In Vino Veritas

In Vino Veritas

by

Aloysius

Remus came all the way awake in less than a second, feet to the floor and wand in his hand before he was even fully aware. Then he froze, tense and alert, listening. A clattering noise came from down the hallway; there was someone in his flat. Standing up slowly, Remus padded barefoot to his bedroom door and opened it slowly. Wand raised, Stunning Spell on his lips, he edged out into the corridor and crept along it, eyes straining against the darkness. His Order training had taken over, cutting off the fear that had spiked at his realisation of the intruder, and he was ready to do battle against whatever foul creature he might be forced to confront.

As he approached the origin of the noise, another crash sounded, followed by a slurred, "Bugger!"

All of Remus' senses relaxed, and he slumped against the wall with a long-suffering sigh.

"Just what I needed," he muttered to himself, "Sirius Black, drunk in my kitchen."

He took another few steps forward and leaned against the doorjamb, taking in the scene. Nearly all the cupboard doors were open and several cooking utensils were scattered over the counters and floor. He finally spotted Sirius on his knees, head and shoulders hidden inside the cupboard under the sink.

"Something I can help you with, Padfoot?" Remus said lightly.

Sirius started, and there was a satisfying crack and curse as he hit his head, presumably on the u-bend. Then he extricated himself slowly from the cupboard, turning and collapsing back against one of the other units. He squinted up at Remus in confusion.

"Where the devil have you hidden the firewhiskey, Moony?" he demanded, his tone reproachful.

Remus crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at his friend in disgust. "I haven't hidden it anywhere. You drank it all last time you turned up here in the middle of the night. I neglected to buy any more because I'm not prepared to fund your drinking habit - I can't afford it and, besides, it seems clear to me that you've had more than enough already."

"You're a hard man, Remus Lupin," Sirius accused, with a lopsided smile.

"No," Remus corrected, stepping around the scattered utensils to stand directly over the slumped wizard, "just a concerned friend."

He held out a hand and heaved Sirius to his feet. Sirius collapsed against him immediately, evidently not up to supporting his own weight, so Remus carefully manoeuvred him backwards into one of the chairs around the kitchen table. He then turned to the sink and filled a jug with water before setting it down in front of Sirius with a glass, and taking a seat himself.

"So," he said forcefully, "are you going to tell me what's the matter?"

Sirius focused on the jug and laboriously poured himself a glass of water. He managed to spill a fair amount onto the table, mopping it up with the sleeve of his robes before lifting the glass with both hands and draining it in one go. Then he set the glass back down with exaggerated care and finally met Remus' steady gaze.

"If you must know," he said, "I had a date with Mariella Fortescue."

Remus groaned inwardly. The very last thing he wanted to do was listen to Sirius moan about his love life. Sirius had gone out with a whole string of young witches in the last few months, seemingly having fun for a while with one before moving on to the next, never allowing any of the acquaintances to develop into anything serious. He had gained quite a reputation for serial dating and there was strong competition among the young single witches as to who might be the one to finally persuade him to settle down.

Amidst it all, Remus had remained the one steadfast presence in Sirius' life, endlessly patient, selflessly supportive, and desperately, hopelessly in love. Every new conquest described intensified the ache in his heart, and yet he pasted an expression of polite interest on his face and queried, "Didn't go well, then?"

"That's just the thing," Sirius all but wailed. "It went fine. She's attractive, smart, funny, plenty of spirit, and she seems to think I'm marvellous - everything I'm looking for in a potential partner."

"Potential partner?" Remus repeated in astonishment. "I thought you were just playing the field, having some fun..." A whole new scenario of Sirius with a serious girlfriend presented itself in his mind, and he began to feel slightly sick.

"No, Moony," Sirius told him quietly. "I want what James has - the whole package. I just haven't come close to finding it so far."

"And now you think you have..." Remus was confused as to why this had led to Sirius delving underneath his sink for alcohol, not to mention the fact that his own brain was panicking at the thought of losing his best friend to marriage.

But Sirius said, "That's just the point - Mariella's perfect, and several of the others have been too. I just don't love her and I don't think I ever could."

"Why not?" Remus was having trouble following this.

"I don't know!" Sirius cried. "There's nothing wrong with her, so I guess there must be something wrong with me. Apparently, I'm incapable of loving - so I thought I'd drink a little."

Remus reached out instinctively and placed his hand on Sirius' arm. "Don't be silly, Pads," he said softly. "Of course you're capable of loving - you're one of the most open-hearted and giving people I know."

Sirius snorted derisively. "I'm a self-absorbed, arrogant bastard, and you know it."

"To some people, maybe," Remus continued gently. "I just happen to be one of the lucky ones who's seen a different side to you."

"Oh, really?" Sirius said with exaggerated sarcasm. "And just what is it I've done to make you think I can be so different?"

Remus sighed, suddenly wishing he was drunk too. "Well, let's see. When you found out I was a werewolf, you didn't turn away from me. Instead, you spend three years researching difficult and dangerous magic in secret and at considerable risk, so you could join me in animal form once a month. You protected my secret all that time and long afterwards. You put up with my pre-transformation mood swings and entertained me with tales of your escapades with James when I was stuck in the hospital wing after a particularly rough full moon. You actually took notes in the lessons I missed and helped me catch up the work afterwards. You helped me find a flat I could afford after we left school, and loaned me money with no conditions when I needed it." He paused, holding Sirius' gaze steadily. "Need I go on?"

Sirius stared at him. "But that was all obvious," he said. "That was all for you."

At these words, Remus felt a shiver of fearful apprehension. He didn't trust himself to speak so he just sat silently, looking at his friend, trying not to think about where this conversation might be heading.

Sirius, on the other hand, seemed to be thinking really hard. Remus could practically see the cogs moving round in his alcohol-soaked brain. When his eyes suddenly widened, Remus steeled himself for whatever whiskey-induced revelation Sirius was about to impart.

"Remus!" he exclaimed. "I love *you*!"

Remus reflexively closed his eyes at the sound of the words he had longed for years to hear. He reminded himself forcefully that Sirius had probably drunk enough already that night to float a barge and most likely had very little idea what he was saying.

"Yes, Sirius," he replied in that patient tone people use with children and drunkards. "I know. I love you too."

But Sirius' face was alight with amazement. "No, no, no!" he enthused, leaning forwards eagerly. "You don't understand! I *love* you!"

Remus couldn't take his gaze any more so he pushed his chair back decisively and rose from the table. He started picking up the scattered utensils and jamming them back into the cupboards. The next thing he knew, there was a rustling of robes behind him and Sirius grabbed him, spun him round and pinned him up against the wall.

"You're not listening to me," Sirius hissed, his face an inch from Remus' own, so that Remus could smell the alcohol on his breath. "I'm telling you that I love you."

Remus pushed him roughly away, sending Sirius spinning crazily into the edge of the table, where he managed to catch himself.

"And I'm telling you," he said firmly, "that I'm not prepared to discuss this when you can't even stand up straight. Go home, Sirius, get some sleep and see how you feel in the morning."

Sirius looked so crestfallen at this, that it took all of Remus' willpower not to cross the room and take him in his arms. But he remained where he was, practically glaring across at his friend in his frustration.

When a couple of minutes passed and Sirius didn't move, Remus repeated, "Go home, Sirius."

Sirius blinked, as if coming out of some kind of trance, and then, without a word, stalked out of the kitchen and to the front door. As soon as he heard it shut, Remus staggered over to the table, placing his head in his hands. He wasn't surprised to find that he was shaking.

* * * * *

The following morning, Remus awoke with the memory of Sirius' words and actions still fresh in his mind. Part of him pointed out that he could have been waking up with Sirius in his bed, but the majority voice shouted that down. If he had given in to Sirius' advances the night before, he might actually have woken up minus a best friend when Sirius sobered up and realised what had happened. This way, at worst, Sirius would suffer some embarrassment that Remus could shrug off and, at best, Sirius might not remember the incident at all. Either way, things would continue on much as they had done before, which was as much as Remus could hope for, really.

He got up and went through his usual morning routine, washing and dressing before heading to work. His latest job was at a local library - it wasn't the most fascinating job, but he'd managed to get through three full moons without being fired and he wasn't about to bite the hand that fed him; not deliberately, anyway. Today, though, he found himself preoccupied by thoughts of Sirius standing so close to him and proclaiming that he loved him. It was the stuff of many a fantasy, and difficult to shift, and it annoyed Remus no end that he couldn't forget about it.

At the end of the day, he trudged home in a state of despondence, and nearly tripped right over Sirius, who was sitting on the floor outside his front door.

Remus' first thought was that he must have been drinking again. But Sirius rose smoothly to his feet and met Remus' gaze with clear and sober eyes.

"About last night..." Sirius began.

Unwilling to listen to Sirius expounding on how it had all been a mistake, Remus interrupted him immediately. "Just forget about it," he urged. "There's no need to apologise or explain, it's really not a problem, honestly."

Sirius let him finish, then reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want to forget about it," he said, "and I'm not here to apologise. Last night, you told me you didn't want to discuss how I feel about you when I couldn't even stand up straight." He spread his arms to demonstrate that he was in fact standing up straight. "Are you willing to discuss it now?"

Remus' heart was pounding as he opened the door and ushered Sirius inside. After closing the door behind them, he turned to discover that Sirius had not continued into the flat, but was standing right in front of him, an intent expression on his face. When Sirius started to lean forwards, Remus brought a hand up to hold him back.

"This isn't a one-time thing for me," he warned. "I've wanted this for years, but I'd rather not have it at all, than have it once and never again."

Sirius sighed. "Didn't you listen to anything I said last night?" he asked, his voice soft. "I'm not looking for a casual fling. I want the whole package, and I've got that in you."

He shifted forwards but Remus stopped him again.

"And I don't want you to do this just because you feel sorry for me," Remus continued.

"Why on earth would I feel sorry for you - you're the luckiest man in the world!" Sirius exclaimed. At Remus' baffled expression, he spread his hands and grinned smugly. "You've got me!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "I'm beginning to wonder what I've let myself in for," he muttered, then shrugged. "Oh well, what the hell..."

And then he finally let Sirius kiss him.

THE END