Show Me Your Soul The Sequel

The sun pierced through his tattered blinds and he was forced to get up.

'Oh, for the love of God,' he moaned, before stretching his arms, and yawned loudly. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was only eleven past seven in the morning, about forty nine minutes earlier than usual.

The radiant sunlight rays persisted and became more outrageous as the seconds ticked by, almost blinding him through the green blind folds. 'Tone down a little, I'm coming!' With his wand, he whipped open the blinds and they folded up, allowing the sun to raid his bedroom, in less than a split second. Before Remus could curse the sun for being so luminous at such a time, a man appeared right before him. A well grown man with a toned body, long messy hair, and a fuzzy face.

'All right, Moony? Did you just get up? Cripes, it's almost half past seven, mate!' said Sirius, obviously shocked that somebody could still be asleep after a quarter of the day had passed; some sort of crime, apparently.

'Yes, I did just get up, in fact. And I would have carried on sleeping had that damn sun stayed put for a few more hours,' answered Remus, annoyed.

A smile was forming on either side of Sirius' mouth, and his passionate, intense grey eyes stared at Remus' face, searching his messy eyebrows, half closed eyes, and dishevelled hair. Remus was just about to comment on Sirius' suspiciously moving eyes, when he realised he didn't actually mind being ripped open by him.

'Get changed and freshen up, I'll whip something up for you to nibble your mouth on.'

'Or order a fatty fry-up from House Elves Express, more like,' mumbled Remus, hands running through his hair in a sub-conscious attempt to straighten it out.

'I heard that, you shabby bag lady.' Sirius was so charming when he threw insults.

****

'So,' said Remus, munching on toasted bread, 'why did you come?'

Sirius gasped in mock horror. 'You mean I need a reason to visit one of my best friends, now? You depress me.'

'Oh, be quiet. You know what I mean.'

'Yeah, I thought I knew you but-'

'Shut up if you're not going to answer my question,' he interrupted, though he couldn't quite help grinning himself.

'I came to tell you something.'

Remus just stared at Sirius with those toasty amber eyes, waiting for him to elaborate. Sirius decided he'd just sit and stare back at Remus until he further questioned him. Drag things out like you always do, he thought to himself, wind him up. Oh, Sirius, you are such a funny man. Stop talking to yourself.

'Well? Tell me then.' It wasn't so much an order, more like a "what the fuck are you waiting for?" , but, of course, Remus tried to avoid swearing when ever possible.

'Well,' he began, breathing in loudly, and generally acting like a child, 'Lily and James have organised a party at their's tonight.' He finished quickly.

'And I'm invited?' questioned Remus, a vague look of apprehension on his face.

'Of course not, who do you think you are? I just thought I'd bother coming here to tell you that two of your closest friends have organised a party, and you're not invited. I'm rubbing it in, see?' And, with that, he rubbed Remus arm until it made him laugh and strike back.

Remus dropped the remaining few bites left of the toast onto the boring, wooden table, grabbed Sirius' arm, giving him a quick rush of goose bumps, and pulled it away. He then proceeded to fit his hands into Sirius' and managed to wrestle his back straight onto the chair. They stared at each other, eyes interlocking, for a few short seconds (though it seemed much longer to the pair of them), before Sirius swallowed the large lump in his throat and looked away.

'Sit, and stay there,' warned Remus.

'Yes, daddy.'

They sat quietly for a few moments and Sirius had the perfect chance to scan his eyes around the kitchen. It had been a few weeks since he last visited Remus' flat, due to work commitments. The last time he'd been here, Remus' room was a tip; bed unmade, blinds closed, clothes all over the floor, and the stench... It was a disgrace, to be frank. The sitting room, however, had always been quite neat and tidy. Certainly a massive contrast to his bedroom; it was like ying and yang. The sitting room was a pleasant area to sit; there was a comfortable leather sofa, coloured yellow, a (strangely) warm blue rug, a small coffee table decorated with magical creatures, and the curtains beautifully complimented the windows. There were always candles, attached to the walls, lit in the sitting room and kitchen.

Ah, the kitchen. Absolutely beautiful. Especially now that Remus was sat on the table reading the Daily Prophet and gnawing at his third toast, looking as elegant as usual (even with his ridiculously messy hair and enigmatic eye-bags).

****

'Oi, Remus? Remus!'

'Huh? What?' Remus looked up to see a wide eyed Sirius, just inches away from his face waving a hand before him.

'Paper that interesting, is it?'

'Not really,' he answered. He folded the newspaper up on the page he was at and Sirius saw that it was on the job seekers page. 'So, what do you want?'

'Just to tell you that I'll be leaving now and I will see you later, at James', yeah?'

Remus was just about to answer that he wouldn't be able to make it, because of some reason or other, but his mind was changed at the look on Sirius' face. He looked cheery and hopeful, yet certain that Remus would go. Why not, eh? 'Yeah, I'll be there. See you later.'

'Adios, amigo,' answered Sirius, apparently oblivious to the deep sigh that just escaped Remus' mouth.

'Wait!' Too late, he'd popped off. He wanted to ask if this 'party' was a private get together or arranged on a more wider scale. In other words, what's known as a 'good old bash'; a dinner for many. He sighed and shuddered slightly at the thought of having to mix with strangers; he definitely wasn't in the mood to meet new people. Looks like I'll have to find my neatest suit, then.

The day passed extremely slowly. Remus did absolutely nothing. When Sirius left, he'd tried to get some sleep but the summer sun's vivid glow was simply too powerful to try and sleep through; he tried to find some jobs in the newspaper, but there was absolutely nothing of interest to him or anything that he'd have a chance of being interviewed for. He was a werewolf, nobody wanted to employ one. Not that he could blame them...with a justified point, anyway. Then again, how was judging his working skills and personality on his lycanthropy fair?

It had just turned midday and Remus was slouched upon his soft sofa, arms under his tired head and left leg crossed under his right. He wasn't asleep, but listening to the radio. He kept switching stations; at one point it was a music station but the music was unbearably terrible, so he switched it to another music station before settling on a talk show station based on the opinions of Witches and Wizards all over London. Incidentally, it was called Voice Your Opinions.

The current topic was about prejudiced employers. How convenient. The Gods up there were certainly trying to tell Remus something today.

'This is Ivor from Edgware Road, Ivor what's your thoughts on this?'

'Well, oh, hello, by the way-'

'Hello, Ivor,' replied the deep and cheery voice of the radio show presenter.

'I think that these employers have a point. I mean, would you employ somebody who only had full use of, say, one eye? It's just-'

'Well, hold on, yes. Yes, I would. If the person has proved to me that they can do the job, well, then yes.'

'But you don't understand that the matter of the fact is that-'

'The matter of the fact is, my friend, that these selfish, heartless-'

'Can you let me talk, please? You have the whole show to yourself, can I say something?'

'Certainly, Ivor,' the witch replied. By the way she replied, it sounded as though a grin was forming on her face.

'Speaking as an employer, myself, I pity those who are finding it hard to find a job due to what ever condition they have. However, why would I risk employing somebody with defects when I have somebody else just as eager and more able to do the same job? Do you know what I mean?'

'Okay, Ivor, thanks for that. I think we'll just have to agree to disagree. We're taking a break now, don't go.'

Before the excruciating, bland adverts could start, Remus hissed, 'silencio!' and violently banged his head against the sofa in frustration. 'Ivor, if only I had your address and a temper like Sirius',' whispered Remus, emitting a heavy sigh. What would Sirius do if he was in this situation...?

****

Sirius was being demoniacally carried away by Muggle police officers after an attempt to jump at a tall man, who's nose was as high as could be in a very contemptuous manner. Who was this man? His crystal white hair gleamed in all the mayhem; Sirius seemed to be the only one hoarsely squawking like a tormented creature.

Three beefy and bulky Muggle officers embedded their foreheads with one another and they suddenly morphed into one huge, dribbling werewolf. Sirius' eyes grew three times their normal size and, instead of backing away, he ran forward towards the werewolf and clinged on to one of it's elongated, chunky hairs. The werewolf nodded its head to convey its acknowledgement of Sirius' action, and rapidly charged backwards, trampling over the white haired stranger.

Sirius grinned and ruffled the werewolf's hair in a trifling way when, suddenly, the werewolf's moonlit eyes crawled downwards and it bore it's jagged teeth whilst making a spine chilling sound. It culled Sirius up, by the neck, with its knife-like teeth. His limbs shook, furiously, with terror and a muffled noise came out, but Remus couldn't hear what he was saying...what was he saying?

Sirius... Sirius?

****

'Sirius!' yelled Remus, sitting up in terror, shining beads of sweat running down his nose and his breathing harshly shallow. 'Oh,' he sighed, relieved, 'it was just a dream. A Nightmare, rather.'

He swerved his legs off the sofa and sat, elbows on knees and head on hands, for a short while to allow himself to rationalize the matter and heave a generous sigh of relief. He glanced at his watch, expecting to see the arrows inform him that it was just past two in the afternoon, and was shocked to learn that it was almost five in the evening.

Five? Already? Remus could have sworn it was just minutes ago when he drifted into a deep sleep before being barbarically woken up. Obviously not. He decided he'd better get dressed and ready for this 'do' and, perhaps, help out, now that he was in the mood to. He got up from the sofa and dragged himself to his disordered bedroom to look for something to wear. Off came his watch in a hurry and out came the clothes.

After fifteen minutes, he'd considered two shirts and two pairs of trousers. He decided to go with the first shirt, which was white and once belonged to his father, and the first pair of trousers which had less minor blemishes than the other pair. As far as jackets, ties, and shoes went, he only had one of each, so he didn't really have much of a choice.

Looking at the small bathroom mirror, he saw that he looked as good as he possibly could. He smoothed down his hair with one suave movement of his wand and winked at his reflection. 'Ah, you might look a little rundown right now, my man, but you're still as hot as firewisky.' With that, he flashed a grin, rushed over to the kitchen table to grab the bottle of wine he had ready, and Apparated.

****

A knock on the door, and James was frantically called to run over to welcome the guest. 'James! Somebody's at the door, honey, you couldn't answer it could you? I'm a little occupied here.'

'Understatement if I ever heard one!' answered an amused voice.

'Sirius, if you're not going to help, at least have the decency not to slurp up all the drinks, eh?' called James whilst approaching the door. The door whipped open, a lovely draught of fresh air swarmed into the house and James grinned at the man before him. 'Remus! Glad you could make it, mate. I was going to tell you myself but Sirius, here, offered to see you and tell you, being the helpful sod he is.'

'Ah, yes, he made sure of that, did he?'

Before James could answer, a sturdy arm appeared out of nowhere, it seemed, and wrapped itself around James' slender neck. Before any confusion dragged on, Sirius' head made itself apparent from behind the circular, cosy door.

'Oye, oye, Moony! I see you came,' said an apparently hyper Sirius, whilst grinning.

'Is he drunk?' asked Remus, eyebrows arched and finger lazily pointing to Sirius.

'He's had quite a few of the firewhiskeys, if that's where you're getting at,' replied James, eyebrows cocked, chocolate brown eyes illustrating the laughter in his eyes.

'Shut up, you wand humping, dog faced, elf minded, half-witted twerps,' he retorted before giving a, what look to be, painful burp. 'So has the party moved to outside the door or something? Come in, you plank.'

'Hello, Remus. How are you?' Lily welcomed, rosy cheeked. Beads of sweat were dancing on her forehead and she seemed slightly out of breath. It was also quite obvious that her hair wasn't up to scratch, at that moment.

'All good, thanks,' he lied. 'Been keeping busy?'

She laughed nervously and replied, 'ah, well, I suppose it's quite obvious I'm not looking my best at the moment... Hard work, you know. James has been helping.' She paused to glance over to James quickly, meeting his eyes and grinned before, 'Sirius, here, has been doing more damage than help though. Sirius will you please stop drinking all the firewhiskeys?' added a furrow browed Lily.

Just as Sirius was about to retort (make up an excuse, more like), Remus thought it the perfect moment to cut in and break all awkwardness. 'So, what's this party for?' he asked, putting down the bottle of wine on the table, and looking around the homely kitchen.

'You need excuses to party?'

'I'm not drunk, guys, I'm not! I'm just happy we're all together enjoying this-' He paused for a moment and looked around, as though he suddenly noticed something, before adding curiously, 'where's Peter?'

'Peter'll be here later, due to work or something like that.'

'Oh.'

'And, to answer your question, Remus, this party is sort of a... I suppose you could say a work party.'

Remus' eyes bulged out for a quick second and he hoped nobody noticed. They didn't seem to, because James continued speaking: 'Sirius and I have invited some people who we've met at work, Lily's invited people over from St Mungo's and Peter'll bring some workmates over, I suspect. Though I'm sort of hoping he doesn't, they're all dodgy down at the department he works at, I hear.'

'Department of... What department again?'

'To be honest, I've no idea. All I know is that they're a weird bunch. Sort of make you feel really out of place and outcasted when you're surrounded by them.'

Before the three men could continue their conversation on Peter's job and such, the bell rang for the second time that evening. Lily jumped a little and panicked slightly about the cake being burnt and firewhisky running scarce before the three new guests were introduced.

'Alroy, this is Lily, my wife-'

'Pleased to meet you. What a looker you got here, James!' Sirius and Remus exchanged looks of amazement and James' left hand jolted slightly as it put his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose.

The second time that evening, Lily laughed nervously. 'Oh, pleased to meet you, Alroy.'

'All right, Sirius? And who's this?' asked the man, staring at Remus and holding out a fair, bony, hairless hand. Sirius happily put his arm round Remus' waist, which caused the three guests to raise their eyebrows in wonder, and introduced the men to one another.

This went on; they all introduced themselves to each other, exchanged fake smiles, and made small talk. Remus hated small talk, what was the point to it? It only increased the levels of discomfort and ruined chances of coming across as pleasing and fun. The three men, Alroy, Barry, and Dave were eventually ushered to the large, square sitting room and Sirius, Remus and James were all ordered to go with them whilst Lily worked her magic, so to speak, in the kitchen.

Before they went into the sitting room, however, Remus tugged on Sirius' sleeve and pulled him back. 'What's wrong?' asked Sirius at seeing the look of worry on Remus' face.

'I don't have a job, do I? So while you're all in there swapping hilarious anecdotes, I'll be sitting in the corner wondering why on earth I was invited. Why did James invite me, anyway?' He added, as an afterthought.

'Listen,' whispered Sirius, quickly glancing over to the sitting room entrance, 'you won't be left out. It's not exclusively a work party, James isn't that stupid. Just be calm, don't worry about it. Come on, let's go in before tweedle-dee, tweedle-dum and tweedle-twat start raising suspicions.'

'Tweedle-?' But before Remus had time to question Sirius on this 'tweedle' business, he was pulled in by him, much to everybody's awe.

One perplexing hour later, a silent tap on the door was heard and Remus gladly offered to answer it. He stood up, exchanged a cheeky glance with Sirius and James before nervously smiling at the three newest guests and walked right out of the thick-aired room. He blissfully hummed his way through the narrow, red carpeted, hallway and answered the door with a little jig. "Peter! What took you so long?" greeted Remus.

'Ah, you know, work stuff and the likes...' he said, speech deteriorating into a mumble.

'Of course,' he quickly replied. 'Well, come on in.'

Peter was a lot less ample than he had been the last time Remus had seen him, which was months before. He'd lost something... Something Peter-ish about himself. He was a lot less adulate and Remus couldn't help but think that he'd formed a sort of sneaky exterior around him. Was it because of work? Were they influencing him? Scaring him? Feeding him lies? What was it about Peter's work that was so suspicious? Jesus, Remus didn't even know where Peter worked. Did anybody know? Did anybody even care to ask him about it?

Looking around him, Remus noticed that hardly anybody paid Peter any attention and, in all honestly, Remus was getting even more attention. Despite having no job (though the three "tweedles" didn't know that and he had no plans of informing them unless they asked), he was more welcomed, in a sense, to the conversations. More than once through the night, Remus tried to involve Peter but when that failed and crumbled like a hundred foot tall tower, he decided he'd have his own private chat with Peter. Anything to make him feel more at home. That, however, failed just as badly, if not more. He seemed uninterested and hardly able to talk; his mind was obviously on something else.

Giving up all hope, like with everything else in his life, Remus settled on sitting back and watching the others, or letting his mind wonder off to someplace else. I wonder if there are any more guests arriving...

Before Remus could even ponder on that, the doorbell rang and frantic footsteps were heard running through the hallway to the door. Seconds later, a welcoming scream, laughter, and kisses thundered through the house.

'Your wife ever get to take a rest?' asked Barry, spiritlessly.

'Don't have a laugh, she's got to keep on her feet. Working for her man, eh?' added Alroy in a snide manner, grinning.

Remus actually felt the heat rise considerably quickly in the room, at that moment, and was waiting for James (or even Sirius) to erupt any second. When neither of them did, he blinked and saw that Lily had suddenly appeared with six or seven guests.

****

It had just approached ten o' clock at night (Remus had been glancing at the clock often for the past couple of hours or so) and he decided he'd call it a night and leave. There was, after all, no point in his company. There were about twenty guests or so, all (apart from Peter and himself) participating somehow whether it be with their tips, stories, work plans, life ambitions, they were all saying something.

He stood up and quickly brushed away any crumbs and, just as he was about to announce his departure, a slimy voice spoke. 'Leaving so soon?'

'I... Yes, Alroy, I think I had better leave, now. Well, thanks for everything James, Lily... Sirius, see you soon. Good-bye, Peter.' With that, he made to leave the room, thankful he was so close to the door, as he couldn't bear to walk through the awkward silence, past all the aghast stares.

'Stay will you, Moony?' called out Sirius.

'Indeed. You never mentioned what your job was?'

The reaction of the whole room was unbearable. Even Peter seemed to forget his train of thoughts and was staring at Remus.

A few of the healers, friends of Lily's, coughed and tried to start a new subject to ease the tension in the room (the tension was so painfully thick it could be cut in half with one swipe of a knife), but Alroy carried on: 'Ah, I'm sorry to hear that,' he said, sounding unremorseful and lazy. Why should he be sorry anyway? Remus didn't have a job, fine, but who was he to feel "sorry" about it? It wasn't the end of the world if somebody didn't have a job... He carried on in his droning bored voice and said, 'I'm not surprised, though. I did think your suit was a little, er, crummy.'

Remus' hands shortly quivered and his mouth trembled ever so slightly before his eyes left the floor and looked up at nothing in particular. Voice slightly shaken, Remus swallowed a huge lump in his throat and managed to say, 'right, well, thanks. I'll be off. Again, nice meeting most of you.' He shot Alroy an uneasy quick glance before leaving the room to let himself out.

'You nasty bastard,' spat Sirius into the rough silence that surrounded them all.

The whole room emitted a large gasp and James hesitantly said, 'that was all unnecessary Alroy, and Sirius?' Sirius shot him a furtive glance, 'calm down. I'll go get some drinks, shall I?'

'Oh, um, yes, James... Some cherry cake, Docilla?' said Lily, a shakey smile plastered on her face as she held out a plate that contained two more slices of Lily's infamous cherry cake to Docilla and the man beside her (her husband).

'Do carry on, Sirius. Why am I a nasty bastard, then?' Alroy seemed intrigued to know what Sirius wanted to say. It was as though he could read Sirius' mind and knew what he was thinking yet wanted him to go on, perhaps to embarrass himself in front of everybody, to give himself a bad name. Since when did Sirius care about what other people thought, though?

Sirius looked like he was considering what he'd say, as though he was concocting a full on speech of hatred mingled with wit. However, he decided against it, apparently, because, instead, he simply settled with, 'piss off,' in a snarl, despite Lily's "Sirius, really...". 'Wanker.' With that, he heatedly got up, grabbed two bottles of the stronger firewhiskey and a bowl of cherries before leaving the room in uncomfortable shock.

James had just come out of the kitchen with a slight smile on his face apparently under the impression that the mood had become softer. At seeing Sirius, he asked, "what are you doing with a bowl of cherries, idiot?"

'Taking them to Remus,' he replied, shortly.

'Er, right,' said James, glancing at Sirius' shaking hands. 'You're leaving too, then? Merlin's bushy beard...'

'Sorry, mate, I'll see you later.' He grabbed James' head with his arms and his neck cracked. Something Sirius didn't seem to have noticed, though.

****

The breezy visage of the summer night managed to brighten Remus' mood despite having just been humiliated in front of twenty odd strangers because of one certain person, who seemed to have a personal vendetta against him. He sat on the black-covered bench outside James' and Lily's home in the cosy village of Godric's Hollow. His feet were swinging, free from his tight shoes, allowing the razor sharp blades of grass tickle his toes whilst causing him pain. He did this while staring at the ground watching the way the light from the street lamps played on the pleasant garden and his feet swinging on them causing the light to flicker... Off, on, off, on-

'You're here!' shouted an ecstatic voice. Remus quickly looked up and was slightly unnerved to see Sirius, in all his glory, speed walking towards him, a happy grin dominating his expression. 'Thought you'd gone off home or...' He paused. 'You still down about what piss pot in there said?'

Remus emitted a quiet and dry laugh. 'He's right, though, isn't he?' He said it as though it was a statement, yet still looked into Sirius' eyes in a plead, as if to ask "is he right or not?"

'Not at all. You haven't got a job, fine, but we who matter know that's not your fault. It's just... Your furry little problem.'

Again, Remus laughed. This time, though, he did it with some interest. 'As James wonderfully puts it... Sirius?' he started, looking up at him as though wanting nothing more than to curl up and rest his head on Sirius' broad chest, 'why is it so... Hard?'

For lack of a better thing to do, Sirius held out the bowl of cherries and said, 'have a cherry.'

Remus snorted in reply, 'a cherry? Honestly, the things you come up with.' He helped himself to a cherry, anyway.

Sirius watched Remus with yearning in his eyes as the succulent cherry juice painted his lips before streaming down his chin and dripping off, drop by drop, one by one, staining his white shirt.

'Oh, galloping gargoyles!' he said, irritably.

'It's okay, let me take care of that,' said Sirius with half a grin, whilst leaning over slightly to whip out his wand.

For a short glorious moment there, Remus thought Sirius was about to lean over and lick the juice off (as much good as it'd do, anyway). His eyes safely fell back into their sockets, all warm and safe, and his breathing rate slowed down, though his chest still heaved ever so slightly quicker than it did moments before, when he realised that Sirius was just fishing for his wand.

'U-um, it's okay, I'll do it.' And with a swish of his wand, the stains were gone. The cherries didn't seem so inviting anymore; they sat there, violently red, in the glass bowl just waiting to dribble all over Remus' clothing again in an attempt to kill him with a sheer heart attack at what Sirius would do. Even though he knew Sirius wouldn't actually wipe the blemishes off with his finger let alone lick them.

Disappointment seemed to wash over Sirius' face before he turned away and started gazing up at the black sky. What started as an awkward silence suddenly became graceful. They sat together in the peaceful breeze of the cool night for a few short minutes, happy to be beside one another. For the first time that night or, rather, for the first time in the past few months, Remus had the urge to dance. To dance with anybody, under the protection of the starry night sky; he wanted to swing with Sirius in the smooth silence with the warmth of the stars washing over them.

'The stars look, er, bright tonight,' commented Remus, breaking the silence.

Sirius replied in a bark of a laughter, 'you sound like a fucking centaur.' Pop! 'Want a drink?'

Seconds, minutes, hours had passed since Sirius sat outside in the becoming chilly weather to join Remus. Of course, in the past hour or so, Remus had become considerably tipsy, due to the extra strong firewhiskey (Madam Rosmerta's finest), and was a little out of his usual self. This only made Sirius chuckle, for this strange behaviour amused him. He found it rather... cute.

'You don't think you've had a little too much, then?' asked Sirius, a teasing hint in his voice.

'Me? Ha, you had about ten of these a few hours ago.' He accompanied his reply with a light prod on Sirius' chest and when his finger bounced off his chest, Remus only frowned at his finger and prodded Sirius again (much to Sirius' delight).

'And so you are right, but I reckon you should take a break and, er, look at the stars, eh?' Sirius was concerned about Remus drinking too much, not to be a nag or anything, but because he wasn't completely sure if it would affect his transformation in the coming days for the worse. He watched Remus throw him a calculating glance before pausing to examine his bottle once more and taking a rather large swipe. He swallowed loudly and his Adam's apple bulged out for one whole second, Sirius noticed, before shutting back into its normal place, safely, once again.

'Here,' he replied, stretching out his arm for Sirius to take the almost-empty bottle. 'I shouldn't have drank so much.'

'Well, it can't be that bad if you're coherent enough to string words together reasonably and notice you drank a lot.' Sirius now took out his packet of cigarettes labelled Zonko's Magic Puffs and pulled one rather long and thin lilac stick. Noticing Remus shortly glance at the cigarette, Sirius said, 'business is good. James' creation, this. Want one?' He privately hoped Remus would decline his offer; surely smoking would be worse than alcohol for his health?

'No, thanks. You'll be offering me drugs, soon.' Sirius grinned and flashed his white teeth. Business certainly was looking good for them. 'So, tell me about Zonko's. Bet you're getting a lot of teenagers now that the summer holidays have arrived?' He tried to sound pleasant but he couldn't help thinking, I wouldn't be in this mess if I had some money to call my own.

Sirius, who was sat in a relaxed manner, inhaled and exhaled the mint green smoke rather flirtatiously as he held the cigarette between two fingers with his wand hand before replying, 'you know, we get teens in and out. No doubt they're our biggest customers.' He puffed again and a thicker smoke emerged. Sirius noticed Remus watching him with a hungry look in his eyes before adding rather hesitantly, 'the, er, offer still stands, you know... James and I, we'll share all the money we have without thinking twice about it for a second.'

A quick reply and jerky body movements came along with a progressively frustrated voice. 'You wouldn't have to pay us back! How many times do we have to tell you?'

'But for the sake of my dignity, I couldn't go through with it.'

'You're so stubborn.' Sirius shook his head and went back to leaning on his left arm whilst taking gentle drags of the scented smoke. Up went his right hand, taking the vibrant lilac cigarette into his pretty little mouth and out it came again for that thick flash of smoke to emerge into the air before disappearing into nothingness.

Remus gulped and licked his dry lips (the air must have caught on a little, then). 'Says you, the most stubborn person I've ever met.'

'Yeah,' he started, a pout forming with those full, pink-tinged lips, 'but this is different. We're close, Remus, I love you like you're family. I'm not trying to crush your dignity, can't you just see it as a little help?'

Remus blushed slightly at those chosen words and said, rather softly, so that Sirius had to move closer (not something Remus had planned to happen), 'thanks... I love you, too.' And then realising what he'd said, quickly added, 'like family, too, you know.'

A slight pause (in which Remus wished to disappear into thin air) and then, 'I know you do. That's cleared up then, so what do you say?' He swished back to his previous position and Remus' nose caught an attractive whiff of sweat (Sirius sweat, in particular), sweet strawberries and, for some reason, the smell of freshly cut grass. His cigarette was reduced to a lame two centimetre object that was brutally squashed on the bench before disappearing at Sirius' incantation of 'evanesco'.

What did Remus have to lose now? He'd just told Sirius that he loved him, was there really anything harder? He decided not and before he could convince his mind to not go through with it, he blurted out, 'God. I'm sick of this, Sirius. Sick. Of. It. All.' Sirius just sat there, left leg crossed over right, head on left arm, elbow rested on the arm rest, and watched Remus. Remus guessed this meant "carry on". 'I'm nearing twenty, I have no job and nothing to show for my life. And, let's face it, who in their right mind would be buggering to employ me? A werewolf!' Surprisingly, he didn't hesitate or whisper the last word. He usually tried to avoid saying it and, when he did, he'd say it ever so softly, like it was a bad word. Tonight, though, he couldn't give an owl's feather.

His best friend smiled and a sparkle shone in his eyes. Remus wondered if that was his answer and whether he was supposed to understand what it meant before Sirius finally said, 'you're cute when you rant.'

'Oh, be quiet. I was just complimenting you.' Sirius was eased to see Remus' shoulders relax before carrying on to say, 'I know it can't be easy. What, with your, er, furry little-'

'Problem, yes. Honestly, do you have to call it that?'

'Yeah, you ungrateful prat.' He nudged his not-currently-furry friend on the arm and was a little taken aback to see that he seemed... Fragile. He wasn't that thin-but-healthy boy he knew in Hogwarts anymore. Perhaps he'd been too busy to notice before, but Remus did seem a little thinner. The bags under his eyes were evident even in the blurred, somber atmosphere and he didn't even bother nudging Sirius back, which he'd gladly have done hours earlier. 'It's that... That hag-faced twat, Alroy, isn't it? He's made you like this, hasn't he?'

Remus wasn't completely surprised to hear Sirius accuse his current depressive mood on Alroy so scathingly and, although he'd've liked Alroy to get some of Sirius' mind, he replied, lazily, 'no, not at all. It's just been building up. Are you honestly surprised?' Sirius, in return, frowned a little and looked as though he was concentrating hard. On what, Remus didn't know, but he looked ever so sweet pouting like that, deliberately or not, eyebrows furrowed and eyes squinting. He chuckled to himself and never meant for it to be as loud as it came out.

'What? What's so funny?'

He wanted to immediately shoot back that Sirius looked adorable when he concentrated but that, somehow, didn't seem quite fitting. Sirius said it to him just moments earlier, yes, but that was... Different. For one, he was Sirius. Nothing was too daring for him, really. And secondly, he was Remus. Remus did not just come out and tell the man he'd fancied for several years that he was adorable. 'Oh, nothing.'

'Hmph.' Silence. Then, 'hey, why don't I help you find a job, then, if you don't want our money?'

'No, Sirius, I will not come work for you, either.'

'Oh... How did you know-?'

'Perhaps because you've asked me before and I know how the mind of Sirius Black works?'

'Sometimes, people... It's not easy for everybody, you know.' And having found new inspiration for words to express his thoughts using subtle language, Remus felt driven to continue so he did: 'Some people are good with words, you know that? Some people, I suppose, find it easy to express their thoughts using words because that's just the way they are. They're open and warm, like you and James. Others, though... Others would prefer to keep their thoughts locked up. Others just don't like sharing their inner most secretive feelings in-case they're, I supposed, laughed at or rejected or humiliated in any way.' He sighed at that, and looked at Sirius who was staring at him, a benign smile on his face.

'What about Peter, then?'

'Well, I supp-' He paused. 'What do you mean?'

'You've just described James, myself, and yourself, I believe... And Peter? You seem to be good at this and I'm wondering what's been on Peter's mind recently. Probably has some spotty thirteen year old chasing him and doesn't know how to deal with it. What, with it being the first, and last,' he added, 'person who's ever likely to take interest in the little plank.'

'For a friend, you lack a little, what's the word? Consideration towards his feelings. He was really out of it tonight.'

'Yeah... Well, like I said-'

'Just because you have about a million girls chasing you.'

'Eh, a little jealousy I hint, there?' said Sirius, careful not to prod Remus very hard this time in fear that it'd throw him off the bench.

'Not at all, Sirius. Not at all.' Had he said that with persuasion? The Lord knew that Remus was jealous. Not of Sirius, of course, but of those... Pre-pubescent, swooning girls. To his knowledge, Sirius never once dated any of them but he'd had relationships with men before. Remus knew that from their days at Hogwarts when Sirius would barge into the Gryffindor common room, not at all worried that he'd topple through the portrait hole, much to the Portrait of the Fat Lady's disgust, but you could never quite be sure with Sirius; he liked to experiment.

'Right,' he answered before reaching out for his pocket again to take a cigarette.

'Not another one? You know, although James has enchanted them so that they're not as addictive, you don't seem to-'

'Come off it, I was only getting my wand out!' He was true to his word, out came his wand (though Remus couldn't help but notice that Sirius did a double take before his hand trembled slightly and dove deeper into his pocket before tugging out the wand). 'Er,' he said. 'Doesn't look like I need my wand, after all.'

'Weren't fishing out those cigarettes then, eh?' This time, it was Remus who gently shoved Sirius.

'I wanted to ask you, actually,' started Sirius, swallowing a small painful lump in his throat. 'How's the love life going? Found yourself a girl yet?' He tried to speak with blithe as he said it.

A girl? Oh, God, no. The only reason he'd "find himself a girl" would be to befriend one or get tips on buying gifts for his mother's birthday or something other than romance and sex. 'Er, no, not quite.' Should he tell him? Why not, after all? Sirius, who he'd known so well for the past eight years or so like a brother, like more than a brother. Sirius who knew him more than anybody in the world probably did (and he proved that just minutes before). He'd understand, surely? Remus trusted he wouldn't laugh at him and felt this was the time to finally get it out. The only person in the world who knew was James and that's the way it had been until... 'BecauseI'mgay.'

If Sirius did a double take before then this was a double take tenfolded. He spluttered and choked on his words before he coughed and put himself together and said, 'run that by me again? You're what?'

Remus blushed a violent red. Not pink, red. 'Gay, Sirius, gay. There's no need to be so surprised.'

One thought was running through Sirius' mind: Remus is gay; he is free. Oh, I could dance right now! before the more rational voice in his head replied, rather thunderously, no, Sirius, just because he's gay, that doesn't make you the only person he'll want to date you complete and utter fool. His rational voice was never there when he needed it to be but in times like this, it never feared to rear its ugly head and drum some sense into him. 'How long? I mean, when did you find out? How did you find out?'

'About two years now-'

'Two years-?!'

'Found out in Hogwarts, quite obviously, and how I found out, well-' He paused and remembered when he first found out. It had been when he realised that Sirius touching him and causing goose bumps to run all over his skin wasn't just a coincidence; when Sirius saying his name and making Remus blush ever so slightly wasn't just a coincidence; when Remus found himself staring at Sirius and taking in every single part of him and, of course, those, ah, dreams. 'I found out one... Day.'

Sirius actually laughed this time. 'One day? Don't be stupid. You don't just wake up one morning and say to yourself "Oh, I think I'll be gay now!"'

'Oh, well thank you for that insight. I think next you'll be telling me I'm not gay.' Wow, it sounded so strange making it official like that. Admittedly, Remus had never been in a real relationship with anybody he really cared about, so being gay had never really quite gripped him like this and helped him to accept it easier. Perhaps it was because he was in the company of somebody extremely close who could share those feelings that it made things easier.

'Well, I never imagined this to happen when I left that sitting room in there.' He jerked his head towards Lily's and James' home. 'So, have you ever had a boyfriend?'

'A boyfriend,' Remus repeated. 'A boyfriend...'

'Er, yeah, that's what they're called, those boys you fuck.'

'What poetry.'

'Yeah, well, you know what I mean,' replied Sirius, a bold grin on his face. 'Stop dodging the question, do tell all.'

'Not really, to be honest with you. I suppose not being able to get a job isn't the only downside to being a werewolf.'

'Last time I checked, it was supposed to be I that spoke with such a bitter manner,' said Remus, quietly breathing out in stress and shortly glancing around his surroundings before settling his eyes, once again, upon the scraggly haired and stubbled man that was Sirius.

'I'm not bitter. I'm just saying... You think too much about your furry, oh, all right, lycanthropy,' Sirius paused for less than a split second at noticing Remus shuddered slightly at the word before continuing with, 'and, quite frankly, it's not healthy. What makes you think people around you are so aware?'

'Well, in terms of jobs, they have to know. I can't just forget to tell them. And in terms of relationships, I'm hardly going to get involved with somebody properly if they didn't know what I really was and, to be fair, I'm not ready to tell anybody. I doubt I ever will be,' he added.

Sirius carried on staring at Remus, who's head was arched back as his amber eyes smoothly searched the sky, his golden brown eyelashes fluttering as they did so, and wanted so badly to tell him that he knew about it and he didn't care in the least bit. He would never do anything to hurt Remus deliberately and he would be the best bloody lover he'd ever have. Instead, all he could muster was, 'Mm. I'm sorry.'

'For what?' came the quick reply, the voice's owner wearing an expression of worry.

'I don't know... Making you feel like you had to tell me that.'

The harsh lines of anxiousness on Remus' face smoothed immediately and he broke into a tender smile (that melted Sirius' heart). 'You didn't make me feel like I had to tell you. You know it's harder to squeeze something out of me. Especially something as big as this. I'm happy I told you, actually.' Sirius' eyebrows arched and they almost got lost in his hair. 'I feel a whole lot better. I think I've been keeping in far too many secrets in this head,' he tapped his head, 'and getting some things out has made me quite... Happy.'

'Yeah? Nothing else you wanted to tell me? Anything? At all?' Sirius realised he sounded very desperate but he was past caring. He felt like a complete idiot. Before him was the man he'd known for eight years, ever since they were boys, the man whom he'd loved for several years and the man who was absolutely perfect for him. No, perfect for each other. Remus was the only one who could control him under his ruthless anger, the only one who smiled like that, who searched his mind like that, who touched him like that. The only one who could make his heart melt and, most importantly, the only one he was in love with.

He considered his mind before speaking. He considered the thoughts of, yes, Sirius, there is one more thing; I love you. Well, bye now! But almost immediately decided against saying that. He'd never dare be so forward. Especially with Sirius if it meant he didn't like him back in that sense; it could cause friendship problems and that was the last thing Remus wanted or needed, for that matter. 'Not really, why? You?'

Before Sirius even had time to think what he'd say or, rather, do, he found himself grabbing Remus by the head and clinging on to his hair before kissing him. It was like he was outside his own body and was watching the scene from a meter or two away. Even Sirius, as adventurous as he was, wouldn't usually have dared to do something like this, to risk his friendship with Remus so carelessly. Perhaps he was under the influence of drink (though that wore off hours ago). Maybe it was the cigarette? Could it really have just been pure adrenaline taking care of it all?

Before he could think any longer or try to arrange his crazy train of thoughts, he suddenly realised, as though with a bang! to the head, that Remus wasn't kissing him back. Remus' tongue wasn't passionately dancing with Sirius', he wasn't desperately biting his lips, wasn't licking his teeth or fighting for breath... Wasn't anything. He pulled away rapidly at having noticed this and, like an impulse action, threw his head into his hands and emitted cries of stress and shame.

'I am so, unbelievably, bloody, fucking sorry. My God, I don't know what on this twatting earth possessed me to do that to you. The last thing I wanted was to ruin our friendship and, God, Remus, say something?' He still didn't look up but his voice was absolutely full of desperation.

'Look at me.'

'No, thanks, I'd rather not have you see-'

'Look at me.' It was an order this time.

Sirius pressed his, now sweaty, forehead harder against his fingers and gritted his teeth with such force that he was sure it'd be painful the next morning before irritably running his manly, tough hands (they'd become considerably less slender over the past year that he'd spent endless hours making up new creations and testing them out) through his knotted, damp hair and looked up at Remus who, he was surprised to find, was smiling. 'Is that a mocking smile? Because I'm okay with that. I deserve-'

'Do that again.'

'-Everything I get after what I just-' he broke up abruptly with an alarmed look on his face. 'Er, what?' he asked, mouth gaping.

But instead of waiting for Sirius to do anything, Remus did something that would probably shock him for the rest of his life and went in for the killer. Seeing as how Sirius' mouth was already open, it made it all the more easier. His tongue slipped in easily and played with the other whilst their lips mingled with each other and grappled with hunger. Both breathed heavily through their nostrils and Remus was positive that, had he been watching himself, he'd've ferociously cringed at the sight and might've even puked. But that was neither here nor there. He was finally kissing Sirius Black and nothing else mattered.

Hearts beating a hundred times faster, stars erupted in their minds and violent red, sparkling white and bright blue fireworks were soaring through their eyelids. Nothing in the world actually mattered apart from what was happening then, and that was completely true. It suddenly didn't matter that Remus didn't have a job and was finding it severely hard to get one, it didn't matter that he'd never been involved in a real relationship before and it definitely didn't matter to Sirius that Remus turned into a werewolf once a month and was insecure and, in some ways, desperate for love because Sirius was ready to give that love. Sirius was prepared to do anything to share his love with Remus and Remus was prepared to do the same. Their lips, their mouths, their everything, fitted together perfectly in the same way that fragments of a broken ankle eventually fit together, flawlessly.

****

Remus Lupin or Sirius Black had no idea how long they'd been, ah, busy but it certainly didn't seem long enough when a sharp voice from afar shouted incendio! and caused a large fire to appear nearby where Sirius and Remus were seated, hence putting them in full view to anybody watching.

'Sirius? And... Remus?' came a bewildered voice. Shortly after, in lethargic movements, a man wearing pyjamas, hair untidier than usual and glasses dropping off his left ear so that he looked quite comical, had appeared.

'James, hi there... We were just, um, talking.'

'Talking, were you, Moony?' said James playfully, a high note of sarcasm and mockery in his tone. 'Look, I know what you two were doing and it's hardly a surprise seeing as how I could hear you, as could Lily, from our bedroom window, guys.'

'You're right,' replied Sirius, a look of sorrow and regret painted on his face. James stood up taller and heaved out his chest in sheer pride before Sirius carried on with, 'you're right, you should've kept your window closed.'

Down and inwards James' chest went so that his back became slightly slumped. 'Oh, ha ha. I don't mind you giving each other good old love bites in my garden but if you're going to go a little further and add even more graphic sound effects, do it in your own privacy, eh?'

Before Sirius could throw back a witty retort, Remus cut in and said, 'sorry. We won't bother you anymore. What's the time, anyway?'

'No idea, around four in the morning, I think. Everybody went home hours ago.'

'Blimey, four? What are you doing awake so late, anyway?'

James blushed and lowered his voice to such a soft whisper that Remus and Sirius had to both squint their eyes and pout this time in concentration as he said, 'you know how we've been trying for a baby?'

'Ahh...'

'Yeah.' He coughed and then, 'anyway, ladies, I'm off to my Princess.' Sirius snorted and turned it into a strange cough at Remus' indignant and warning poke. 'I'll talk to you guys later. Oh, Remus... I was going to tell you this at some point but I might as well say it now; forget what Alroy said, eh? He didn't mean it.' Remus' eyebrows twined. 'Well, okay, maybe he did but who cares? His opinion's worth as much as Sirius' ideas are worth and, believe me, that's not much.'

'Oi... He's right, though. You know that?'

'Don't worry about me. I get like this sometimes, it'll go away. It usually does. In fact,' he said, with a huge grin, (the hugest grin he'd probably ever grinned in the world of grins), 'I think it's gone already, what with my new found happiness. Now that I've got something else to watch over and take care of-'

'Ouch, Sirius, whipped.'

'Be quiet,' growled Sirius.

'Anyway, like I was saying, I'm over the moon at the moment.' A pause. 'Er, that was an unintended pun.'

A few heart warming moments later, James scurried off back to his bedroom, leaving Sirius and Remus alone once more. For a short moment, Remus had the sudden idea that what if Sirius had changed his mind? What if he was just acting on impulse before? He was just about to open his mouth to break the crawling silence when-

'Hey, you, er, want to come to my place? Only, I've seen your place and, to be honest, it's a dump. I mean, we don't have to, you know, do anything. I'm just offering, well not offering as in trying to break your dignity or anything it's just that- Why are you laughing, now?'

'Watching you get in such a rut like that. You must've looked back and forth from me to your toes about a hundred times then and your cheeks look like they're burning.'

Sirius' hands, as though in a reflex action, slapped his cheeks to either cover them up or feel them (or both). 'God, don't make the situation easier for me then, eh? It's already so simple I'm practically sailing through it.'

'Yeah, okay, no need to be such a sarcastic git. I'd love to spend the night at yours. You know I could just easily clean up my place, if I can call it my place, which reminds me, I haven't paid this month's rent yet... Anyway,' he added quickly at seeing Sirius' mouth open, probably to offer some money again, 'we both know that with a few swishes of my wand, the flat would be brand spanking new in less than five minutes but I appreciate the offer and Lord knows how much I crave the company.'

'Well then,' said a Sirius with a stupid, flashy grin on his face, 'what are we waiting for? Let's be off!'

And, with that, they held hands and disappeared in a silent pop leaving the warm bench free for the remaining person in the garden to sit on; Peter had been lurking for a few hours in the darkness. He was sneaky that way, and rather proud, too. He tiptoed, lighter than a mouse would move, and sat on the bench over Sirius' and Remus' body warmth. The only thing that could be seen in the current darkness were the whites of two watery, small eyes and, by the looks of them, they were in deep concentration. Peter was obviously brewing a plan. A plan worthy to poison others.

A high-pitched, squeaky voice spoke out into the darkness, into nothing, and said, 'so they are planning to have a baby...' The sound of skin rubbing together and clap! 'Excellent,' cried the slimy voice.

Meanwhile, from James and Lily Potter's bedroom, a loud clap! and POP could be heard and Lily took a sharp intake of breath as James hurriedly put on his glasses and rushed over to his window wondering what on earth that noise was.

'What is it?' asked Lily, her voice full of awe and vague worry.

'I can't see anything. I think it was just a fox. You know how they like to hang around muggle places.' Despite feeling it was a little more than that, he managed to smile and laugh it off, even if he did sound a little nervous in doing so.

'Mmm, you're probably right. Come back to bed, honey, you start work early today.'

James walked over to the bed which was, indeed, inviting and crawled inside, curling up with his wife. 'I love you, you know that?'

'Mmmhm. I love you more.'

'We've got each other and that's what matters, eh? There's no reason for us to ever worry. Times are getting dark, I know that, but you've got me.'

'I know, honey, don't get all philosophical on me now, you've had all day to say that,' she replied as she turned over briefly and smiled, planting a soft kiss on his nose before turning her head once again so that her hair tickled his face. 'G'night.'

Just as James was about to mutter his final 'goodnight' before turning off, the power of sleep overtook him. His heavy eyelids drooped and he managed to just about say, 'g-hm', before drifting off to sleep. Lily turned around again to see that her husband had fallen asleep (finally) and left his glasses on. The clumsy sod, she thought fondly, and she took off his glasses and placed them on her bedside table before, 'nox', and they were plunged into peaceful darkness.