Hidden Love, Strange Secrets

She ran, her cloak sweeping along the green - grassed courtyard. Tears rushed down her cheeks, down her chin. She made no attempt to brush them away with her angry fists. Brown hair streamed out behind her like a beacon. It was blowing loose around her face as she stopped, turned around and saw the house on the hill she'd just left.

"I hate you!" she screamed passionately, "I hate you, you miserable bastard son of a bitch!"

He had hated it when she swore like she did. That was why she did it, to make him angry - the makeup sex was always better. She loved him, loved him so much that it hurt her to even think about what he'd be doing now, when she'd stormed out of the house. She wondered if he even cared; if he even now was dressing to come running after her.

Of course he wasn't, she thought bitterly. He wouldn't even care. She wouldn't be surprised if he'd gotten back into bed with Ginny and calmed her down rather than wondering where she, Hermione, his wife of four years had gone.

"Hermione!"

Ginny, of all people, was running towards her. When she saw that Hermione had stopped, she slowed her pace and walked up to her. Hermione was looking forward to having a good go at her.

"Hermione, I'm sorry..."

"Sorry? Sorry for what? Sorry for breaking my fucking heart in two, sorry for stealing my husband, sorry for what? He's your brother, for fuck's sake!"

"It's been going on for years, we've always hid it from you before! We never, ever intended you to find out!"

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you two been sleeping together?"

Ginny took a deep breath before replying, "Since fourth year."

"Your fourth year or his?"

"Mine. He wanted to wait but I didn't," she said, wondering how to explain all of this.

"You were together before that?" Hermione was almost bowled over in shock.

"We didn't do anything particularly serious until then."

"How far did you go before that?"

"Why, does it turn you on?"

Hermione lunged at Ginny and made to pull out her wand.

"You're pathetic, Hermione. I thought you would have known by now! You were always the smartest one. Always the one that got the grades, that was good at logic, all that stuff! But no, you trusted him, you trusted that he loved you completely, you trusted that he'd be fine if you had to leave on business for a day or two."

"I can see now that I shouldn't have," hissed Hermione through her teeth.

"It started when I was twelve. I'd just turned eleven."

"Eleven? Dear god, how did that happen?"

"Come back to the house and we'll explain all of it. I promise."

Hermione felt very strange and very confused. She wanted to hear the explanations and Ron begging, but clearly Ron and Ginny had been together considerably longer than her and Ron. Turning back to look at the house, she nodded to Ginny and said, "Let's go."

*~*~*

Back at the house, it was clear that Ron had been crying. He opened his arms when they walked in the door, and for a moment both girls with unsure who he wanted to embrace. But then Ginny walked forward and he folded her in his arms, sobbing. Ginny held him and spoke softly to him. Hermione suddenly felt like she was an intruder, a stranger in her own home.

When at last they broke apart, Ginny leaned in briefly and kissed Ron. He placed a hand on her belly and pushed her away. Hermione swiftly looked at her feet, but Ron came over and hugged her.

"We need to get it all out," he said simply.

That, thought Hermione, was an understatement.

They went through into the living room, sun streaming in the French windows. Ron and Ginny sat on the sofa and curled up together. Hermione sat in the chair on the other side of the room. Visitors always sat in this chair. She and Ron always sat on the sofa together, holding hands or curled like he and Ginny were now, Ginny sitting between his legs and leaned back into his body. Ron, she noticed, did not look uncomfortable, whilst she felt like she was a million miles from reality.

"Tell me." The two words fell like lead towards the Persian carpet on the floor.

"It started on the first day when Ron came back after his first year at Hogwarts," said Ginny. She though back, and then continued, "I came into his room that day to say hello to him, and welcome home. He crossed the room in three strides, and hugged me, said he'd missed me too. Then, as if it was normal, he leaned in and kissed me."

"He just kissed you, just like that?"

"Yeah," said Ron. He took a deep breath and added, "I don't know to this day what made me do it, but it just felt like the right thing to do. Of course, she was scared shitless and left, but I think it stayed with her."

"Too fucking right it did!"

"Hermione, calm down. It did stay with me, and I was very confused. When Harry came that summer, it was the perfect excuse to show Ron that I didn't want him by acting shy around Harry. But he wasn't deterred."

"I kissed her once more that summer, which scared her a bit. But then, in the fall, in her first year, she started confiding in Tom Riddle and thought that she didn't need me any more. But I persisted, and when she tossed that thing away I made my move. She was scared and worried, and I calmed her."

"You cornered me in an empty classroom!"

"True. I went to comfort her, hugged her and then kissed her. I think she was expecting it -"

"I was, and I kissed him back. I didn't mean to, I just found myself doing it."

Hermione was Alice in wonderland, and she'd just gone down the rabbit hole. She wondered if she would ever be able to understand. They'd just done it because they felt like it was right.

"We got into this routine over the next few years until I turned fourteen. I knew what came next after kissing in relationships, and I wanted to know what it was like. Ron didn't, and he was scared to hurt me."

"I was terrified."

Ginny pulled out her wand and said, "Accio pensieve!"

A pensieve emerged slowly from the cupboard, as Hermione knew it would. She watched as Ginny pulled a memory from her temple and deposited it in the pensieve. Hermione got up, walked over and stepped into the pensieve.

As soon as she had found her feet, she sat down on the bed opposite Ginny's. She had been in Ginny's dormitory before, and knew that her room mates were rarely there. Suddenly the door opened and Ron and Ginny raced in. Ginny was laughing as Ron locked the door and pushed her so that she fell downwards onto her bed. There was a tussle as Ron and Ginny shed their clothes, trying to kiss continually. Hermione couldn't help laughing.

Clothes removed, Ron and Ginny lay there on her bed, kissing frantically. Ron's hands were on Ginny's small breasts, and Ginny was panting. She broke one of his kisses and said softly, "I want some. You know you want to as well, I know you want it as much as I do."

"Gin, I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to force you or anything, I want us to be really special. Are you sure you want to? You're only fourteen."

"I wouldn't be saying it if I wasn't sure, silly."

She had a point, Hermione thought to herself. Strangely, she wasn't that sickened by the sight of the two together now. Seeing them like this, so intimate, so close, it looked like they really did belong together, the two of them with their fire - red hair, their freckles on their noses.

Ginny reached off the bed for a moment and pulled out her wand. She quickly pointed at herself and muttered a contraceptive spell. When she'd finished, Ron looked at her and said once more, "You're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Love you."

"Love you too, Gin."

He flipped her over onto her back and entered her. Ginny gave a cry and winced; Hermione knew what that pain was like, she'd lost it to Ron herself. He stopped for a second, but Ginny urged him on with her kisses. They found each other's pace and matched them. When Ron stopped, he pulled out and the two of them lay there, bodies intertwined and cobwebbed by sweat.

"We look kinda cute like that, don't you think?"

Ginny had arrived in the memory to bring Hermione back.

"Yeah, I can see you guys more clearly now, I think I'm starting to understand it now," said Hermione.

Ginny smiled sadly. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way. We knew that you would have to be told someday. I hate the fact that we can't be together. He's the only guy I've ever truly loved."

Hermione felt a stab of sorrow as Ginny took her arm and pulled her from the memory.

*~*~*

Hours later, all was explained.

Ginny and Ron retreated back to the bedroom to spend a few hours together before Ron had to sign the divorce papers that Hermione was going to arrange.

Hermione left the house carrying a small bag. She walked to a road and caught the Knight Bus to London. Once there, she walked through Muggle London to an old pub on a well - light street corner. Entering the pub, she went to the bar and asked for a V&C. The bartender looked at her gently.

"Rough day?" he asked kindly.

"Like you wouldn't believe," she replied.

The radio was playing softly, good songs that she hadn't heard before.

You want apologies?

You might hold your breath until your breathing stops forever, Forever.
The only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips:

I hope they taste of me forever

Of course, they had apologised. Ron had got on his knees and begged her to stay. But Ginny looked close to tears, and Hermione remembered her words. She wanted them to be together, because it would make both of them so happy.

She tried to think straight, but the vodka was dulling her brain.

I wish I was as invisible as you make me feel wailed the radio.

She didn't feel invisible, just betrayed. Who would have thought it? Hermione toasted the bartender and booked a room for the night.

*~*~*

Ginny lay in his arms, sleeping soundly. She was dreaming of their wedding day, a dream that she'd had many times before but that would never come true.

Ron knew what she was dreaming, and moved his arm slowly as not to wake her.

He hoped the tears he was crying hadn't woken her or got her hair wet.

He wondered where Hermione was.

The tears fell faster and he buried his head in the pillow, sobbing. Ginny slept on, unaware.

*~*~*

Hermione thought about Ron as she lay on the unfamiliar bed. She looked up to the exposed beams and wondered about what she'd seen and found out that day.

Tears crept down her cheeks as she rolled onto her left side, wishing that Ron's arm was around her waist.