Watching

Watching

Chapter 19

This chapter is from Snape's POV

This chapter is mostly flashbacks

May 31, 1980

"I want you to go back in time, Lillian," our Dark Master instructed my wife. "Go back and marry Potter. Have his child, and wait for me. I will come calling soon after the child is born."

"My Lord, please, not Potter," she asked, not daring to sound desperate. "Anyone but Potter..."

"It will be Potter, and if you dare disobey my order, I will kill, not you, but your daughter."

My anger flared. He wouldn't dare! Kill my daughter for my wife's disobedience? For the first time in my life, I questioned my reasoning. Was serving the Dark Lord really all that important? No, my family meant much more to me.

"You will use a Time-Turner," he continued. "You are still young enough that looking seventeen will take only a few charms. You have my permission to hide your Dark Mark, this is undercover after all, but if I call, you must answer. Defy me three times, understand?" she nodded. "I will be at your house in one year. Give him to me, and I will spare your life, and you will be free to return to my full service and your family."

No. No to him, no to his orders, no to tearing my family apart. How could he honestly expect us to give up everything so willingly? A lot can change in a year, how much would change in this one?

"You leave tomorrow."

"Yes, my Lord," she whispered, defeated. We alone could not win this fight, but together, with a little help, we could win the war.

That night we fought. How could she be doing this? Why was she so easily giving us up?

"Don't you understand, Severus?" she asked. "Don't you understand that if I don't do this, he'll kill all of us? Me. You. Athena. Hell, probably not even me! He'll make me suffer with your loss and the knowledge that I could have prevented your deaths."

"You cannot marry Potter, Lillian!"

"Would you rather I marry Black? Or how about Lupin? Would you honestly have me marry a werewolf?"

"I would rather you stayed."

"This will all be over in a year."

"It'll be more than a year to you. And who's to say that he doesn't kill you anyway?"

"What have you Seen?" she asked, suddenly afraid. I was a Seer after all, but this time, I knew nothing.

"I haven't Seen anything, Lil," I said giving her a kiss on her perfect cheek. "I swear to you, I have Seen nothing."

"Suddenly I'm afraid," she confessed. "Part of me feels that I will never see you again."

"You will see me again," I promised, holding her tightly.

"When? Where?"

"I don't know."

"I don't want to leave," she said, tears thickening her voice. I couldn't see her face, but I could picture her eyes closed as she blinked back tears. I could see her lips paling as she pursed them, also to stop the tears.

"Lillian," I said softly, looking down at her brilliantly red hair, "don't cry. There is no need to cry."

She pulled away from me and went to our sleeping baby. "Take care of her," she asked. "Whatever you do, don't let him touch her. And no matter what, she is not to become a Death Eater. Do you hear me?" she asked turning to me, fire in her eyes. "Don't you dare let him brand her. I will not have my child serve him."

"He will not touch her," I swore.

We spent our last night together in a way we had not in a long time...

* * * * *

"She didn't want me to become a Death Eater?" Athena asked in shock. "Then why did I?"

"You didn't have a choice," I answered softly. "He gave the order for all the children of his followers to become Death Eaters, or he'd kill all of us. And you wanted to. You wanted to become a Death Eater more than anything else in your life then."

* * * * *

June 14, 1980

I went to Dumbledore. I told him everything while under the influence of Veritaserum. I couldn't stand serving him any longer. I was sick of his orders. Though I was happy for the knowledge that my wife hadn't in fact been cheating on me for the last few years. It was torture hearing that she had been married to James Potter last year and then having her deny the whole thing when I saw the pictures and heard Potter boast about it in the Leaky Cauldron as I was passing through to go to the Apothecary.

"I will no longer serve a master who insists on tearing my family apart," I told him. "And now I do not know what to do."

"Would you consider working for me?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I don't see why not."

"Lillian will be most shocked," he said. "She hasn't been very happy these past years, though she puts up a fine façade. I am sure she will be overjoyed that you have come to us."

"Did you know?" I asked. "That she was a Death Eater?"

"No. In fact, your news is most shocking. I would never have expected this. She was Head Girl not three years ago, and now you tell me that I had not one, but two Lillians running around my school. I don't understand how this could have slipped by me."

"The second was only there for Potter. The younger, the one that was supposed to be there, did everything she had done the first time around. Or at least, I assume she had. I don't have any double memories or anything. An explanation, yes, but everything still feels right."

"Why doesn't she have a Dark Mark?" he asked.

"With permission, a Dark Mark can be concealed. The Dark Lord gave his permission that night so that she would have little trouble hiding her identity."

"I see," he said sadly. "So, is her child the one he is after?"

"Yes," I revealed. The Potter baby is due in July. When I think of her with him, it makes my blood boil. How could this possibly be? Was the mission so important?

"On Thursday, there is a meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. I am asking you to be there."

"Will she be there?" I asked, hiding the hope I felt.

"She will."

"I will as well then."

That Thursday I slipped into the meetinghouse with our daughter and searched for her. Was she here yet? Did she know I would be?

"Severus?" asked a shocked voice from behind me. I turned to see my pregnant wife whose child was not my own.

"Lillian," I smiled. She was here. It was really her.... I couldn't believe the sight before my eyes.

"Athena," she breathed, seeing our daughter for the first time in years. "Oh Merlin, Severus, what are you two doing here?"

"We came for you. I've switched sides, Lillian. I can't serve him any longer. Not after what he did to us."

"Neither can I," she revealed softly. "Not after he threatened her."

I handed over our two-month-old daughter and watched her as she smiled brightly.

"Lil--What are you doing here, Snivellus?" Potter asked turning the corner.

"Talking to your wife, if that's alright," I replied coldly. I hated saying that. She wasn't his wife, she was mine.

"No, it's not alright," he answered. "Look, I don't know how you found this place or how you even got in, but a Death Eater like you needs to stay the hell away from me and my family."

Lillian handed our daughter back to me. "James, he wasn't hurting anyone, leave him be."

"Who's child have you stolen?" Potter demanded.

"I have stolen no child, Potter," I answered. "I could find no sitter for the day."

"You mean to tell me that she's yours?" he laughed.

"She is indeed," I replied, my attention turned to the child in question. She opened her brilliant green eyes and smiled. Then she turned her attention to Lillian and held out her arms. She wanted her mother, and she knew exactly who that person was. Lillian took her and they both looked at me. The same eyes. The exact same eyes. The same face, the same everything, except hair color. Athena had the blackest hair I have ever seen on any person. I knew then, that it would be dangerous to bring her to any more Order of the Phoenix meetings. I could not risk our secret, should anyone notice their eyes.

"Who's her mother?" Potter asked, looking more closely at my daughter. She started to cry, from his nearness, causing Lillian to quickly hand her back to me. "She looks familiar," he continued.

"Her mother is none of your business," I replied curtly. I walked away from them, not wanting to leave her behind. I heard him kiss her and as soon as I turned the corner I stopped, fuming. If I wasn't careful, I could ruin everything. My anger would turn into a problem if I didn't just ignore them. Both of them. And I needed a sitter for Athena from now on. I couldn't risk anyone realizing Lillian was her mother.

"She has her eyes," came Dumbledore's voice. "Be careful with her, Severus. You do not need you cover blown. The meeting is starting now, follow me."

Of course, I had to sit next to her. I sat on the edge of the row, she sat next to me, then Potter, Black and Lupin, followed by...Wormtail? What the hell was he doing here?

Lillian handed me a piece of paper discretely as she sat down. "Don't open that yet," she whispered. "Wait until you get home."

I nodded slightly to show my understanding. Whatever was written on that piece of paper had to be very important for her not to want me to open it around so many people.

When the meeting ended, I Apparated Athena and myself home. We lived in a small house near Hogsmeade, close enough to the one place where we could get everything we ever needed, yet far enough away that we weren't overcrowded by witches and wizards constantly coming and going.

When I finally opened the letter, I was shocked at what I saw.

* * * * *

"What was on the letter," Harry asked. "What did it say?"

"It said you were my son," I answered. "She explained things that I never thought twice about. She said she was not giving you to him no matter what. And then she asked for help. If you were not Potter's son, your parentage would be revealed as you grew. Look first at yourself and then at Athena. If we had not done what we had, you two would be undoubtedly brother and sister. You would look nearly identical."

"What did you do?"

* * * * *

June 23, 1980

She came over without warning. "Severus?" she called as she shut the door.

"Yes?" I answered from the kitchen. She slowly waddled in, near tears.

"What are we going to do?" she asked. "He's going to look like you."

"I don't know."

"Sirius saw that letter," she whispered sitting down at the table. "He knows," she said breaking down in tears. We needed serious help. "He said he's not going to tell James because it would crush him, and if I hurt him, if he ever caught us together, he would kill you."

"He won't touch me," I replied coldly. "I think I know who can help us," I said coming to a sudden realization. "The Weasleys," I whispered.

"How could Molly and Arthur help us?" she asked.

"Have you looked at records? In the trophy room at Hogwarts, there's a list of students who earned O's in various subjects. Both Molly and Arthur earned O's in Charms--for both O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s. They can put a charm over the baby--make him look like Potter."

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

"No, no no no no no," I said crouching in front of her. "Don't you dare be sorry, Lil. Ever. Let's go to them. If we have to, we'll curse the secret. No one will be able to say the truth until one of us deems it is time."

"Alright," she whispered, calming down at last. "Alright," she repeated.

* * * * *

"What happened after that?" my son asked. "What did the Weasleys do?"

"They helped us. I don't know why, maybe it's because they're so generous and kind that they felt sorry for us so they helped us. After that, we cursed the secret. Until one of us said it was time to tell you or anyone else, if a person tried to say it out loud, they couldn't. They'd become temporarily mute. Usually lasting a day or so. We didn't tell anyone about the curse either. It was between us, no one else. Just like you, Harry. You were our secret, no one else's."

"So, how many people knew before the curse was placed on the secret?" Athena asked.

"Black, Lupin, the Weasleys, and Dumbledore."

"Dumbledore knew?" Harry demanded. "He knew?"

"He knew."

"Everyone knew...just like the prophecy."

"Not just like the prophecy," I corrected. "Only six people knew about that. Two of them died, one of them did the killing, one is a headmaster, one is a servant, and the other is sitting right here, telling you everything."

"If Dumbledore knew, why didn't I live with you?" Harry demanded. "If he knew I had a parent alive, why didn't he send me to you?"

"Because I was being investigated for being a Death Eater, and we were still meeting long after the Dark Lord disappeared. It was too dangerous for you to be with us."

Far too dangerous.