Loving Lupin

    Things settled down considerably after the Snape incident. Lupin barely acknowledged Hermione's presence in class. This hurt Hermione horribly, but in some ways, she felt it was for the best. If she and Lupin stopped being... involved, there was a less chance of both of them getting hurt. What we were doing was wrong, anyway, thought Hermione as she packed her schoolbag full of books for her afternoon classes on one of the last Friday's of term.

    "Hey, Hermione, would you fancy a trip to Hogsmeade?" asked Ron later that day. He smiled at her. "Everyone's going."

    "I suppose," replied Hermione agreeably. "Is Harry coming?"

    The smile faded slightly from Ron's face. "Does it matter?" he asked uncomfortably.

    "Well, yes," said Hermione, peering at Ron over a fat book. "Why wouldn't he come with us?"

    "Because I thought maybe..." Ron trailed off, but Hermione heard him distinctly mumble, "... you and me."

    "Oh," breathed Hermione, at a loss for words. "Er... You know, Ron, I don't think I'm going to Hogsmeade this weekend. I've so much studying to do, it's amazing that I'll ever get my work done..."

    "Oh." Ron shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "Well, all right then."

    "Hermione," exclaimed Harry, tumbling through the portrait hole. "I just heard Snape and Lupin arguing in the Staff Room, and they were..." He stopped suddenly, giving Ron a look.

    Hermione froze, glancing between Ron and Harry. Ron looked impatient, and he gestured for Harry to go on.

    "They were what?" asked Ron. "Well?"

    "They were... very heated. I don't know why." Harry pushed his bangs back off his forehead and looked at Hermione quickly. "I think I'll go to the Great Hall, I'm dying for something to drink..."

    "I'll come too," agreed Hermione. "Ron, can you stay here and watch my books? I'll be right back."

    "No one's going to want to steal THESE books!" yelled Ron after them.

    "Harry, what were they arguing about?" asked Hermione anxiously. "Is Professor Lupin all right? Did they duel?"

    Harry remained silent, not looking at her.

    Hermione tugged on his robe sleeve. "Oh, Harry, did they duel? Is Professor Lupin hurt? Is he?"

    Harry looked up at her. To Hermione's surprise, it wasn't nervousness, or upset scrawled across his face-- it was anger. His eyebrow twitched in fury as he spoke, each word as heavy as a stone.

    "They didn't duel," he said carefully. "No, not at all. I just heard them talking about what happened between Professor Lupin and one of his students."

    Hermione's stomach sank. Surely Harry hadn't heard about...

    "Did you..."

    "Yes, I did," snapped Harry, making Hermione shrink back in fear at the power of his voice. "What are you thinking, Hermione? Do you know how old he is? He's twice your age!"

    "So I've heard," replied Hermione dryly. "But you don't understand... I really love him. I really do!"

    Harry stared at her in disbelief. "What is your problem? You're supposed to be a model Hogwarts student. You're not supposed to be off seducing professors."

    "So, they were arguing about me?" she snarled angrily, quickly changing the subject. "It's all Snape's fault, isn't it? How dare he!"

    "How dare he?" said Harry weakly. "For once-- and I hate myself for saying this-- I think Snape is right. He's only trying to protect you, and--"

    "Protect me!" spat Hermione. "He just wants to see Professor Lupin sacked. He doesn't care a bit about me."

    "You're wrong, Hermione," mumbled Harry, watching her expression carefully. It was a mixture of anger and lovesickness. The fact that Hermione was lovesick for a professor made Harry almost sick himself. Where has her head gone? thought Harry desperately. She's throwing everything she's ever worked for away...

    "You know what, Harry? Just leave me alone. You do whatever you want to do, and I'll do what I like. All right?" Hermione shot him an angry look and began to stalk away, but not before Harry had grabbed her by the shoulder.

    "You're making a mistake," he told her simply. "And a deadly one at that."

    "So be it."

    Hermione gave him one more lethal glance, and in a flash, she had disappeared down the corridor.

    Hermione stalked back to the Common Rooms, where she met Lavender Brown playing cards with Ron.

    "How nice of you to come back," grumbled Ron, not looking up at Hermione.

    "Lavender, can I ask you a favour?" Hermione asked quickly, a sense of urgency in her voice.

    "Sure... What is it?" Lavender peered up at Hermione curiously.

    "Do you still have your Aging Potion?" she asked in a whisper.

    "Yes... But why?"

    "Can I borrow it?"

    Lavender stared at Hermione as if she'd gone mad, then shrugged. "All right. I'll go and get it."

    Hermione watched eagerly as Lavender left her card game and rummaged around in her backpack. Ron stayed silent.

    "Here you are," she said breathlessly, handing the bottle to Hermione. "But why...?"

    "Thanks!" exclaimed Hermione, running off before Lavender could ask anymore questions.

    Hermione swallowed about half the bottle before deciding that it was enough. A huge mirror on one of the walls outside the Gryffindor common room told her that she had aged appropriately, and that she was ready for her visit with Professor Lupin. Brushing a few strands of hair out of her face, she scampered down the hall to a row of classrooms. One of them included Professor Lupin's.

She knocked three times on his classroom door. No one responded, so she decided to try to sneak in herself. Her hands shook with excitement and apprehension as she eased the door open with a soft creaaaak.

    "Professor Lupin?" she whispered. "Remus?"

    "Miss James?"

    Hermione whirled around, her heart fluttering like a bird's wings, to face Professor Snape.

    "Oh, Professor, I--" she gasped.

    I'm dead, she thought. That's the second time Snape has caught me...

    But Hermione noticed that Snape's expression had turned unusually pleasant. He even smiled and bowed slightly, his cheeks turning pink.

    "Lovely to see you again, Miss James," he said kindly, offering his arm to her. "Shall we?"

    "Er..." Hermione wrung her hands together. "Actually, I was just..."

    "Looking for Lupin?" Snape's smile faded. "What for?"

    "I need to discuss his latest... assignment for the 5th years," she blurted out. "The children seem to be having a lot of trouble with it, and..."

    "I see," he murmured, the smile curling back over his pale face. "Well, he's probably retired for the night, no need to worry about him..."

    "Oh," mumbled Hermione nervously. "I'll just go then I think..."

    "Why go so soon?" asked Snape greasily. He grabbed her wrists. "I know what you feel for me, Jeanie."

    Someone help me! Hermione screamed to herself.

    "And I feel the same for you," Snape continued, ignoring Hermione's silent plea for help. "There's no need to hide it anymore."

    He swooped in on her and kissed her, his lips curling around hers in a grotesque fashion. His disgustingly slimy hands fell over her shoulders and began to travel down her back, his long nails digging into her skin.

    "Mmph!" Hermione pulled away from him. "Stop that!"

    "You don't have to be shy with me anymore, Jeanie," whispered Snape. "There's no need for that."

    "Stop," whimpered Hermione, wriggling out of his grasp. "I must leave now."

    "Wait, Jeanie! JEANIE! WAIT!"

    But Hermione had already left, sobbing. Being kissed by Professor Lupin was one thing. Being kissed by Snape was another.

    As soon as Hermione had escaped Snape, she ran through a few hallways, then stopped behind a huge statue of Godric Gryffindor and hid. Tears streamed freely down her face like drops of water flowing down mountains, and her hands shook as she grasped her wand. If Snape came by to find her again, she'd blast him without a second thought.

    Through her tears she heard a quiet padding of feet. She blinked, hard, until her tears had mostly subsided.

    "Who's there?" she whispered hotly.

    "It's me," said a rich tenor. "Miss... James?"

    "Remus?"

    Hermione stepped out from behind the statue and faced Professor Lupin, her chest beginning to heave again with sobs. He stared at her, wide-eyed, like a deer who has just been faced with headlights.

    "Herm-- Hermione?" he stammered. "Snape just sent me to look for you... He said someone named Miss James was looking for me..."

    "That's me," sobbed Hermione running to Professor Lupin. He immediately opened his arms and embraced her, holding her close to his warm, broad chest. "If Snape knew it was me, he'd kill me, and I didn't want to..."

    "What did he do to you?" he whispered, cupping her chin with his hand. His wise eyes stared down at her with deep concern, and suddenly, Hermione felt as if she could tell him what happened, even though when she'd first ran off, she'd made a promise to herself to tell no one of the night's events.

    "He... he kissed me," mumbled Hermione, rubbing at her eyes furiously. "And he put his arms around my waist... and... Oh, it was horrible!" She buried her face in his chest.

    "I should say!" growled Remus. "Where does he come off, going after you like that?"

    Hermione looked up at Professor Lupin. "Remember, he thinks I'm Jeanie James, just a girl his age. And I guess he found me..."

    "He still has no right to do that," snapped Professor Lupin, his arms closing in on Hermione tightly. His expression softened slightly as he felt her shake with a silent sob. "It's all right, Hermione. He'll never get near you again. I promise you that."

    "Oh, Remus," whispered Hermione. She then laughed suddenly.

    "What?" asked Lupin, smiling down at her.

    "It's just funny. I feel like I'm in some sort of romance novel or something," she giggled, leaning her head back against his chest.

    "Indeed, sometimes it can seem that way..." He laughed too for a moment, but then, his expression became very troubled.

    "What's wrong, Professor?" Hermione blushed. "Oops. I mean, what's wrong, Remus?"

    "It's just... Well, you know, we can never honestly be together." He smiled sadly at her. "It would ruin both of our reputations, mine as a teacher, and yours as a student. We will always have to live in secret. Meeting behind a statue here..." He gestured to the statue of Godric Gryffindor. "Hiding in an abandoned classroom there..."

    "It's worth it, though, isn't it?" said Hermione earnestly. "Isn't it worth it to you?"

    "It is," murmured Lupin back. "It truly, honestly is worth it to me. But is it to you?"

    Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but she hesitated. Blinking a few times, she pondered his question. Was it worth it? Yes, thought Hermione. It's worth it.

    "It is, Remus," she said confidently. "And I mean that with all my heart."

    Lupin loosened his embrace on her. Hermione stared up at him with her big brown eyes, her face full of expectance. He smiled gently and softly laid his lips on hers, his hands brushing the side of her face.

    This is worth it, Hermione thought as they broke apart. It just has to be.