Seamus is Seamus and You are Yourself

SEAMUS IS SEAMUS AND YOU ARE YOURSELF 4:

RON.

Right. I see where everyone's coming from on the subject of Harry. Yes, he's very good-looking. But the entire world has gone completely overboard on the entire thing! They just won' t leave Harry alone. I used to be jealous of Harry. Now I am only thankful that I'm NOT him. It's ten times worse now than it was during the Triwizard Tournament.

I'm only happy that Hermione doesn't find him completely irresistible. After about a hundred fights and two slaps throughout the Fifth Year she finally convinced me that she only saw Harry as a friend. I admit I was slightly worried- alright, very worried when he turned up at the beginning of Sixth Year and 'Mione started squeaking over him. But to my utter relief, after she got used to him she went back to treating him like her surrogate brother.

But the rest of the school aren't like this at all. I think, out of all of them, the bloody Giggle Gang as they've come to be known as are by far the worst. You know who I'm talking about- Lavender, the Patil twins, and all their little friends. They've already been in our dormitory to try and steal Harry's underwear. Luckily Dean and Neville managed to foil their little plan, and we convinced Harry to put a complicated locking charm on his trunk.

But they went completely too far in their next little scheme.

The Gryffindor team had had Quidditch practice, and 45 minutes after it had ended Harry was the only one who hadn't turned up for dinner. I was just about to ask someone about it when there was a noise by the doors to the hall, one opened slightly and Harry put his face around the crack. All the Gryffindors started staring at him. He looked very flushed.

"Ron," he hissed, "RON! Please come here! NOW!"

>From behind me at the Gryffindor table I could hear the distinct sound of several girls giggling like mad.

Well, how was I to know it was an emergency? I was right in the middle of my chocolate pudding!

"Harry," I said back, "can't you just come in to the hall?"

"NO!" he yelled, looking extremely angry. "Believe me when I say that I truly can't..."

By this time the Staff table had noticed the little disturbance and McGonagall was stalking down from her seat, looking quite pissed off.

"Potter!" she said when she got closer. "What ever are you doing? Come in here at once!"

Harry's eyes opened wide and he blushed even more. "I can't!" he squeaked.

McGonagall sighed exasperatedly and went towards the door. At this, Harry let out a gasp and slammed the door in her face. The entire school was watching with great interest by now. McGonagall tried to open it again, but Harry was obviously holding the other side so nobody could move it.

"HARRY POTTER!" McGonagall shrieked. "What ever is going on?!"

"Please, Professor, just send Ron out here!" continued Harry in an extremely panicked voice from behind the door. "Or at least tell me the Gryffindor password!"

"Not until you explain what is going on!"

"I can't!"

McGonagall rolled her eyes, took out her wand, muttered something and the door swung open.

The entire school gasped.

There Harry was, completely naked, with nothing to cover up his more... ahem, private bits than a helmet from a suit of armour.

McGonagall was almost speechless.

"Potter... what in Merlin's name..."

"It's not my fault, Professor!" Harry exclaimed. I wondered if it was possible for him to get any redder. "I was just taking a shower after Quidditch and when I came out someone had taken all my clothes AND all the towels! I didn't have my wand with me either! I had to run up to school with nothing on at ALL! And the Gryffindor password's been changed- I couldn't get IN!"

The girls behind me started giggling even more hysterically, and were joined by several others from various Houses. Seamus started singing the striptease song.

"Um. Professor?" asked Harry timidly, "would you mind? I'm a bit cold."

"Oh!" said McGonagall, going rather pink, "of course, Potter."

She muttered something and immediately Harry was covered in a black robe. There were several disappointed "awws!" from across the room.

"You'd better have dinner, Potter," continued McGonagall, looking very strict.

"Um," said Harry. "I think I'd rather go back to Gryffindor." You could tell that he was more embarrassed than he ever had been in his life before.

"Sit, Potter! Afterwards we'll go over this... disgusting joke in more detail, and punish those responsible."

"Um," said Harry again. He was now talking to his feet. "I'd rather forget that this nightmare ever happened, to be perfectly honest."

"Nonsense, Potter. Now go and sit down."

Harry sat down quietly next to me, completely avoiding everyone's eyes. I wondered if his face would ever turn to its normal colour.

"And Finnegan, stop singing that ridiculous song!" snapped McGonagall before walking back up to the Staff Table, where Dumbledore sat, looking like he was about to burst out laughing.

I mean, that was going completely too far. I know all those girls might want to see Harry with no clothes on, but didn't they care they had just embarrassed him in front of the entire school?

Harry was mortified for about a month afterwards. Especially since Seamus kept singing his little song whenever he saw Harry. But, as I tried to tell him in a subtle best-friend-like way, he didn't need to be embarrassed. There was nothing to be embarrassed about. No-one was laughing at him; not really. Instead, they had just been bloody staring at him and wishing that he would get rid of the helmet.

But Harry being Harry, just doesn't believe this at all.