Rain

Rain

Skies were grey that rainy day
We parted in the lane;
Was it tears that fell or was it rain?

***

They stood outside in the rain. Harry had been looking down, down at the hard concrete under his feet ever since he'd told Draco. Now he lifted his gaze to Draco's eyes and wondered if Draco was crying. It was impossible to tell with all the rain pouring down around them. But he saw the feeling in Draco's eyes; the pain and the vulnerability was shining clearly from them. It was very hard to see anything else in the darkness, where the only light was a streetlamp not far away. But somehow it made it all easier, this way ... because Harry knew that if he would be able to see Draco's features more clearly, if the silver hair, the strong arms and the soft lips would catch his gaze, he would never be able to leave. It was hard enough when he could see those silver eyes, filled with pain and sorrow. It hurt so much that he looked the other way. He turned his gaze towards the streetlamp instead. Draco's voice was low, and Harry wondered if it was filled with tears. The rain was making it impossible to hear and he didn't want to know. He didn't want to know.

"So... You're leaving." It wasn't a question, because of course he was leaving. They both knew that he had to.

"I have to."

"I know, but..." Draco's voice cracked a little and Harry wondered; is he really crying? Is he really crying over me?

"Draco, we've talked about this." He meant for his voice to be soft, but it wasn't. It was sharp and it cut through the rain like a knife of steel. For a moment Harry thought that the rain had stopped and left only silence behind it. Then Draco lifted his head and smiled a sad little smile. How much would he have liked to kiss that mouth right now?

"I know, Harry, of course I know. It's just that..." He sighed and Harry knew, of course he knew what Draco was talking about. He had the sudden urge to take Draco in his arms and kiss him, kiss him so deeply that they would become one with the rain falling all around them. He didn't. He didn't kiss him because he knew that if he did, he would never be able to leave. Instead he smiled and lifted his hand to Draco's face. He tucked a strand of soaking wet silver hair behind Draco's ear, but instead of taking his hand back, as he had planned to do, he lingered at the softness of Draco's cheek, slowly letting his fingers trace over it. Draco closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. After a while he turned his head and kissed Harry's palm. Harry let his fingers continue to Draco's lips, tracing, touching. Memorising. Draco opened his eyes and held his gaze and Harry found himself drowning. Drowning, just as all the rain that fell around them had gathered there, into two wells of silver.

He felt a hitch in his breath as he, like so many times before, was lost in those amazing eyes. With an effort, he tore his glance from Draco's, quickly turned around and walked away. He didn't look back, and Draco didn't call his name.

***

Listen to each drop of rain

Whispering secrets in rain

Frantically searching for someone to hear

That story be more than it hides

Please don't let go

Can't we stay for a while?

It's just to hard to say goodbye

Listen to the rain

***

He sat by the window and looked out at the world of water outside. The rain that started to fall the night Harry left had continued to fall for the six weeks he had been gone. It seemed impossible that so much water could fall from the sky, but it had. The world was soaking wet, and somehow Draco liked it. He liked to sit by the window and watch the strange water world on the other side of the glass. Six weeks, and not a single word from Harry. He sighed and pressed his forehead against the cool glass. The world outside was green and blue and grey. It shifted, just as the colours in his heart did. He looked up as a sound from outside woke him from his dreams. It was Pansy. He was sure that it was Pansy. Pansy or Hermione, or maybe even Ron. Ever since Harry left he had been on his own, quiet and reserved. They wanted to know if he was all right. Of course. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? He didn't want their pity. Somebody called his name, but he ignored it. He turned his attention to the window again, aware of the irritating sound of people running in staircases outside. When the running was followed by someone banging at his door he snapped, "Fine, I'm coming!" and leaved the window. He walked across the room and opened the door.

***

It was so simple. In the end it was all so simple. He just had to say the words, whisper the killing curse, and Voldemort was dead. Seven years of hatred, nightmares and death, and yet, when he stood bent over his enemy's dead body, he felt nothing. No anger, no hatred. Nothing. And all he wanted to do was to go home.

So many hours of researching, of practicing and hiding in dark, abandoned places, and when it came down to it, it was just two small words. He felt drained. Drained and empty, because his whole life he had been fighting against this man, this force, and now it was gone and he didn't know what to do. There was nothing left. Just as he thought that, one word came into his mind. One word that was more important than everything else, that shined through the darkness like a golden arrow. Draco. His face lit up in a smile as he lay down on the soft grass and fell asleep, one word still clear in his mind. Draco.

***

When he first woke up he didn't remember where he was. It was early in the morning, he laid in the green soft grass, and he was soaking wet. Then he remembered everything. Voldemort. The name didn't bring up the anger as it used to. It was just an empty word, and it meant nothing to him. Draco. He smiled a little and got up. Of course it hadn't stopped raining, but he didn't mind. In fact, the rain reminded him of their last meeting, their good-bye. I can't wait to see him again. He started to walk, and the rain continued to fall.

***

When he arrived at Hogwarts it was late. The world was dark around him and the rain was the only sound. He stopped for a while to listen to it, and then he opened the big door and walked into the hall. It was strangely quiet around him and for a moment he felt a sharp stab of panic in his chest. Then he remembered. Of course, it was Friday. They always had their meetings at Fridays. Now there would be no more meetings. No more tears, no more death, no more glances from worried eyes. He walked to the old classroom where they used to be. It was quiet around him and he wondered briefly why he couldn't hear their voices. He pushed the door open and walked inside.

They were there, just as he had imagined them to be, but something was wrong. Something was terribly, terribly wrong. Nobody looked at him; nobody even seemed to notice that he was there. They were all quiet and the silence was heavy around them. Eventually Hermione raised her head, and he felt his heart beating faster because she had been crying. He looked at the pale, silent faces and suddenly he wanted to scream. He didn't. Instead he just whispered, "What's happened?"

At first, nobody answered him, but then Hermione started to talk. Her voice was hollow and it sent shivers down his spine.

"There was an attack. There were so many of them, and we couldn't handle it. And... we lost..."

"Who?" Once again, Harry felt the panic risen, this time stronger. "Who, Hermione?"

Hermione's voice sounded even hollower as she started counting up the names of the dead. "Seamus. Ernie. Ginny." For the first time Harry noticed that Ron was sitting far away, in the corner of the room. His face was buried in his arms, and his body was shaking with silent sobs. Luna was there, too. She had her arm around him.

Harry turned his gaze to Hermione again, as she continued.

"Pansy. Colin and Dennis. Professor Flitwick. Professor McGonagall." My God, will it never stop!? "Padma." Parvati's face was white and expressionless, and she sat alone and stared into the space.

"Who were the attackers?" His voice was harsh, and suddenly he just felt like walking out from the room and forgetting everything he had heard.

"Death Eaters. Lucius Malfoy was their leader." For the first time, Hermione's voice cracked a little. "Harry, I'm so sorry... Draco."

"What? What about Draco?" Panic, panic, rising in his chest, strangling him. He couldn't breathe.

"They killed him."

They killed him. The words echoed empty in his mind. For a moment he just stared at Hermione in utter disbelief.

"No." His voice was just a whisper. "No."

Hermione nodded slowly, tears welling in her eyes.

"I don't believe you. I don't believe you, you're lying."

"Harry, please..."

"I don't believe you." He wanted to scream, but his voice was barely a whisper.

Hermione started to say something, but he interrupted her.

"Where is he?"

"Harry..."

"Where is he? I have to see him."

"No, Harry."

"I said, where is he?!"

Hermione swallowed hard, and then whispered, "He's in his room. They killed him in his own room."

Without a word, he turned and walked out from the room.

He ran all the way down to the Slytherin dungeons. Once he came to Draco's room he slammed the door open and then stopped dead in his tracks. Draco was lying on the floor, his eyes staring empty in space. Harry ran forward and fell down on his knees beside his body. He took Draco's body in his arms, and it was cold, it was so cold. What have they done to you? He took Draco's face in his hands and looked into his eyes. What once had been stormy-grey eyes, alive and filled with emotion was now empty, dead stones. The emotion was gone forever and the person that had once lived in those silver eyes had flied somewhere far away. The pain in his chest seemed to be tearing him apart, like a hole of darkness, eating him from deep inside. His trembling fingers touched Draco's lips, just as he had done so long ago, that time in the rain. His lips were cold, so cold. Harry laid his head on Draco's shoulder and cried, violent sobs shaking his whole body. Outside the rain continued to fall.

***

I stand alone in the storm

Suddenly sweet words they know

Hurry they say for you haven't much time

Open your eyes to the love around you

You may feel you're alone

But I'm here still with you

You can do what you dream

Just remember to listen to the rain