Snape's Heart

Chapter Nine

(Complications of Life)

A week had gone by and Julia was out of bed and back to working out, without the loud music, but with a very concerned Sir Nicholas sitting in the corner watching. She needed time alone, for the past week everyone had visited her and tried to make her feel better. She didn't really like all the over-protectiveness. She wasn't a child; she just made a stupid mistake and let her guard down. The only proof of the attack was the yellowing bruise that was left on her right jaw. She still winced when Severus bumped her accidentally when he kissed her. The thing that hurt her most was that he continued to blame himself.

"Good show, Miss Lee," Nearly Headless Nick cheered as she rounded on her left foot and kicked the bag with her right forcing it to swing up and hit the wall.

She turned and bowed. "Thank you, I'm done for the day, Sir Nicholas, I am going to clean up. Would you mind letting Severus know."

"Not a problem." He smiled and floated out of the room.

She hated using the ghost as her personal messenger service, but until this matter could be taken care of, she was never left alone for long. She headed up to her chamber and began to gather her things to take a shower. She could hear Severus enter the class and start toward the stairs that lead to her chamber. He let himself into the room. She looked out of the bedroom and smiled at him. His eyes still looked pained. She couldn't wait for this bruise to finally fade so he would stop looking at her like that.

"Hey, big boy, wanna take a shower with me?" she said flirtingly. "I may need some help reaching that little spot on my back that you love to kiss."

He smiled at her and quietly followed her into her private bathroom. They disappeared for an hour and when the water turned cold they continued their fun in the bedroom. They were supposed to setting up their lesson plans for when the students returned, but sometimes things just come up.

* * *

They had just finished getting dressed and were planning on visiting the Great Hall to get something to eat, when there was a knock at the door.

"It's open," Julia called, zipping up her hoody. Severus gave her a glare that said that she should be more cautious. She glared back at him with a smile on her face and replied, "Bad guys don't knock."

"I am sorry ta bother yer Julia, but Dumbledore wants ta see yer," Hagrid said as he entered the room. "He says Professor Snape should be there, too."

"We'll be right there Hagrid, thank you for getting us," she said, smiling at the giant. He too winced at the bruises.

* * *

Dumbledore sat at his desk rereading a letter that had been owled to him over the summer. It read:

June 21, 1997

Dear Great Grand Uncle Albus,

I hope all is well with you. I have heard you had quite an adventure this past year. Well, so have I. That's what I am writing to you about.

I need help, and you are the only person I can turn to. You now that I have followed into the family business. Maybe, I have been too successful. I was hired to go after a group of Ishler demons that were terrorizing the locals. So I go and slaughter the lot, like a good Bounty Hunter. Well my informant, someone I have trusted for many years, had taken a payoff and lied to me. I ended up slaughtering a group of Ishler-e'tai, the spiritual sect, they were peaceful. They didn't even know what hit them.

Turns out the town didn't like the sight of them. This group of so-called educated wizards paid to have them murdered. Fortunately I wasn't charged. They called it reckless misfortune. I call it: the Judge was one of the people who wanted them dead. I was forced to promise that I would never speak of the incident. Obviously, I am breaking that promise.

I can't do this any longer. , I tried to talk to Dad, but he has been so out of it since Mom died. He is useless. I don't know what to do. You are my only hope.

Please Uncle Albus, please help me find a new direction with my life. I can't keep on killing like this because I think I enjoy it too much.

Desperately,

Julia

He folded up the parchment and placed it in his desk. He thought to himself, maybe his idea of a 'new direction' may have been a mistake. Maybe she should never have left her father. He had made a lot of mistakes lately. Maybe Julia needed to get away from all this pain. But in his heart he knew he couldn't protect her from pain any more than he could protect Harry Potter.

* * *

When Julia and Severus entered his office, Dumbledore ushered them into his sitting room. Once settled, he turned to Julia. "I have some news for you, and it is rather unpleasant. Your father has taken a turn for the worse. He had apparently gone out to visit your Mother's grave and he never came home. They found him there with his arms around the tombstone. He died from exposure." There were tears in his eyes.

"No, he would have owled me," she replied, panic thickening her voice. "I told him that if he got lonely to send me an owl and I would come help him. Why wouldn't he have?" she looked at Dumbledore, wanting him to answer. "Why would he just let himself die?" she asked, knowing the answers already. She sat quietly, thinking, not quite believing, "I...I need to go. I need t-to go to New York t-to take care of things. I-I need..." She broke down.

Severus put his arm around her and tried to comfort her. She put her face in his shoulder and wept.

"I have already made arrangements for you to leave immediately. Severus may join you," Dumbledore offered.

"No," she said, straightening up, wiping the tears from her face. "I'll go alone. Severus is needed here. I won't be gone for long." And before anyone could protest she got up and left to get her things.

"Sir, she shouldn't be alone, please persuade her to let me go." Severus tried, but even he knew it was futile. She had her mind set and would not change it. She would be safe in New York. He needed to be here.

"Go see her off Severus. We will be okay with out her and she will be back soon enough," Dumbledore stated with warmth in his voice.

Severus got up to leave, but grabbed his left arm as a searing pain ran through it. "The Mark," he cried, looking at Albus. "He calls."

"Then you must go, too. Be safe Severus, and do not be foolish," Dumbledore pleaded.

He left and headed straight for Julia's chamber to say goodbye. He decided he would not tell her that he too is leaving, but he needed to kiss her; to tell her that he loved her. When he reached her room she was gone, a spray of floo powder on the floor.

* * *

Sometimes life heals the open wounds of our souls with unexpected surprises. Sometimes these surprises only complicate the problem. Or add to the fear.

When Julia returned from New York the day before the students were to return to Hogwarts, she headed straight to Dumbledore's office.

"My dear, I have missed you these last few days. Are you well?" he asked her.

"I have felt better, but Dad's happy now, right? He's with Mom," she began. She could feel the tears burning her eyes. "That is what he wanted. He was lost and now he is with her again."

Dumbledore stood and walked over to her and hugged her tightly. She placed her head on his shoulder and let him embrace her. "I have known your Father all his life and he was never truly happy unless your Mother was by his side. I am happy for him, and jealous that I myself have never found such a love."

"Thank you for letting me leave on such short notice. This has definitely not been the best Christmas holiday I've ever had. I think I should go tell Severus that I am back. I missed him," she said, trying to look strong.

"Severus had to leave minutes after you left and has yet to return. He has contacted me to assure us that he is alright. He was questioned by Voldemort for Malfoy's black eye," he told her, his voice serene.

"Do you think he will be back soon? Voldemort wouldn't risk him being found out, would he?" she asked, her voice taking on a maniacal tone. "I need to talk to him. Something has happened and he needs to know."

"Dear, do you want to tell me something too?" he inquired, his eyes piercing hers.

She hesitated, knowing the powers her 'uncle' had over the mind. She cleared her thoughts and replied, "I need to talk to Severus first. I'm sorry Great Grand Uncle, but soon. I'll tell you soon."

He could see the pain in her eyes. He hated that he could not end that pain. He could not help but feel guilty. She has had a lot of pain in the past few weeks.

She leaned close and hugged him tight and whispered in his ear, "Don't worry. I think it is a good thing." She smiled and turned to leave. As a second thought she added, "You have known my family for four generations, right? You may be around for the fifth."

Before he could reply she had already shut the door behind her. He reflected on her words, the twinkle returned to his eyes. Smiling, he thought to himself, Severus is definitely a lucky man.

* * *

Julia was in her room unpacking the few things that she wanted to keep that had belonged to her father. She wept softly as she opened his 'Hunting' kit and carefully looked at all the weapons, remembering when he taught her how to use them, reliving the moments she had.

Behind her she heard soft footsteps coming up the stairs. She smiled softly, recognizing them immediately. As soon as the door opened she turned and rushed the person entering.

"You're back," she cried and hugged him tightly, tears still streaming down her face. Severus pulled away a bit as if in pain. "What did they do to you?" she asked as she began to pull at his shirt. His chest was battered and bruised and there were two new wounds to add to his scars.

"Is this because of me? Those bastards, what did they do?" She began to cry again.

"I'm fine," he replied, fixing his shirt. "They were testing my loyalty, to see that I was only in love and not siding with Dumbledore."

"Ya needed ta be tested? As if it were unthinkable for you ta be in love for reasons other than being loyal ta Dumbledore. C'mere and lay down," she said.

He mused to himself that her accent always got a little thicker when she was upset. He let her lead him to the bed. She unbuttoned his shirt again and then she disappeared to get some rags and water. When she returned she leaned in and kissed him. "I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. My mind wasn't with me that day, and I have spent this entire time missing you." She began to tend his wounds, wanting to tell him her secret but weighing her words. She did not want him to hate her, but this did complicate things. He was hurt defending his love for her; next he will be hurt protecting their secret.

"Don't apologize, I understand. Were you able to take care of everything?" he asked, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Yes, my uncle will sell the house and I have an inheritance that I need to claim," she paused, "I just miss him. I spoke with Albus and we agree that he is happy again. To be with his wife, ya know." Her eyes began to well up again.

"Was that his?" he asked, nodding to the leather bag full of weapons.

"Yeah," she laughed softly, "he called it his 'Hunting' kit. Funny though, how he fought all those demons and it was love that really killed him. It is ironically beautiful, don't ya think?"

He sat up and took her in his arms. "Will you love me like that? I know that if something happened to you I would die. When I came into your class and saw you on the floor with Malfoy over you like that I thought you were already dead and my heart screamed. The thought of you gone, I couldn't even breathe. I only reacted when I heard you cry out after he hit..." he stopped. It was too painful to relive those thoughts.

"I have thought about you so much while I was away," she explained, "I thought of what I would do if something happened to you. I don't want to think about it ever again, I know that I would die just like my father."

She held him tightly as he stroked her hair, gently rocking her. He stopped and looked into her eyes. "Marry me. You can think about it, but please do consider it. I...I can't believe the changes that you have made in me. I never thought I could love anyone," he pleaded, then jokingly added, "I mildly dislike myself."

"I...really? You really want to marry me? I mean, we really have only known each other for a few months, and I not complaining. I just never...really?" she stammered, then stopped to collect her thoughts. "Severus Snape, you are such a jerk! You have made me miserable since the first day I walked into this castle. Then you made me love you. Then you got me pregnant. Now you want to marry me?" she smiled. "Yes...yes I will marry you."

"You will?" He hugged her tightly again and kissed her deeply. His mind reflected on what she had just said. Suddenly he stopped and looked at her, "I got you pregnant? How? When?"

"You are thick sometimes," she smiled. "Well, probably on the first night that we were together. You fertile bastard! Considering we have only been active for about two weeks. Do you really need me to answer how? I just found out yesterday. I just didn't feel right and my aunt is a witch, but works as a Muggle midwife. She saw the signs right away and gave me a test. That is why my uncle is taking care of the house for me. I needed to see you."

He reached down and placed his hand on her stomach, unbelieving and still in shock. "My child, you are going to have my child?" he smiled at her. He could not believe the joy that this woman has given him. But in the back of his head all he could think of was that Malfoy had beaten her and his child. Anger simmered under the surface but he refused to let her see. "I can't even begin to explain the love that I feel for you."

She poked him in the chest and he winced a bit. "I love you too, Lumpy."