The Circle of Endless Confusion

The Circle of Endless Confusion

Chapter 8: A Flame Doused

"Oh my goodness! Hermione, what are you doing here? Please tell me nothing happened," Harry said in a panic.

"Of course nothing happened. We're in the middle of the common room you stupid bloke. Besides, I love my Ron; I will not make a mistake like that again."

"Oh. What are we doing in the common room?" he asked,obviously very confused.

"I'm not sure, really. Ron and I fell asleep in the Astronomy Tower and when we snuck back in we found you here. He's gone upstairs; he's not quite ready to speak with you yet. I'm afraid it might take him awhile, Harry."

"Well, I can't say I blame him. If he slept with Draco I do have to say I wouldn't be ready to speak with him the day after I found out. Hopefully it won't take too long, but knowing Ron it could last an eternity. I just hope it all turns out in the end. I don't want to be forbidden to see the little bundle of joy I helped to create, even though I've already decided that I don't want to tell the baby I'm his father. Well, at least not for a very, very long time," he said, sitting up and looking at Hermione carefully. "Is that all right with you, 'Mione?"

"Yes, I would like for Ron to at least be the practicing father to our baby. I mean, he will, at very least, be the stepfather and that's close enough," she said, smiling at him.

"Yes, of course. I could never be the father that this baby needs. Perhaps one day, if Draco and I stay together that long, we'll look into having children, but quite frankly Hermione I don't love you enough to raise a baby with you. I will always love you and Ron because you are my best friends, but you understand me, this I know. You're a very practical girl, err woman rather," he said with a look that pleaded for understanding.

"Of course, I understand. And since you mentioned it, I've come to talk to you about Draco," she said, looking at him. "Have you told him yet?"

"Err, no. I meant to last night, but I just couldn't. I love him so much, 'Mione, I just can't stand the thought of losing him. And I will, Hermione, I will lose him when I tell him. He won't understand. But hopefully, one day, later down the road, I will be able to win him back. Hopefully, he'll realize that he can't live without me and we'll be back together. But if not, I suppose I am happy to have had him at all."

"Yes, but I do hope that you do not lose him. Harry, it breaks my heart that I was involved in what will ultimately break your heart," she said as a tear slipped down her face.

"No, shh, shh, Hermione, don't cry," he said, taking her into his arms. "It's not your fault. I too, made that decision. We are in this together, you have managed to hang on to your love, if nothing else, I am glad of that. I could not stand to see both of my best friends broken hearted. But me, I am a big boy, I can take care of myself. If I lose Draco my heart will be missing a huge part forever, but I will eventually move on. Thank you for caring so much though, it makes me feel loved."

They both heard a knocking at the window and looked up. Hedwig was there, so Harry walked to the window and opened it.

"Hullo, Girl, what have you got for me?" he asked, untying the letter and petting her. "Sorry, I haven't got anything for you to eat right now, love." With this she flew off.

"What is it Harry?" she asked, standing up.

"It's a letter from Draco," he said with a smile and brought it over for her to read.

Dearest Harry,

I have sulked long enough over your spectacular win yesterday. Please meet me tonight at 9 o'clock in the Astronomy Tower, my love. I long so much to see you and count the hours until we meet.

Your dearest,

Draco

"Wow, I did not know that he was so, romantic and flowery with words," Hermione said, smiling at her friends happiness. "I hope that things do turn out all right, Harry. You love him so, I know that. Good luck. I would stay with you, but I must retire. I am tired, the Astronomy Tower is not a place that offers much rest," she said with a twinkle in her eyes.

"No, it is certainly not," he said, smiling at her knowing glance. "Rest is usually the last thing on one's mind on a visit to the Astronomy Tower."

Harry stood in front of the mirror fussing over his hair at 8:30 that evening. It was rather quiet in the dormitory. Ron had already gone off with Hermione, though he was positive that he would not have talked to him if he hadn't. Seamus and Dean were probably off snogging somewhere. They had been the most acceptant of Harry's secret, as they themselves rather enjoyed kissing blokes, more specifically each other. They had actually not told anyone they were together until after Harry had made his announcement. Up until that point everyone had thought them quite the ladies men. And Neville, ah Neville, he had become quite the ladies man. At the beginning of this year, he had come back after what must have been a miraculous summer. He had come back taller, leaner, and certainly more attractive. Harry had certainly noticed him when he came in that first day. He had even miraculously improved in his schooling. No one understood the transformation, though it had been rumored that he had become a Death Eater and gained power in that way. Harry did not believe this, not sweet Neville, but people were always known to make crazy excuses for what they could not explain. Neville was out with whatever girl he had managed to talk into snogging tonight. So, no one noticed the anxiousness with which he prepared for his outing. He was shaking nervously. He had told Hermione the truth, he loved Draco. He did not want to lose him, but he knew that he would. He wondered what little scheme Draco had cooked up for tonight, everyone knew that you only went to the Astronomy Tower for special occasions these days, otherwise it was over booked and people ended up walking in on sights they didn't want to see. There was actually an underground sign up sheet, thought up by some smart little Ravenclaw seventh year, the year before.

He finished fussing over his hair and pulled out his invisibility cloak, just in case. He made his way up the winding staircases and finally found himself in front of the door to the Astronomy Tower. He exhaled harshly and opened the door. He saw Draco lying seductively in a bed of white and red rose petals, holding a single red rose. He was dressed all in black, Muggle clothing. The sight made Harry exhale sharply.

"Hello, my love," Draco said, standing up and shutting the door behind Harry. As he pulled his arm back to himself, he pulled Harry into his arms and kissed him ever so teasingly on the lips.

"Hello, Draco," Harry whispered or shuddered, rather, at his touch.

The two boys quickly found themselves in a sea of wet kisses in the rose petals. Harry almost forgot what he had to do but eventually he remembered. Just as he was about to speak he heard his lover speak his name.

"Yes Draco?" he said, smiling at the name.

"I want to ask you something," he whispered back, pulling himself out of the tangle of the two bodies.

"Oh? What is that?" he asked, desperately wanting to kiss him again, before he lost the right to.

"It's very important, love," Draco said, sighing. "I want to ask you, if you. I want to ask you if you'll marry me."

"What?!" Harry squealed in surprise. "Is that legal? Can I marry you?"

"I don't think so, but there are these things, well, for homosexuals these sort of commitment services. It's the equivalent to marriage. And I was just thinking that it would be nice," he said, looking as though he doubted his decision.

"What about your father? He would never allow it," Harry replied.

"Screw him, Harry. He's already disowned me. I almost told him over the summer, but I couldn't. Kissing you the first day of term, that was how I told him. He wrote me a calm letter saying that my things would be put in storage and that I was never to come home again. I knew that would happen, Harry. I've given up part of who I am for you, Harry, do you understand that? Do you understand how much I love you?" Draco said, crying with the weight of the situation.

"Oh, God, Draco," Harry said, pulling his love's face into his hand and kissing his lips gently. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I couldn't bear to. I didn't want to see you sad, like you are now. I was stupid to do this, Harry. Why would you ever want to commit to me?" he said, looking away.

Harry pulled his chin back to look at him. "No, my love. You were only stupid to think you had to ask. But that is not why I am sad. I am sad because you did this all in vain. You do not want me, I have betrayed you."

"Betrayed me? How my love?" he asked, looking at him with great concern and a hint of pain.

"Hermione is going to have a child."

"That's lovely, I'm sure she and Weasley, I mean Ron, are happy. But what does that have to do with us?" Draco asked, confused.

"The child is mine," he said, looking down.

Draco stood up with indignation. "The child belongs to you? How could this be?"

"When I went to Hermione's house the night before term began, we slept together. It was a fit of drunken passion. We both regret it greatly, but it is sealed now. We can not go back and change what has happened. I know that you will never be able to love me now, I have sealed your hatred with my stupidity," he said, not daring to look up at him. He was still on his knees, kneeling at Draco's feet.

"You slept with her? I have given up all that was due to me because of my birth and you went and slept with the bloody Mudblood? You are having a child with her? Leave my sight, Potter," Draco spat at him. "I can not be in your presence now. Leave," he commanded.

"Of course, my love," Harry said, standing up and walking out the door. For a moment, he looked back and saw the tears in his lover's eyes.