Reminisce

I found him sitting in the armchair in front of the common room fire.

"Harry! I can't believe you're up here and not in the library!" I cried. "You know that McGonagall has a test planned for sometime this week! What if it turns out to be tomorrow?! And where is Ron?"

Harry turned to me. The shadows across his face made him look almost...ghostly, and his expression did nothing to assuage the effect.

"I was just...sitting for a moment," he said softly. I looked at him again and immediately felt horrible for intruding on his private time. He had been like this since last year, I gathered that from the replies he sent to my letters. I had owled him every other day at least, I knew how bad it was for him not being able to go 10 feet from the Dursley's home, so I tried as best I could to make it a little easier for him. I had sent him countless chocolate frogs (he'd informed me that the Dursleys were still conforming to that awful diet), Quidditch books I'd rented from a wizarding library I'd found not far from our house, even (I know this is horrible) homework I'd done during the holidays and thought he'd like to read over. But from the letters I was getting back, I knew nothing I was doing was helping in the slightest...if I got a letter at all, that is. He'd been so short with both Ron and I over the holiday. We were getting one-sentence responses to our several-parchment letters, and, to make it worse, we still didn't have news for him about the war. Which, I'd assume, was the news he wanted the most...

Things had been better since the start of term, though. Harry was slowly regaining his interest in a lot of things he used to love. He was even talking about starting up the D.A. again, since Dumbledore was Headmaster again and didn't at all mind having students learn some extra spells. With Umbridge gone, a lot of things had changed. Harry returned to his full self once Dumbledore re-placed him on the Quidditch team (Ginny became a Chaser instead, taking Angelina's place) and even made him captain. He was so happy, for a few short days...then the darkness re-settled within him and he was back to brooding, sulking, and ignoring Ron and I. He was getting better. But every now and then, he'd disappear for a while and come back looking weary, alone, and kind of...haunted. Like he did now.

"I don't know where Ron is. Practicing Quidditch, maybe?" He turned away from me and stared into the fire again. "What are you doing up here, anyway?" He smiled. "You yell at me for not studying, but it doesn't look like you're doing much of it yourself. Does that mean I get to yell at you?" He looked over his shoulder and grinned.

"Of course not. I only came up here because I forgot my History of Magic book. I'm not a hypocrite." I couldn't help grinning back, though.

Harry looked confused. "I thought you were studying for Transfiguration..."

I sighed. "Yes, but wizards did not just realize they could transfigure things. It's been around a while. Hence the history book."

"Let me guess. 'You would know this if you paid attention in class once in a while.'" He laughed.

I love it when Harry laughs. It's so rare nowadays, and it lights up his face and just for a minute, you'd think he was the old Harry Potter, the one before the war, before Sirius was killed. The Harry that used to laugh when Ron and I bickered instead of yell at us and then sulk in a corner with self-pity. The one that would go to Hogsmeade and buy Nose-Biting Teacups and Sugar Quills with the rest of us instead of denying himself that privilege because he felt he didn't deserve it. The one that would spend long hours with Ron and I in the library, mostly goofing off but still working, entertaining all three of us with ridiculous answers for Divination homework, instead of sit in front of the fire alone while the world went on around him, not even caring.

I realized how petty everything had been up until now. The stupid fights, everyday worries, even Snape and Malfoy. They didn't matter at all now. It was all so trivial...and I realized how much I'd taken for granted before everything was ruined. I'd give anything for just one day where Harry and Ron played chess at the common room table, laughing about Malfoy's latest lame attempt to sabotage us, while I did homework and snapped at them to do the same. Just one day where we were normal again, or as normal as we could be.

"Why are you staring at me?" Harry narrowed his eyes, confused.

"I'm not staring at you. I was going through the five Eye Illusion incantations in my head. Opaquea, Iridescio, Sunerio, Rougio, and Oceano."

"What are those?"

I almost sighed again. Hermione, give him some credit. I decided to explain, no matter how much I wanted to reprimand him for not paying attention to McGonagall's lectures.

"Opaquea and Iridescio, when you cast them on your eyes, make everything very dark or very light, respectively. Opaquea is good when you are in very bright sunlight, and Iridescio is good at night. Of course, there are better charms that do the same thing with better results, but those two go along with the color charms, Sunerio, which makes everything more yellow-toned, Rougio, red tones, and Oceano, blue tones. They actually change the shape and light-sensors in your eye to see those shades, which is why they're taught in Transfiguration, not Charms. The color charms are good for--"

"I get it. I think I actually heard that part of the lecture, anyway." He got up slowly. "I think I'm going to go to bed." With a last look at me, he turned and started to head up the stairs to the boy's dormitory.

I couldn't stand it.

"Harry, wait!"

I ran to him and hugged him tightly. He seemed surprised, but then caught me off guard by hugging me back. I closed my eyes and buried my head in his neck, forcing myself not to cry. I couldn't help the tears from flowing after a while.

We stood for at least five minutes, just holding each other. I think I was trying to tell him I understood, even though I really didn't, and I think he was trying to tell me it was going to be okay. I didn't know if he really understood what had been going on in my head tonight, but he hugged me nonetheless.

I watched as he made his way to the dorm. He didn't look back. I smiled as I turned to look at the armchair he'd been sitting in, then went to get my book.