Green Eyes, Brown Eyes, Grey Eyes

My mother once told me about the power of eye color. She said that brown-eyed people could look into your eyes, and you'd feel happy. She said that green-eyed people make you feel upset. She also said that people with blue and grey eyes hold the most power, because they made you feel as though your soul was being searched. That's exactly how I felt when he looked at me.

His grey eyes penetrated all my thoughts, and made me feel like he knew everything about me.

That's why I wanted to get rid of my brown eyes.

When I looked at Draco, and he looked at me like that, like he was seaching me, trying to find something he didn't already know about. I would avoid his gaze, and he would put his fingers on my chin, pushing upwards and say, "Hermione, look at me."

But I couldn't. I knew that if I looked at him like that one more time my whole existance would simply burst into a million peices and he'd know everything about me. I didn't want that.

"I can't Draco."

"Why not?"

"I can't explain it. I already tried to tell you before but you didn't believe me."

"I can't believe that my eyes make you want to take your gaze away from me."

I looked up with unshed tears in my eyes, trying not to cry. I wanted him to believe me because I loved him, I did. I wished I could look into his eyes without that penetrating stare coming back at me.

"I can't explain it right. Talk to my mother."

"I've never met your mother, Hermione."

"And if you hadn't called me 'Mudblood' so many times before, you might have already met her."

"I already told you about that."

"I know."

We sat together, intertwined in each others arms, for hours like that up in the astronomy tower. We were Head Boy and Girl now, so even if Filch caught us we wouldn't get in trouble.

I wanted to tell Harry, but I couldn't. To put this relationship on his shoulders would be unbearable. I was his best friend. His already tortured mind couldn't take much more. Not with Ron dead.

Ginny hadn't told him, thank God. She walked in on Draco and I in a broom cupboard a few weeks back. We had been snogging and I made her swear not to tell him, even though they were so close. I knew it tortured her soul as well, not being able to tell her future husband. He was already so upset, replaying Ron's death in his head.

We sat together for hours, not saying a word, simply thinking. This was my realtionship with the guy I loved, who used to be my worst enemy. But he had changed.

"Hermione?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Mm?"

"Will you look at me?"

I looked into his eyes, and felt that soul searching gaze penetrate my defenses once again. I did not shift my glance. He kissed me, gently, and I felt so happy when he did that I knew I had to tell Harry.

"I have to go, Draco."

"Why?"

"I have to go tell Harry."

"Is that what you were thinking about?"

"I thought you already knew."

He kissed me again, and I felt warmth spread throughout my entire body. That happiness, I knew, would have to become part of Harry's life. He had Ginny, sure, but I didn't know if he loved her. He missed Ron too much. You can't have love while hoping to have somone else.

I pulled away and instantly regretted it.

"I have to go tell Harry."

"You already said that love."

"I know."

I turned from him, whispered a goodbye that I doubt he heard, and went speeding down the stairs. I saw Filch, but didn't get detention because I was Head Girl. Thank God for that.

I ran all the way to the Gryffindor common room and saw Harry in there, alone.

"Harry," I said, breathlessly.

"Hermione."

"I need to tell you something."

"What?" He looked so scared. Maybe afraid of more bad news. But then, this was bad news to him.

"I," I almost couldn't get the courage to do it, but then I took a deep breath and went on, "I've been dating someone."

"Who, Hermione?"

"Draco. Draco Malfoy," I said that and waited for an outburst from him, but he just looked shocked.

He began stuttering, "I-I can't believe you d-didn't tell me, Hemione!"

"I couldn't. I was afraid of what you might say. What you might think. But tonight, I was so happy there with him that I had to tell you. Harry you've had so many dissappointments in your life and you need someone to love. Not just Ginny. I don't think you love her."

"I loved you, Hermione."

We sat there in silence for a few seconds.

"And Ron did too," He continued. I burst into tears, all dignity forgotten, all happiness gone. But Ron was dead. I had to forget him. He had been my best friend, my joy, my love of life. Him and Harry. Although I never dated either one of them, I knew that I loved them with a certian bond that could never be broken. I thought it had been broken, but it hadn't. Harry was upset too.

"No, please, don't say those things! Ron is dead. Please don't talk about his love."

I ran up to my dorm and colapsed.

He followed me. He had been here many times before with Ginny.

All my roommates were on dates. We were alone. He leaned over to kiss me, and I knew that this wasn't right. I was happy. Not my happy when I'm with Draco, but happy because my best friend knew me so well, and comforted me, even when he was the one who needed it.

It was all over in an instant.

~+~+~+~+~

I knew right then that something was wrong. She had said something about my eyes a moment before, but then, abrubtly, she left. She said she was going to tell Harry.

But she had told me she was never going to tell him. At least, not until we were out of Hogwarts.

He wanted her, I knew that. I knew, so I followed. I don't know why, maybe it was my growning sense of unease. I stopped in the middle of the hallway, suddenly thinking that all of a sudden, my grey eyes wern't what she needed. I had thought that she loved him as a brother, nothing more. I guess not.

~+~+~+~+~

I followed her to her dorm. I knew it wasn't right, but I kissed her anyway. She had tears straming down her face.

My god, she was beautiful. She had grown since the summer of Ron's death. She seemed haunted. We all did. Ginny, her, Percy, Fred, George, Bill, Charlie and I. We had all witnessed it. That one fateful day last summer when Voldemort had come to the Burrow.

We didn't know why, but for some reason, he killed him.

Not anyone else. Not even a scratch on the rest of the family. Just Ron. He had killed him because he knew the people closest to my heart. He had seen my memories of him and Hemione. Last year. He had looked into my soul, picked out one closest to my heart, and killed him. He could have killed me, but no, he wanted to deepen the already too large crevace in my heart.

We greved for days, weeks, months. We tried to get over it, but the Weasleys, Hermione and I had never quite gotten past those last words out of Ron's mouth.

"I could have made it."

I repeated the line to myself so many times it seemed imprinted on my brain. What he could have made it to, no one knows exactly. He was poised to be better than his brothers, so maybe that was it. We'll never know.

I kissed her with all of that on my heart, and on hers too, and then I pulled away, because she had stopped crying.

~+~+~+~+~

I stopped crying. Harry's kiss was expected, of course, but I wasn't sure what to make of it. He stopped the kiss, and suddenly I wanted more, but didn't give into temptation.

"No! Harry, you can't love me! You have to love Ginny," I added weakly.

"I love you Hermione."

"No you don't. She loves you back. If you love me all you'll have is horrible upsets in your life. You don't need that."

"No, Hermione. I love you and Ginny on different levels. I'll always love you, even if you do decide to marry Malfoy, or whatever."

"I don't know what will happen, Harry."

"I don't want to see you marry him, Hermione. Your too good for him."

I looked deeply into his emerald eyes, and I felt so sad. Like I was bearing all the weight on his shoulders on my own.

"I can't do this, Harry."

I turned away, and I felt his emerald gaze follow me.

~+~+~+~+~

I had loved her until that one moment. I don't know why, but it was a strange feeling. Not loving her. She pulled away, and left the dorm, walking awkwardly. I didn't know where she was going except I knew that it had to do with Malfoy.

I sat there for a long time. Waiting for her to come back. She never did. I sat there on her bed, waiting for the girl I loved to come back, even though I knew she wouldn't. Not come back to me, anyway.

I stood up. My knees were hurting because I had been sitting in one position for hours. I walked out of her dorm. Down to the empty common room, knowing she'd have to come back sometime.

~+~+~+~+~

She came to me then. I was still waiting in the astronomy tower, because I knew she'd come back. And she did. Only a half hour later, she was back, with tears streaming down her face. I hadn't seen her so upset sense she'd gotten her first detention with me in 5^th year. How strange. I didn't think Potter would make her this upset.

"What's wrong, Hermione?"

"Draco," she began a sentence she never finished.

"What is it?"

"He kissed me. And told me he loved me. And Ron."

"But Ron's dead, sweetie."

"I know," this simple statement brought on a fresh wave of tears.

"Try not to think about it."

She was still crying, but I kissed her forehead anyway. Her crying slowed.

~+~+~+~+~