Forbidden Lore

Forbidden Lore

Chapter seven

Now, precious reader, granted that you are still with me this far into the tale (and, for those that are, I have nothing but the greatest admiration for you), I wish to tell you that the saga of this part of my life, no matter how it seems, is far from over. The moment I landed in Professor Snape's office was not the end, but rather the beginning of the end. As someone once said, "to every end there is a beginning and after every ending things begin anew, this is the beginning of the end". That is where we are now, the beginning of the end. So, please, if you think you can handle more of the insanity that was my life, continue. As I said, I would so like for you to finish.

Moving on, when I awoke I was in the hospital wing and my mind was really quite fuzzy. Incidentally, so was my vision. And my throat felt raw and sore. And my limbs felt like lead. I blinked several times in an attempt to clear my vision, it worked, somewhat.

Voices reached my ears then, all of them talking at once. I groaned inaudibly, longing to return to the bliss of unconsciousness.

"Headmaster," that was Snape, "I think there's something wrong with Raven, collapsing like that is not healthy,"

"What about where she's been for the past ten days?" Hermione interjected, her voice a full octave higher than normal, "we need to find out what happened!"

"That's not important right now!" Snape snapped furiously, "what's important is that we find out what's wrong with her. We can find out where she's been later!"

"She's ill!" to my intense surprise, that was the voice of Draco Malfoy, "she's ill and you people are not doing a damn thing about it! My god, I don't even like her and I want her to get help. It's not right for us all to sit here arguing while she suffers from god only knows what!"

"Draco's right!" Harry this time, "she's sick, probably in pain, we need to figure out what's wrong with her, then you can argue to your hearts' content."

"Now," Dumbledore spoke up, sounding graver than usual, "this could be nothing more than a bad case of exhaustion, we need to figure out what's going on before we lose our heads."

They all came into the room then, Snape, Dumbledore, Harry, Draco, Ron, and Hermione. I narrowed my eyes and forced my body to relax as they came in, as to appear asleep. It worked, apparently, as no one said anything to me. Actually, they didn't say anything to anyone else for a couple of minutes either.

"Look at her," Ron whispered finally, "she looks awful,"

I almost retorted, but then remembered that I was supposedly cataleptic. So I forced myself to remain still.

"Well," Draco said, "we really ought to wake her up, ask her what happened. Maybe that will help us understand what happened." He folded his arms across his chest as he spoke.

"Perhaps," Snape said, obviously lost in thought, "yes, I think that that is what we should do." He looked at the others, "shall I do it?"

Dumbledore nodded and Snape walked over to me. Upon drawing near, he reached to shake my shoulder, and then gasped slightly.

"You little imp!" he said, "You've been awake the entire time we've been in here, haven't you?"

I smiled weakly, "it's conceivable," I whispered, "who can say? I sure as hell won't."

"Raven!" Harry, Ron, and Hermione said at the same time. Draco and I took one look at each other and started laughing.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"You three sounded so funny!" Draco gasped, "but it was a tad frightening, so, please, don't do that again."

Snape glared at them, Dumbledore simply stood there, off to the side, watching the events with that hopeless twinkle ever present in his eyes.

"Can we at least attempt to stay on topic?" Snape asked sharply.

I spoke up, "Before any of you ask, I'm not completely sure as to what happened to me and I really don't want to talk about it right now."

"All right, Raven," Hermione said gently, "how are you feeling?"

"My head hurts like hell, my limbs feel like lead, my throat's sore, and my vision seems bent on swimming out of focus every 10 seconds. So, yes, I feel fine, thanks."

They overlooked the sarcasm, "Why are you in so much pain, do you know?"

"I don't know, there was a strange smell in the air, and then I left. I haven't the foggiest idea what it was, it just came."

"What kind of smell?" Professor Dumbledore asked.

"It was...pungent. Strong, rather vile smelling, I've never smelled anything like it before. It made me gag, if that helps at all."

"Hmmm," he said absently, "Severus, what do you think?"

"It could have been any number of things, there are several potions that create a smell that fits that description. Raven isn't exactly being specific."

"What is it with people and talking about me as though I'm not in the room?" I said irritably, to no one in particular.

They all froze and looked at me in surprise, I felt my lips twitch slightly in an attempted smile. It didn't turn into a real smile, however, the pain of my ordeal with my "family" was still too fresh.

"So, Raven," Ron said in a bold attempt at exchanging pleasantries, "when do you think you'll be ready to come back to class? I could really use your help with potions, I'm just not understanding what we're doing."

"Yes," Hermione was quick to agree with him, "I'm not getting through to him, it would be nice if you could explain it."

I looked at them with a mixture of surprise and annoyance, than I said: "Stop it! Just stop it! You're all treating me like some kind of goddamn porcelain doll that will break if you don't handle it carefully enough! I am not fragile, nor am I weak, and I do not need to be coddled by any of you! So stop pretending that everything is right with the world, because it's not, it damn well is not, and I refuse to pretend that it is. Pretending will not make things any better for any of us, so I'd prefer to simply face reality and do the best I can."

Draco smiled and began clapping; after a second's hesitation, Harry joined him, smiling as well. The rest of the room, with the exception of myself, looked at them as though they'd gone mad. I smiled gratefully at them and felt world's better knowing that I wasn't the only one who thought that Hermione and Ron were being over the top with their caution.

"Well," Snape hesitated, I think he was searching for words, "I know you said you don't want to talk about it, but we really musty know. Where have you been for the past ten days?"

I groaned; I had been serious when I'd said I didn't want to talk about it. I really didn't want to talk about it. I tried again to dissuade them of the idea of getting my story.

"I really don't care to discuss it right now," I said firmly.

"I apologize, Raven, but we need to hear it now. Where you've been could help us determine what's wrong with you." Dumbledore spoke gently, but he left no room for argument.

I drew in my breath sharply, swallowing my fury at being commanded to talk. It was not in my nature to take orders from anyone, so, when someone tried to order me around, I reacted badly. But, in this case, I was too tired to fight them over it. So, drawing in another deep breath, I began to talk.

"I'm not entirely certain where I was, they never told me and I didn't recognize the landscape when I was given a chance to look out the windows." I paused, the memories of that place suddenly sharp and clear in my mind, "I don't know how I got there, nor do I know how long I was there."

"Nine days," Draco said softly, as unobtrusively as possible.

I glanced at him, "Thank you, nine days. Anyway, I believe whoever took me away from here drugged me, because I was unconscious for a length of time, though I couldn't tell you how long. When I woke up, I found myself in a small room with whitewashed walls," the room seemed to materialize around me as I spoke, every detail crystal clear.

"Then?" Dumbledore prompted.

I barely heard him, lost as I was in the memories of my ordeal. "I was alone, all alone, it was very quiet. I tried to get up and leave, but my head ached, it ached so very much, so I stayed on the pallet where I'd woken. Time began to have little meaning, my watch told me the date and time, but it really didn't mean much. I was trapped. Well, one day, I woke earlier than usual and found someone else in the room. It was a man, a tall, thin man. I spoke to him, but he didn't tell me anything.

"A couple of days later, I was taken out of the little room and led down a corridor. On the way, I was told that the man's name is Cyprus. I thought for certain that I was being taken to Voldemort," a collective shudder went through the room, I took no notice, "but I was wrong. We arrived at a door, and Cyprus had me go inside and then he left. There was another man in this room, a man I had never seen before. He told me that his name is Alexandros and that he's my father."

"Your father?" Ron interjected.

I looked at him in surprise; I'd forgotten that there were people in the room with me. After I'd begun talking, I'd been retelling the story to myself, not to the people hovering around me. Ron's sudden comment had shaken me from that feeling, snapping me back to reality. I glared at him in irritation, as much for shattering the illusion as for interrupting me. I was becoming very tired of being constantly interrupter mid-sentence, or, rather, mid-thought.

"Yes, my father, now, shut up and let me finish!"

He looked sufficiently abashed, so I continued.

"Her told me that he's my father. Yes, I have got one, just like everybody else; I just never met him until a few days ago. Anyway, we talked a little, than I passed out from shock. I woke in a large bedroom with black silk sheets and found that I was locked in with bars on the windows. Now, whether you know this or not, I get very...uneasy when I get locked in and I can see that I'm locked in. In this room, I could see that I was locked in and I didn't like it. Actually, I panicked.

"Well, he, my father, came after a few moments and her told me about my mother and why I had never been given a chance to know them. I was feeling better and getting used to the fact that I have a family, when god-only-knows-what happened."

"What?" Snape asked sharply.

"I don't know, that's why I said 'god-only-knows-what happened'. Stop interrupting me, please. I'm almost finished. As I was saying, something happened, my father ran from the room after snapping some sage advice at me and tossing me a bag of floo powder, and then I left. That's it."

They were watching me very closely, as though afraid that I would burst out sobbing at any moment. I wasn't going to, however, I was sick of tears and weakness. So, I refrained from weeping. It really wasn't that much of a struggle; I was beyond tears by that point. I did feel a bit guilty, though, I wasn't telling them everything and was painfully aware of the fact that I couldn't tell them the rest. I knew that they were not capable of understanding the rest of it. My true name was one of the things I didn't wish to tell them.

Without saying a word, Ron, Hermione, and Dumbledore suddenly walked out, leaving me with Draco, Harry, and Snape. I wondered if that had been pre-planned out, or if it had just happened.

"There's more to it than this, Raven," Snape said, "I can tell by the look in your eyes."

I sighed, and attempted to dodge the question, "I'm really, very tired, could you let me rest now?"

"You're avoiding the question, which leads me to believe that there is more to it."

Again I sighed, with exasperation this time, I really didn't want to discuss it. I still had a problem with allowing my personal life to be laid out for everyone to dissect at will.

"Raven," that was Harry, "we want to help you, but we can't if you shut us out,"

"Why won't anybody leave me alone?" I muttered, then, raising my voice I said, "I don't care to talk about it, can you just accept that and go away?"

I was fighting them and knew it, but I hadn't fought my father even though he deserved it more and I felt that I needed to make up for that lapse in judgment. So, some of the people I cared about and trusted were getting it in his stead. It wasn't a nice thing to do, I knew it then, I know it now, but I did it anyway, almost without thinking about it. Sixteen years of fighting everyone who came into contact with me had left residual damage that would take far more than a couple of months of kindness to get rid of.

"Raven," I was a bit surprised to hear Draco speak, his voice firm and unforgiving, "you can either fight with us or against us, I'd prefer for you to fight with us, but it's up to you. So, what will it be?"

I'm sure my eyebrows shot into my hairline after hearing that; I was always startled when people attempted to give me ultimatums. Let us say that I didn't know quite how to react to them; whether I should be angry or simply choose one and be done with it.

When I still didn't answer, Draco said impatiently, "Well? I'm waiting for your answer."

"Er," I hesitated then said, "I won't fight you anymore, all right?"

He nodded, apparently satisfied by the half-answer.

He's the one person who won't try to force me into swearing loyalty to a side. I realized with something akin to awe. Who would have thought that Draco Malfoy would be like that?

The reason he was like that was obvious to anyone who cared to see it; he had been part of one side for a long time, then he'd switched. I knew that, in a way, Draco was like me, neither dark nor light, but somewhere in between. I knew suddenly why Snape, Draco, and Harry had been the ones to stay; they were the ones who had the hardest time with the sides, the ones who, just as I, were gray.

"So, Raven," Harry said, "will you tell us what else happened?"

"I suppose so," I whispered, "I could. How much do you want to know?"

"Everything you're willing to tell." Snape said kindly. It never ceased to amaze me how kind the cold potions master could be when he chose to be.

I closed my eyes, taking a few steadying breaths before beginning.

"The things I am going to tell you must never leave this room. I know that sounds cliché, but I need all three of you to promise me that this will be completely confidential. Well, professor, you already promised that you wouldn't tell anyone anything that I say, so I just need you two to promise."

"I promise," they said in unison.

"Good, I'm going to choose to trust that promise, but mark my words, if you ever tell anyone, I will hunt you down and kill you with my bare hands. Are we clear?"

The two boys nodded, and then glanced at each other with raised eyebrows, as though saying 'what the hell'.

Finally, sure that my secrets would be kept, I started telling them the things that were nearest to my heart.

"Firstly, my father told me that my real name is Isis, Isis Demetria Petralona," at that, Snape gasped, his hand flying to cover his mouth.

"Isis Demetria Petralona?" he asked in shock, "You can't be, Isis is, she's, she's Demetria's daughter." He finished weakly.

"Yes, I am, I'm Demetria's daughter. I'm your niece."

My two friends (if you could call Draco that) gasped. I couldn't blame them; it was rather shocking to say the least. Snape, my uncle, looked thoughtful.

"It makes sense," he said, more to himself than to me, "you are so very much like her, more in personality than anything else, I should have seen it before."

"She's right, Professor," Draco told Snape, my uncle. I felt funny thinking of him as that, up until a few days previous, he'd been Snape, my potions professor, that's all. Now, he was my uncle. I resolved to continue calling him Snape in my head; it was a good way to keep me sane.

"Listen," I breathed then, cutting off any further discussion of my family, "do you hear it?" 'It' was a faint rumbling coming from somewhere within the castle.

"Yes," Harry whispered, "what is it?"

"I don't know; I don't like it." My whisper matched his.

Dumbledore burst back into the room at that point, followed by Ron and Hermione.

"Death Eaters!" he said sharply, "Storming the castle. We're readying ourselves for the fight. Severus, Harry, Draco, Raven, we need you. The final fight begins now."

In the sudden stillness, I whispered, "'Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more, or close the wall up with our English dead! In peace there's nothing so becomes a man As modest stillness and humility; But when the blast of war blows in our ears, Then imitate the action of the tiger: Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood.'"

We were gone before the sound had completely faded from the air.