Cry

Cry
I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended too soon

They tell me I’m dying. I guess I believe them. But if this is dying, then I pity the poor, wretched souls who have gone to the afterlife before me.

I’m swimming in and out of consciousness. The pain is unbearable, but lately I’ve become numb, as though I can’t feel anything. I guess death is in its final stages. But I won’t let it win. Not yet. Not until I see him.

You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed

I don’t even know if he’ll come. He’ll have heard about the attack by now, but that is all I am certain of. I’m not even sure if I want to see him.

Part of me wishes he were here with me, right now. But another part says that he’s hurt me too much, that I should just let go. No use in suffering like this over a man, Ginny. No use in it at all.

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

I don’t know if he ever loved me. At least, that’s what I have been telling myself. But that’s just as much a lie as telling myself I never loved him.

I’ve been pushing everyone away since the attack. My brother came to see me this afternoon, but I pretended to be asleep. I didn’t want to face him. He knew what I had done.

No....there had been a rift between Ron and me even before the attack. It makes me wonder if he knew.....knew what I had spent the past year trying to hide....

The moment that I saw you cry

Have you ever cried for me, my love? One would hope so.

It was late in September
And I've seen you before
You were always the cold one
But I was never that sure

Would you die for me? Die for me like I’m dying for you? Because this is your fault. No, wait, forgive me, the fault is with me. I should have had better sense than to did what I did. There is no use in blaming you when it is my own wicked fault.

The attack was my fault. All my fault. I betrayed them. I didn’t mean to, but I did. I did because he saw me with you. You knew full well what would happen if he saw me with you.

You were always so cold. So distant. Was it because of him? Was he the reason you would never, could never love me the way I needed to be loved? Or was it something deeper?

You were all by yourself
Staring at a dark gray sky
I was changed

You were always a loner. I should have seen that for myself. But I tried to force myself into your life, I tried to bring you love and happiness..

And now, look at me. All I have brought you is misery and guilt.

I think I shall rest for a while.....

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

“Ginny?”

I open my eyes, and he’s standing before me. He wears a look of lost bewilderment on his face, and my heart goes out to him. I want to hold him, but I can’t. I shall never hold him again.

I wanted to hold you
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything, all right....

But I see something more in his eyes. Guilt.

And he should be guilty. After what he has done to me...

He takes my hand. I try to give his a reassuring squeeze, but I have not enough strength even for this. It is all I can do to keep my eyes open. To keep myself alive....

He sees this, and his eyes fill with tears of pain and sadness. Then he speaks.

“Ginny.... I’m sorry,” his voice breaks with emotion, “I am so, so sorry. This is all my fault....I should have never done that....if there was something I could do to make it all better...”

He’s stumbling over his words, choking on every syllable. His tone is heartbreaking as he apologizes, as he begs for redemption.

I realize I don’t want to hear this. I don’t want him to beg me for something I cannot give....

“Can you forgive me, Ginny?” he asks.

I shake my head and he looks crushed, broken. “Only God can do that,” I tell him.

I feel myself growing weaker with every second, and I know my time is limited.

I'll always remember...
It was late afternoon...
In places no one would find...

He looks as though he is about to say something. But it can wait. There is something he needs to know, first.

I sum up all my strength to reach out with my hand and touch him on the cheek. He puts his hand up to mind and holds it there, and I feel the warmth from him. Funny, I never thought he had warmth. How little I knew.

How little I will ever know.

It is becoming difficult to breathe, and there is an ache in my chest. I feel dizzy, and I know my time has come.

“I have to go now,” I say softly. Terror flashes across his eyes.

“No...Ginny, you can’t.....don’t leave me here....I need you Ginny....” his tone is heart wrenching.

“I have too.” It’s not until then I notice that my face is wet with tears.

The tears begin to fall from his eyes. He lets go of my hand, and leans forward.

Our lips touch, and warmth flows into my body. It gives me the strength to take a few more breaths, to say something I have been meaning to say ever since the day we shared our first kiss....

He sits back up, and brushes a lock of red hair back away from my face. He strokes my cheek with a tenderness I never thought possible from him.

My breathing has become ragged. I force myself to stay alive a few more seconds...

Breathe Ginny.

I look up at him, and he knows. He lets our a soft moan that only I can hear.

It’s now or never. Tell him, Ginny, tell him.

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

“I love you.”
***
Draco Malfoy leaned forward again to kiss her, and when he drew back her eyes were closed. He knew they would never open again.

“I love you now and forever, Ginny Weasley,” he whispered.

Then he cried.

The moment I saw you cry