The Secret Diary of Cho Chang Aged 15 and 3/4

11:00pm

Back from the first feast of the term. I don't know how I got through it. I sat down at my usual place, and it seemed that every pair of eyes was on me. I just kept my eyes fixed on my plate until after the Sorting. When that had finished, and the plates filled with food, I found I wasn't hungry. I had to force some food down me though, otherwise the house elves would have told Professor Flitwick that I hadn't eaten anything. Then, of course, Mum would have had to have been told.

Professor Dumbledore stood up at the end of the feast. He's got this amazing ability to command attention, even just by standing up and not speaking at first, everyone's head just turned to him. His speech though was very thought provoking and moving. I hope people actually paid attention to it.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, staff and ghosts. Today is the start of something new. A new term. A new school year. We shall never forget what happened last June. Cedric's death will not have been in vain. As a school, we shall endeavour to make sure that this will not happen. The wizarding world is changing constantly. United we stand. Divided we fall".

I had to bite my lip. He's got this incredible knack of knowing what to say, or should I say, knowing how to say the right thing. I looked at Julian Barnes at the Hufflepuff table, and I nodded towards Dumbledore as if to say, "Listen to him." He had the good grace to look ashamed.

I looked straight at Professor Dumbledore, he caught my eye and smiled at me.

3:00am

It's weird being back here. I've got the curtains closed but I can still hear Deborah, Jackie, Lucy and April sleeping. I've got an old photo album. It was at the bottom of my trunk. There's a photo of me and Cedric at the ball. He's trying to drag me into the photo, but I'm refusing. I don't really like my photo being taken. There's another one of the Quidditch team, taken about two years ago. The only girl on the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team. I was so chuffed when I was picked to be part of the team! There's another one at the Gryffindor v Ravenclaw match, which they won. I remember that match, as that was the first time I'd seen Harry up close. I suppose if I admit to myself, I did have a little bit of a crush on him when I first saw him. Not a massive one though, it certainly wasn't anything to do with the "Boy Who Lived" rubbish. I had admired his Quidditch skills since the second year (his first year). I don't know why, he just seemed..ooh.. I don't know. I remember us trying to outdo each other. We had a laugh. Of course he's got that bloody Firebolt which sort of made things slightly unfair, (more like very unfair!), but I like to think I gave him a good contest. Well, I am probably the best seeker at school after him. I'm certainly better than that arrogant arse Malfoy, and Cedric..well..bless him, he had to keep the whole Hufflepuff team going.

3:15am

You know what? I just remembered that I didn't look out for Harry at the Welcome Feast. Isn't that weird? For someone who I wanted to talk to during the summer, I didn't even glance at him. Mind you, I was too busy paying attention to what Professor Dumbledore was saying.

6:00am

I've just had the most awful, horrible dream. Cedric had been torn in half. You Know Who was laughing and Cedric was screaming. I woke up with such a start, I was scared that I'd woken up the other girls, but I hadn't. I must have been screaming in my sleep, not out loud. I really must remember to cast a silencing charm on this bed.

8:00am

I'm all showered and changed. The others had left a note saying they would see me down at the table.

I really can't face food though. That dream I had, it keeps getting replayed in my mind. Its making me feel sick, and - oh, an owl!

Dear Miss Chang

Before your first class, would you please come to my office? I trust you know where it is. If you do not, please ask Professor Flitwick for directions. The password is Chocolate Buttons.

Sincerely

Professor Dumbledore

DUMBLEDORE??!!! Oh my God. OH. MY. GOD. Oh my good God. He's never asked to see me before. What have I done? Oh God. I definitely can't face food now. I feel sick.

1:00pm

Lunchtime. I think Professor Dumbledore has eyes and ears everywhere. When I got to his office, (I didn't need directions, everyone knows where his office is, its legendary), he must have seen how scared I looked, I started apologising to him for whatever it was that I had done. He just put up his hand, motioned for me to sit down and smiled at me. Which calmed me down no end.

"Please Miss Chang, Cho. You've nothing to be worried about, you're in no trouble. I apologise if my owl gave you that impression."

"No sir. Well, yeah, a bit. I mean being summoned here I -" Well I stopped talking, I was babbling like an imbecile.

He smiled at me and offered me some tea. I dared not take any, I was afraid I would throw it up all over his desk.

"I've taken the liberty of providing us with some breakfast. The house elves told me that you had missed it earlier. I always find a good meal is the only way to start the day, don't you?" He helped himself to slices of toast and marmite. I immediately thought that was strange. No normal person eats that muck.

"Er...yeah. I mean, yes, you're right, Sir." So I helped myself to a slice and just nibbled on it.

"Now, you must be wondering why I asked you to come here?" He stopped eating and looked at me over those half moon glasses.

I nodded at him, and just said quite weakly, "Is it something to do with Cedric, sir?"

He leant back in his chair and put the tips of his fingers together and smiled, "Ah, ever the wise Ravenclaw. Well, yes and no. Firstly, please forgive my tardiness, I should have come to see how you were after the Tri-Wizard competition. I should not have waited until the beginning of the new term. I do know that you two were rather close."

I nodded and then buried my head in my hands. I didn't want to cry in front of him, but I couldn't help it. The next thing I knew, Dumbledore was out of his seat, and had placed his hands on my shoulders.

"There, there Cho." He looked right into my eyes and said, "I'm going to give you a piece of advice that I gave another student a few years back. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, Cho. I feel confident in saying that Cedric would not want you to dwell on the past. He would want to be remembered with joy. He wouldn't want students to feel blame, or bitterness." He sat back down in his chair and he turned serious then and asked me, in fact, he almost whispered, "Cho, I must ask you this. Has anyone, and I mean ANYONE voiced thoughts on Harry Potter and the Tri-Wizard competition. More specifically, have people expressed the opinion that he was involved in Cedric dying?"

I was stunned. How did he know what Julian had said? How many other people had said that?

"Erm.. well, not really. What I mean is that I got the impression that certain people were waiting to see how I would react to Harry. Like, if I snubbed him, then, erm, other people would as well. I said that is ridiculous. I don't blame Harry. I never have. I'm not going to treat him any differently. Mind you, to be honest sir, I don't really know him that well."

He looked grave, "Well enough to owl him during the summer?"

I was shocked! "How did .. How did you know about that?"

He put up his hand. "Cho, I was quite concerned when I heard that people were looking to you to see how you would treat Harry."

"Why's that?" I was confused.

"Let's just say that some people's emotions, are, quite understandably, highly charged at this time. I believe I owe you another apology. I should have realised that you are an intelligent young woman. Otherwise you would never have been put into Ravenclaw. Although, the Sorting Hat tells me you would have done well in Gryffindor."

"Yes, he told me that. Just as well he put me in Ravenclaw, I'd never have made the Quidditch team. Mind you, I probably would have ended up belting Oliver Wood if I had. Oh..." I couldn't believe I had said that! "What I mean is, um..."

"Yes, Mr Wood was, how should we say, over-enthusiastic about Quidditch. We miss him here at Hogwarts, but I believe he's just broken through to the first team at Puddlemere United."

"I thought he bordered on lunacy myself." I couldn't stop myself.

"Ah, yes, well. Anyhow, Cho, lets finish breakfast and I shall escort you down to Potions, which I believe is your first lesson."

Which made eating all the more difficult. Snape, first class back after the summer holidays.

Oh joy.