd rather like getting used by you, actually, so if ever you feel the need to..."

"SEAMUS! Get your hand off my leg!!"

It seems as if Seamus hasn't changed quite as much as I thought he had. In fact, he hasn't changed at all. Well, he is Seamus.

DRACO.

Harry had his first session with that bastard Thomas today.

I don't care what Harry tells me. This isn't about the damn art! That Thomas... despite the fact that I've never talked to him, I just know he's a bloody pervert!

And if he thinks that he's going to get his hands (they're probably all dirty too- covered in all that disgusting oily paint; how common) on Harry then he's got another thing coming...

HARRY.

I had my first session with Dean today.

I was really nervous. I mean, obviously I'm not a professional model or anything, so I was sure I was going to mess it all up. Plus I was really worried that I might have to strip. Even though Dean had basically seen everything anyway, being in the same dormitory as me. But now, he would actually be really looking at me.

Gagh!

In fact, it wasn't that bad at all. Actually, it was quite fun. Dean knew that I was obviously a bit nervous. He told me all these funny stories about his art class, and about how pissed-off and jealous everyone else was that he was drawing me. Obviously these little anecdotes weren't true, but they put me at ease.

I was also quite happy that he only wanted to draw my head and face- albeit in about a hundred different poses- and after two-and-a-half hours, he said we were through.

The most interesting part of the evening was when I left the classroom, however...

DRACO.

I was just stealthily hiding in a darkened corner when Harry came out of the classroom. Immediately he got a lovely, rather puzzled expression on his face. Then he came right up to me.

"Draco- what are you doing?" he asked me.

Gack! I thought that Harry was clueless about this sort of thing! How did he penetrate through my brilliant hiding technique? It's not fair!

"Erm," I said. There didn't really seem very much else to say, quite frankly.

"Were you spying on me?" Harry asked.

Now, there were two ways I could go with this. I could either own up and admit it, and therefore also admit I was jealous, or I could take on a mantle of aloof indifference. So of course, I chose option number 2. Well, I am a Malfoy, after all.

"Of course not, Potter," I said. "I was just out walking, and I can't help it if my walk just happened by coincidence you understand- to end up, well... here."

Harry was getting a twinkle in his eye.

"And before you jump to any conclusions," I continued hurriedly, "I don't care at all that you were alone for nearly three hours with another boy, probably naked, whilst..."

Harry burst out laughing. "God- your eye is twitching again! Is there something wrong with it? I think you should go to Madame Pomfrey. And to ease your mind Draco- no, I wasn't naked, and NO, just like I said, Dean didn't try anything on at all. He was drawing me for his ART PROJECT. Feel better now?"

Hmph. Stupid Potter.

But he laughed! And I was near him when he did it! Sigh.

I suppose I could just about forgive the fact that he was actually laughing at me. Just this once.

It doesn't mean that I'm going soft, or anything like that.

Dear God. That thought will haunt me at nights. Well, that and a certain other person, of course.

Sigh!

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