Loving Lupin

The three students had begun to pack surprisingly behind schedule. Between all the excitement with their professor and their O.W.L.s, they barely had any time to even think that the end of the year was so close. Even though there was some obvious tension remaining between Ron and Hermione, the trio was getting along better than they had all year. With Hermione no longer so isolated, they found it easier to converse lightly about heavier topics, such as Voldemort, their teacher's betrayal, and occasionally even Professor Lupin and his whereabouts.

     Hermione actually had not thought very much about Professor Lupin lately. Undoubtedly, he was still on her mind quite often, but she found it easier to be not so sad about him. Something akin to fresh hope had stirred in her breast at the close of exams, and she couldn't help but feel excited and jumpy about the end of the year. She had all summer to mend her broken heart, but at the same time, she expected to have an enjoyable time on her vacation. Her parents had lightly mentioned vacation in Germany, so she had a few things to look forward to.

     However, while she was packing, she found something that suddenly caused her to become very thoughtful. She had been sifting through her school books when she found her old diary, which she had long since abandoned. There was a certain obsession she had with keeping a diary while she and Professor Lupin had been together-- perhaps she had realized that their fling would be short-lived, and she wanted to make sure to record every time they had ever shared together. Whatever the reason, it was shockingly detailed.

     "What's this?" she murmured, brushing dust off the front cover. A look of comprehension dawned on her face as she looked inside the cover. "Oh... Not this..."

     I met him again tonight. You know who I mean. He looked so old... So careworn. I had actually just been in a fight with Ron at dinner and was raging off to the library to avoid him. But the moment I sat down, I noticed Remus across the room at another table, poring over several huge wizarding history books. I have a faint suspicion that this may have had nothing to do with his classes, but rather his anti-You-Know-Who work that he does under Dumbledore's command.

     I must admit I was more that pleasantly surprised to see him. All right, I was practically shaking in excitement. Sure, he'd said he'd want nothing to do with a love affair, but I didn't care, he was still there in all his magnificence, and that was enough for me. He's so ruggedly handsome-- sometimes he lets his beard grow in a little bit, I guess when he has too much work to do and can't be bothered with such menial things such as shaving.

     Maybe he could sense me staring, because next thing I knew, he was staring back. He gave me a small, polite smile before turning back to his books. I wanted more than that, couldn't he sense it? I hated the way he was treating me like a stranger, when I was obviously one of his best students who knew him very well, not just some person who had randomly walked into his life. Even a little bit of a warmer smile would have been nice. Anything. Anything just to acknowledge the fact I exist...

     "I'm going to retire, Madam Pince," I heard him say amiably.

     "So early?" replied the librarian, raising her thin eyebrows.

     "It feels late to me," he laughed, but he barely seemed to be kidding. "Thank you for all of your help."

     "Anytime," she said breezily, dusting one of the nearby tables.

     I expected him to take a route to avoid me, but he passed right by my table on his way out. Was it my imagination, or did he wink? It must have been my imagination. Yes... Most definitely.

     A faint smile lit up Hermione's face. She could still recall when her and Lupin's love was in its infant stages. It had been so awkward then, so very shy... But it had been wonderful, truly. The bushy-haired girl closed her eyes over hot tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes. She had not cried since the Shrieking Shack incident; how could she start now? She mustn't, she mustn't, she mustn't...

     But one glance at Lupin's green ring sparkling on her finger and she was upon her bed, once again in tears.

     * * *

     "Well, this is it, isn't it?" said Ron uncomfortably when they met at the portrait hole to go off the the last feast.

     "Yeah," replied Harry sadly, thinking of another long summer with the Dursleys.

     "Cheer up, Harry," chirped Hermione encouragingly. "I promise you I'll write!"

     "Yeah. I guess."

     He still looked so gloomy that Hermione tapped him gently on the head. "C'mon, don't spoil your last night."

     "You're right, you're right," he sighed, jamming his hands into the pockets of his robe.

     The three tramped off to the Great Hall, where they found that some of the festivities had already begun. Hermione's eyes were all alight at the prospect of dancing, but Ron looked rather alarmed when she grabbed him by the hand and begged him to dance the next song with him. Harry smirked at Ron's reddening ears. However, his smile quickly vanished when he found himself face to face with Ginny Weasley.

     "Er... Hello." Harry's cheeks tinged with red as he stared down at the youngest Weasley, quite unsure of what to say.

     "Hi, Harry," she said breathlessly. "Do you fancy a dance?"

     "All right," he agreed reluctantly, putting his arm around his waist.

     "Is that my sister?" exclaimed Ron incredulously, staring over at the new couple that had joined the dance floor. "I think she's dancing with Harry! I wonder why? Harry hates dancing!"

     "That he may, but I don't think he hates your sister," said Hermione loftily, a smug smile curving across her face.

     "What do you mean, he doesn't hate my sister? Of course he doesn't! They're friends!" snarled Ron, utterly bewildered by this point.

     "Oh, they're more than friends, Ron," giggled Hermione. "I think they're a lot more than that."

     "But-- but-- MY SISTER!" sputtered Ron.

     "Just be thankful it isn't someone awful." Hermione smiled fondly over at the two, delighted that after all this time, they had managed to get together.

     The song had begun to come to a close, but Hermione expected Ron would dance with her again if she asked. True, his ears were still very red, but he seemed to be loosening up slightly.

     "Shall we go again?" asked Hermione, smiling sweetly over at him.

     "Perhaps we should take a break," grumbled Ron, a trickle of sweat making its way down the side of his face.

     Hermione tried her best not to look disappointed and followed him back to the Gryffindor table. She couldn't help but burn with envy as she watched Ginny and Harry laugh with every dance step they performed together. Why did Ron have to be so difficult? After all, she only wanted to dance. As if to nonverbally voice her thoughts, she shot Ron a severe look. Ron looked quite startled, obviously unaware of what could have made his dance partner so suddenly angry.

     "Hello," said Ginny breathlessly, joining Ron and Hermione at the table. "Goodness, it's hot, isn't it?"

     Again, Hermione threw Ron a positively disgruntled look.

     "What?" he mumbled.

     But before Hermione could reply, Harry had joined them as well. His cheeks were flushed, but he seemed to be enjoying himself.

     "Haven't you been dancing?" he asked pointedly.

     "Yes," replied Hermione mockingly. "A whole song, we did!"

     "Oh... Er..." Harry glanced over at Ginny uncomfortably.

     Fortunately, Ginny had found a new distraction. "Hermione... Look over there..."

     "What?" she snapped irritably.

     "That boy over there has not stopped staring at you since you've sat down," she murmured gently, nodding down the Gryffindor table.

     "Why... what... Oh!" Hermione blushed crimson and humbly raised her eyes.

     The boy down the table was no older than 15, but he had a wizened look about him, as if he'd seen too many troubles in the few years he'd lived. His eyes were gray and orb-like, and he had windswept, chocolate-brown hair. Though undoubtedly handsome, he had a pale, peakish look, and he was painfully thin. He soon noticed Hermione watching him, and wasted no time in moving his way down the Gryffindor table to face her.

     "Hello," he said softly, almost apprehensively.

     "Er... Hello..." Hermione blinked up at him.

     "I was wondering if you'd fancy a dance," he whispered, twitching slightly and staring apprehensively at Ron, who looked as mad as a cow.

     "Why-- I-- all right--" she stammered, glancing nervously at Ron before allowing the boy to wrap his arm around his waist.

     "You're very beautiful," he whispered, his eyes glowing with what looked like affection.

     "Erm... Thank you," mumbled Hermione uncomfortably.

     He smiled gently at her, sweeping her across the dance floor with more grace than any boy ever had, even including Viktor Krum. Hermione noticed with some trepidation that his smile was oddly familiar... It was one she had seen many times before, and when she saw it, her heart skipped a beat. There was something vaguely romantic in his gray eyes, and something about his arms around her waist made her tremble...

     "Will you speak with me outside?" he murmured in her ear, his hot breath tickling every hair on her head.

     "Yes," whispered Hermione, her cheeks flushing.

     "Come with me," he whispered back, twirling her around in his arms before leading her out into the gardens outside of the Great Hall.

     She allowed herself to be led to a stone bench, where he sat her down before staring deep into her eyes. A starry sky twinkled above the pair's heads; however, Hermione was too busy staring at the beautiful boy in front of her to notice.

     "I'm going to kiss you, Hermione," said the boy simply.

     Nothing crossed her mind, nothing-- not who the boy was, how he knew her name, or the fact that a complete stranger was about to kiss her-- except that something that felt like love was radiating between her and this soft-spoken boy. Without waiting for her answer, he leaned over and gently curved his lips upon hers. They were trembling-- trembling-- very much like someone else's lips had the first time they had kissed--

     Hermione suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him away, breathing in gasps.

     "Professor!" she cried, her eyes fluttering wildly. She suddenly felt very faint.

     Professor Lupin did not speak. He only nodded, his gray eyes shining with what looked like tears. Hermione sobbed loudly and again grabbed him by the shoulders, kissing him full on the lips. No longer afraid of the consequences, no longer afraid of Snape, of Dumbledore, of Harry or Ron, or of anyone, Hermione threw her body against his, allowing him to entwine his arms around her waist and kiss her deeply. She didn't realize that she was crying until he began to kiss her salty tears away from her cheeks, and as he did so, she realized he was crying, too. Together they cried, their tears mingling upon both of their faces as they kissed each other again and again.

     "Goodness, I'm a mess," mumbled Professor Lupin shakily once they'd broken apart. "I really need to... er... indeed..." He fumbled around in his robe pockets for a moment before withdrawing a handkerchief. "Here, Hermione, dear, please stop crying, you look ever so pretty when you cry, but even prettier when you smile..."

     Hermione laughed tearfully, accepting the handkerchief from his hands. As she dabbed the tears away from her cheeks, she noticed the robe he had on was quite too big for him, as if he were a child swimming in an adult's clothes.

     "You're a bit... young," she finally said, sniffling desolately.

     "Didn't want to stick out at a student feast, did I?" replied Remus, wiping at his bloodshot eyes. "Professor Dumbledore knew I was coming, of course, I practically had to beg him..." His gray eyes clouded over at the memory, "I don't think he's thrilled with the idea of me being here, figures it'll upset you, but I think he's wise enough to realize that a man in love is not one to be reckoned with... Still, I would have created quite a stir, were anyone else to realize I've returned..."

     "Why did you come back?" Hermione asked, biting down nervously on her strawberry-red lips.

     Professor Lupin coughed slightly, not meeting her eyes. "I need to speak with you. But first..." he reached into his robe pockets once more, "I figure it'll be best to do it as myself..."

     He pulled a small vial from his robes, and uncorking it, put it to his lips. Within seconds, he had returned as the professor Hermione knew and loved-- the broad shoulders, the prematurely lined face...

     "Shall we walk around a bit?" he suggested, pocketing the vial.

     "All right," Hermione replied apprehensively, allowing him to take her hand and lead her away from the garden.

     They had walked past the lake at least two times in silence before Professor Lupin spoke.

     "You did ask why I am here," he said heavily, his voice cracking.

     "Yes." Hermione stared up at him questioningly.

     "Well... the answer to that is quite... How shall I put it... serious." Remus Lupin, who had moments before seemed so jubilant at have being reunited with his lover, suddenly looked very old. "As you realize, Lord Voldemort is up and about, and quickly regaining much of his old power. Dumbledore's already began to gather followers to resist, but it won't be easy."

     Lupin paused, tossing a stone absentmindedly into the lake.

     "I myself will be doing a lot of work for Dumbledore as part of the effort," he continued, still not meeting her eyes, "but I do believe I will be seeing much of you over the summer vacation. You see, Arthur and Molly Weasley will be involved with his resistance as well."

     Hermione didn't see what any of this had to do with her, but she listened intently as Lupin spoke.

     "As inappropriate as some may deem our... relationship... to be, the fact is, I love you. I have never loved a woman before, I admit that. None of them would accept a werewolf... They believe me a monster, incapable of love. But I love you, Hermione, for you have accepted me as no one else could have." He finally stopped moving and stared deeply into her eyes. "That is why, I was wondering... If you'd like... perhaps... To be..." Remus broke off, looking very pale.

     "What?" cried Hermione, pressed against his arm. "What?"

     "To be my wife," he finally managed to say.

     "Oh!" gasped Hermione, torn between ecstasy and astonishment.

     "Not now, of course," Lupin said quickly, looking alarmed at the expression on her face. "After you've graduated, you know, a long time from now. You could even wait a bit after you're out of Hogwarts, just in case, and if you ever change your mind or decide you'd rather someone else... But in case you want to, the offer... the offer... the offer's out there." Remus swallowed nervously.

     "Well, I'll really have to consider this," mused Hermione sarcastically.

     "You will?" exclaimed a stunned Lupin. He looked really rather hurt, so much so that Hermione felt very bad.

     "I was joking!" she assured him nervously. "My answer... my answer is yes, of course!"

     "Yes?" replied Lupin weakly. "Yes?"

     Hermione nodded mutely, her voice suppressed by the happiness that was flooding her veins. Remus smiled shakily at her before leaning down to kiss her again. I'm going to marry this man, thought Hermione dreamily as Lupin pressed his lips against hers. I am actually going to be married to the one man I need the most...

     The pair lost themselves in each other's arms until well past midnight, until Hermione gasped at her watch, and with several more feverish kisses, ran off to her dormitory, yelling over her shoulder that she'd write to him every day of summer vacation.

     "No need, Hermione," murmured Lupin happily, watching her girlish figure recede into the distance. "I have a feeling we'll be seeing each other again very soon."

     ~* The End *~

~*Ending notes: Well! I hope you liked it. Certainly it took all too long to finish this, but from the Harry Potter message boards to Fictionalley.com, it's been a great ride. Thank you so much to all of my reviewers... I wouldn't've been inspired to finish without you. I don't think I'll be doing a sequel to this, but I may do another romance series with another character, and then you'll get glimpses of Lupin/Hermione through their story. Just an interesting side note, I had actually planned to keep the two characters quite separate... I intended to have Hermione end up with Ron, and Lupin and Hermione kiss fervishly at the end (like they did) but the only thing is, they'd be separated in the very end. However, I realized that I didn't want a sad ending, and I wanted them together. So, I pushed my Hermione/Ron shipper mindset and wrote this ending. I hope you all liked it. Thanks again to everyone... I've had so much fun writing this.*~