The Upper Hand

"You sure you´re up to this?"

"Yes."

"You won´t be disappointed."

"I know."

Lucius clapped Severus on the back as Severus finished his task. Severus held back a curse as he jerked forward with the contact, almost dumping far too much of his powdered gryphon claw solution into the crystal clear mixture. He settled himself by glaring furiously at Lucius when the boy turned his blonde head away.

He stirred the solution in hastily, wanting it to bond with the other magical ingredients before it lost it´s temperature. When he was so lost in this kind of work, it was easy to forget just what it was for. That´s what Severus loved about working with Lucius...most of the potions he was asked to make required so much concentration that he didn´t have to think about why he was here, stirring and dumping and mixing with Lucius instead of with Charity.

Charity...Severus used the anger that thought gave him and mixed more ferociously, his eyes glittering. Got bored. Moved on. Well, he´d see about that soon enough.

Of course, brewing up Veritaserum in a dark corner of the Slytherin common room with stolen ingredients and a questionable recipe wouldn´t merit the same results as actually buying the stuff. But they couldn´t do that, as you had to have a license from the Ministry to purchase it, and it was very hard to come by.

Severus stopped stirring, setting his tools aside and waiting for the concoction to cool. This was his first "real" project from Lucius. They were going to let him witness the results of this potion, and Severus couldn´t wait.

Charity couldn´t care enough to entrust Severus with her secrets, even when he had shared his whole story...his whole life with her without hesitation. He had every right to know what she was hiding, and he planned to get it out of her. Even if he was forced to take desperate measures.

"Finished!" he said as the steam from the Veritaserum dissipated before his eyes. He pulled off his goggles and grinned at Lucius. "It´s ready as soon as you are."

Lucius´s eyes were alight with excitement, burning as he bent over Severus´s miniature cauldron and peered inside.

"Evan," he said after a moment. Evan Rosier, a burly sixth year with auburn hair, looked up from the group of huddled Slytherins waiting at the corner table. "Come here."

Without saying a word, Rosier got up and walked over to the cauldron. Lucius nodded to Severus, and Severus ladled a small amount of the Veritaserum into a phial, which Lucius took from him and handed to Rosier.

"Drink that."

Rosier eyed it nervously, glancing up at Severus and Lucius. Then he gulped, threw his head back, dumped the potion down, and gulped again. When he tipped his head back down, his eyes were completely vacant and unblinking.

"Evan, what do you think of Severus here?"

Severus opened his mouth indignantly, but Lucius shushed him.

"I think he´s really smart," said Rosier, and Severus smirked. "But he seriously needs a haircut and a nose job." Severus´s face instantly twisted into a sour expression.

"I´d say it works!" laughed Lucius, clapping Severus on the back again.

"And he´s got a nice ass, too."

They both froze and stared back at Rosier, along with the entire table behind them, but the vacant glaze was gone from his eyes, and he was grinning. Severus´s shoulders slumped in relief.

"Well it doesn´t last very long, does it?" continued Rosier, scratching his chin. "I guess we´ll just have to give bigger doses of this stuff."

"We can worry about that when we get there," said Severus dismissively.

"All right," said Lucius in a formal tone. "Crabbe, Goyle, and...Rosier, you come too. The rest of you, stay here. We´ll be back shortly."

They walked quietly up from the dungeons, Severus in the lead, Lucius behind him, smirking largely and carrying the cauldron. Crabbe, Goyle, and Rosier flanked him on either side and behind.

Halfway up the winding staircases of the North Tower was an enormous tapestry stretching up along the wall, seeming to disappear into the distance with the winding staircase. Severus gestured the group of Slytherins to hang back, and they waited.

The Ravenclaw tower was an invisible tower that ran alongside the North tower, connected by this portal.

Eventually, they heard footsteps, and a couple of chattering third year girls with Ravenclaw badges emerged onto the staircase. They walked right past Lucius, Crabbe, Goyle, and Rosier without even noticing them. As they approached the tapestry, Severus cleared his throat and stepped out from the shadows. They both jumped and squeaked before turning slightly red and staring nervously up at him.

"Hi," said Severus, mustering up the sweetest voice he could. They both blushed deeper. "Do you know Charity Meisner?"

"Yes," said the girl on the left, awkwardly twirling a curl of sandy hair around her finger. "She´s one of the Ravenclaw prefects, right? The one with the dark brown hair?"

Somewhere deep inside him, Severus felt a pang as he pictured Charity. He quickly put it away and smiled down at the two girls.

"That´s right," he said. "Could you go check if she´s in there for me? If she is, will you please tell her that Severus has something for her out here."

He knew, of course, that she´d be in there. It was after supper, and Severus hadn´t been able to find her after supper for three weeks. She had to be in there.

"Okay!" chorused the girls, before muttering an incoherent password at the tapestry. It split in two, pulling away from a small, circular door in the wall, which the girls crawled through.

As soon as the door closed, the tapestry fell back into one piece. Moments later, it split again, and Severus felt a rush of adrenaline shake him. Here she came...

Behind him, he heard Crabbe and Goyle move clumsily forward. The circular door slowly creaked open. Charity pulled herself through, looking down at the floor. Severus tried not to let her gaunt appearance shock him.

Her hair was tangled and matted, hanging loosely over her shoulders. There were hollows in her cheeks, and her skin had a pale sheen that was nearly reflective.

As she closed the door behind her and looked up, Crabbe and Goyle seized her arms.

"What--!" she cried, staring in disbelief at Severus as they bound her hands behind her back.

"You´re going to come for a little walk with us, Meisner," sneered Lucius coldly from behind him. Severus avoided looking at her eyes. Now that the moment was upon him, he found it slightly harder to deal with.

They dragged her a ways up the staircase, halfway between the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room and the Divination room. Since classes were over for the evening, no one would come this far up the staircase. No one would find them.

Crabbe and Goyle held her against the wall. She stared from one face to the next, looking terrified.

"What are you doing? What do you want?"

"We just want to ask you a few questions, Charity," Severus forced himself to say coldly, and her dark eyes stared straight into his before he could guard himself against it. Those eyes...just like his mother´s...a beautiful girl locked inside a closet for too long...trapped...

Lucius noticed his hesitation and elbowed him impatiently. Severus blinked, his expression clearing as Lucius handed him the cauldron. Severus labeled half a goblet full of the Veritaserum before giving the cauldron back to Lucius. Rosier stepped forward, pointing his wand square between Charity´s eyes.

"Drink it." Severus ordered, pressing the goblet against her lips. She glanced down at the goblet, recognizing the potion inside it, and then stared defiantly at him, not moving. Rosier glanced at Severus, his grip on his wand tightening.

"Drink it. Now."

"Why don´t you try asking me what you want to know without the potion first?" she said in a soft, venomous voice that Severus wasn´t prepared for at all. So unlike her...

"All right then," Severus growled, lowering the goblet. He stepped closer to her so that their faces were only inches apart. He forced himself to stare hard into those eyes until he´d numbed himself against them.

"Go on," she whispered almost incoherently, her mouth falling in a hard line.

"What are you hiding?" Severus hissed lowly at her. She finally flinched at the sound of his voice, and he smiled, relieved that he could force this kind of reaction out of her. He repeated himself.

"Nothing," she said determinedly.

"Let´s try again," Severus snarled. "What are you hiding?"

"Nothing!"

"I´m going to give you one more chance," He said, moving his face still closer to hers. "What are you hiding from me?"

Quite suddenly, her lower lip fell from its firm line, trembling.

"I can´t tell you."

"Why?" snapped Severus, almost forgetting the group of Slytherins huddled around him in his frustration. This was what he really wanted to know. What she was hiding didn´t matter to him as much as why she felt she shouldn´t tell him.

"Because I don´t want to..." she glanced at Crabbe and Goyle to either side of her before looking back at Severus with intense sorrow and anger written all over her face. "...hurt you."

He blinked. Not at all the answer he was expecting. Hurt him? She didn´t want to hurt him? Didn´t she realize that not telling him was hurting Severus more than anything she could ever say? But he was hurting her.... Suddenly a wave of guilt crashed over him, making the hand holding the goblet shake violently.

"Let her go," he said tonelessly.

"WHAT?" hissed Lucius. "No! Don´t let her go! Severus, what do you think you´re playing at?!"

Severus turned around and dumped the contents of the goblet back into the cauldron Lucius was holding. "Let her go," he repeated. "Use this for whatever you want, but I don´t need it for her."

Lucius gaped at him, looking furious. "After all that trouble we went to-"

"Let her go!" Severus snarled, pulling out his wand. "I don´t care who you use that potion on, Lucius. I made your potion; go use it. Just leave."

Lucius eyed Severus´s wand resentfully, before snapping his fingers at Crabbe and Goyle. "Come on," he snapped sulkily. Crabbe and Goyle let Charity go, not bothering to undo the bonds that tied her wrists together behind her back, and she slumped to the floor. They both glared at Severus as they passed him. Rosier lowered his wand, narrowing his eyes at Severus. Lucius shook his head at Severus.

"It won´t last, Severus," he muttered under his breath. "She´s a mudblood!"

Then they all tramped away down the staircase, leaving Severus standing alone before Charity, the empty goblet still shaking in one hand, his wand in the other. He squatted next to Charity, but she refused to look at him.

He shakily set down the goblet, pushing her back forward slightly and performing a severing charm on her bonds. He couldn´t help but notice how she tensed when he touched her. Once her wrists were free, Charity placed them on her lap and stared stubbornly at them.

He just looked at her for a moment, before croaking, "I´m sorry" in a voice most unlike his own.

She didn´t respond; just pushed herself up off of the floor into a standing position. Severus slowly rose after her.

"I was angry," he continued huskily.

Finally, she looked up at him.

"I´m leaving tomorrow," she said emotionlessly and abruptly. "I suppose I should say goodbye."

He stared at her. "What do you mean you´re leaving?"

"I mean," she said in that cold, quiet voice, "I´m leaving school. Tomorrow. I have my bags packed and everything."

"You´re dropping out?" he asked, stunned.

"Dumbledore says I can finish my required courses by owl," she said. "But I´m not sure I want to. All I know is that I´m leaving for the rest of the year. Going home."

"Why?" Severus breathed. She shook her head, looking away from him, but when she responded, her voice quavered slightly.

"I´m not telling you."

There was a long pause.

"Thanks for being my friend," she added sharply, making that wave of guilt cascade down over Severus again. He blinked several times and reached out a shaking hand, watching her flinch as he tilted her chin up to look at him.

He just wanted her to forgive him, to make her stop hating him, to make her stop fearing him the way she suddenly did. Without thinking, he leaned down to brush his lips against hers, realizing how much he needed her to stay.

Their lips touched for a fraction of a second, his hand still softly at her chin, his other resting lightly on her arm. He felt the coldness of her mouth and suddenly felt more guilt, seeking to fix it by deepening the kiss. Then she jerked away from him so violently that she fell back against the wall, and tears began to stream down her cheeks from those eyes...those eyes...

His arms fell limply to his sides.

"Goodbye," she whispered, choking on the word, and stumbled away from him down the staircase in a terrified rush.

He sank down on the cold steps, staring slackly into the dark staircase where she had disappeared.

Then, after an unknown amount of time just sitting and staring unblinkingly, Severus let his head drop down into his hands, and sobbed.