Ai Shiteru

Ai Shiteru

Prologue - Je Matte Ne

I think everyone was shocked to hear that the trio spilt. The war had changed us all too much for us to continue to be close friends like we had been for seven years. Harry withdrew into himself and spent his time wandering around the school. Ron locked himself in his room, mourning after the death of his parents. I hide myself away in the library, buried deep under piles of books. In lessons, we would sit together but not say a word. At meals we would laugh and joke with the others at the table but not with each other. In the evenings, we would go our own way. The relationship between Ron and I ended without us even saying it was over. It had dried up. There was nothing between us anymore. We could barely stand to be next to each other. Everyone else knew that we are falling apart, but we couldn't see it for ourselves.

The last week of our seventh year term was spent with us not talking at all, not even to others. I don't recall seeing Harry once that week. At the farewell meal McGonagall gave a long speech to us all about the victims of war and about how people shouldn't close away from others. I have a feeling she was talking about Harry, Ron and me. We should have stay strong, according to McGonagall, but there wasn't anything for us to be strong about. The train journey home was spent with me sitting with a few Ravenclaw girls. Ron stayed with Ginny, both of them deadly pale. They were scared of going home, to re-visit the place where both of them had lost their parents. I shred many tears over it. I think it was too many, because I was never able to shred tears for my own lost. Harry, like normal, disappeared and I only saw him again briefly on the platform. We gathered together for one last time. Harry met my eyes for the first time in months and I smiled at him. Ron looked up and smiled at something between the two of us. There were no words to say, the message hung in the air for all to see.

This was goodbye.

That was four years ago, and yes, I do regret what happened. My time at Hogwarts was one of the best in my life and Harry and Ron were the most important part of my life for seven years. If I could turn back time, I would do things differently. I can't do that, I know. I hope someday I can make amends. That I can change what became of our friendship.

The friendships that I have made here, at the University of East Anglia, have helped me to see the mistakes of my past. Currently I can't forgive myself for what I did, but soon, I will have forgiveness from them and be able to forgive myself.

Hermione Granger sat back from her laptop and read the short essay. She doubled checked it before working out how many words it was. 492 words, eight words short of the maximum word count. Hermione smiled to herself as she saved the mini essay and printed it out. She knew her writing was girly in style and her professor hated it. He thought she would never be able to make it as a journalist because her writing style held too many expressions and was too unrealistic. He had made a joke out of her brilliant essay on the racist behaviour that was inflicted on her at Hogwarts. She never hoped to please him, so she settled for pleasing herself instead. Once the essay was printed out, she shut down her laptop and put it away. She stood and left the library. Some things never change.