Damaged Goods

Damaged Goods

Part 10

I couldn't sleep that night. I wasn't upset over my punishment; I no longer cared about trivial things like that. Ron and Harry were enraged over it though, and I let them be mad for me. I had other things to deal with.

I could see him every time I closed my eyes that night. Lucius. I had been so terrified when I saw him today. Those cold blue eyes undressing me, promising hidden pain and pleasure. Shuddering, I hated myself for those thoughts, the tightening of my loins as I watched him, feeling the power he had over me. I had vowed then, in Dumbledore's office, that I would take my life before I ever allowed him to touch me again, but stopped, as a shameful thought flooded my mind. How come I felt I would die if he didn't touch me?

****

Knocking on the classroom door, Hermione was glad to have something to preoccupy herself with today, rubbing her temples at the pain of the headache she had. The lack of sleep had left smudges under her eyes. Her legs still trembled slightly from the intense urges her betraying body had kept flooding with as she tried to push thoughts of Lucius away last night. Slut, whore, filth; she had berated herself over and over until she had cried, feeling as if she would die. If only someone cared, cared enough to touch her in whatever way, be it kind or cruel, just a touch to make her feel wanted.

Entering the cool classroom she saw Professor Snape sitting at his desk that was piled high with rolled up parchments. She went to stand before him awaiting instructions.

"Ah, Miss Granger," he said dryly, not looking up from the paper he was working on. "You will be grading these," he said waving his hand towards the enormous pile sitting on the left side of his desk. "First through fourth years assignments. I expect excellence, as you should be aware of by now. Be thorough and if I should find you have been lenient on grading I will deduct the points personally from you," he finished, never looking up from his task.

Picking up a large armful of the scrolls, an inkbottle and quill, Hermione moved to a table and settled down to begin her task. Only the scratch of the quills broke the silence of the room.

Severus finished grading the seventh year's assignments before he even glanced Hermione's way. She was bent over her task, her hair, the thick unruly curls, fell around her, hiding her face. She reached up to rub at her temples ever so often and through the waterfall of gold brown, he noticed the look of pain on her face, one he knew well, from the blinding headaches he seemed to be having with alarming frequency this term. Still feeling the pain from his own early this morning, he felt angry with her.

"Pull your hair away from your face girl. No wonder you have headaches," he said more harshly than he had meant to. He watched her obey, as she wound the thick, curly mess up and tried to bunch it up. She held it back with one hand, as she continued reading, making awkward marks on the parchments.

Hermione was surprised to feel a hand pull hers away from her hair. She sat very still as she felt fingers running through her hair, pulling and dividing. She felt her hair gathered with quick movements, close to her scalp, as Professor Snape fixed her hair into a tight, French braid. Finishing, he tied a piece of twine at the end. Gathering up the courage, she looked up at him. His eyes flashed at her in warning, and he smiled wryly. "You learn useless skills when you are head of house. Now continue."

Hermione tried to hide her grin, feeling the tension easing from her. She could almost envision the looks on Harry's and Ron's faces if she told them that Snape knew how to braid a girl's hair. Imaging him fixing the Slytherin girls' hair almost caused her to laugh.

The afternoon passed in silence and Hermione was relieved when Professor Snape told her it was time for her to go to dinner.

****

Sitting in Dumbledore's office, Severus watched the old man reading over the 'list'. He hated the sorrowful look on Albus' face; his blood seethed at the pain he was causing the older man.

"I do believe you have all the names Severus," Albus said soberly.

"Perhaps I could delay..."

"No, that would do little good Severus and would only bring retribution on yourself."

Severus nodded. Fifty-six names, 'mudlbloods', in a school of over a thousand students, seemed minute, but when those fifty-six families were soon to be targeted for elimination the number seemed overwhelming.

"There is little we can do now," Albus told him, "not until the attacks begin."

Severus didn't comment.

Albus watched the younger man brooding, the dark look upon his face.

"You need a diversion, something to occupy your time." Severus looked up at headmaster suspiciously, noting the sparkle in the man's eyes

"Oh yes Albus, something to occupy my time. Let's see, after classes, grading assignments, patrolling the grounds, working for the Order, attending Death Eater meetings, being at Voldemort's beck and call, making potions for Poppy and of course being a baby sitter for one pain in the arse Gryffindor, I do believe I have too much leisure time on my hands between midnight and five am."

Albus chuckled, enjoying the scowling look Severus was giving him. "My point exactly son."

Severus sighed, and sat back his arms folded across his chest, waiting.

"I take it you are still interested in the elemental magic?"

"It is a fascinating subject however..."

"Good, then I think it is time we explored the possibilities."

"Possibilities? Merlin's beard, Albus. Don't tell me you believe I might have some inkling into that magic. Even if I did, I am a bit too old to start tutelage. Why study an obscure art that at best would be weaker than a third year's magic ability?"

"If it were a learned art, I would totally agree Severus, but if it was inborn, natural, think of the power."

Severus snorted. "If I had some innate magic of that nature, wouldn't I have seen it by now?"

"Perhaps you already have."

"You mean the incident of my losing control and blowing up your office?" Severus said sarcastically. "That was just a sign of weakness Albus, any child could lose their temper and blow up things accidentally."

"What I witness Severus, was beyond a loss of control," Albus said seriously.

Eyeing him, Severus could see the determination on the old man's face. It would be a losing battle to fight him on this.

"Alright Albus," he said defeatedly, "what is it you want me to do?'

"Nothing, but keep an open mind," Albus said brightly, "and of course allow me to conduct a few tests."

****

Sitting now behind Dumbledore's desk, Severus looked at the old man with a raised eyebrow.

"Clear your mind, concentrate only on the objects before you."

Severus bit his tongue to keep a skeptical remark to himself, and closed his eyes, quickly clearing his mind, a skill he had honed to perfection as a Death Eater.

He opened his eyes, focusing his attention on the objects on the desk. The lights had been dimmed, casting the office in semi darkness. A piece of sandstone, a feather, a grey lump of a candle, a six pointed silver star and a glass of water were laid out in a semi circle before him.

Not sure what was expected of him, Severus studied each piece carefully. The sandstone was rough hewned, red and orange stripes ran diagonally across it. The feather was white, rather small, each frond silky looking and crisp. The candle was a shapeless blob, having melted upon itself many times, melting from the fire, the star reminded him vaguely of a symbol of a religion, the glass of water looked refreshing, the flicker of the candle's fire reflecting in the water, the reflection of the fire...

The candle was now lit, its tiny flame casting shadows on the objects on the desk.

"Passion, emotion, creativity," he heard Albus intone softly. "Darkness and light, ice and fire."

Severus stared at the flame, as it turned icy blue, darkening to an inky midnight blue before flaring white.

"Pick up the candle," Dumbledore instructed, "and walk to the fireplace." Severus obeyed. "Concentrate on the fire, call to it."

Staring at the fire, Severus felt himself going into a trance like state, seeing nothing but the dancing flames, the room disappearing. The candle's flame flared up, seeming to reach out to its brothers. The flames in the fireplace twisted, writhing upon one another until a shape began to emerge; a fiery serpent, its eyes the color of molten steel.

The serpent swayed back and forth, hypnotic eyes staring at him, waiting. 'Converto'

The words flowed in his mind. The serpent bowed its head, as the body began to twist once again, increasing in volume, filling the hearth, as flames broke free of the boundary.

Large massive clawed feet were appearing from the flames that had fell upon the stone floor, dark red scales formed upon each massive toe that were larger that Severus arm. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he registered alarm but didn't know quite what to do. The serpent's face was elongating, growing large, its eyes the size of platters used in the dining hall. Slitted irises the color of midnight was beginning to stare at him.

Severus barely felt a hand on his, as he heard Albus shout, 'Converto' and an angry roar filled Severus' head as the creature that was emerging began twisting, shrinking, changing once more. No longer serpentine, the creature transformed into a familiar shape, as it grew wings, a long graceful tail, sharp intelligent eyes... a phoenix.

Pain exploded behind Severus' eyes, the blinding white light followed by pinpoints of searing red. He grasped at his head, dropping the candle, not seeing the image in the fire explode into brilliant blast of bright light.

"You always tried to do too much too fast," Albus said chuckling, leading Severus over to a chair.

"Bloody hell!" Severus moaned, his head feeling as if were splitting into. He fumbled for the vial in his robe pocket. Downing the red liquid, he leaned back against the chair, waiting for the pain to ease off. He opened his eyes to see Albus' smiling face sitting across from him. The man looked positively giddy.

"Alright," Severus said dryly, "what was that all about?"

"About power my boy, real power. Didn't you feel it?"

"What I feel is pain," he said coldly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"It's often that way at first, the pain, too much going on up there," he reached up and brushed a lock of hair away from Severus' face. "When you learn to control, it will ease up."

Severus laughed, a bitter dry sound. "Really Albus, control? I am afraid if I cannot control my magic by now..."

"The elemental magic boy," Albus said excitedly, "how can you control it if you never knew you had it?'

Severus frowned at him. "Please don't tell me."

Albus smiled at him. "It would seem that you do possess some of the traits of being an elemental mage. Aestus to be exact, though a few more tests will be needed to know the extent of your power. I am truly amazed Severus."

Leaning back in the chair, Severus eyed Dumbledore. "If this is true Albus, why did it not surface long before this? Perhaps it is only your wishful thinking."

Albus looked thoughtful. "As I pointed out to you before, the day you put Miss Granger under the Veritaserum, I had witnessed a bout of uncontrolled magic from you twice. The first time I dismissed it, you were young and I had thought you were just out of control, period. The second time, I knew there was something different, a raw magical force emanating from you. However at that time you were turning to Voldemort and I did not want to venture enlightening you to my suspicions.

Severus nodded completely understanding.

"And like you say, you are getting 'old' and when no other manifestations occurred, I assumed I had been wrong. Until I saw your display that day. Perhaps the concern you felt over what happened to Miss Granger..."

"Really Albus, I felt badly for Miss Granger and would not want a beast treated like she was, but on my list of things to be concerned or upset about, she hardly ranks."

Dumbledore sat deep in thought. "Curious. There is another possibility though I think is highly unlikely."

"Yes?"

"That you have came in contact with an Aetherius magus. The power of the Ethereal enhances each of the other, drawing fully from their powers while giving of their own. However you would have to have been in very close physical contact for the powers to be exchanged, so it highly unlikely," Albus finished smiling. "It's just your time to be aware of your powers. Ah yes, it was written in the stars," he said in a Trelawney sounding nasal voice.

Severus rolled his eyes, though he was highly interested about this new development in his life.