Hermione's Suicide

Three new and unexpected additions were made to the DA the month before the summer break began. The three of them stood behind Harry as he needlessly introduced them. Everyone in the school knew them. Everyone in the school had been tormented by any of the three on more than one occasion.

Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, and Blaise Zabini.

It was not Blaise's presence, or even Draco's that surprised Hermione (she knew exactly what he was doing there). It was Pansy's.

Brown eyes met black eyes and the two sixteen year old girls stared at each other in fascination, unable to look away....

What would Pansy and her friends bring to the DA? What would they bring to the war? What would they do if they knew of the corruption? Were they a part of the corruption?

~~~

Harry sat alone in his dormitory late that night looking at a picture taken at the end of the term last year. He, Ron, and Hermione had all been smiling then. They'd all been fairly happy.... Was she already planning her suicide?, Harry wondered. Did she know her end was near?

Dear Merlin why the hell did she do it?

"Harry?"

"What?" Harry asked, his voice cracking with emotion.

Ron sat down next to Harry and took the photograph. "I remember this," he said thoughtfully. "To think, three weeks later...

"Malfoy's outside," he said quickly, changing the subject. "He says he wants to talk to you."

"Are you talking to him now then?" Harry asked, knowing that Ron hadn't really said much to Draco since he learned that Draco was gay.

"I was on my way back from the library. He caught up with me as I was about to come in here."

"Do you know what he wants?" Harry asked.

Ron shook his head. He put the picture down and stood and walked over to his own bed. "No," he sighed, laying down. "But it seems important."

Harry nodded and left.

"Hello," Draco said, giving Harry a hug.

Harry sighed heavily and wrapped his arms around the other man. "Hey," he said softly.

"Come out with me," Draco said. "Let's get out of the school for a while."

"Where to?" Harry asked.

"I don't know," Draco replied. "Anywhere but here. Seventh years are free to come and go as they please, so I thought.... We should celebrate," he said trying to lighten the mood. "After all, today was a good day."

Harry nodded. "Alright," he agreed. "I need to go get something really quick, I'll be right back."

"I have to wait out here?" Draco asked with a sigh.

"Do you want to come in?" Harry asked. "The Tower's nothing like the dungeon, but it's home."

"You know what our common room looks like?" Draco asked.

Harry chuckled slightly. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"But we're not allowed into other common rooms."

"That's actually not a rule," Harry said, surprising the Prefect. "I looked it up. It's just not something that happens very often because this is Hogwarts and inter-house stuff doesn't usually happen. Do you want to come in or not?"

"Sure," Draco shrugged. "What are you getting?"

Harry shook his head and turned to open the portrait hole.

"What's he doing here?" Ron asked as Harry entered the dormitory with Draco right behind him.

"He didn't want to wait outside," Harry answered, going to his trunk.

"But...isn't this against the rules?"

"Nope," Harry answered simply. "Just doesn't happen very often."

Harry discretely pocketed his moneybag and pulled out a book from his trunk. If they were going into Hogsmeade, then Harry needed to talk to the owners of Zonko's about disappearing ink.

"What's that?" both Ron and Draco asked, seeing what Harry was holding.

"I think it's Hermione's diary," Harry answered softly. "But there's nothing written in it, or at least there seems to be nothing written in it. I'm wondering if it's disappearing ink or something. I know I've seen her writing in it before...."

"Where do you want to go to check it out?" Draco asked. "Scrivenshaft's, or Zonko's?"

Harry shrugged. "Either one will work."

"Sorry we can't help you," Mr. Scrivenshaft said softly, handing the diary back to Harry. "If there was anything written in it, I suggest a revealing spell. If nothing else works, we do have these erasers--they're ideal for exposing invisible ink."

"I'll take an eraser then," Harry said, his voice full of hopelessness.

"That'll be five Knuts."

"Invisible ink, you say?" Mr. Zonko asked, looking through the diary. "We sell it, but our inks never last this long, if it is as old as you say it is. The longest our inks have been known to last are only two months at most. Usually they become visible before then, however. I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, I don't think there's anything I can do for you."

"Thanks anyway," Harry sighed, taking the diary back. He and Draco walked out of the shop together and up the road to the Three Broomsticks.

They sat down at one of the tables near the back. What Draco had hoped to be a relaxing night had turned into a search for answers. Harry pulled out the eraser and began to rub it against the first page of the diary.

"I'm going to go get a butterbeer, you want one?"

Harry nodded, his mind mostly on his erasing.

Draco gazed sadly at his boyfriend for a moment before rising to purchase the butterbeers with whatever money he had left. After school supplies and renting a room from the Leaky Cauldron for three days, he had very little money left over. Somehow he was sure Harry knew that, and that was why he had grabbed his money from his trunk.

Harry sighed and threw down his eraser as Draco came back, a butterbeer in each hand.

"Not working?" he asked, handing Harry one of the bottles.

Harry shook his head. "I'll erase a hole in the page before I find out what she wrote."

"If it is invisible ink, she's gotten a good quality. Obviously not a Zonko's product. After all, you said she started this at Christmas, right?"

Harry nodded. "At least that's the first time I ever saw her with a diary. She seemed pretty upset that day.... That was the day I told Cho that I was gay. Hermione saw the whole thing--she looked pretty upset about something. I'm sure it wasn't because of what she'd seen; she saw it coming. She knew I was gay long before I ever told anyone...."

"So you think she was upset about something else then?" Draco asked.

Harry nodded. "She was completely open about things like that. She said once that she thought she may have been a lesbian herself."

"Where did you find the journal?" Draco asked, his eyes on the blank pages.

"The day she killed herself, I saw her walking out of our room at Grimmauld. She was crying, but she wouldn't talk to me. She ran down the hall and I walked into the room. This was on my bed. It was blank then, as it is now, but...she didn't leave this for nothing," Harry said suddenly. "There's something in here that she wants me to see, I know it."

"Then why can't you read it?" Draco asked softly, covering Harry's hand with his.

Harry shook his head wearily. "I don't know, but I know that something's wrong. She wouldn't have left me this if she didn't want me to find something. She knew...I don't know what she knew, but I do know that shortly after Christmas her trust and confidence in Abram dramatically decreased. I'm guessing that there's something in here about her."

The diary began to faintly glow. Both Harry and Draco were instantly drawn to it, and both were amazed when blue ink began to appear.

Dear Diary 12-25-1996

My mother sent this to me for Christmas this year. I don't really know why, perhaps it is just my unannounced need to get everything out before I explode.

I found out something today, something I never wanted to know. Corruption in this world goes far beyond the Ministry, it seems, and has reached Hogwarts in the guise of our latest DADA professor--Abram--who is also a member of the Order.

I heard the two of them, Dumbledore and that witch, talking about Harry. Oh, it was awful! They kept referring to Harry as an object! A tool! And they said they would use Ron and I as pawns to get Harry to do what they want!

"What?" Harry gasped. "I'm an object?" he asked, his voice rising in anger. "A bloody tool?"

"Harry, calm down," Draco pleaded urgently. They were in the middle of the Three Broomsticks after all, and the rest of Hogsmeade didn't need to know what was written in a dead woman's diary.

"What did she hear?" Harry demanded. "And Dumbledore knows?"

Harry slammed the book shut and stormed out of the pub; furious and ready to kill someone in order to get some answers. Draco was left to follow in his dust.

Harry slammed open the door to the headmaster's office, surprisingly unsurprised to see Professor Abram standing in the middle of the room, apparently in the middle of a sentence.

"I'm a tool?" Harry demanded, storming up to the headmaster's desk. "What the bloody hell did she mean? What did she know? What are you hiding from me?"

"Harry," the headmaster said, a look of confusion on his face, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"The HELL you don't!" Harry bellowed, slamming his fists on the headmaster's desk. "BOTH OF YOU! YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT USING ME! SHE HEARD YOU! I WAN'T SOME ANSWERS NOW!"

"You are referring to a conversation Miss Granger overheard between myself and Professor Abram near Christmas of last year, are you not?" Dumbledore asked calmly. Harry stared. "Miss Granger was mistaken in what she heard that day, Harry," he said, trying to calm the boy. "You are not a tool, and we are not using you as such. Please, return to your dormitory, Professor Abram and I are in the middle of something important."

Harry stared into the headmaster's eyes for a moment before he accepted the fact that he wasn't going to get any answers. "Fine," he spat. He pushed himself away from the desk. "Next time, don't lie to me."

He walked out of the office then, many of the portraits staring at him in shock, not knowing how he knew that the headmaster had been lying.

"How does he know?" Professor Abram asked as soon as the door was shut. "Granger is dead, she can't have told him."

"Donna, Miss Granger was a highly talented witch. If she wanted Harry to know something, not even death would be able to stop her from getting the message to him. As for now, we should focus our attention on Mr. Weasley and Mr. Malfoy. They are perhaps the only two close enough to Harry to influence him in any way."

~~~

Dear Diary 1-3-97

I'm not sure what they're planning to do, but I know it's big. They wouldn't be so keen on enlisting the help of both Ron and myself if it were not. I won't do it. I know they're only planning on using Harry, and I know it is not in the best interest of the war. This is something that is beneficial to Dumbledore himself, no doubt, though I can't see why he would be interested in personal gain. In the past he has only been interested in the well being of Harry and the rest of us. Perhaps it is for the best of the school, though I don't see how anything would be in the best interest of anything without Harry.

I don't even know what it is that they're planning. But Abram, she said that as soon as he was out of the way.... As soon as Ron and I got him out of the way their plan could commence. I'm terrified. I want to tell Harry, but...I can't. I don't know what it is, but I can't seem to tell him, no matter how hard I try. I want to tell him to beware of Abram and Dumbledore. I want to tell him that he should never go anywhere alone or trust either Ron or myself if we tell him to go somewhere alone.

I'm scared. I don't think I've ever been so terrified for Harry in all the time I've known him, and I've been plenty scared for him loads of times.

I don't know what to do anymore...

Hermione