Snape's Heart

Chapter Seventeen

(Julia's Madness)

Halfway down the road Julia pulled back from Severus. He stopped and looked at her. "Julia, we have to leave."

"No!" she replied, coldly. She looked at him as if her were her enemy. "You have to leave."

The power of the crystal rose was still affecting her. He didn't know how long it would last but he had to get her back to Dumbledore. They couldn't use the portkey again until they were outside the charms field that Voldemort had set up around the manor.

"Love, you need to come with me. You aren't safe here," he pleaded. He searched her face for some sign. Something that would help him make her understand.

"No!" she said, again. "You are the one who is not safe here."

She then turned to walk back. Severus grabbed her by the arm, and as if she had expected him to do it, she turned and punched him across the face. He stepped back, clutching his sore jaw and looking at her with hurt eyes. She turned to leave again. This time he tried to grab both of her arms at once. He completely misjudged her. She heard his robes rustling and as he went for her biceps, she grabbed his forearms and pulled him over her head, slamming him to the ground. He had no idea that she was still that strong, being six months pregnant.

"So, this is how it's gonna be, Sevvie," she sneered. Stepping back from him and grabbing her wand.

He quickly stood up and tried to walk past her. "I will not fight you, Julia."

She spun on her right foot and slammed the left into his back. He fell again, sprawled face first onto the ground. "Too late for that now, isn't it?"

"Julia, listen to me. That rose that Voldemort gave you, something was wrong with it. It's bringing out your darkness," he tried to explain, pulling himself up off the ground.

"Damn it, Severus. You made me leave my rose at the manor," she said, completely ignoring what he was saying. She started to head back again.

As a last ditch effort he pulled out his wand. "Forgive me, love. Petrificus Totalus." Julia had a familiar sensation of her body going stiff, limbs slamming together. Severus grabbed her and carried her to the area just outside of the charms range. Just before they touched the portkey he pointed his wand at her and said, "Finite Incantatum."

Before she could fight he slammed her hand on the old cigarette pack and they were pulled back through the vortex to Dumbledore's office.

As soon as Julia got her wits about her, she turned and punched Severus in the jaw again. She then picked up the pack of cigs and shook it. "I wanna go back," she whined. "They need me, they worship me." She turned to leave the office, thinking that she could walk to Hogsmeade and disapparate from there. When she reached the door she couldn't open it.

"Damn it, old man! Let me out!" she shouted. She began to pace.

Dumbledore walked out of his sitting room. He looked at Severus, still rubbing his jaw, and Julia, walking around like a caged tiger. "Looks like it was an eventful evening," he commented, raising his eyebrows for emphasis. "Julia dear, come and sit down. Have some pumpkin juice."

"I don't want to sit down," she shouted, pacing back and forth. "I want to go back, I need to go back. I left my rose."

Dumbledore looked questioningly to Severus, who just closed his eyes and shook his head.

"My rose, my pretty rose. Voldemort gave me a gift, not Narcissa...bitch. Stupid Severus, made me leave it behind," she muttered, madly. "Won't let me have any fun. Voldemort lets me have fun, kill, I kill." She paused, looking around the room at the paintings. She began again, "Wanted to watch the anatomy lesson...bang Malfoy, stupid ass, stupid Severus." She stopped and looked at them both frantically, "They're my friends, and they'll kill you all."

"Severus, we need Minerva and Poppy," he motioned to the door when Julia's back was turned.

"Sir, I don't think you should be alone with her," he protested. He knew she was dangerous and strong.

"Severus!" he said more sternly and nodded toward the door again.

This time Snape only lowered his head and left the room. Julia, noticing that he had just left, ran to the door, but it was already locked again.

"Let me out! You can't keep me here. He will find me. I am his pet!" she screamed. Then pulling out her wand she threatened, "You will make me another portkey, and you will let me go. If not, I will be forced to hurt you, old man." She looked at him as if she did not recognize him.

"Julia," Albus said, calmly, taking a seat behind his desk. "It seems that you have been cursed. I may have an idea of what curse it is, but I need you to be calm and come with us to the hospital. This curse has brought out in you a side of yourself that I know you hate."

She only glared at him. "I don't hate this. I love this. This is truly me."

Dumbledore continued, "And what of the baby? Do you think she could thrive on your hate? Do you think she would be raised the right way?"

"Severus can have her. I don't need to be tied down," she spat. "Why would I want a child?"

"Julia, the baby needs you," he began, but was interrupted by the tapping at the door. Before she could react, Severus returned with the two witches. They looked at Julia with deep concern in their eyes, watching her pace back and forth.

"Baby? I don't want a baby. Can't be free, need to leave," she was ranting again. "Lucius hates Severus, he needs me. I can kill again. Again, I will be feared."

McGonagall quickly rushed Madam Pomfrey over to Dumbledore's desk. "What is wrong with her Albus? She sounds quite mad."

"Minerva, I think that Voldemort has cast a spell on her." He turned to Severus, "I do not believe it was the crystal rose you spoke of. I have seen this mania before." Then turning to Madam Pomfrey, "Poppy, we need to sedate her and get her to St. Mungo's."

At that Julia stopped and looked at them with venom in her eyes. "You will not come near me," she cocked her head, a crazed smile creeping onto her face. "Unless...do you wanna to die?"

Severus tried to walk up to her, slowly, as if she were a rabid dog. "Julia, dear, you need to calm down. Please...let me help you." He reached for her arm. She swiftly drew out her knife. He quickly drew his arm back.

"C'mon Sevvie, do you think you can still brew potions with only one hand?" she taunted as she half-heartedly swung the knife at him. As she focused on Severus she had her back to Dumbledore. The old man already had his wand out and swiftly cried, "Stupefy!"

Julia, fell forward into Severus' arms. Swiftly, he scooped her up, "Sir, I need a portkey."

Dumbledore pulled out an old pair of broken glasses and again waved his wand, "Portus!" Then, turning to McGonagall he said, "I leave you in charge, Minerva. Take care of my school." He then gave her a weak smile. "Severus?" He looked at the pale man and they both nodded. Again, forcing Julia's hand, they all touched the broken glasses and after a rush of color and light, they stood in the lobby of St. Mungo's.

"She needs help. NOW!" Severus yelled, getting the attention of everyone in the room.

* * *

Julia started to wake up, she could see harsh light and it hurt her eyes. Everything was too bright, and her head hurt. She tried to sit up, but her hands and feet were restrained. She was alone in a room she did not recognize. She couldn't remember anything and she had no idea where she was. Her mind raced, I'm dead. I'm in hell. This cannot be real. SEVERUS!

She looked down at her body, the soft bulge of the baby was still there, though, it seemed slightly bigger. She tried to call out for help, but her throat was dry and sore and she could only muster a few raspy cries. She put her head back down and cried. Tears streamed down her face and into her ears. She closed her eyes, praying that this would end and she would either wake up, or not exist.

The door open, and a strange witch entered. She looked at Julia and noticed the tears. She leaned out the door and yelled, "Call Dumbledore, she's awake." Then going over to Julia she touched her face and tried to comfort her. "It's okay sweetheart. You're going to be fine. You don't have to cry. Your husband only just left a few minutes ago. He went to get something to eat. He never leaves you for too long."

Julia slowly opened her eyes. She looked at the caring face of the woman. She tried to talk again, only in a whisper. "Severus? He's here? What happened?"

"You rest, dear. He'll explain everything to you," she replied, quietly buzzing about the room, checking Julia's statistics. She then added, "Very loyal, that man is, never left your side in almost six weeks. Cried himself to sleep, a lot, he did."

Julia's mind was spinning, six weeks! She asked, "Why am I tied?"

"Oh, my dear, you tried to hurt a lot of people," she said, nonchalantly. "We thought it would be best if you were restrained. Scared the wits out of a young volunteer, grabbed her by her hair and threatened to feed her to someone called Nagini. Actually, I'm the only one who would come to check you after awhile," she admitted. She then cocked her head, quizzically and asked, "You truly don't remember a thing, do you?"

As Julia was about to shake her head, the door burst open and Severus rushed over to her. "You're awake. Thank, Merlin." She could see relief in his face, but there was also something else.

"Severus, what happened? Why am I here?" She couldn't take it any longer and she started to sob. "Untie me and take me home."

He only looked at her, sad and conflicted. "Love, I cannot. Not until Dumbledore sees you."

"What happened? Please tell me, I don't understand." She was hysterical.

"I promised to wait..." he was interrupted by Dumbledore's entrance.

"Oh, my sweet dear, you have finally decided to rejoin us," he smiled at her, blue eyes not revealing anything. "Now, Severus, please excuse us for a few minutes. I need to speak with my niece." Severus looked over at the Headmaster and nodded knowingly. He leaned over and kissed Julia's forehead and then quickly left the room.

Dumbledore slowly walked over to the side of her bed, taking out his wand he made an ornate and overstuffed chair appear. He sat down and looked at Julia, again with those sparkling eyes.

"Julia, you had been cursed by Voldemort, at the Death Eaters' meeting. Do you remember that night at all?" he asked her calmly. He studied her face, as if forcing the memory to come.

She closed her eyes, trying to remember. Images, brief and not coherent began to return to her, sitting in front of the fire in her room, black clothes, a field, Malfoy's face.

She looked at her Great Grand Uncle, "I remember feeling sick, when we entered the manor. I thought it was from the portkey."

"That does make me feel better. You have been treated for the right curse. I had believed it to be the Janus curse. You see, Janus was the Roman God of gates and doors, opening and closing. He wore two faces, much like us. We are just able to hide the faces that we find undesirable. This curse allows the face we hide, to be seen." He sat quietly, allowing her to ponder his words.

She closed her eyes again, memories coming back. Tears again began to flow. "I was an animal," she whispered. She felt sickened by her actions.

He nodded, "My dear, it wasn't your fault. The spell shut the door on your light, allowing your darkness to take over. I know that is not who you really are. I have watched you grow up, I have seen what good you are capable of, and that was not you."

His words didn't help. She remembered calling him names, she remembered kissing Malfoy, and worse she remembered hitting her husband. The things she had said and had done were burning her from the inside. "I wanted to kill you, and Severus. I could have, I would have..." she broke off. She lowered her head and asked, solemnly, "Could I say goodbye to Severus before I leave?"

"Where are you going?" he looked at her, quite confused.

"I can't stay, I need to be where I won't hurt the people I love," she said, through her sobs.

Dumbledore reached over and tapped his wand onto the bindings that were holding her right wrist. Simultaneously, all her bindings disappeared. "You will not be hurting anyone, at least not on our side of the line."

She blinked at him through her tears, "I'm not going to hurt anyone? Am I cured?"

"Yes, I remembered seeing this same curse the first time Voldemort was causing trouble. I knew how to treat it, but you needed to be restrained. We are not equipped for such things at Hogwarts." He smiled at her, reaching out to take her hand.

This revelation caused even more tears to spill down her cheeks. "Has the baby been okay?"

"Oh, yes. She has been growing nicely. Very strong baby, she kicked a midwife and made the poor woman jump," he said, attempting to make her smile.

"Uncle Albus," she said softly, remembering the horrible things she said, "I love you."

"I know you do, and I love you, my dear. I never forgot. That was the last thing you said to me as you left," he replied, patting her hand. Tears were beginning to form behind his eyes. He stood up, trying to recover, and said, "Let me go get Severus. You both need each other at the moment."

Dumbledore stood and walked over to the door, he turned back to smile at Julia. "Have faith in yourself. He loves you and is so devoted to you. Don't be afraid to lean on him." He then left the room. Again, Julia stared up at the ceiling of the hospital room, mulling over her thoughts. Severus entered a few minutes later; quietly, he walked over to the bed and again, kissed her on the head.

She turned to look him in the eyes. She misinterpreted his sorrow for pain and looked away. How could she look in to his face and not remember what pain she had caused him. The horrible things she had said and had done. How could she ever expect him to forgive her? She was a dangerous person, she knew that. She also knew that if she hurt him again, it would kill her. At that moment, the relays in her brain clicked, and she just simply stopped.

He touched her face, gently tracing her mouth. He wanted to kiss her, but he was too afraid of pushing her fragile state. He just wanted to see her smile. To hear another sarcastic comment come out of her mouth, or even some obscure reference to Muggle popular culture. She wouldn't even look at him. His heart hurt, he just wanted something. She wasn't even crying.

He placed both of his hands on her stomach. The baby rolled a bit and then settled down. He could tell that the baby was getting bigger, she would be here soon.

He looked back at his wife, "Julia, the healers say that she is going to be a big baby." She gave him no emotion. He tried to quell the rush of panic. She was not unconscious, only non-reactive. She rolled over onto her side, facing him, but not looking at him.

He once again tried to talk to her. "Are you hungry? I think I can sneak some chocolates up here."

Nothing.

"Julia, talk to me. Say anything. Tell me what you are feeling. Merlin, please, Julia say something." His voice was getting louder. Dumbledore came back into the room at the sound of panic in Severus' voice.

"What is wrong, Severus?" he asked, calmly. "Is she well?"

"Sir, she won't respond," he replied, panicked. "Stay with her, I'm going to get a healer." He swiftly left the room.

Dumbledore leaned into his niece's face and whispered, "Julia, do not drown in your pain. We won't give up on you. We will be waiting right here. Come back to us soon." He kissed her cheek, in the same manner that she had always kissed his. She closed her eyes, in response.